Lost

Now this is precisely what i don't need! I pledged myself to the king in order to get away from my previous life. No more crime, no more moral grey areas. The kings word is law. Thus his commands can be nothing but righteous, right? He commands and I obey. Yet, it doesn't feel right. Everytime i have meet him he lives up to my every expectation. Still when he isn't there the official actions of the Kingdom seem at best incompetent and haphazard, at worst downright evil. I have done much that can't be considered good. Raising the dead as eternal slaves though... That's a whole different level of insidious. How can the king I know let such things happen? Is the man I've met just a facade. Is he aware of these actions or is he unaware? Which would be worst. Service to the crown was to be my salvation from the past, yet this role simply seems to dig me deeper and deeper into it. I'm starting to doubt if I've made the right decisions.
 
Then we have this Izdubar fellow. A very powerful man no doubt, but what are his motives? He claims to have been working since he was betrayed, but as far as I know he could just as well have been sitting on his ass doing nothing. If he is so powerful himself then why does he need us to do his dirtywork for him? And that's some dirtywork if i ever saw any! Going after the demon king himself! I AM A THIEF, A SPY, A MURDERER, NOT A HERO! I don't need this! Especially after what I've been told. They might need me out west... Deeper and deeper into the shit I go and these paws ain't good for digging. What am I doing here? I feel so lost.