From the Heart

Kit waited for her brother at the riverbank, stripping off her boots and letting her feet dangle in the water. She closed her eyes, soaking up the familiar feeling, trying to picture the smell of the ocean air, the ocean itself, breathing in deeply.
 
There was a lot on her mind – too much – and at the moment at least, she knew she needed to get some off of it. Asmodeous had left her alone for the past several hours. Not that she believed for a moment he did it out of kindness. No, the devil gave her a break because he didn't want her to break, and that was it. He'd be back soon enough.
 
She could hear the mumble of Killian and Dev's voices carrying over the air. Not enough to make out what they were saying, but just enough to know they were there and talking. Kit found herself hoping the Forester could talk some sense into her brother. She began thinking about Devlin's suggestion, shaking her head at the thought of becoming a tracker herself. It sounded decent, enticing really, but she wanted to be at sea – she needed to be at sea. But maybe, one day, the odd contract while at port might not be a bad idea.
 
When Killian finally approached, Kit felt some of the tension in her body release. When her brother had offered to spend the night at the river with her, she had realized part of the tension she was feeling was she needed time with her brother – just her brother. She didn't think Killian realized just how much she needed him. It wasn't just that she felt she had to save him – he was also the only place, the only person, she felt safe with, felt whole, felt like more than a cold-blooded killer and pet of the devil. He gave her strength. And since their first night departing the city, she hadn't really been able to steal any of the time she was used to having.
 
Sneaking away on a watch for a few minutes didn't count. Add to that being surrounded by people – even if it was just a small group – all the time was starting to get to her. She wasn't used to this, used to having to worry about others, socialize with others. She was doing her best, but it was making it harder for her to remain steady in the face of their current situation and the taunts of Asmodeous.
 
Killian sat down beside her, and Kit drew her legs out of the water, pulled her knees into chest, and leaned into Killian. Her brother put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, and Kit sighed, feeling herself relax.
 
"I've missed you, Killian," she said softly.
 
Killian chuckled. "I've been with you the whole time, dear sister. How could you miss me?"
 
"I've missed this, our time just you and me. I've needed this. Just us. Noone else spyin', or listenin' in."
 
Killian hugged her tightly. "Aye," he said softly.
 
Kit sat in silence a moment, just listening to her brother breathing, his heart in his chest. He was alive. And he was surviving, despite their odds. He would survive. She had to believe that.
 
But she knew the devil was taunting him too, probably about Killian's plans to execute him. And the more Killian intended to follow through with it, the more power the devil had over her brother.
 
"Killian, I need you to do something for me," she said, her tone serious.
 
"Hmm? Anything, Kit. You know I'd set the world ablaze if it meant helping you," he said quietly.
 
"I need you to give up this plan to try to kill Asmodeous." She felt Killian's body stiffen as he opened his mouth to protest. "Just, let me finish brother."
 
Killian didn't speak, and Kit didn't look at him to see if he would wait for her to continue. He was silent, so she assumed he would.
 
"As long as you maintain this plot, he's going to have power over you, and that obsession? It gives him power over me too. You know you can't kill him. You're a damned arrogant fool half the time, but you're not an idiot. Not by a long shot. You're smart enough to know that."
 
She paused, sighing deeply.
 
"Killian, he's never gonna let me die. Ever. I'm too valuable for him. If I die, he's just going to resurrect me into something else and make me do worse. Make me more than a killer. And if you die tryin' t'kill him, I'll do it, because I'm going to have nothing left keeping me from tipping over the edge. So please, for me, at least for now, promise me you'll change those plans."
 
—--
 
Killian sighed, and as he lit his pipe, his sister could see the turmoil in his deep black eyes.
 
“You’re right, and I know you’re right. Devlin’s right, too. Asmodeus, hells, even he’s right. I can’t undo that which was done, sister. And you’re the only person that’ll ever hear me say it, but that tears me to pieces, every damn day. Hells, I wanted to at least get the family back together, this was my backup plan. T’give you something, even if I can’t give you back your life. Maybe just for once I was hopin’ we could have some kinda happiness, I don’t know.”
 
As he held his sister tightly and listened to the sound of the rushing waters, Killian felt truly comfortable for the first time since they set out on this journey.
 
“Maybe I’ll never make it all right in my own mind. But I’ll always love you, no depths can drown it. And I’ll yet find a way to bring you some peace, dear sister.
 
We’d better get some rest, we’ve got plenty of travel and a lot of uncertainty ahead of us, Kit.”