GB Chapter 30: Battle of the Partridge Tower

General Summary

Opening

• The Gaiobros chat with Wizard Santa, who seems to be swapping between personalities.
• Master Obu:

Combat: The Gaiobros vs. Santa & Friends

Initiative

• MB: 11
• Balcazar: 10
• Wizard Santas: 7
• Robot: 10
• Fork: 19
• Master Obu: 16
• Rexy: 5
• The Twins: 9 (87/104 for the Boy, 104/104 for the Girl)
• St Knights: 24, 19/84 & 0/84
• Draconius (0/75 HP): 9
• Reigndeer: 14/70 HP, 50/70 HP, 60/70 HP

Round 1

• St Knights: Wait on guard
• Fork: Stunning Strikes for 6 bludgeoning, successfully stuns. Punches twice more for 15 bludgeoning damage (21 total)
• Master Obu: Casts Blight at stunned Wizard Santa for 42 necrotic damage
• MB: Transforms into Wizard Santa and sits on the throne; convinces the real Wizard Santa that he's him
• Balcazar: Fires Madrakor's Gauntlet for 7 bludgeoning damage for a tight ball squeeze. Then casts Melt (4th level) for 36 fire damage and makes Wizard Santa all gooey
• Robot: Starts wailing on Draconius and the Boy; 9 to Draconius & 6 to the Boy
• The Twins: The Boy slashes with Soul Claw, but doesn't penetrate the armor. The Girl climbs on Rexy back, reluctanctly
• Draconius: Slashes twice with the Soul Scythe, but misses.
• Wizard Santa: Casts Hold Person on the party; Balcazar & MB succeed, Master Obu & Fork
• Rexy: Headbutts Mrs. Clause for 27 bludgeoning damage, knocks her prone. Then bites for 11 piercing.

Round 2

• St Knights: Cast Spiritual Weapon (2nd level) for 7/11 force damage to Balcazar/Rexy; Rexy roars defiantly. Calls two more reigndeer
• Fork: Stands at attention
• Master Obu: Shakes off the Hold Person, then weakly whispers to the Girl
• MB: 22 total damage to Mrs. Clause
• Balcazar: Fires Madrakor's Gauntlet for 6 necrotic damage to Mrs. Clause, then casts Wall of Stone (5th level) to cover the wall. Wizard Santa Counter Spells (3rd level), so Balcazar sulks
• Mrs. Clause: Jumps up and punches Rexy for 7/4 bludgeoning (11 total he has disadvantage until the end of his next turn, but roars and kicks his legs in the air. Punches MB for 5 damage
• The Twins: The Boy deals 10 acid damage to Mrs. Clause with Acid Splash. The Girl casts Cold Blast and deals 8 cold damage to Mrs. Clause
• Draconius: Casts Fireball (3rd level) for 17 to Wizard Santa, the reigndeer, & 1 St Knight, 8 damage to the other
• Wizard Santa: Flies out of the window and casts Cone of Cold (5th level) on the group. 43 total damage; 43 to MB & Draconius, 22 to Obu & the Boy, and none to the Girl. Positions so that the reigndeer takes it
• Rexy: Headbutts the reigndeer, but misses. Hits with the tail for 27 bludgeoning (reigndeer) & 7 (Wizard)

Round 3

• St Knights: Attack Draconius, one deals 6 slashing/8 radiant damage (14), then the other does 10 slashing/9 radiant (19). Downs Draconius, as the reigndeer come to the St. Knights aid
• Fork: Still paralyzed
• Master Obu: Casts Refractive Image to mindgame Wizard Santa
• MB: Swings his sword for 14 slashing/9 radiant (23 total) at Mrs. Clause
• Balcazar: Madrakor's Gauntlet bangs off of Mrs. Clause's armor. Then casts Wind Slice (3rd level) for 23 slashing (Mrs. Clause) & 11 slashing (the Boy)
• Mrs. Clause: Punches MB for 7 damage, disadavantage on anyone except her. Then does 10 damage to Balcazar, who now has disadvantage on everyone except Clause.
• The Twins: The Girl does 12 acid damage to reigndeer. The Boy casts Dark Lightning on Mrs. Clause for 30 lightning damage, ejecting her from the suits
• Draconius: Death Successs
• Wizard Santa: Casts Cone of Cold on the group, 40 damage; 40 damage to each St. Knight & Balcazar & Boy, a death fail to Draconius & Mrs. Clause, 20 to MB & 1 Reigndeer, 10 to 1 Reigndeer
• Rexy: Flies over and bites Wizard Santa for 23 piercing damage, who transforms into an abominable snowman

Round 4

• St. Knights: Kill Draconius, then mount their reigndeer
• Fork: Runs at Wizard Santa, hits him with Stunning Strike for 11 damage, 6 damage (17 total, 4 ki points burned total. Wizard Santa isn't stunned)
• Master Obu: Jumps off, places a hand on Wizard Santa's head, then casts Shock Therapy for 34 psychic/17 lightning (51 total).
• MB: Attacks with Blinding Smite (3rd level) for 21 damage and blinds him. Swings and misses
• Balcazar: Pulls out the greataxe and executes Mrs. Clause. Gauntlet backhands a St. Knight for 6 damage.
• The Twins: The Girl casts Flash Freeze for 35 cold damage (17 total), freezing Rudolph solid. The Boy casts Dead Line (6th level) on a St Knight and dismisses his soul to the afterlife
• Draconius: The Denowraiths take Draconius & Flamonius from the realm to the afterlife. They ponder taking Stonius, but realize that the
• Wizard Santa: Drops form and mourns the loss of his wife. He points to the crystal ball.
• Rexy: Charges the crystal ball and destroys it with his tail. The soul of the evil Wizard Santa appears and shittalks the younger Wizard Santa until the Denowraiths drag him away

Aftermath

I’m sorry y’all, I didn’t have the time or energy to finish this. All I know is that Obu convinced the Denowraith to let the group say goodbye to Draconius’s soul, then performed a Soul Swap on him & Wizard Santa. He managed to swap the two, putting Draconius into Wizard Santa’s body and leaving Santa’s soul with an angry Denowraith, who curses at Obu and declares that they will remember this. At some point, MB rapes Santa

Magitech Ideas

1. Draconius’ armor (crafted by Obu) would function as Medium armor with an AC of 15, is compatible with non-proficient spellcasters, and can grant resistance to a damage type for 1 minute at a time. The damage type is determined by a d6 and can be either acid, cold, fire, lightning, radiant or force. 2. Master Obu’s Dark Generator would function as a machine that could (theoretically) contain the Daidrin Gaiostone by channeling the dark energy it radiates to its exterior. It could also channel any Daidrin spell through it (no real plan here, I’m open to suggestions) 3. Balcazar’s Brain Booster 4. Fork’s Superstaff - same features as the Tavern King’s Staff + can switch damage types between bludgeoning/piercing/slashing (all magical, since he’s a monk). Could have a few charges of extra ki points or something 5. MB’s Dildorang - has charges equal to the amount of people they have sexually conquested over the past week. Each charge gives the Dildorang an extra 1d6 acid damage that squirts out in a 10 ft AoE upon hitting the target (can retroactively charge it with previous sexual conquests prior to construction, with Sevuctus’ blessing). In addition, you can apply any Paladin spells that you cast to ranged attacks made with the Dildorang, with exception of the Divine Smite ability.

Report Date

07 Jan 2023

Primary Location

Santa’s Workshop

Secondary Location

Cyregnor

Related Plots

• The Daidrin Expedition
• The War on Christmas

Related Characters

• Wizard Santa