ED
They told me that I need to talk to ED about my raise, which is their polite way of saying that I will never be getting that raise.
Ira Costigan, Project Administrator with Hegemony International
Acronym
E
D is the Executive Director of Global Initiatives for
Hegemony International. "ED" is not her real name. "ED" is an acronym for "Executive Director". But she is only ever referred to as "ED". Her administrative assistant, Vox, refers to her exclusively as "ED". Her email address is [email protected]. In the corporate directory, she is only listed as "ED". It's unclear whether anyone actually knows her government name.
Ghost
It's also unclear whether anyone has ever actually seen her in person. Her office is encased in opaque glass. Depending upon the brightness of the day, a blurry shadow can occasionally be seen through the glass. During such times, that shadow is presumed to be ED. There are no pictures of her in the corporate directory and there are no other records within Rabbit Hole, or anywhere else within Hegemony's corporate documentation, that purport to represent her.
There is a single door to her office. That door is a mere 30 centimeters in height. And it's always closed.
Nonexistent?
The org chart has consistently identified her as occupying the executive director role and, from a corporate perspective, she's absolutely considered to be an official employee. But numerous members of Hegemony's staff - whether inside or outside of the Global Initiatives division - have openly speculated as to whether ED even exists.
Physical Description
Identifying Characteristics
S
ince no one (not even Vox), has ever acknowledged seeing her, any details as to ED's identifying features - or any information at all regarding her physical appearance - are a complete mystery.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
A
lmost nothing is known of ED's personal history.
Gender Identity
E
D is presumed to be female. Or at least, she uses standard female pronouns.
Education
I
t's presumed that ED has at least a four-year degree or higher, since nearly all of Hegemony's directors hold such a qualification. But there are no accessible records that indicate the number or level of degree(s) she has attained. Similarly, there's no record of her major(s) or minor(s).
Employment
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
The only way to get a crappy project off your docket is to make some kinda meaningful progress on it. Once that happens, ED will swiftly hand it off to the Very Special Projects team.
Jordyn O'Donnell, Project Administrator with Hegemony International
W
hile ED's motivations are generally identical to those of Hegemony International, she seems to take particular joy in shuffling projects between the Standard Projects, Special Projects, and Very Special Projects teams. To the members of those teams, such reassignments often seem arbitrary and capricious.
Social
Contacts & Relations
A
lthough ED occasionally utilizes email and Holla for direct communication, her only real "contact" is Vox. Vox's edicts are generally understood to originate from ED, although there is no direct confirmation of this. ED's direct reports are all M&Ms, but even they would be hard pressed to think of themselves as having any type of "relationship" with her.
Inaccessible
In theory, meetings can be scheduled with ED by going through Vox or by using the automated scheduling system. In practice, neither of these approaches are ever successful. Her calendar is shown as being constantly booked with other meetings. If anyone attempts to "double book" her through the automated scheduling system, presumably to secure her attendance at their meeting, she will always deny the meeting request. If anyone attempts to secure her attendance by coordinating through her assistant, Vox will always tell the requestor that ED's calendar is currently booked solid but she'll let you know as soon as something opens up. But nothing ever opens up on ED's calendar.
Speech
N
o one has ever acknowledged actually hearing ED's voice. Most of her instructions are delivered via Vox. When she does choose to communicate directly with those in her organization, it is always via email or chat (Holla).
Silent
She is frequently on conference calls. But during those calls she never volunteers a word. If any other participants try to solicit her input during the call, she will either fail to answer them at all, or she will type out a direct response to them over Holla.
Current Location
Honorary & Occupational Titles
Executive Director of Global Initiatives
Age
Unknown
Children
Sex
Female
Gender
Woman
Presentation
Unknown
Eyes
Unknown
Hair
Unknown
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
Unknown
Height
Unknown
Weight
Unknown
Aligned Organization
Comments