Session 18: 14% Is My Favorite Flavor
General Summary
This session began on Caldra 6, 2597 in the Marshlands of Err under a slight morning drizzle. Atticus began the day by summoning familiar, a one-eyed raven named Muninn. Rodan Spice took a swig of his magically enhancing booze. Kale consulted the stars. Tork worked out fiercely. And Alena Birch attempted to pray although connection was difficult amidst the rain. Atticus spent the rest of their tearing down of camp preparing a roasted bean from the South to make a steamed beverage over the campfire. With that, the party continued traveling North-West as the overcast sky and warm drizzle soaked them.
Later in the morning Kale noticed a large bird-like creature coming towards them. While Muninn approached it, the party readied themselves for something not friendly. What they encountered instead was a humanoid land with large brown wings which initially obscured their body. As the wings dissipated amidst the morning rain, a slender figure dressed in green and sporting a long braid approached Cameel to ask if they had seen any druids. Cameel commented they had only seen Kale recently at which point the figure began conversing with the people, letting them know their name was Wren and they were searching for an answer to the blight in their home woods by searching the Ancient Woods of Sundal. She had noted a lack of animals the lack of the druids who should live there. The only creature she noticed were the occasional raven but these were unlike other animals she was used to and were not nice.
The party told Wren she was allowed to journey with them if they would like, but she should be aware that they were searching for purple minotaurs as Tork's boyfriend Zirk (who they informed her had been on two dates with him) had been taken by this group. Wren agreed to travel along with them for the time being. The group traveled the rest of the day before nearing nightfall and with the drizzle still upon them, they happened upon an abandoned town. Twelve thatched huts, a large thatched building, three charred and smoking remnants of huts, and a pen of giant frogs were without caretaker. The party discovered a bunch of saddles for the large frogs, gigging equipment for small frogs, and Ribbet. Ribbet through his communication turtle talisman was able to write in his language and have it read in the language of whomever was touching the talisman. This allowed him to tell the party he was alone in the village, how their witch had allowed him to speak with this talisman, how they ate smaller frogs, how the purple devils had taken away the rest of the village over years, and how the purple devils had last been there less than a week prior. After communicating all of this information, the party asked if they could stay for the evening and Ribbet agreed as long as they didn't stay in his house.
With this agreement, Alena Birch began teaching Rodan Spice and Tork Celestial. Wren decided to talk with "Bull" the Oxen and Cameel to learn more about the party. She laughed out loud at some point in their conversation although its contents was unknown to the rest of the group. Atticus made a fire and then took a piss. Tork took the first watch that evening and immediately fell asleep to the croaking melody of the large frog pen he was leaning against while the rest of the party slept, Kale watched the stars and thought he saw a tiny sliver of the moon right before falling asleep, and Rodan Spice claimed the biggest of the thatched huts for himself. Wren, following her conversation with
Alena Birch woke up after her four hour rest and found Tork asleep then kept watch the rest of the night until the morning as the rain leveled off and the clouds had some minor breaks in them. When the group all woke for the day and was getting ready, they noticed that Atticus has the turtle talisman on his throat. When they asked him about it, he calmly explained that he went back to the hut following his piss, shoved a bag of sand in Ribbet's mouth, forced him in the corner with his cane, dug the talisman out with his dagger, tended and cleaned Ribbet's wound, then threw him into the frog pen's stable building. Wren was outspokenly upset with this decision while Kale also seemed somewhat weary of these actions (he repeatedly asked if Atticus ate the frog). Atticus explained that a creature that eats smaller versions of itself is a cannibals' and this is simply the correct choice to make to deprive it of a powerful artifact like the one it possessed.
Tork claimed he was awake during this but didn't want to say anything at which point Alena Birch rapped Tork on the shin for his lies. A little bit later when breaking camp, Wren made the decision to release Ribbet from the stable which Atticus very hesitantly did not intercede to stop. She mimed she was sorry to Ribbet before they headed off for the day with Atticus singing a little melody to himself complimented by his lute. As the days travels went on, the party found themselves around gnarled trees that were growing up and in the late afternoon by the side of an overturned cart. Tork turned it over but in the process got himself stuck in the mud. He was unable to get out on his own and had to use a rope Alena Birch affixed to a tree to successfully free himself. Wren froze the mucky patch where he had been so he could easily retrieve the chest that had been in the flipped over cart. Back with the party, Rodan Spice confidently picked the lock on the chest with ease and flipped open the lock. As he did so, a trap was triggered and a dart embedded itself in his left eye. He fell back onto the cart paralyzed.
Atticus moved in, grasped the dart with his one hand and the forehead with another before gently pulling. He managed to remove the dart, leaving a trail of blood trailing down Rodan Spice's face before Rodan Spice's eye also bulged halfway out of its socket. Alena Birch awoke Rodan Spice at this point and he confidently pressed his eye back into its socket. With somewhat lessened vision in that eye Rodan Spice was mostly back to normal. Atticus informed Rodan Spice he did so just in time as Atticus was considering making Muninn a two-eyed Raven.
The contents of the chest that was now disarmed included a holy text of Owenak, a bottle of herbs wrapped in a dwarvish note, and an empty small bird cage. Tork attached the bird cage to his side and later on downed the bottle of herbs which Kale could only identify as helping someone who was already strong (a type of male enhancement if you will) and that there was something unknown within it. No one else in the party was able to determine anything about the secondary compound in the bottle. Atticus translated the dwarvish note to "Beware the purple horned ones. They attack with fury. Best Be Prepared" which the party agreed they already knew. Wren took the Holy Text of Owenak for the time being. The party then continued past the overturned cart until they made camp for the evening in a denser part of the swamp/forest transition land. Among the gnarled trees Kale heard some with faces talking to him although none of the rest of the party heard them nor saw the faces. Kale kept speaking out loud about not wanting to touch the trees while the party encouraged him to only do it if he wanted to as one was already oozing. When Kale touched a tree, he was thrown back almost to a memory of his home in Nwyfre and the speaking trees there. His Uncle Barkly was speaking to him and told him "Remember What I Forgot Nephew". After this experience Kale announced he could now see in the dark.
With evening coming, Tork began to hear some voices as he was drifting off to sleep as if they were quietly screaming in terror. Atticus slept easily, Kale watched again for the Damn Moon, Rodan Spice rested (presumably with some alcohol as they had his favorite flavor, 14%), Wren moved to sleep away from them again as she now trusts them less than when she first met them, and Alena Birch kept first watch.
The party broke camp the next morning and early morning found themselves finally within the Ancient Woods of Sundal. The towering trees climbed up hundreds of feet and the trunks were easily dozens of feet in circumference. Alena Birch climbed skillfully to the top of one and was elated to see the forest stretch far in front of them. Once back on the ground she lead the party through the woods as only a master ranger could do. What many others would have mistaken as a cradle left over from an uprooted tree she correctly identified as a pit trap and had the party avoid. With danger avoided for the day and some progress made in this easier, though eerily quiet and anima-less terrain, the party made a small camp site for the evening. Just as they were finishing its setup and darkness had made the campfire bright, they found themselves hearing a plucky banjo play half of a banjo duel "do do do do do do do do do". At this, Atticus replied first with his lute, then Kale with his pan flute, and then Tork tried to join in with javelins on a tree. Finally at Atticus began singing the ballad of Rodan Spice along with the banjos:14% Is My Favorite Flavor
Dear God, A Large Pizza is $15
I've Been In Situations Where I Just Wanted it To Be Over
Hardback, With Little Heads
Carefully Unravel Camp
Something a Little Bit Magical Entered His Body
That Would Be Your Relationship with Ravens
Rip Off Part of a Bush
Tork Wouldn't Want to Get Wet
Slave Apology II
Not a Slave Yet
I Have One Bean
Vibes Check
Closer to a Camel than a Human
Not the Druid You're Thinking
Cameel's Pronouns Are They/Them
Kale, Not a Slave
Cameel Did Not Have a Penis
You Never Looked to See If That Camel Had Balls?
Cameel Unfortunately is a Slave
Cameel: Progressive Camel
Tork is a Swinger
He Is Going to Commit Genocide
They've Been on Two Dates
Just Want to Be Friends?
One Can Never Have Too Many Friends
You Can Still Have Sexual Relations with Your Friends
Thanks for the Offer But No
"Prove Himself in Battle"
Blight? Chalk Full of Vampires
Obelisks of Dead People
Can We Ride Them?
And A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The Frogs Are in Danger
Leave the Frogs Alone
This One Hasn't Been Burned Down Yet?
Why Not Kale?
6 Adventurers, One Hut
Slimy Frog
Teenage Mutant Ninja Froggies
One More Reason for Genocide
Since a Tadpole
This Thing Isn't a Person
Frog Cannibals
When I Was Younger, In the Womb, I Ate My Brother
Marsh is the Worst Type of Terrain
Purple Minotaur's Are Dicks
The Terrible Tips
GI Joe: The Colonoscopy Camera
Fun Fact: You Don't Have to Be Nice
Someone's Finally Pissing in a D&D Session
Bladders are Infinite
I Haven't Pissed in Months
Tork Wouldn't Be Tork Without Being Angry
Tork Doesn't Want to be Rd in the Chest Anymore
I Don't Trust Any of These People
A Long Piss
Drank
Tork Is Going to Use Morning Routine
Did You Eat the Frog
He Ate the Frog
I Shoved a Bag of Sand in its Mouth
2" Is Pretty Big
That's Fucked
He Has a Strict Sense of Justice
Tork Was Awake For All Of This
Met a Frogman in the Stix
Did Tork Get Shorter?
Tork's Not Getting Out. Oh Well.
Alena is Almost As Tall As Tork
Quicksand Again
Scroll of Water Walk
I Can Do More Than Try. I'm Now Going to Try to Pick the Lock.
Is It Bad?
Kale Will Watch
Squelch
Is That Better?
Moments Away From Giving Your Eyeball to My Bird
I Do Have This Wand That Detects Traps
Put the Bottle in the Birdcage
Feel Better, Last Longer - Male Enhancement
Horny Goat Weed
Tork Doesn't Take Performance Enhancing Drugs
Tork is Accessorizing
Small Hard Hat
Rodan Doesn't Check for Traps
100% of Chests in the Swamp Are Trapped
Does Kale Detect a Trap on Atticus
I Don't Need Laws of Man to Tell Me What I Ought To Do
The Trees Aren't Talking, Its My Imagination, Just Like the Moon
You're Having an Episode
This Is Why We Made Him a Slave
Touch Me
There's Sap Really Oozing Out
There Was This One Tree
Probably a Sassafras
If It'll Make You Shut Up
They Hate Elm Trees
Culturally Appropriated Oak Trees
I Can See In the Dark
Minotaur's Don't Have Dark Vision?
Are You Willing?
Tork's Pants Stay On
Document his Consent Now In Case He Revokes It Later
Just a Little Screaming
Bereft of Life
The Narrative Ether
Tork Hears Voices
I Always Hear Screaming
I Just Hear My Old Colleagues
If You Hear Banjos, You Know Enough To
It's Always Zombies with Banjo Music
Rodan Walked So Atticus Could Run
Later in the morning Kale noticed a large bird-like creature coming towards them. While Muninn approached it, the party readied themselves for something not friendly. What they encountered instead was a humanoid land with large brown wings which initially obscured their body. As the wings dissipated amidst the morning rain, a slender figure dressed in green and sporting a long braid approached Cameel to ask if they had seen any druids. Cameel commented they had only seen Kale recently at which point the figure began conversing with the people, letting them know their name was Wren and they were searching for an answer to the blight in their home woods by searching the Ancient Woods of Sundal. She had noted a lack of animals the lack of the druids who should live there. The only creature she noticed were the occasional raven but these were unlike other animals she was used to and were not nice.
The party told Wren she was allowed to journey with them if they would like, but she should be aware that they were searching for purple minotaurs as Tork's boyfriend Zirk (who they informed her had been on two dates with him) had been taken by this group. Wren agreed to travel along with them for the time being. The group traveled the rest of the day before nearing nightfall and with the drizzle still upon them, they happened upon an abandoned town. Twelve thatched huts, a large thatched building, three charred and smoking remnants of huts, and a pen of giant frogs were without caretaker. The party discovered a bunch of saddles for the large frogs, gigging equipment for small frogs, and Ribbet. Ribbet through his communication turtle talisman was able to write in his language and have it read in the language of whomever was touching the talisman. This allowed him to tell the party he was alone in the village, how their witch had allowed him to speak with this talisman, how they ate smaller frogs, how the purple devils had taken away the rest of the village over years, and how the purple devils had last been there less than a week prior. After communicating all of this information, the party asked if they could stay for the evening and Ribbet agreed as long as they didn't stay in his house.
With this agreement, Alena Birch began teaching Rodan Spice and Tork Celestial. Wren decided to talk with "Bull" the Oxen and Cameel to learn more about the party. She laughed out loud at some point in their conversation although its contents was unknown to the rest of the group. Atticus made a fire and then took a piss. Tork took the first watch that evening and immediately fell asleep to the croaking melody of the large frog pen he was leaning against while the rest of the party slept, Kale watched the stars and thought he saw a tiny sliver of the moon right before falling asleep, and Rodan Spice claimed the biggest of the thatched huts for himself. Wren, following her conversation with
Alena Birch woke up after her four hour rest and found Tork asleep then kept watch the rest of the night until the morning as the rain leveled off and the clouds had some minor breaks in them. When the group all woke for the day and was getting ready, they noticed that Atticus has the turtle talisman on his throat. When they asked him about it, he calmly explained that he went back to the hut following his piss, shoved a bag of sand in Ribbet's mouth, forced him in the corner with his cane, dug the talisman out with his dagger, tended and cleaned Ribbet's wound, then threw him into the frog pen's stable building. Wren was outspokenly upset with this decision while Kale also seemed somewhat weary of these actions (he repeatedly asked if Atticus ate the frog). Atticus explained that a creature that eats smaller versions of itself is a cannibals' and this is simply the correct choice to make to deprive it of a powerful artifact like the one it possessed.
Tork claimed he was awake during this but didn't want to say anything at which point Alena Birch rapped Tork on the shin for his lies. A little bit later when breaking camp, Wren made the decision to release Ribbet from the stable which Atticus very hesitantly did not intercede to stop. She mimed she was sorry to Ribbet before they headed off for the day with Atticus singing a little melody to himself complimented by his lute. As the days travels went on, the party found themselves around gnarled trees that were growing up and in the late afternoon by the side of an overturned cart. Tork turned it over but in the process got himself stuck in the mud. He was unable to get out on his own and had to use a rope Alena Birch affixed to a tree to successfully free himself. Wren froze the mucky patch where he had been so he could easily retrieve the chest that had been in the flipped over cart. Back with the party, Rodan Spice confidently picked the lock on the chest with ease and flipped open the lock. As he did so, a trap was triggered and a dart embedded itself in his left eye. He fell back onto the cart paralyzed.
Atticus moved in, grasped the dart with his one hand and the forehead with another before gently pulling. He managed to remove the dart, leaving a trail of blood trailing down Rodan Spice's face before Rodan Spice's eye also bulged halfway out of its socket. Alena Birch awoke Rodan Spice at this point and he confidently pressed his eye back into its socket. With somewhat lessened vision in that eye Rodan Spice was mostly back to normal. Atticus informed Rodan Spice he did so just in time as Atticus was considering making Muninn a two-eyed Raven.
The contents of the chest that was now disarmed included a holy text of Owenak, a bottle of herbs wrapped in a dwarvish note, and an empty small bird cage. Tork attached the bird cage to his side and later on downed the bottle of herbs which Kale could only identify as helping someone who was already strong (a type of male enhancement if you will) and that there was something unknown within it. No one else in the party was able to determine anything about the secondary compound in the bottle. Atticus translated the dwarvish note to "Beware the purple horned ones. They attack with fury. Best Be Prepared" which the party agreed they already knew. Wren took the Holy Text of Owenak for the time being. The party then continued past the overturned cart until they made camp for the evening in a denser part of the swamp/forest transition land. Among the gnarled trees Kale heard some with faces talking to him although none of the rest of the party heard them nor saw the faces. Kale kept speaking out loud about not wanting to touch the trees while the party encouraged him to only do it if he wanted to as one was already oozing. When Kale touched a tree, he was thrown back almost to a memory of his home in Nwyfre and the speaking trees there. His Uncle Barkly was speaking to him and told him "Remember What I Forgot Nephew". After this experience Kale announced he could now see in the dark.
With evening coming, Tork began to hear some voices as he was drifting off to sleep as if they were quietly screaming in terror. Atticus slept easily, Kale watched again for the Damn Moon, Rodan Spice rested (presumably with some alcohol as they had his favorite flavor, 14%), Wren moved to sleep away from them again as she now trusts them less than when she first met them, and Alena Birch kept first watch.
The party broke camp the next morning and early morning found themselves finally within the Ancient Woods of Sundal. The towering trees climbed up hundreds of feet and the trunks were easily dozens of feet in circumference. Alena Birch climbed skillfully to the top of one and was elated to see the forest stretch far in front of them. Once back on the ground she lead the party through the woods as only a master ranger could do. What many others would have mistaken as a cradle left over from an uprooted tree she correctly identified as a pit trap and had the party avoid. With danger avoided for the day and some progress made in this easier, though eerily quiet and anima-less terrain, the party made a small camp site for the evening. Just as they were finishing its setup and darkness had made the campfire bright, they found themselves hearing a plucky banjo play half of a banjo duel "do do do do do do do do do". At this, Atticus replied first with his lute, then Kale with his pan flute, and then Tork tried to join in with javelins on a tree. Finally at Atticus began singing the ballad of Rodan Spice along with the banjos:
With this, three figures were cast in shadow and stepped into the firelight as the party readied their weapons for a potential confrontation. The next session will begin right after dark on Caldra 8, 2597.Ballad of Rodan Spice
Oh, there once was a man named Rodan Spice
And he tried to drink all his wine.
Oh there once was man named Rodan Spice,
He didn't check a chest for a trap, got a dart in the eye.
Oh there once was a man named Rodan Spice.
And he couldn't find the bottom of his wine.
And he drank and he drank and he drank and he drank
all night.
There once was a man named Rodan Spice And he every decision he made was a roll of the dice.
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Report Date
11 May 2023
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