Session 19: Who Is The Bigger Asshole
General Summary
This session begins in the evening on Caldra 8, 2597 while the party was camping in the Ancient Woods of Sundal. A dwarf (Iynani ), halfling, and gnome came into the firelight, all playing banjos. They introudced themselves as Glass Half Full, a wandering minstrel group that was going to perform across the Fisk Empire. After a brief interrogation and threatening by the party (most of the threatening from Atticus) the group climbed up a tree to sleep for the night. They did tell the party they heard a group going the opposite direction of them a few nights prior and that they really hadn't seen anyone else or any creatures on their trip.
The party then recapped Atticus' latest attrocities with the frog people and a rousing discussion on canabalism, morality, and frogs ensued. Eventually a stalemate was called and the party rested for the evening. The next morning (Caldra 9) the party parted ways with the Glass Half Full who were going the opposite direction and Alena Birch skillfully lead the party through the woods once more. In the afternoon they came across a grotesque assortment of bodies positioned in unnatural angles to form a raven when viewed from above. Rodan Spice found more money for the pizza party fund on them as well as notes stuffed in pockets and mouths (no anuses) saying:
That evening the party made camp and Rodan Spice took a massive pull from his wine bottle before declaring he was too drunk for watch and passed out. Upset at Rodan Spice never taking watch, Alena Birch swiped his bottle of Everwine while asleep and watches that evening passed uneventfully. The next day (Caldra 10) when everyone awoke, Rodan Spice began searching for what happened to his wine and eventually Muninn relayed to Atticus that Alena Birch had taken it in the night. When pressed Alena Birch confessed but refused to return it until Rodan Spice took a watch that evening. Some tension ensued but ultimately the party broke camp and headed on their way for the day through the forest once again. Alena Birch led the party without issue and the trees began thinning out as the entered the hills at the base of World Spine. The party made camp for the evening and Rodan Spice appeared to take first watch while Tork took second watch. However, unbeknowst to all of the party except Atticus and Rodan Spice, Atticus created an illusion of Rodan Spice taking watch while giving Rodan Spice a bottle of wine and sending him to bed. When "Rodan's" shift was up, Tork was awakened by Muninn at Atticus' command. The next morning (Caldra 11) with none of the party aware, Rodan Spice and Alena Birch's rift was mended, Rodan Spice went back to being an alcoholic, and Alena Birch led them up into the World Spine and towards the Pass of Akzott.
As the day went on, the temperature dropped to more of an autumnal range as the elevation increased. Mid-morning they came across a carved archway of a dark gray stone marbled with white veins. It was smoothed from generations of weather and covered in lichen while an unknown script lined the top of it which Atticus translated for the group as "The Pass of Antormis". Alena Birch and Atticus were aware this was the God of the Dead. After some discussion, Atticus (with Muninn), Alena Birch, Tork (with Bull and Cart in tow), and Rodan Spice with Cameel walked through the gateway. Kale and Wren went around the side of it and Wren noticed in the general direction they were traveling, about three miles ahead, a similar archway. Upon reaching this archway, Atticus translated it as "Walk This Way", but when pressed gave the full translation of "Walk This Way With The Dead". The party continued following these ancient archways (non-magical from a check via Alena Birch). In all the archways said the following:
At the final archway and as dusk was fast approaching, the party found themselves on a cliff face that dropped off several hundred feet. Rodan Spice threw a worthless copper through to test that there wasn't an invsible bridge and eventually the party decided to take the carved switchback path to the bottom of the ravine (the beginning of the Pass of Akzott). At the bottom Kale found Rodan Spice's copper piece along with a large amount of dried blood. He surmised either sacrafice or suicide from the archway above was to blame. With this realization, the party made camp for the night and Atticus took both shifts of watch. On the second shift, with the help of Muninn, Atticus spotted minotaur tracks on the ground leading deeper into the pass. The next morning, the party broke camp and headed into the valley. Upon discovering an orange tunic, Tork and Atticus engaged in a loud conversation that may or may not have triggered an avalanche. Nonetheless, an avalanche did ensue which swept the party down the pass. A combination of failures and successes on various attempts to stay safe kept the party from sustaining much damage, but did cause them to each lose an item. Most were inconsequental except for Alena Birch's loss of a bag of magical beans.
Having transformed into large birds during the avalanche, Wren and Tork headed up high in the sky with Muninn to get a good look at where the pass was going. Seeing a half-days travel remaining, they went back to the party and treked up to a plateau later in the afternoon that was covered with a light snow. Alena Birch was able to find small splatters of blood in the snow along with some tracks lead towards the largest mountain in The Violent Tips. Nearing dusk and having climed roughly a third of the way up the mountain, the party found themselves facing a small cave not visible from the ground. Blood splatters led to the back wall and Kale was able to tell from his wand of secrets that there was a secret door (or a trap) on the back wall. Rodan Spice was skillfully able to determine where a stalagmite that needed to be pulled was located. Upon doing so, a deep rumbling sounded and two 5'x10' doors made of 2 feet thick stone opened. A threshold of dwarvish runes illuminated almost bioluminously revealing the words "Gewalt Consilo" in dwarvish, which Atticus relayed to the rest of the party. Rodan Spice told them how growing up he had read about the Gewalt Consilo and relayed all the information about them he remembered.
With this, the party delved into the interior and with both "Bull" the Oxen and Cameel, they headed into the ancient city of Gewalt Consilo. As they crossed the threshold, the door rumbled shut behind them, leaving the only light that remained eminating from Wren's staff. The started out by heading through a corridor for several hundred feet lined with intricately carved pillars that were in front of rough hewn walls. At the end of the hallway they came to a staircase. The case on the right went up while that on the left went down and had spatters of blood on it as well. Atticus sent Muninn a hundred feet up the right stairwell, and finding only more stairs, the party decided to head down. They left "Bull" the Oxen and cart behind while Cameel accompanied them. After the first two platforms where the stairs changed directions, the party began discovering bodies. Upside down and spread eagle, each body had its eyelids removed and had a pool of coagulated blood beneath it. Some Wren recognized as druids while others were just unknown beings.
After nearly two dozen of these bodies, the party discovered an archway that featured a large stone slab. The slab had a relief carved into it of a skull with flowers growing out of one eye socket while fungi and mushrooms emerged from the mouth. Alena Birch and Atticus recognized this as the symbol of Antormis and Atticus recognized this as a seal that is commonly found on tombs, graves, and catacombs (though he did not share this information with the party until much later). The party tried to find a way through, checking for magic, checking for traps, trying to use blood, trying to use someone acting dead, considering actually killing someone, and much more. Eventually, they checked and realized the blood trail did not end at the door, but continued down further. After another landing or two with bodies, they arrived at a metal gate blocking their path and a lock that was facing the other side. A loud knock eminated from it as they approached and they determined a failed attempt to unlock it would cause a spring to be released on the other side. Rodan Spice picked the lock which was open by the time he was trying it but did not convey this to the party. With that they continued on and heard the gate shut behind them.
The next landing on which the party descended was a kitchen of sorts. A stone door opened to a large room filled with stone tables, large ovens, and piles of food. Inside 3 goblins and 4 halflings wore tatters of clothing and were chained via large links to a central pillar while they went about cooking. They looked fearfully at the party and began answering some of their questions. Overall they told that below them were sleeping quarters, commons, and finally the actual city ruins although the purple minotaurs did not often go there. They further informed them 20 lived here and they were unsure how many were currently present. The kitchen staff informed them they were unkillable and rebutted the party's killing of them by asking if they stayed dead. When the party attempted to free them, they refused and eventually one relocked their bindings which Rodan Spice had undone, even as they did not know if their family was truly safe by their actions. With this the party descended another level. They came to a long hallway with 15 rooms on one side and 15 on the other. Most had lavish goods like jeweled bowls and gold along with fine cloths, but one did have a purple minotaurs body and head at different places in the room. The rest of the rooms were empty, and in the hallway were two gutted half elves sitting in their own bowels and chains. Without being able to do anything else, the party descended further.
They opened the next door and found themselves in a room that mixed oppulence with horror. Intricate rugs, massive tapestries (now scrawled over with puple ravens), and hewn thrones covered in velvet occupy the sides of the room. Piles of gold were scattered in chests around each throne as were crowns and tiaras and other loot. There were two creatures chained by collars around their necks to each of the thrones, most lying down on the ground in piles of exhaustion though some which looked fearfully at the newcomers. In the center of the room was a large rectangular pit (80-100 feet by 40-50 feet). It contained an iron cage, chains suspending bodies off the ground, stone tables covered in blood and gore, and a mix of rusty and blackened weapons. It was depressed 20 feet down and a single ladder lead down from door side of the room, while a rough circular opening appeared opposite of the door.
Also in the pit was a bruised and bloody orange tiefling suspended by his arms while dried blood covers his body and wounds with his head lolling on his chest. He was accompanied by three elves with twigs and leaves woven in their hair and root patterns tattooed on their upper arms. Another elf was strapped to a stone table, missing a leg in a bloody stub of rolled up pants. Upon this sight, Tork took off towards the ladder into the pit when a stone depressed under his foot. A clanking sounded as rapidly metal gates closed across the top of the pit. 6 purple minotaurs rushed out of the circular hole opposite of the party as the door swung shut behind them. Just as the last purple minotaur was emerging, Atticus swung his finger around towards them, a small bead of light formed just a centimeter off the tip, and then launched as if on a string before a massive orb of orange and yellow errupted from the hole through which they were pouring...
The next session begins in the last hours of the day on Caldra 12, 2597 right above the ruins of the ancient city of the Gewalt Consilo. A fight is starting, and potentially finishing with the Raven Tribe.Not a Slave
Any People We Can Talk To?
Three Not People
Glass Half Full
Menstrual... Like Once a Month?
Minotaur Face
Dwarf Climbing a Tree
Did You See Us?
Could Have Also Been Red?
You Can't See Colors
50 Shades of Gray by Atticus
Must Be A GDI
God Damn Independent
Rush or Charge?
Tree Gnomes
Keep Your Eyes Open, He's a Madman
If That Banjo Music Happens During the Night, Someone is Getting Fireballed
Rodan Might Be My Favorite Out of the Bunch
Kale "No Longer a Slave"
Brush Cameel
"Their Coat"
Someone Watch Atticus Piss (Not In A Gay Way)
Hold It For Me?
I Don't Consider Anyone Shorter Than a Human to Be a Person?
Eventually Trust Me?
Surprise, Unattended Flames?
Tork Must Be Bottom?
They Just Spoke Twice, Ten Minutes?
Tork's Not A Virgin Anymore?
Born Again Virgin
If He Had Killed Ribbet, I Don't Think I Would Be That Upset
Want Me to Put Him in the Stable
Tork==Beef
Never Eat Beef Again
Repent From My Sins or Be a Fanatic About Cannibalism
An Absurd Pull, Then Go to Bed
My Morning Wine
Via Touch, Feel the Body
Pizza Party Fund is a Peasants Life Savings
Rusty Daggers and Copper, Both Garbage
How Long for a Dead Body to Reach Room Temperature? (6-7 Hours BTW)
Weapons and Hanging?
How Do You Snap Necks?
I Don't Want to Look at the Bodies Anymore
If I Want to Hide From Bodies
You Give Up After 30 Seconds
The Bodies Aren't Raven
Owl or Raven?
Great Coordination. It's an Atrocity. But Great.
It's an "Art"rocity
Do You Just Put the Bodies in a Pile?
None in the Anus
Did This Note I Found on Every Body Matter?
Am I Atticus?
Can't Out Cun my Fireball
Muninn's Watching Over Me
Rodan the Alcoholic
A Thief is Among Us
How Much Wine Do You Think I Brought?
Nightly Duties
I Didn't Drink It All, I've Been Trying
"Well No One Trusts You"
Does the Whole Party Needing Counseling?
Kale Killed a Tree, Then They Got Sent to an Astral Dimension as Punishment
Not Really my Uncle, That is Not How Biology Works
Merlot
Rodan's Going Through Withdrawal
I Apologize If This Advances to Violence
Rodan Spice Wants to Compromise
It's More the Principle of the Matter
Atticus Takes a Piss, Who Is He Killing?
The Great Wine Caper
Tork Heard the Voices Again
There's No Need to Be An Asshole... Well...
Rodan Doesn't Hear Any Voices Yet
Who Is The Bigger Asshole
Goodberries for all the Non-Humans
Do You Touch Your Rock?
I Do, I Touch it Reverend
Are You Classist?
I Plan On Killing All The Gods One Day
What Do We Say to the God of Death: Not Today
I Was the Raven All Along
Not My Camel
Bull's Not On the Same Level as Cameel
If Cameel is a Person, Bull is Like a Halfling
By All Accounts I Do Think We're Dead
Not PermaSleep
Are You Okay Tork?
We're A Bunch of Ghosts in Meat Suits Piloted by Electric Jell-O on a Dirt Ball In A Void
It Actually is a Cliff
Full Speed, No Hesitation
Camp On the Edge of the Cliff?
Copper Killer
People Kill Themselves or Are Sacrificed
Nighttime, Time for Sleeping
We're Not Immediately Violent
Takis and Marghretti's
Its Not Cheating If Its With the Opposite Gender
Grab My Cane Rodan
Bird Tork
I Fireball the Avalanche
Do I Lose My Clothes?
Rodan Stripped by Avalanche
Lost a Bag of Beans
My Crowbar
Is Cameel Okay?
I Have Eyes?
Don't Seem That Violent
Tough Tips? Terrible Tips?
Keep This Party Rolling?
Ton of Kale
I've Done My Part
I Feel a Disturbance in the Dirt
A Door or Devastating Trap
Secret Door or Death
I Speak the Opposite, Giant
There Be Precious Metals Beyond
Bull is Basically Useless
Cameel is Basically A Member of the Party, Like Alena
Tork has 30 Feet of Hindsight
Hindsight, You Can See Butts for 30 Feet
Tank the Damage
Oxen Can't Go Down Stairs
Cameel Can Do Stairs
Magic Camel Shoes
We've Already Got Plenty of Treasure, We Can Just Go Down
Tork: 50% Beef
Upside Down Corpse: St. Peter?
Pocket Check: Not Just for Loot, Sometimes There are Clues
They Had Blood in Their Pockets
What Kind of Question is That? If I Can Read? Come On?
If I Die, I Will Kill You
You're Looking at an Ass Right Now
That Always Works in the Books
Ewww, That's Already Bloody
Dead? I Don't Volunteer
Kill Me Temporarily: I Consent
Anyone Want to Do Anything To Him?
You Can Do ANYTHING To Him
We Could Kill Someone
It's a Trap
Just Like Birth
They're Pets
This is a Health Inspection
We Should Take Care of Them
You Are A Morally Gray Lot
Atticus Slowly Slides His Gun Back Into His Vest
Halflings, Closer to a Person
This Is Why I Don't Free Non-People
Taking Some Minotaur Balls
Genocide Might Be the Answer
Maybe You Should Be Nicer to Me
- Atticus is Sus Because He Took a Piss One Time and Almost Killed a Frog Man
Until My Next Fireball
The party then recapped Atticus' latest attrocities with the frog people and a rousing discussion on canabalism, morality, and frogs ensued. Eventually a stalemate was called and the party rested for the evening. The next morning (Caldra 9) the party parted ways with the Glass Half Full who were going the opposite direction and Alena Birch skillfully lead the party through the woods once more. In the afternoon they came across a grotesque assortment of bodies positioned in unnatural angles to form a raven when viewed from above. Rodan Spice found more money for the pizza party fund on them as well as notes stuffed in pockets and mouths (no anuses) saying:
"These woods are the property of the Raven. Leave or join them".
That evening the party made camp and Rodan Spice took a massive pull from his wine bottle before declaring he was too drunk for watch and passed out. Upset at Rodan Spice never taking watch, Alena Birch swiped his bottle of Everwine while asleep and watches that evening passed uneventfully. The next day (Caldra 10) when everyone awoke, Rodan Spice began searching for what happened to his wine and eventually Muninn relayed to Atticus that Alena Birch had taken it in the night. When pressed Alena Birch confessed but refused to return it until Rodan Spice took a watch that evening. Some tension ensued but ultimately the party broke camp and headed on their way for the day through the forest once again. Alena Birch led the party without issue and the trees began thinning out as the entered the hills at the base of World Spine. The party made camp for the evening and Rodan Spice appeared to take first watch while Tork took second watch. However, unbeknowst to all of the party except Atticus and Rodan Spice, Atticus created an illusion of Rodan Spice taking watch while giving Rodan Spice a bottle of wine and sending him to bed. When "Rodan's" shift was up, Tork was awakened by Muninn at Atticus' command. The next morning (Caldra 11) with none of the party aware, Rodan Spice and Alena Birch's rift was mended, Rodan Spice went back to being an alcoholic, and Alena Birch led them up into the World Spine and towards the Pass of Akzott.
As the day went on, the temperature dropped to more of an autumnal range as the elevation increased. Mid-morning they came across a carved archway of a dark gray stone marbled with white veins. It was smoothed from generations of weather and covered in lichen while an unknown script lined the top of it which Atticus translated for the group as "The Pass of Antormis". Alena Birch and Atticus were aware this was the God of the Dead. After some discussion, Atticus (with Muninn), Alena Birch, Tork (with Bull and Cart in tow), and Rodan Spice with Cameel walked through the gateway. Kale and Wren went around the side of it and Wren noticed in the general direction they were traveling, about three miles ahead, a similar archway. Upon reaching this archway, Atticus translated it as "Walk This Way", but when pressed gave the full translation of "Walk This Way With The Dead". The party continued following these ancient archways (non-magical from a check via Alena Birch). In all the archways said the following:
The Pass of Antormis
Walk This Way With The Dead
Pass Them Through to New Life
But Beware Horned Rage
Rage Directed at Kin
Will Bar This Realm
Cursed Instead
Until Blood Is New
At the final archway and as dusk was fast approaching, the party found themselves on a cliff face that dropped off several hundred feet. Rodan Spice threw a worthless copper through to test that there wasn't an invsible bridge and eventually the party decided to take the carved switchback path to the bottom of the ravine (the beginning of the Pass of Akzott). At the bottom Kale found Rodan Spice's copper piece along with a large amount of dried blood. He surmised either sacrafice or suicide from the archway above was to blame. With this realization, the party made camp for the night and Atticus took both shifts of watch. On the second shift, with the help of Muninn, Atticus spotted minotaur tracks on the ground leading deeper into the pass. The next morning, the party broke camp and headed into the valley. Upon discovering an orange tunic, Tork and Atticus engaged in a loud conversation that may or may not have triggered an avalanche. Nonetheless, an avalanche did ensue which swept the party down the pass. A combination of failures and successes on various attempts to stay safe kept the party from sustaining much damage, but did cause them to each lose an item. Most were inconsequental except for Alena Birch's loss of a bag of magical beans.
Having transformed into large birds during the avalanche, Wren and Tork headed up high in the sky with Muninn to get a good look at where the pass was going. Seeing a half-days travel remaining, they went back to the party and treked up to a plateau later in the afternoon that was covered with a light snow. Alena Birch was able to find small splatters of blood in the snow along with some tracks lead towards the largest mountain in The Violent Tips. Nearing dusk and having climed roughly a third of the way up the mountain, the party found themselves facing a small cave not visible from the ground. Blood splatters led to the back wall and Kale was able to tell from his wand of secrets that there was a secret door (or a trap) on the back wall. Rodan Spice was skillfully able to determine where a stalagmite that needed to be pulled was located. Upon doing so, a deep rumbling sounded and two 5'x10' doors made of 2 feet thick stone opened. A threshold of dwarvish runes illuminated almost bioluminously revealing the words "Gewalt Consilo" in dwarvish, which Atticus relayed to the rest of the party. Rodan Spice told them how growing up he had read about the Gewalt Consilo and relayed all the information about them he remembered.
With this, the party delved into the interior and with both "Bull" the Oxen and Cameel, they headed into the ancient city of Gewalt Consilo. As they crossed the threshold, the door rumbled shut behind them, leaving the only light that remained eminating from Wren's staff. The started out by heading through a corridor for several hundred feet lined with intricately carved pillars that were in front of rough hewn walls. At the end of the hallway they came to a staircase. The case on the right went up while that on the left went down and had spatters of blood on it as well. Atticus sent Muninn a hundred feet up the right stairwell, and finding only more stairs, the party decided to head down. They left "Bull" the Oxen and cart behind while Cameel accompanied them. After the first two platforms where the stairs changed directions, the party began discovering bodies. Upside down and spread eagle, each body had its eyelids removed and had a pool of coagulated blood beneath it. Some Wren recognized as druids while others were just unknown beings.
After nearly two dozen of these bodies, the party discovered an archway that featured a large stone slab. The slab had a relief carved into it of a skull with flowers growing out of one eye socket while fungi and mushrooms emerged from the mouth. Alena Birch and Atticus recognized this as the symbol of Antormis and Atticus recognized this as a seal that is commonly found on tombs, graves, and catacombs (though he did not share this information with the party until much later). The party tried to find a way through, checking for magic, checking for traps, trying to use blood, trying to use someone acting dead, considering actually killing someone, and much more. Eventually, they checked and realized the blood trail did not end at the door, but continued down further. After another landing or two with bodies, they arrived at a metal gate blocking their path and a lock that was facing the other side. A loud knock eminated from it as they approached and they determined a failed attempt to unlock it would cause a spring to be released on the other side. Rodan Spice picked the lock which was open by the time he was trying it but did not convey this to the party. With that they continued on and heard the gate shut behind them.
The next landing on which the party descended was a kitchen of sorts. A stone door opened to a large room filled with stone tables, large ovens, and piles of food. Inside 3 goblins and 4 halflings wore tatters of clothing and were chained via large links to a central pillar while they went about cooking. They looked fearfully at the party and began answering some of their questions. Overall they told that below them were sleeping quarters, commons, and finally the actual city ruins although the purple minotaurs did not often go there. They further informed them 20 lived here and they were unsure how many were currently present. The kitchen staff informed them they were unkillable and rebutted the party's killing of them by asking if they stayed dead. When the party attempted to free them, they refused and eventually one relocked their bindings which Rodan Spice had undone, even as they did not know if their family was truly safe by their actions. With this the party descended another level. They came to a long hallway with 15 rooms on one side and 15 on the other. Most had lavish goods like jeweled bowls and gold along with fine cloths, but one did have a purple minotaurs body and head at different places in the room. The rest of the rooms were empty, and in the hallway were two gutted half elves sitting in their own bowels and chains. Without being able to do anything else, the party descended further.
They opened the next door and found themselves in a room that mixed oppulence with horror. Intricate rugs, massive tapestries (now scrawled over with puple ravens), and hewn thrones covered in velvet occupy the sides of the room. Piles of gold were scattered in chests around each throne as were crowns and tiaras and other loot. There were two creatures chained by collars around their necks to each of the thrones, most lying down on the ground in piles of exhaustion though some which looked fearfully at the newcomers. In the center of the room was a large rectangular pit (80-100 feet by 40-50 feet). It contained an iron cage, chains suspending bodies off the ground, stone tables covered in blood and gore, and a mix of rusty and blackened weapons. It was depressed 20 feet down and a single ladder lead down from door side of the room, while a rough circular opening appeared opposite of the door.
Also in the pit was a bruised and bloody orange tiefling suspended by his arms while dried blood covers his body and wounds with his head lolling on his chest. He was accompanied by three elves with twigs and leaves woven in their hair and root patterns tattooed on their upper arms. Another elf was strapped to a stone table, missing a leg in a bloody stub of rolled up pants. Upon this sight, Tork took off towards the ladder into the pit when a stone depressed under his foot. A clanking sounded as rapidly metal gates closed across the top of the pit. 6 purple minotaurs rushed out of the circular hole opposite of the party as the door swung shut behind them. Just as the last purple minotaur was emerging, Atticus swung his finger around towards them, a small bead of light formed just a centimeter off the tip, and then launched as if on a string before a massive orb of orange and yellow errupted from the hole through which they were pouring...
The next session begins in the last hours of the day on Caldra 12, 2597 right above the ruins of the ancient city of the Gewalt Consilo. A fight is starting, and potentially finishing with the Raven Tribe.
Rejected Session Names:
Report Date
18 May 2023
Primary Location
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