Session 21: I'll Get On My Hands and Knees
General Summary
This session began in the morning in Real Del after a full night's sleep. Without any of Alena Birch's alarm spells being triggered, there was a table full of pastries, scones, assorted fruits, hot brewed drink, and more. The party ate breakfast and then with Cameel and "Bull" the ox (as well as cart), went into the hallway with Del. They followed him to a circular room with intricate arcane symbols on the ground where he transported them back to their plane and directly to the destination of "the library".
Del said his goodbyes and to contact him on the Etch 'n Sketch of interdimensional communication when they were done. With that he left and the party was alone in an evergreen forest that was eerily silent and absent of small life. Wren recognized it as a different place than she had been, but still the makeup of her home forest. Alena Birch recognized it as the forest West of her home forest. With this the party approached the hill pointed out to them by Del and found a rickety wooden door with a faded sign affixed on it:
The party was unperturbed by the warning and decided to commence their way in. A small earthen tunnel full of roots required most of the party to stoop or crawl the 100' into a dug out room. Within they found a single round table and chair, some assorted wooden dishes, a bookshelf with four books that have returned to soil in front of it, a torn quilt over what might have once been hay, and chest at the foot of the quilt. Rodan Spice immediately went to work on the chest and opened it with ease. However, as he flung it open, Wren who was examining the dishes was shot with a poison dart that nearly took her to her knees. Between a health potion from Rodan Spice and some healing from Alena Birch she was nearly back to her normal self. Further investigation did not reveal much, but upon Kale's usage of his wand of secrets some creative forcing of Rodan Spice's head into the chest, a false bottom was revealed (after Rodan Spice had contributed the gold in the chest to the pizza party fund and donned the brown sweater that were in the chest). Rodan Spice used his rapier for the first time in like two entire months and and destroyed the bottom of the chest to find a handle. Atticus had everyone gather on the other side of the room and used mage hand to turn the handle. Doing so phased a cold pillar made of jet black and smooth unnatural stone appear in the center of the room.
Working with the pillar, Atticus followed his knowledge and used some of his own blood to reveal characters on the pillar after a pulse of orange:
Atticus and Wren both immediately determined this meant knowledge but took longer before realizing they had to "embrace" the pillar while saying knowledge. Hesitantly the party followed Atticus's lead and vanishes with orange pulses as well.
The party then found themselves in a nearly identical dugout room, but devoid of the furniture and the pathway they had entered through. instead, opposite of where their entrance was supposed to be, was an archway of the same jet black stone with a nearly transparent barrier and featuring the following words:
Atticus simply walked through the barrier while Rodan Spice let go of all his light making items and then walked through. Tork attempted to do so and was shocked (twice) as was Alena Birch when she attempted to do so. Kale walked through the barrier without issue and Wren was shocked. Rodan Spice then went back through the barrier and back through again (tossing his sweater as a test and retrieving it along with his light making supplies). At this point Atticus dispelled the arches magic and allowed the entire party to pass.
At this point, the party found themselves in a slowly expanding hallway. Over the course of a mile, while still lined with the jet-black smooth yet unnatural stones, it went from a 5'x5' tunnel to a 20'x20' tunnel. Every 25', the party also passed an unlit pair of wall sconces where a skeletal hand held aloft a metal torch. The air was frigid and the only sound was the clack of their boots on the stone and the jostling of their metallic items (other than the time Rodan Spice writhed around on the ground and screamed because he thought things were crawling on him). Wren pulled a Gandalf and cast light on her staff as she led the party. When the tunnel ended, their breaths were visible in the air of the large rectangular room they entered. On their left was a massive fireplace, 20' long and 10' tall with a cream colored mantle and emerald flames within. At the end of the hall is a 10'x10' steel door that had a massive "X" of steel cross beams on its face - it featured two keyholes on opposite sides, one that is simply a right angle while the other is like three circles (a Venn diagram shape). It also featured an inscription on each side, starting at the top "Wisdom", "Immortality", "Power", "Knowledge".
Upon examination, Alena Birch noticed an inscription on the fireplace:
She also noted that the fire was giving off no warmth or heat, only light. Atticus confidently strode into it and the rest of the party followed as they disappeared ahead. This led them to the scene of utter pandemonium. What was once a laboratory of sorts was then a magical firestorm. A room that was continually causing its own ruin. They saw fireballs beginning and expanding before restarting once again at the tip of a black hooded figure. They saw elven and human and half-orcs crying in pain as they bleed out only to die and have the cycle begin once again. There were test tubes continually expanding with foam before sucking it back in and repeating like pistons. There were glass orbs shattering into skeletons as they both shatter into dust and glass shards only to reform once again. In the center of the room is a an hourglass that has a crack through which sand is eternally escaping but falling back into its top. Overturned tables, workbenches, chairs, bookshelves, cauldrons, and more liter the space. Upon entering, the party saw the repeating creatures gazes fall upon them as they spotted across the room a large fireplace like the one through which they came but without any flames.
After crossing the room successfully, Alena Birch finds the words over this fireplace read:
Alena Birch eventually finds a scrap of paper on the panel scrawled with the words:
Atticus relieved a half-orc he had previously tripped onto that had begged for release of his life by sequestering away his blood into a cauldron. Alena Birch found copper powder near some test tubes and mixing them together in the fireplace emerald flames grew once again.
After they all traversed the fireplace, they found themselves in a crypt or mausoleum without light (save Wren's staff) where each of the niches was empty. Stretching up more than 10 rows high, the niches were carved into jet black stone, however the niches were all had their front plates cracked, broken, and lying as rubble on the ground while the niches themselves were empty. Atticus was able to recreate a symbol that appeared to be on the front plates of these niches, a skull with a circle on the forehead segmented into four equal parts. The party then traversed down away from the fireplace where they encountered a small figure sitting on the ground facing away from them. They told the party they must answer its questions to pass. Should they get them wrong they would join the dead. The questions were as follows:
The party collectively answered the first question no. On the second question, Rodan Spice answered he was afraid most of being poor. While the entity didn't believe him, it was unable to move him as he strongly believed it was true. Atticus mentally told the creature his fear. Alena Birch told the creature she was afraid of failing her family and village and not avenging her father. Tork told the creature he was most afraid of failing in his quest and his family. Wren said she was most afraid of failing her father. Due to a slowness of willingness to reply, Kale was sealed inside a niche where he started to take a nap (or was it the oxygen deprivation...?). For the third question the party quickly answered with Shadow and Kale was released. Another fireplace illuminated 100' ahead of them and the entity was gone as if they had blinked. They continued to the next fireplace which featured the inscription:
They now found they were faced with a large chasm ahead of them spanned by a rickety wood and rope bridge roughly 100' long. They could see a lit fireplace on the opposite side as well as something standing in front of it. Alena Birch began meticulously mending the bridge while Atticus sent Muninn to scout the other side. Muninn saw thousands of bodies in the chasm in various states of decay and decomposition which appeared to be writhing. Muninn then saw that in front of the fireplace was a pedestal with a scroll on it, which it promptly returned to its master. Without hesitation, Atticus read the spell aloud:
As he read the words, the sounds of slapping meat began to increase to the point of a symphony and bodies began shooting up towards the ceiling. Light emanated now from a large four segmented circled carved into the ceiling as bodies began to form a pseudo-ball. Alena Birch quickly abandoned her work and ran back to the party as the bridge was rocked by crashing corpses. At this, Atticus made either a bold move or a crazy move - honestly probably both. He ran full speed ahead onto the bridge and grabbed hold of a pair of orc legs (missing their upper half) and ascended to the symbol. As he did so, he then tried to "monkey-bar" his way across the not-fully-deceased. He was however unable to focus with all of the movement and slipped and fell. A bit of his magical reflexes shot him back up to the mass of bodies where was able to successfully traverse "monkey-bar" style to the other side of the chasm. With bravado, he calls back for the party to follow suit. Alena Birch flips him off while many in the party without dark vision saw none of his acrobatics. Wren however turned into a giant eagle and ferried the party back and forth to the other side. Atticus had already gone through when they all arrived, but they followed suit and went through the fireplace that featured on its mantle:
The next session will begin in the last hour of the night on Caldra 13, 2597 deep within this "library".My Dad Worships His Meat
I Can't Hear Colors
Not Brown Drink
I'm Going to Eat with No Regard for How It Got There
You Don't Ask For a Favor Then Poison Them
Write Customer Support About It
It's Heist Day
I Am Going to Mount Cameel
You're Quite Good at Mounting, Rodan
Does Anyone Have a Library Card?
To This Library?
Let's Just Checkout The Books and Never Bring Them Back
CHECKING THE ROLODEX OF LIBRARY CARDS
No Sound, the New Normal
I've Never Broken Into a Hill Library
I Accept Help From Non-People
Like Cameel
...or Tork
I'm Already Subject to Death in Multiple Kingdoms
Tork and I Have Both Died
Aren't We All Subject to Death Any Moment?
Are You Okay Kale?
Kale Hates Trees, Let's Unload That
Trees Are Dicks
Do You Want to Commit Genocide on Trees?
You've Doomed Us All to Death Rodan
"Tork is Here, Is Anyone Else?"
There Goes the Element of Surprise
No Traps So Far
JUST KIDDING!
I'll Get On My Hands and Knees
This Isn't For People
To Your Unhappiness
Light a "Tork"ch
I Cast Light on Tork's Head
I'll Put It on One of Tork's Horns... I Guess Just the One
These Pages Are Made From Soil
Most Paper Pages Are Made From Trees
I Flip Open the Chest
Two Chests in a Row
I Give Wren One of my Potions of Healing
You Undid A Third of the Damage, Almost
I've Never Met a Thief Who Doesn't Check for Traps
17gp and a Sweater
The Lusty Argonian Maid
I Want To Put On the Sweater
I'm Just Going to Put on the Sweater
Pizza Party Fund Can Buy All The Pizza in an Entire City
There's Something Special About this Sweater
We Should Be Very Wary of Traps Now
Tork's Trippin' Ballz
Does Tork Need Help?
I'm Investigating The Bookshelf
Shittiest Library I've Been In
Wren Moves Away From the Chest
Channel the Power of the Sweater to Convince the Chest I'm a Librarian
Atticus Tries to Shove Rodan Into the Chest
Get In There Rodan
What Do Your Thief Eyes See
I've Never Used my Rapier Before (Session 21)
We're Going to Go to the Far Corner of the Room and Use Mage Hand to Activate It
You've Made the Bookshelf Uncomfortable
At Least the Bookshelf is of Age
That's Daunting
Fog Walls Are Not Good Things to Go Through
Tork Missed Catching Fog
Token' It Up DM
Tork Isn't Going to Go Touch it
This Was Your Ideas, and You're Going to Touch It
No one is Asking for Your Consent
Polished Turd from Asmodeus Himself
Why Can't the Hand Touch the Stone?
Wilbert the Mage Hand
Wilbert Will Shake His Hand
Don't Get Any Weird Ideas With My Hand...
Wilbert, Go Touch It
It Does Not Appear to be Able to Penetrate
It's Not Fog, It's Frost
Do We Need to Melt It?
Smash the Ice?
College, the Place I Went, My Nurturing Mother
You Have to Die Tork
Why is that What You Suggest?
Virgin Blood: You've Only Been on Like Two Dates?
That Wasn't in Your Backstory,
I'm Wounded
He's Dying: Let's Not Act Like We Don't Want That To Happen
That Sucks Like a Girl I Used to Court
Atticus is Going to Read in a Condescending Way
This is One of those Pyramid Schemes
Knowledge
Jinx! An Unbinding Vow!
Our DM Likes to Make It Hard
Embrace It
Tork Tried to Embrace the Bookshelf
Who In the Hell Said That?
I Told You to Embrace It
I'm Not Touching the Rock
I'm Not the Voice in Your Head Today
I'll Do Anything for Knowledge
I'll Take the Money and the Power
Okay, Guess We Can Leave Now
I'm Going to Do Exactly What He Did, But While Thinking About Money and Power
Now They're All Dead
Does Tork Hug the Rock and Say the Word
"Say the Word"
We're All Going on an Adventure or All Going to Die
Tork Does Not Reply
Whisper Sensually to It
Do We Just Go Back to the Animals Outside?
This Is Not What I Came Here to Do
There Are No Animals Here,
We're In A Fucking Hill
I'll Hug the Fucking Rock
This Library Sucks
I Go Bleed on It
Mustn't Get Greedy With Blood
Everybody Touch It
Kill Kale Because He Has a Shadow Thingy
Need to Get Rid of my Tinderbox, Torch, Oil
Consent is Key
This is Quite Entertaining to Watch
Unlimited Wine, Have as Much as You Want
It's Not Going to Kill You
Look's Painful
Would I Ever Lead You Astray? (Everyone: Yes)
My Only Theory is You Can Only Make It Through if You Are a Piece of Shit
I'll Pull Out a Torch
You Walk Through the Barrier
I Take Off the Sweater and Throw It Through the Barrier
Sweater of Walking Through Barriers
Kale's Not That Big a Piece of Shit Yet
Atticus Is Attracted to Men
The God's Gave Me Man and Woman, Why Should I Choose?
At This Point It's My Curiosity
Good Luck Finding Out
Enter Through My Archway Tork, I Consent
Are You Ready to Do What It Takes to Pass Through the Archway and Kill All the Gods?
*Sorry Alena*
Time to Commit Tax Fraud
Wren Has Been a Totally Good Girl
I'm Sorry Brady
What Is Your Race?
Human, Human, Green Person
Stick Your Finger Through, It Goes Through
Archway Quivers In Its Boots
Librarian Sweater Keeps You Warm
WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!
Coherent Screams
This Place is Cursed
Weird Scones
I Could Really Go for A Scone Right Now...
Do The Thing
Bonfire!
Gandalf Wren
It's a Rectangle, My Least Favorite Shape
Let the Wand Do That Rodan
Everybody Touch Everything
Tites To the Ceiling
"Wisdom", "Immortality", "Power", "Knowledge": I Want All of That
Dibs on the Immortality, You Get the Power
Emerald Flames, Its Flue Powder, Gotta Walk Into It
My God, Why Does He Keep Doing This
A Lot of Our Problems Would be Solved
Nothing Bad Has Ever Come From Conjuration
I Conjure Bitches All The Time
The Department of Mysteries
It Always Starts with the Tip
Compoundly
Okay, I Have a Crazy Idea
Get A Hold Of Yourself
I'm Not Casting Dispel Magic Again
You Can All Hear Me Right
We Lost Rodan Again Damnit
Fireball Man
You're Going to Fireball?
Damn, That Was Supposed to Last for a Minute
Making My Way to the Fireplace
Rodan Rides Your Coattails Once Again
Enough Blood to be Fatal... Do You Have a Bucket?
Orcs Are Inherently Not Innocents: Original Sin Situation
Blood From an Orc, Never a Problem with That
Good News, I Have a Cauldron of Blood
Mrs. Jenkins Would Be Thrilled with It
I'm Going to Throw the Entire Cauldron of Blood
In for a Penny, In for a Pound
I Search For Words
Tic-Tac-Toe Anybody?
No Wells in Your Field of Vision
I Think There's a Non-Person Ahead Sitting on the Floor
My Handaxe Helps Me See Better
Being Poor
Rodan Doesn't Seem to Think He Is Lying
Daddy Issues
God That's Boring
Finally Some Good Sleep
Shitting Myself
Failing My Family
Failing Family
Mind Speaker
Brain Damaging Kale
I've Tested the Limits of What My Brain Can Take
Some Dumbass Riddle
Goddamn It I had a Riddle for It
What's In My Pocket
After Atticus, Not Before
Looks Like a Bridge to Me
Just Run Through Really Quickly
I Stole an Engineering Textbook Once, Sold It Immediately
No, He is Going to Walk
Absolutely No Depth Perception - He's One Eyed
Writhing
Depth Perception-less Raven
It's Kind of Catchy
Lego My Ego
Terminal Velocity
I Have a Crazy Idea
Atticus Does a Classy Version of "Hey Y'all, Watch This"
Misty Steppin' Over That Mistake
Swinging From Some Legs
I'm Just Going to Wave
"Just Do That"
Alena Flips Atticus Off
I Hate to Leave Rodan and Kale Like This
I Guess The Giant Eagles Can Fly Us to Mount Doom...
Fly Bodies
Who Would Not Read Something That Looked Like Latin?
Oh, You All Made It Through
I Did What You Did
Backflip on the Way Down
The Best Ending
Tork Needs to Stop Being a Good Girl (Wren and Alena too)
Del said his goodbyes and to contact him on the Etch 'n Sketch of interdimensional communication when they were done. With that he left and the party was alone in an evergreen forest that was eerily silent and absent of small life. Wren recognized it as a different place than she had been, but still the makeup of her home forest. Alena Birch recognized it as the forest West of her home forest. With this the party approached the hill pointed out to them by Del and found a rickety wooden door with a faded sign affixed on it:
By order of the Knights of Rodanis, any who enter will be subject to death. Let evil rot in its undeath.
The party was unperturbed by the warning and decided to commence their way in. A small earthen tunnel full of roots required most of the party to stoop or crawl the 100' into a dug out room. Within they found a single round table and chair, some assorted wooden dishes, a bookshelf with four books that have returned to soil in front of it, a torn quilt over what might have once been hay, and chest at the foot of the quilt. Rodan Spice immediately went to work on the chest and opened it with ease. However, as he flung it open, Wren who was examining the dishes was shot with a poison dart that nearly took her to her knees. Between a health potion from Rodan Spice and some healing from Alena Birch she was nearly back to her normal self. Further investigation did not reveal much, but upon Kale's usage of his wand of secrets some creative forcing of Rodan Spice's head into the chest, a false bottom was revealed (after Rodan Spice had contributed the gold in the chest to the pizza party fund and donned the brown sweater that were in the chest). Rodan Spice used his rapier for the first time in like two entire months and and destroyed the bottom of the chest to find a handle. Atticus had everyone gather on the other side of the room and used mage hand to turn the handle. Doing so phased a cold pillar made of jet black and smooth unnatural stone appear in the center of the room.
Working with the pillar, Atticus followed his knowledge and used some of his own blood to reveal characters on the pillar after a pulse of orange:
Legacy, Memory, Money, Power, Love. Fool's Gold. I am the only true prize. Embrace the possibility of me as you say my name.
Atticus and Wren both immediately determined this meant knowledge but took longer before realizing they had to "embrace" the pillar while saying knowledge. Hesitantly the party followed Atticus's lead and vanishes with orange pulses as well.
The party then found themselves in a nearly identical dugout room, but devoid of the furniture and the pathway they had entered through. instead, opposite of where their entrance was supposed to be, was an archway of the same jet black stone with a nearly transparent barrier and featuring the following words:
Shadows are not only cast by the sun. None may enter who possess means to cast shadows.
Atticus simply walked through the barrier while Rodan Spice let go of all his light making items and then walked through. Tork attempted to do so and was shocked (twice) as was Alena Birch when she attempted to do so. Kale walked through the barrier without issue and Wren was shocked. Rodan Spice then went back through the barrier and back through again (tossing his sweater as a test and retrieving it along with his light making supplies). At this point Atticus dispelled the arches magic and allowed the entire party to pass.
At this point, the party found themselves in a slowly expanding hallway. Over the course of a mile, while still lined with the jet-black smooth yet unnatural stones, it went from a 5'x5' tunnel to a 20'x20' tunnel. Every 25', the party also passed an unlit pair of wall sconces where a skeletal hand held aloft a metal torch. The air was frigid and the only sound was the clack of their boots on the stone and the jostling of their metallic items (other than the time Rodan Spice writhed around on the ground and screamed because he thought things were crawling on him). Wren pulled a Gandalf and cast light on her staff as she led the party. When the tunnel ended, their breaths were visible in the air of the large rectangular room they entered. On their left was a massive fireplace, 20' long and 10' tall with a cream colored mantle and emerald flames within. At the end of the hall is a 10'x10' steel door that had a massive "X" of steel cross beams on its face - it featured two keyholes on opposite sides, one that is simply a right angle while the other is like three circles (a Venn diagram shape). It also featured an inscription on each side, starting at the top "Wisdom", "Immortality", "Power", "Knowledge".
Upon examination, Alena Birch noticed an inscription on the fireplace:
"Wisdom for the Sake of Immortality"
She also noted that the fire was giving off no warmth or heat, only light. Atticus confidently strode into it and the rest of the party followed as they disappeared ahead. This led them to the scene of utter pandemonium. What was once a laboratory of sorts was then a magical firestorm. A room that was continually causing its own ruin. They saw fireballs beginning and expanding before restarting once again at the tip of a black hooded figure. They saw elven and human and half-orcs crying in pain as they bleed out only to die and have the cycle begin once again. There were test tubes continually expanding with foam before sucking it back in and repeating like pistons. There were glass orbs shattering into skeletons as they both shatter into dust and glass shards only to reform once again. In the center of the room is a an hourglass that has a crack through which sand is eternally escaping but falling back into its top. Overturned tables, workbenches, chairs, bookshelves, cauldrons, and more liter the space. Upon entering, the party saw the repeating creatures gazes fall upon them as they spotted across the room a large fireplace like the one through which they came but without any flames.
After crossing the room successfully, Alena Birch finds the words over this fireplace read:
Immortality for the Sake of Power
Alena Birch eventually finds a scrap of paper on the panel scrawled with the words:
To make flames in the fireplace, one must find copper dust and enough of an innocent's blood to be fatal.
Atticus relieved a half-orc he had previously tripped onto that had begged for release of his life by sequestering away his blood into a cauldron. Alena Birch found copper powder near some test tubes and mixing them together in the fireplace emerald flames grew once again.
After they all traversed the fireplace, they found themselves in a crypt or mausoleum without light (save Wren's staff) where each of the niches was empty. Stretching up more than 10 rows high, the niches were carved into jet black stone, however the niches were all had their front plates cracked, broken, and lying as rubble on the ground while the niches themselves were empty. Atticus was able to recreate a symbol that appeared to be on the front plates of these niches, a skull with a circle on the forehead segmented into four equal parts. The party then traversed down away from the fireplace where they encountered a small figure sitting on the ground facing away from them. They told the party they must answer its questions to pass. Should they get them wrong they would join the dead. The questions were as follows:
1: Are you here to kill the mistress?
2: What is your greatest fear?
3: No matter how bright the light, I always persist. What is my name?
The party collectively answered the first question no. On the second question, Rodan Spice answered he was afraid most of being poor. While the entity didn't believe him, it was unable to move him as he strongly believed it was true. Atticus mentally told the creature his fear. Alena Birch told the creature she was afraid of failing her family and village and not avenging her father. Tork told the creature he was most afraid of failing in his quest and his family. Wren said she was most afraid of failing her father. Due to a slowness of willingness to reply, Kale was sealed inside a niche where he started to take a nap (or was it the oxygen deprivation...?). For the third question the party quickly answered with Shadow and Kale was released. Another fireplace illuminated 100' ahead of them and the entity was gone as if they had blinked. They continued to the next fireplace which featured the inscription:
Power for the Sake of Knowledge
They now found they were faced with a large chasm ahead of them spanned by a rickety wood and rope bridge roughly 100' long. They could see a lit fireplace on the opposite side as well as something standing in front of it. Alena Birch began meticulously mending the bridge while Atticus sent Muninn to scout the other side. Muninn saw thousands of bodies in the chasm in various states of decay and decomposition which appeared to be writhing. Muninn then saw that in front of the fireplace was a pedestal with a scroll on it, which it promptly returned to its master. Without hesitation, Atticus read the spell aloud:
Power to Bring Knowledge: Earum partem lego dispendio quarundam dominae meae
As he read the words, the sounds of slapping meat began to increase to the point of a symphony and bodies began shooting up towards the ceiling. Light emanated now from a large four segmented circled carved into the ceiling as bodies began to form a pseudo-ball. Alena Birch quickly abandoned her work and ran back to the party as the bridge was rocked by crashing corpses. At this, Atticus made either a bold move or a crazy move - honestly probably both. He ran full speed ahead onto the bridge and grabbed hold of a pair of orc legs (missing their upper half) and ascended to the symbol. As he did so, he then tried to "monkey-bar" his way across the not-fully-deceased. He was however unable to focus with all of the movement and slipped and fell. A bit of his magical reflexes shot him back up to the mass of bodies where was able to successfully traverse "monkey-bar" style to the other side of the chasm. With bravado, he calls back for the party to follow suit. Alena Birch flips him off while many in the party without dark vision saw none of his acrobatics. Wren however turned into a giant eagle and ferried the party back and forth to the other side. Atticus had already gone through when they all arrived, but they followed suit and went through the fireplace that featured on its mantle:
Knowledge for the Sake of Wisdom
The next session will begin in the last hour of the night on Caldra 13, 2597 deep within this "library".
Rejected Session Names
Report Date
01 Jun 2023
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