Session 23: Dead Pigs Don't Fear Scalding Water
General Summary
This session begins early in the first hours of Caldra 15, 2597 in the wilds of the Rodanis Consortium deep in the ruins of a library. Following Atticus's stabbing and brief death possibly, the party got the "Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals" book from the Library of Ta'jat. Rodan Spice then got "The Art of Illusion: Mastering the Mysteries of Deception" before they decided to leave.
Atticus decided to trade his full signed works in blood (three volumes) in exchange for the Wizardry 101 book. He then named the large Stone cat "Binks" before they left with their copies of the signed works. They went to bed in the room with the chasm just outside the library before the next morning continuing onwards. Atticus started referring to himself in the third person and claiming to be an ancient deity. The party didn't think much of it and headed back outside where Tork messaged Del on the Etch 'n Sketch of Interdimensional Communication. Del was grateful for their help and gave them a free favor of helping them look for a necromancer to carry out the ritual described in the Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals Book.
Things began going sideways at this point as Rodan Spice and Kale found another guard in the back. When the rest of the party joined them, Kale turned the other guard into a weasel after Atticus failed to charm him. As the rest of the guards came into the back of the jail after Atticus' previous charm had worn off, Rodan Spice had retrieved the necromancer, a weasel-guard was thrown at the party, and with a lot of luck the party managed to escape by the skin of their teeth. The necromancer promised he had a safe place to hide and so the party followed him. The next session will begin on Caldra 15, 2597 in early afternoon in Felhelm.
People Get Too Stuck Up About Polygamy
You Know What, Let's Fuck It
You Need to Personally Mute
Spare the Dying
Could Be A He, Could Be An It
I Will Take Some of His Stuff If He's Dying
Not Sure If We're Helping Him
Need My Business Partner to Survive
Not Dead
Somebody Brought Me Back
Not Ready Yet
1.5 Times I've Died
Is That Your Kink?
I'm Not Judging (But Rodan Is)
Fuck Around and Find Out
Tork Should Take the Book
(I'm Not Taking Any Books From This Place)
I Can Drink Vials Faster Than Any Man
Put My Grandpa On His Ass Every Night
Weston the Great
We Can Drink Each Other's Grandmother's Vial
That's Why It Takes 4 Seconds Instead of 2
Essentially Aren't We Handing Out Poison in the Crowd?
It's Just Sludge
Grandma's Sludge
The Art of Illusion: Mastering the Mysteries of Deception (Magician's Guide to Party's Tricks)
Saving it for Later
Do Brownies Bring Back Vengeance?
Brownies Never Hurt
You Can't Say That
Slavery Abolished Day
Librarians of Some Sort
A Small Proposition
Recycled Souls
Valedictorian of Your Graduating Class
Sign Them in Blood
Interesting Decision...
You Still Concern Me More and More Every Single Day
I Always Have a Plan
Only One with Sentimental Value
Just Order Kale to Talk to You More
He's Not a Slave
Binks
Tell the Mistress To Write Me or Something
No Dedicated Exit
No Fire Exit
OSHA Nightmare: Semi-Public Library
I Don't Have an Anus
I've Always Disrespected My Mistresses... Privately
Come Back Next Time (I'm Never Coming Back to this Place)
Is There a Make the Bridge Come Back Spell?
I Hope the Bodies Stopped By Now
Finite Bodies
It's Not Animal Cruelty If He Comes Back
Kale Doesn't Count
Trees Are Dicks
Sky Druid?
It's All a Pyramid Scheme
"A Common Person", You Know an NPC in the World
No, the Mandarin Did Not Do Anything in Our D&D World
Low on Spell Slots and Bridges
Calling Da Eagles
Did Die a Bit
Can I Go to Sleep for 8 Hours Without Anyone Violating Me
Not Going to Go Out of My Way to Kill You
Consideration Isn't a Crime
Won't Kill You, Can't Promise I Won't Violate You
When I Said Violate, I Meant in a Sexual Way I Thought You Might Appreciate
Minotaur Isn't a Person
Group Was Formed Out of Opportunity
Not Broke Now
Wasn't My Money
I Don't Think I'm the Eldest
Kill Your Eldest Siblings
Tired and Cranky From Being Dead
Spirit Animal Doesn't Count in the Morning Conversation
Not Animal
Communication Doesn't Decide Anything - We Can Communicate With Tork But That Doesn't Make Him a Person
I Wonder How Tork's Cousin Bull in Doing Right Now
Tork Sleeping on the Watch
Better Not Be a "Been Down There Three Years" Situation
Etch 'N Sketch
I Forgot What It Felt Like to Breathe Fresh Air in a Fresh Body
Time Moves Differently For Me
It's Best You Not Lie to An Ancient Deity
You Die Once and Stop Talking in the Third Person
I Crave Violence
How Much in the Pizza Party Fund?
I Would Really Like to Take a Life
Who Is a Powerful Enough Necromancer to Do This
Friends Right, Friends?
I Don't Want to Fuck With the Desert
Vampire Situation
I Vote for Felhelm
Kevin is a Prick
Giant Dick
Really Nice to My Dad
Humans Get to Decide Which Animals Get to Keep Their Testicles
Tork's Not Getting Castrated
Tork, We Need to Talk About Juneteenth
Elven Version of the N-Word
Merciful Master
Write to Your Father Rodan
Write to Daddy
Tork's Not a Good Bottom in Jail
Tork Has Eyes for One Man
What Animal Does Wren Have to Wildshape Into for You to Wildshape?
Tork has Romantic and Emotional Needs
Tork is Confused
Knew That Guy for 2-3 Days
Tork develops Emotional Attachment Quickly
Don't Judge Gender
All Children Are Fucking Nightmares
Who Hurt You
Genderless Child (Nonbinary)
Crotch Goblin
Just the N-Word for Goblins
That Is Not How I Treat the Underlings
I Don't Steal From These Worthless Little Cretins
Before My Epiphany
Don't Be Suspicious
I Haven't Committed Any Crimes
We're Solicitors and We're Here to Help With His Defense
Not Within 300 Feet of a Church
Low as an Adverb
Tork Would Like An Ale
Bygones
Plead the Fifth
Only Four Guards, We Could Just Kill Them
Technically the Necromancer Could Bring Them Back
Is It A Crime to Be A Dick?
I Crave Violence
You Die, Talk in the Third Person, Think You're An Ancient God
My Name Isn't Atticus
Tork Wants His Name to be Atticus
Goring During Oral
Archie
Get Your Shit Together, You're Being Crazy
That Felt Good
I Can't Go Into Business With a Crazy Man
My Name is Archie, Not Atticus
Tork Takes Out His Maul
Tork Puts Away His Maul
Brain Dead a Bit Too Long
If His Brain Was Dead Too Long, He Would Have Turned Into Tork
I Like Atticus' Body
Kale, You're Very Perceptive
Conversations Outside the Guard Station
Ancient Deity
Was This Consensual?
He Consented When He Touched My Blade
Won't Hold Up in Court, Trust Me
Ten Foot Step
Grab Me
Atticus, Fight!
At Least Atticus Was Rationale
That's Character Growth For Rodan Spice
Shooting His Knee
Not Combat, Just Shooting An Arrow At His Knee
Not Trying for a Fair Fight Here
I Get You Like That Body
That Was a Warning Shot
Tork's Picking Up Trash In the Road
Works, But Legit Dead
NATURAL 20 DISPEL MAGIC
Do We Kill Him
How Many Times Is He Going to Die Today
Thank You Brady
Happy New Year!
Are You or Are You Not An Ancient God
Munin's Not An Animal
Useless Sword, Artifact Junk
Reverse Psychology
Burn the Sword
New Body
What Counts?
You've Been Possessed by A Demon God
Voice In My Head
Saved You Two Days in a Row Now
Did Not Consent
We Need to Break a Necromancer Out of Jail
Visiting Hours at the Jail
Kale's Never Been in Prison Before... Allegedly
Rodan and Kale Go Back Into the Jail
I'm Not a People Person
I'm Going to Open Up All the Rest of the Cells
Wren, Alena, Tork, I've Got to Take a Piss, Let's Go
Everybody Has Seen Me Piss at Least Once
Hey Sir...
Everything Is Falling Apart, I'm Stabbing This Guy in the Back
Well That's Not How You Get out of Here...
We're Not Leaving...
They're Back There
Rodan Come Back Here
Yes, No, Yes, Yes, Alright
Weasel Thrown At Terminal Velocity
We Need This Necromancer for Business Purposes
Drag a Kid to the Grocery Store
Never Screw Up My Attempts to be a Lawyer
Atticus decided to trade his full signed works in blood (three volumes) in exchange for the Wizardry 101 book. He then named the large Stone cat "Binks" before they left with their copies of the signed works. They went to bed in the room with the chasm just outside the library before the next morning continuing onwards. Atticus started referring to himself in the third person and claiming to be an ancient deity. The party didn't think much of it and headed back outside where Tork messaged Del on the Etch 'n Sketch of Interdimensional Communication. Del was grateful for their help and gave them a free favor of helping them look for a necromancer to carry out the ritual described in the Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals Book.
Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals
As is well known, curses take hold because of blood. It is unique, it marks a being in a distinctive way that differs from any other being. A Divine Curse cannot be undone without the intervention of deity, so instead they must become someone new... or old. The Ancient Ritual of Blood Letting was first developed by the Rcan devotee (though some dispute this characterization of Rcan), Mildorpheus. After his daughter was cursed by Sandor, he decided to cleanse her himself. He slit his wife's throat in the night and then laid his daughter next to her still warm body in the bed. He then used an incantation and 5 bars of gold in combination with his own prowess in the dark arts to siphon the blood of his beloved into his daughter while her blood replaced that of the mother. Over the course of an hour of painstaking work, the curse was transferred to the corpse, and new life flowed through the daughter. Following this success, other necromancers have completed the same ritual, many noting that any recently dead corpse will do... though there are of course side effects... But we all know Mildorpheus' story and so we shall not fill these precious pages with such well known information in our dark circles. Incantation: Zrar phij 'alum 'parki 'zjed 'forsna 'ieus 'zrarFollowing this they decided between the weird happenings with life and death in the Doresak Desert and Felhelm that Felhelm was better than more sand. When they arrived, Del told them to watch out for Atticus and headed out. Rodan Spice then paid a nonbinary child to take them to the jail where they went inside. After a number of different approaches including threats and deception, they went back outside. Here a standoff occurred between Atticus and Rodan Spice (as well as the rest of the party) before Rodan Spice tried to shoot Atticus with an arrow. At this point Atticus identified himself as Archie, and said he had no intent to give back Atticus' body. He was happy with it and it was his now. He also told them he desired their violence. With a full fight imminent Wren decided to plant herself firmly in the soil and become one with the world to dispel a curse affecting Atticus and making him Archie. With this, Atticus crumpled into a pile for about 30 seconds and didn't show any signs of life as the rest of the party gathered over him. When he came back to (with his sword removed by the party and given to a random passer-by by Tork), he was back to his old self. They went back into the jail and Atticus charmed the guards so they could get the necromancer.
Things began going sideways at this point as Rodan Spice and Kale found another guard in the back. When the rest of the party joined them, Kale turned the other guard into a weasel after Atticus failed to charm him. As the rest of the guards came into the back of the jail after Atticus' previous charm had worn off, Rodan Spice had retrieved the necromancer, a weasel-guard was thrown at the party, and with a lot of luck the party managed to escape by the skin of their teeth. The necromancer promised he had a safe place to hide and so the party followed him. The next session will begin on Caldra 15, 2597 in early afternoon in Felhelm.
Rejected Session Names
Report Date
15 Jun 2023
Primary Location
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