Session 23: Dead Pigs Don't Fear Scalding Water

General Summary

This session begins early in the first hours of Caldra 15, 2597 in the wilds of the Rodanis Consortium deep in the ruins of a library. Following Atticus's stabbing and brief death possibly, the party got the "Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals" book from the Library of Ta'jat. Rodan Spice then got "The Art of Illusion: Mastering the Mysteries of Deception" before they decided to leave.
Atticus decided to trade his full signed works in blood (three volumes) in exchange for the Wizardry 101 book. He then named the large Stone cat "Binks" before they left with their copies of the signed works. They went to bed in the room with the chasm just outside the library before the next morning continuing onwards. Atticus started referring to himself in the third person and claiming to be an ancient deity. The party didn't think much of it and headed back outside where Tork messaged Del on the Etch 'n Sketch of Interdimensional Communication. Del was grateful for their help and gave them a free favor of helping them look for a necromancer to carry out the ritual described in the Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals Book.
 

Dark Arts and Forbidden Rituals

As is well known, curses take hold because of blood. It is unique, it marks a being in a distinctive way that differs from any other being. A Divine Curse cannot be undone without the intervention of deity, so instead they must become someone new... or old. The Ancient Ritual of Blood Letting was first developed by the Rcan devotee (though some dispute this characterization of Rcan), Mildorpheus. After his daughter was cursed by Sandor, he decided to cleanse her himself. He slit his wife's throat in the night and then laid his daughter next to her still warm body in the bed. He then used an incantation and 5 bars of gold in combination with his own prowess in the dark arts to siphon the blood of his beloved into his daughter while her blood replaced that of the mother. Over the course of an hour of painstaking work, the curse was transferred to the corpse, and new life flowed through the daughter. Following this success, other necromancers have completed the same ritual, many noting that any recently dead corpse will do... though there are of course side effects... But we all know Mildorpheus' story and so we shall not fill these precious pages with such well known information in our dark circles.   Incantation: Zrar phij 'alum 'parki 'zjed 'forsna 'ieus 'zrar
  Following this they decided between the weird happenings with life and death in the Doresak Desert and Felhelm that Felhelm was better than more sand. When they arrived, Del told them to watch out for Atticus and headed out. Rodan Spice then paid a nonbinary child to take them to the jail where they went inside. After a number of different approaches including threats and deception, they went back outside. Here a standoff occurred between Atticus and Rodan Spice (as well as the rest of the party) before Rodan Spice tried to shoot Atticus with an arrow. At this point Atticus identified himself as Archie, and said he had no intent to give back Atticus' body. He was happy with it and it was his now. He also told them he desired their violence. With a full fight imminent Wren decided to plant herself firmly in the soil and become one with the world to dispel a curse affecting Atticus and making him Archie. With this, Atticus crumpled into a pile for about 30 seconds and didn't show any signs of life as the rest of the party gathered over him. When he came back to (with his sword removed by the party and given to a random passer-by by Tork), he was back to his old self. They went back into the jail and Atticus charmed the guards so they could get the necromancer.
  Things began going sideways at this point as Rodan Spice and Kale found another guard in the back. When the rest of the party joined them, Kale turned the other guard into a weasel after Atticus failed to charm him. As the rest of the guards came into the back of the jail after Atticus' previous charm had worn off, Rodan Spice had retrieved the necromancer, a weasel-guard was thrown at the party, and with a lot of luck the party managed to escape by the skin of their teeth. The necromancer promised he had a safe place to hide and so the party followed him. The next session will begin on Caldra 15, 2597 in early afternoon in Felhelm.
 

Rejected Session Names

  • People Get Too Stuck Up About Polygamy
  • You Know What, Let's Fuck It
  • You Need to Personally Mute
  • Spare the Dying
  • Could Be A He, Could Be An It
  • I Will Take Some of His Stuff If He's Dying
  • Not Sure If We're Helping Him
  • Need My Business Partner to Survive
  • Not Dead
  • Somebody Brought Me Back
  • Not Ready Yet
  • 1.5 Times I've Died
  • Is That Your Kink?
  • I'm Not Judging (But Rodan Is)
  • Fuck Around and Find Out
  • Tork Should Take the Book
  • (I'm Not Taking Any Books From This Place)
  • I Can Drink Vials Faster Than Any Man
  • Put My Grandpa On His Ass Every Night
  • Weston the Great
  • We Can Drink Each Other's Grandmother's Vial
  • That's Why It Takes 4 Seconds Instead of 2
  • Essentially Aren't We Handing Out Poison in the Crowd?
  • It's Just Sludge
  • Grandma's Sludge
  • The Art of Illusion: Mastering the Mysteries of Deception (Magician's Guide to Party's Tricks)
  • Saving it for Later
  • Do Brownies Bring Back Vengeance?
  • Brownies Never Hurt
  • You Can't Say That
  • Slavery Abolished Day
  • Librarians of Some Sort
  • A Small Proposition
  • Recycled Souls
  • Valedictorian of Your Graduating Class
  • Sign Them in Blood
  • Interesting Decision...
  • You Still Concern Me More and More Every Single Day
  • I Always Have a Plan
  • Only One with Sentimental Value
  • Just Order Kale to Talk to You More
  • He's Not a Slave
  • Binks
  • Tell the Mistress To Write Me or Something
  • No Dedicated Exit
  • No Fire Exit
  • OSHA Nightmare: Semi-Public Library
  • I Don't Have an Anus
  • I've Always Disrespected My Mistresses... Privately
  • Come Back Next Time (I'm Never Coming Back to this Place)
  • Is There a Make the Bridge Come Back Spell?
  • I Hope the Bodies Stopped By Now
  • Finite Bodies
  • It's Not Animal Cruelty If He Comes Back
  • Kale Doesn't Count
  • Trees Are Dicks
  • Sky Druid?
  • It's All a Pyramid Scheme
  • "A Common Person", You Know an NPC in the World
  • No, the Mandarin Did Not Do Anything in Our D&D World
  • Low on Spell Slots and Bridges
  • Calling Da Eagles
  • Did Die a Bit
  • Can I Go to Sleep for 8 Hours Without Anyone Violating Me
  • Not Going to Go Out of My Way to Kill You
  • Consideration Isn't a Crime
  • Won't Kill You, Can't Promise I Won't Violate You
  • When I Said Violate, I Meant in a Sexual Way I Thought You Might Appreciate
  • Minotaur Isn't a Person
  • Group Was Formed Out of Opportunity
  • Not Broke Now
  • Wasn't My Money
  • I Don't Think I'm the Eldest
  • Kill Your Eldest Siblings
  • Tired and Cranky From Being Dead
  • Spirit Animal Doesn't Count in the Morning Conversation
  • Not Animal
  • Communication Doesn't Decide Anything - We Can Communicate With Tork But That Doesn't Make Him a Person
  • I Wonder How Tork's Cousin Bull in Doing Right Now
  • Tork Sleeping on the Watch
  • Better Not Be a "Been Down There Three Years" Situation
  • Etch 'N Sketch
  • I Forgot What It Felt Like to Breathe Fresh Air in a Fresh Body
  • Time Moves Differently For Me
  • It's Best You Not Lie to An Ancient Deity
  • You Die Once and Stop Talking in the Third Person
  • I Crave Violence
  • How Much in the Pizza Party Fund?
  • I Would Really Like to Take a Life
  • Who Is a Powerful Enough Necromancer to Do This
  • Friends Right, Friends?
  • I Don't Want to Fuck With the Desert
  • Vampire Situation
  • I Vote for Felhelm
  • Kevin is a Prick
  • Giant Dick
  • Really Nice to My Dad
  • Humans Get to Decide Which Animals Get to Keep Their Testicles
  • Tork's Not Getting Castrated
  • Tork, We Need to Talk About Juneteenth
  • Elven Version of the N-Word
  • Merciful Master
  • Write to Your Father Rodan
  • Write to Daddy
  • Tork's Not a Good Bottom in Jail
  • Tork Has Eyes for One Man
  • What Animal Does Wren Have to Wildshape Into for You to Wildshape?
  • Tork has Romantic and Emotional Needs
  • Tork is Confused
  • Knew That Guy for 2-3 Days
  • Tork develops Emotional Attachment Quickly
  • Don't Judge Gender
  • All Children Are Fucking Nightmares
  • Who Hurt You
  • Genderless Child (Nonbinary)
  • Crotch Goblin
  • Just the N-Word for Goblins
  • That Is Not How I Treat the Underlings
  • I Don't Steal From These Worthless Little Cretins
  • Before My Epiphany
  • Don't Be Suspicious
  • I Haven't Committed Any Crimes
  • We're Solicitors and We're Here to Help With His Defense
  • Not Within 300 Feet of a Church
  • Low as an Adverb
  • Tork Would Like An Ale
  • Bygones
  • Plead the Fifth
  • Only Four Guards, We Could Just Kill Them
  • Technically the Necromancer Could Bring Them Back
  • Is It A Crime to Be A Dick?
  • I Crave Violence
  • You Die, Talk in the Third Person, Think You're An Ancient God
  • My Name Isn't Atticus
  • Tork Wants His Name to be Atticus
  • Goring During Oral
  • Archie
  • Get Your Shit Together, You're Being Crazy
  • That Felt Good
  • I Can't Go Into Business With a Crazy Man
  • My Name is Archie, Not Atticus
  • Tork Takes Out His Maul
  • Tork Puts Away His Maul
  • Brain Dead a Bit Too Long
  • If His Brain Was Dead Too Long, He Would Have Turned Into Tork
  • I Like Atticus' Body
  • Kale, You're Very Perceptive
  • Conversations Outside the Guard Station
  • Ancient Deity
  • Was This Consensual?
  • He Consented When He Touched My Blade
  • Won't Hold Up in Court, Trust Me
  • Ten Foot Step
  • Grab Me
  • Atticus, Fight!
  • At Least Atticus Was Rationale
  • That's Character Growth For Rodan Spice
  • Shooting His Knee
  • Not Combat, Just Shooting An Arrow At His Knee
  • Not Trying for a Fair Fight Here
  • I Get You Like That Body
  • That Was a Warning Shot
  • Tork's Picking Up Trash In the Road
  • Works, But Legit Dead
  • NATURAL 20 DISPEL MAGIC
  • Do We Kill Him
  • How Many Times Is He Going to Die Today
  • Thank You Brady
  • Happy New Year!
  • Are You or Are You Not An Ancient God
  • Munin's Not An Animal
  • Useless Sword, Artifact Junk
  • Reverse Psychology
  • Burn the Sword
  • New Body
  • What Counts?
  • You've Been Possessed by A Demon God
  • Voice In My Head
  • Saved You Two Days in a Row Now
  • Did Not Consent
  • We Need to Break a Necromancer Out of Jail
  • Visiting Hours at the Jail
  • Kale's Never Been in Prison Before... Allegedly
  • Rodan and Kale Go Back Into the Jail
  • I'm Not a People Person
  • I'm Going to Open Up All the Rest of the Cells
  • Wren, Alena, Tork, I've Got to Take a Piss, Let's Go
  • Everybody Has Seen Me Piss at Least Once
  • Hey Sir...
  • Everything Is Falling Apart, I'm Stabbing This Guy in the Back
  • Well That's Not How You Get out of Here...
  • We're Not Leaving...
  • They're Back There
  • Rodan Come Back Here
  • Yes, No, Yes, Yes, Alright
  • Weasel Thrown At Terminal Velocity
  • We Need This Necromancer for Business Purposes
  • Drag a Kid to the Grocery Store
  • Never Screw Up My Attempts to be a Lawyer
  • Report Date
    15 Jun 2023
    Primary Location

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