Session 32: The Aztecs Were Butt Chuggers

General Summary

  The party began mid afternoon of BriskWind 22, 2597 in the bowels of the ziggurat in Silan with the party continuing their way through the constellation maze. Upon entering the Diamond room there was a basketball sized diamond mounted from above and below on pedestals in the center of the room. A symbol of a sun was on the wall opposite of where you entered. Wren and Rodan Spice together used light and rotations of the diamond to align the pinpoints of light with the constellation on the opposite door. Following this, Tork and Oberon both managed to break the diamond free to be contributed to the pizza party fund (estimated by Oberon to be worth over 10,000pp).
  The next room featured a small half circle platform, a 90 foot bridge, and another half circle platform on the opposite side. Five jointed scythes lined the bridge and would activate when any object or person went over them (seemingly). Tork threw a javelin across, Wren sacrificed several chipmunks to test out the bridge and Rodan Spice made several passes at it. Eventually Alena Birch helped dispel some of the glyphs along the way and the party was able to cross from one side to the other.
  The next room, Burial, featured a plethora of rows of white marble/granite mausoleums stretching out of sight. About ten back three held torches. When investigated, they were discovered to contain the name Galendor Star, Mal'ock Star, and Kale Star. Kale's tomb was empty but Galendor Star's and Mal'ock Star's were both containing their bodies, which while not breathing or moving, appeared unharmed despite the fact the tombs hadn't be disturbed for decades. Attempts were made to find any constellations on the bodies, to dispel the necromantic magic causing them to sleep, or for Kale joining in his tomb to make a difference. When nothing occurred, the party went into the next room.
  Solemnity was a small chapel. A circular room with a domed ceiling made out of simple stacked stone, there were alcoves with candles and incense burning as well as a platform in the center of the room large enough to hold a body (Kale tested it out and confirmed it did indeed work). One door led back to the catacombs and another led to the room beyond featuring the constellation Salno'k.
  In the room of Salno'k a 100' diameter hemispherical room featured intensely drawn arcane symbols on the ground that went up the walls in geometric patterns. In the center was a small bowl made of almost a cloud-like grey-white material that sounded out a clear, low, and resonating note when touched. The party attempted giving it some blood which did not cause an effect. Oberon was able to discern with assistance this was a plane shift spell, the bowl was a metal resonator, and what was needed was a power source. From some compulsion, Kale pulled out the piece of a moon he recovered in the Rootwaren Aquifer within the Nwyfre Coven, and placed it in the bowl. With this, green-blue lines flew out along the arcane symbols, the resonance of the bowl grew louder, and the group was transported beyond.
  The next location the party found themselves was in a room featuring similar plane shifting arcana, but very different décor. The party found themselves standing on the face of a clock, but different than they had seen before. Instead of featuring numbers, it featured the constellations of the nights sky. When they examined it, the hands pointed to the Bolt of Sol. The walls of the room were covered with gears that were currently unmoving, hundreds, from the size of a button to the size of a teleportation circle. The ceiling was a large pane of glass revealing empty darkness above. A single door was situated in the wall, constructed of solid brass with a large turn-style wheel in its center. Rodan Spice attempted to open it before Tork opened it with ease.
  Going through the door, they met A17, a clockwork servant. The servant said they served the Stars and would check if the party would be seen. Wit that the servant led them out of the atrium and its swirling architecture of stagnant clockwork components of steel, brass, copper, and some silvered components. A17 would lead them up a brass stairway lead the 30 feet in a spiral to whatever lay above.
  The party then went above to a landing with kitchens where other clockworks servants were working and Tork got a green apple. They were then left in a steel library and sitting room. Everything, from the shelves lining the walls, the books on the shelves, and the furniture itself were all solid steel. A17 returned shortly afterwards and said the Stars would see them. They were led up past several other landings with rooms and doors of different metals (including one with Kale's name on it). At the top of the stairs the party found themselves in a 100' diameter space filled with panels, dials, buttons, levers, switches, and more on differing levels of platforms, all beneath a 75' foot diameter orb hovering just below the ceiling roof, clear except for translucent points of light within it resembling the constellations. It is here Mal'ock Star and Galendor Star casually approached and welcomed Kale! Both had silvered threads running out of their backs and informed the party they were in the astral sea currently. They told Kale they left him because it would have been sacrificing 24,000 years in essence with how the passage of time works in the astral sea. They had more to tell him, but wanted to go down to the kitchen to talk about it over hot beverages and food, even if they didn't actually need to eat. With that, they headed below and the session ended, probably on BriskWind 22, 2597, though time moves oddly in the Astral Sea...
 

Rejected Session Names

  • Young, Supple, and Probably Tender
  • Give Us An Asshole Shot
  • Asshole Shots
  • Butt Chugging
  • A Tenderness One's Bum Might Find Inviting
  • I Want That
  • To Take The Giant Diamond...?
  • I Need to Get Another Crowbar
  • Shine Bright Like a Diamond
  • Party Like It's 2570
  • d8 or d20?
  • When Giant Gemstones are Involved, Rodan Spice Figures It Out Immediately
  • Right When I Finish
  • I'm Not Saying We Have to Do This But...
  • We Could Get This Diamond...
  • Big Addition to the Pizza Party Fund
  • Basketball Diamond, One Cannon Worth at Least
  • Only the Revival Spells Need Diamond Dust
  • Atticus Died Once, But He's Not Here
  • Rodan Would Like Tork to Smash
  • Croquet
  • We Can Buy a City With This
  • This Can Only Go Well
  • Tork Likes Peppers On His Pizza
  • Lift With Legs, Not Back
  • 52 Pound Diamond
  • Throwing Weapon for Tork?
  • 10,000 Platinum
  • Acquire Diamond Side Quest Complete
  • Farm Simulator with the Scythe
  • Rodan Loves to Sow, But Does Not Like to Reap That Which He Sows
  • Now This is More of a Dungeon
  • Trapped? Yep!
  • Not Only Pressure Triggered
  • Laying Down Decapitation
  • At Your Disposal: Willing to Dispose of Them
  • I'm Naming that One Alvin
  • Alvin Beheaded
  • Next is Simon
  • Goodbye Simon
  • Goodbye Theodore
  • Brittney Is Ham
  • Jeannette Is Gone
  • I Have Five More Chipmunks
  • Wait Tork
  • I Hope You Have a Third Character Ready
  • Rev. GOD Makes Mistakes
  • Bless Myself
  • Get Blessed
  • "Fell" Off
  • Not Atticus, Oberon
  • Invisibility Doesn't Matter
  • Did It Damage My Clothes?
  • Rodan Almost Made It
  • Don't Be Good People, That Is Bad - Atticus from Beyond
  • Hearty Broth for the Soul and Skin
  • Marginally Better
  • I Got the Power
  • Straight Up Druid
  • Dispel 4 & 5
  • Ope, See You Guys
  • That is Useless
  • I Say Please
  • ParTork
  • We Can Leave Kale Behind
  • I Feel Kale Can See Inside Me
  • UnScathed, UnScythed
  • Almost Buried Once
  • Nice and Quiet Though...
  • Devil's Lettuce
  • The Mexican Chinese Buffet
  • Isn't That Your Real Last Name...
  • I Hope My Grave Is Empty...
  • Maybe He Has To Die To Get Through Here
  • Thank God, I Thought I Already Died
  • You Should Get in There
  • Wouldn't Be My First Time in a Coffin...
  • Put the Lid On, Go About Our Business for the Rest of Our Lives
  • Free Kale
  • Could Have Died Soon After...
  • Open Their Tombs?
  • Sacrilegious No?
  • My Strength Score? Superior!
  • Oberon Giggles at Opening Your Parents Tomb
  • Mal'ock Is Wearing Things
  • Rodan Spice, Not a Tomb Raider
  • Just Asking Question
  • Necromancy...
  • Just Faking It...
  • A Lot of Ways to Make Them More Dead
  • Kale Doesn't Kiss Them On The Mouth
  • I Poke My Father
  • No Response to the Poke
  • Dad is Obviously Going to the be the One Who Knows What Is Going On
  • Cannot Dispel It
  • Kale's Parents are Not Celestial, Fiend, or Undead
  • Death Like State in the Tomb
  • Closing Up Shop...
  • Death Rest
  • Wrong Font Size Thinking
  • Mom and Dad Bodies
  • Guiding Myself
  • Stop Calling Me That
  • Same Font Type & Size
  • Dead Bodies Mapping Out a Bird
  • Hyperfocusing On The Parents
  • Get Guided!
  • Do We Need to Kill You?
  • Kale "Appreciable Girth", Firbolg
  • Let Me Know When You're Done Lying on Things
  • Split the Party
  • Requires Blood
  • We All Must Donate Blood
  • Oberon, You're a Priest, Right...
  • Sacrilegious Tendencies
  • Blood in a Bowl, Blood in a Bowl, Looking like a Fool with Your Blood In a Bowl
  • Stardust Will Return
  • Oberon says "Wink"
  • There Are No Traps In Here, I'm Rodan Spice!
  • Salno'k the Wanderer
  • So, Want to Try Blood
  • Funeral Rites
  • Plane Shift
  • How Many Natural Ones Have You Fuckers Rolled Tonight: 13
  • They Already Did It
  • Constantly Guiding Kale
  • Strange Moon Rock
  • I'll Put the Rock in the Bowl... In the Holy Blood
  • Leaving Your Plane
  • It's Locked to Me
  • Solid Brass Door
  • Locked When I Tried It
  • I Loosened It For Ya
  • A17
  • The Overall Tower
  • We Serve the Stars
  • Made Out a Lot of Meat
  • My Name is Smokahonaus
  • I Haven't Eaten in About 10 Sessions
  • No Meat Here
  • Green Apple
  • Do They Have Rockin' Bods?
  • WE Have Money in the Pizza Party Fund
  • People Have a Hard Time When They Get Abandoned At Birth
  • The Absolute Majesty III? Airship Version
  • Report Date
    31 Aug 2023

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