Session 54: Can't a Man Scry in Peace with His Pants Around His Ankles

General Summary

Meta Recap: Joint Operations LLC finds themselves on a diplomatic mission within the Gu'us Empire on behalf of King Jorip of the Fisk Empire. While very suspicious of the King and his motives after he announced the Crown's Partnering with the previously hidden Oasis Society, they accepted the mission along with the Absolute Majesty III, its crew, and Adivsor Sil'a. On their mission, they are to meet with the Elder and Court of the Gu'us Empire, secure favorable trading conditions, and eventually sign 500M GP worth of contracts for the crown throughout the Gu'us Empire. Rodan Spice has taken his father's role as Ambassador following his father's imprisonment for high crimes (namely the ordering of the genocide of the Sand Druids and the murdering of a noble family in Skormp). However, their diplomatic mission is only the tip of the iceberg. They also find themselves as the hired blade of the King, being sent to find and kill on site a mage known as Miz. When they finally caught up to her near the source of the blight affecting Wren's homeland and the surrounding areas, she was recognized as the former chief the Sand Druids, Chief Mizandil. They slew her and took her head as proof of completion of their mission, while also learning that to stop the blight affecting Wren's homeland, they must seek out the Ship of Secrets hidden beneath the waves to the West....

They found themselves once again within the market district in Foun as the sun set on DeepFrost 13, 2597. They began by discussing if killing Miz was the right call and ended up pulling out her head (during which Atticus took an ear with everyone's permission). A small dwarven child was likely traumatized by this encounter but ran away. As light was fading they made their way back to the Absolute Majesty III where they showed Advisor Sil'a the severed head and he promised to send word to King Jorip. With this they decided to do various things in the evening before turning in (parties, drinking, discussing the origins of sugar, and asking people at midnight for maps to the quartermaster).

The next morning, Atticus summoned the party to his quarters (minus Jandar who was still watching Advisor Sil'a for Tork from the previous evening) where he had magical protections in place. They had conversation around whether to reincarnate Miz and decided to ask Jandar as he had been through it before. He descirbed a realm of dreaming colors and feeling a tug, an offer to come back which he recieved. Whether this or the realization he couldn't read was more shocking aside, it was decided to bring Miz back.
When reincarnated thourgh a stored spell Atticus had, she returned as a dark elf (drow) from a pile of sand materialized into the space. Alena Birch was not able to hold her but she simply stayed and listened to the party as they all stayed within a zone of truth (Tork made a sandcastle). During the questioning of Miz, a few important bits of information were gleaned:

1. She was attempting to learn how the blight operated and bring it back to use on the land in what was formerly the Doresak Desert.
2. The Fisk Empire and The Oasis Society had salughtered the people and stolen their land.
3. She desired to avenge her people, to hurt those responsible... but the blight seemed to have driven her beyond that somehow she claimed...
   

Following these revelations, a lot of conversation centered on the morality of taking land and if the land was being used to feed the hungry or just to line the pockets of the rich. Other approaches were discussed that could have been utilized and the morality around turning nonproductive land into farmland (yet still held as sacred by the people). After this the conversation shifted to if the blight should be weaponized, how it might be used, and other possible avenues for avening the Doresak Desert. Eventually, after arriving at some conclusions, Miz and Wren spoke about how while the blight of Bloomhaven wasn't affecting everywhere, a blight was upon all druids in many forms, and they needed to be faced together. With this resolution, Miz agreed to stop trying to release the blight, to harry the Oasis Guild in other ways, and to stay in contact when needed (and come to their aid aginst the king). On their end, they promised to help her restore the land and the people as best they could when the time was right. Miz then slipped out as a spider.

Joint Operations LLC then paid a visit to Advisor Sil'a and asked him for new beds for most of their quarters, lessons to teach Jandar how to read, and if he had heard back from the King. On the first two points he agreed and on the third he told them word would be back within a few hours. After a few quick inquiries, it was decided he would give them all some prep on how to approach their meeting with Elder Je’Son and the Court of the Gu'us Empire. Meeting in the Wardroom on the Absolute Majesty III, Advisor Sil'a went over the following points:

1. Don't Call Anyone a savage
2. Be Respectful of Others
3. Tork Should Not Talk
4. Don't Offer Land or Money - Just Prisoners, Titles, Policy, and Positions
5. Don't Be Magical
6. They're Likely to Stall By Needing to Meet with Court
7. Use the Upcoming Election for the Elder as Leverage in roughly 50 days
8. (Optional) Don't Hand Out Tork for Sexual Favors

With these precepts down, they practiced for several hours until Advisor Sil'a went to retrieve the King's response. While he was gone the strategy of offering marriage to Rodan Spice as a perk was thrown around but his heart still belonged to Samantha the Mother Whore. Advisor Sil'a then presented the King's Response:

King's Response:

My congratulations is yours. Work well done. Upon completion of your mission, the Absolute Majesty III is yours as well as funding for crew for a year. Further, upon your return, we will hold a titling ceremony giving all members of Joint Operations LLC rank (and accompanying land) as Protectors of the Crown.

With this information, the party decides to spend their time until the meeting with Elder Je’Son doing various errands in the city of Foun.
Tork went to the everlasting Carnival with Zirk and 'won' two bears. One was for Zirk, and one for his best friend, Alena Birch (who he told was his best friend for the first time). He, Zirk and Alena Birch went to the temple to Taur in the Gracehood within Foun (wedged between two temples to demons). An open 30x30 room after a door flanked by minotaur statues contained a few people on scattered cushions facing a silver horned alter. An older pink/gray minotaur told him that a wandering priest might be able to tell him more about the diety someday, but was not sure when he would be back. Other than this, she offered a prayer that he may someday make it to the glistening fields above. Despite checking back everyday, the priest did not return before their upcoming meeting.

Rodan Spice spent his time prancing about the rich and powerful during the day and slinking about the underworld during the night.

Alena Birch spent her other time construsting 26 additional arrows.

Atticus continued on his pursuit on magical knowledge.

Kale did some assorted tasks.

Wren became accustomed to living plants once more now that she was away from the blight by wandering around the gardens of the city.

The session ended as the players began to stir on DeepFrost 19, 2597 as they began to prepare for their meeting with Elder Je’Son and the Court of the Gu'us Empire.

Rejected Session Names

Lost Virginity a While Ago...

Coming All the Time

Leave No Trace with Dildos

Kiwi Loves Burger King

Redacted Slandering of Corporate Industry

No One Cares About the Date

Unamed Drow

Core Pillars of Druidic Magic

An Inscription on the Break on the Seal

No Buneo

Spoiler Alert: It'll Be Fun for Atticus

Head of Miz

Radio Disk Jockey

Did the King Kill the Empire?

I Don't Allow People to Die

Don't Mess Up the Smile on Her Face

Is It Cool If I Keep Her Ear? For a Necklace

She Was High

Illegally Crossing the Southern Border

Only Do the Cool Kids

DARE to be Different

This Is What Happens If You Do Drugs in This City

You Better Not Be Going to Get Drugs

Should Have Killed the Child When We Had the Chance

Rodan Hasn't Read the Proper Literature

Maybe We Actually Sleep

Atticus Doesn't Understand Wearing C(l)ocks

Maybe He'll Task Us With Overthrowing the Government

What's It With You and Anarchy

I Want More Land

Additional Requests

That's Weird Time Moves Slower For You

I Think You Meant Season

Shady as Shit

Atticus Trusts No One

Y'all Have Secrets

Tork Is Secretly Straight

Tork is Attracted to Power

Party in the Captains Quarters

Yep, You Can!

Rodan Cinamon, Nutmeg, Sugar, and Brown Sugar

Jeremiah Brown (Johnathon) - Sugar

Bedrolls In Their Quarters

Two Hammocks

Not Interested In Those Sorts of Interactions

Tork Doesn't Judge

Let's Put Jandar on Investigating the Papers on the Diplomat's Desk

Sherlock Tork

Take Tork To Bed

Who You Scrying: None of Your Business

Its a Poop Scry

Hear, See, or Smell

He's Going to Kill Us All

Rodan is Fashionably Late

You Can't Order Me to Come: "Come Over If You All Get a Chance"

Do You Have Consent for Reincarnation

How Does the Other Side Work

Captain Ambassador is Fine

You Get the Day Off

No One Would Expect a Half Orc to Read

No Half-Orcs in Lorehold College

Death is Like Dreaming of Colors

Colors Don't Tell Time

Hold Person with Arms

Tork is Bright Like Sunshine

The Sun Brings Sunshine to Rodan's Life

Rodan is Not Tork's Daddy

We Do Like to Overthrow the Powerful, Something A Lot of Us Like to Do

We All Want to Kill That Drow Hoe

I'm Basically a Devil

Let's Find an Ecological Expert

Atticus is Getting Rich

Morally Ambiguous

Indigenous Land Should Have Been Seized Differently

Sometimes for the Good of the Many, the Few Must Suffer

I'd Love to Kill the King

I'll Only Burn Down Skormp After Foun

Chemical Weapon

Connecting the Dots - Ecological Disaster

Spreading Blight

Blight Has Been Spreading Over a Year

Dropping a Biological Weapon to Seize Power

Let's Just Let Her Go, Find Her Later

SPOILERS FOR MISTBORN

True Majesty, the Mother Whore

Rodan is Torn Over the Farmland Situation

Allying Marginal Groups To Overthrow the Powerful

Robinson - Gnomes of S. IL

All The Other Strands

I Have Samantha's, the Mother Whore, Night Gown

DOES IT SMELL LIKE HER?

Can't Speak with Trees

Lay Down Advisor Sil'a

New Beds

Not My Entourage, Joint Operations LLC

Joint Operations LLC & High Priest of RCAN

Diplomacy

Figurines Needed

Show Respect Through Your Lack of Words

I Haven't Made Anything That Difficult Lately

Tork Jesus Christ

Rodan Jesus Christ

Leper Tork

I Need More Titles

Kisser of Cameels

Mounter of Camels

What Can We Do in 6 Days?

Hey Sir, How Can I Kill a God?

Can I Speak to the Manager?

Mother Didn't Give Me Enough Milk

Almost Can Lift Two Pieces of Wood

Gaaaaayyyyy!

BITCH

Report Date

22 Feb 2024