Session 71: Kale Doesn't Really Have Thumbs
General Summary
The session began in the ruined ancient city in the underdark in the morning on BranchForth 20, 2597 with the party meeting Professor Silvanus Rodrad, a 10' tall spider. Possessing eight emerald eyes, he was a scholar who has written half a book and wore eight hexagonal lens on his glasses. Additionally, he was eating various meats including what he claimed was either Minotaur or Elf Jerky. The party decided to accompany him to the fourth hidden city to further their quest and set off with him. He talked at length about how no one knew why the four cities were abandoned before the departure, but he assumed it was to give more distance to the drow between themselves and the creatures on the surface. The professor also had a strong belief the world wasn't a shape, but a living giant spider that walked around the sun.
On the way and in conversation with the professor, Rodan Spice caught Alena Birch dispelling the magic on his never-ending bottle of wine. After some back and forth and Rodan Spice pledging to only get drunk some evenings instead of every day during the day, Alena Birch allowed him to have his wine back. As they continued they continued to learn interesting facts from the Professor. He thought he might be named after the forest father Silvanus, but wasn't sure. He made the binding for his notebook out of the skins of 27 different species. His last party had died fighting something and he had ran away and hid (but returned to process their meat). Additionally, Kale contemplated eating his arm as a way to have never ending food and if it would count as cannibalism. With this and learning Jandar would be happy becoming not a half-orc via another reincarnation spell, the party slept for the evening (per Kale's telling of time).
On the morning on BranchForth 21, 2597 the party made their way into what the professor called the City of Dancing Lights (due to the fifty foot tall blue flames behind the ruins). Following the Professor, they went up to the base of a large tower and several party members (Kale as a parrot, Ariata, Rodan Spice, and Atticus) followed the professor up. At the top was a small laboratory with equipment and three hidden portals of silver, bronze, and copper. These led to an identical room with a book written in ancient drow script called Anatomy Medicala, which featured information about implanting items in bodies to increase their magical abilities. Atticus took copious notes.
Returning back down to the base of the tower, the Professor headed off on his own as he thought the party wasn't likely to die or leave behind their bodies for him anytime soon (except Jandar who declined to go with him). Following this the party worked on finding out how to deal with the massive blue lake of fire. Ariata confirmed the ceiling was far above the flames, so it could be traveled over. Both Alena Birch and Tork confirmed it was indeed fire to the touch and eventually Rodan Spice led them down two miles to their right where they found a bridge of gray slate lined with white skulls of elves. After about two miles on the bridge a section was out which they crossed by all going into the other dimensional plane and having Wren fly the doorway/portal across. Wren almost died as she dropped the portal and had to go back for it several times before successfully managing to rescue it. With this, the party continued walking until they came to the end of the lake and went through a small tunnel before coming to a large open cavern. As they began crossing it, a centipede like creature with hundreds of mouths came into view of Wren's light spell from her staff and Alena Birch drew her bow. The next session would begin in the afternoon on BranchForth 21, 2597 in the underdark.These Two Working Men
We Saw You Jumping Up & Down
These Two Working Men Walked Up To Me
Consumed Vaginally
He Did Nut Hard
Musty Meat
Gnomes Are Pestilence
You Look Like the Gods Made a Mistake
The World is a Giant Spider
Fuck with Rodan Time
Is Rodan a Front or Back Man?
I'm Just Going to Try to Get Off
I've Basically Made Magic My Bitch
Snakes Are Not Super Into Archeology
Real Rivals Are Toads
Part of the Archeologist Code
I Hate Gnomes
Leg of Something
Is Your Meat Still Moist?
It Was Very Wet When It Went Down My Throat
Rum Spice
I Switch Around Sometimes
Rodan Goes Off On An AntiTrans Rant In the Underdark
Rodan Desires a Succession Crisis
Reverse Cowgirl
Who's a Good Little Thing
Alena Doesn't Eat Meat... Except for Atticus
Eat My Body
All It Takes to Infiltrate Our Party Is a Quirky Personality
3rd or 4th Best Person to Check for Traps
I'm Surprised Rodan Caught Something for Once
Atticus is Proud of the Plotting
It's Not Like Rodan Has a Wand of Secrets, I Have That
I've Taken Things That Are His
Rodan Will Commit to Not Being Drunk Throughout the Day
Rodan is a High Functioning Alcoholic
Regurgitation Regeneration
Don't Eat Humans, But Bind Books with Their Skin
Just Because They're Not A Good One Doesn't Mean They're Not a Race
Not a Lover, Not a Fighter, But Quite a Good Cook
Join the Mile Down Club
Fun Fact, I'm Now 16
I'm Not a Soul Eater, I'm Not the World Spider
The Age Old Question, If I Fucked My Clone, Is It Incest or Masturbation
I Don't Know What Firbolg Wants
I Have to Pretend Evansville Is a Good Place to Live
Named After a Tree Guy
Kale, Racist Against Drow
Not Racist If Its a Fact
This Guy Doesn't Know Shit
I'm Immune to Most Damage
A Man Who is Notoriously
The Portal's Gone, The Portal's Gone, I'm Trapped
I Bring You All With Me When I Go Poop
I Swear to God Rodan...
Oh Thank God, How Long Has It Been
Mostly I Was Panicking a Little
Raw Dog an Intelligence Check
Ancient Drow Writing
Probably Literate
Kale, "I didn't start the fire, but I may have helped", Firbolg
Guys, This Isn't Normal Fire
What the Fuck
Tastes Like Rats
Situations With Our Butts
Pissing on the Floor, Shitting Their Pants
I Understand Fire, But This Isn't It
Oh You're a Parrot, Damnit!
Eldritch Flames of Death
Do We Have to Be Down Here?
Deep Gnomes
Wren Keeps Trying
I Can Cast Lantern
The Number of Mouths Covering Its Centipede Like Body
On the way and in conversation with the professor, Rodan Spice caught Alena Birch dispelling the magic on his never-ending bottle of wine. After some back and forth and Rodan Spice pledging to only get drunk some evenings instead of every day during the day, Alena Birch allowed him to have his wine back. As they continued they continued to learn interesting facts from the Professor. He thought he might be named after the forest father Silvanus, but wasn't sure. He made the binding for his notebook out of the skins of 27 different species. His last party had died fighting something and he had ran away and hid (but returned to process their meat). Additionally, Kale contemplated eating his arm as a way to have never ending food and if it would count as cannibalism. With this and learning Jandar would be happy becoming not a half-orc via another reincarnation spell, the party slept for the evening (per Kale's telling of time).
On the morning on BranchForth 21, 2597 the party made their way into what the professor called the City of Dancing Lights (due to the fifty foot tall blue flames behind the ruins). Following the Professor, they went up to the base of a large tower and several party members (Kale as a parrot, Ariata, Rodan Spice, and Atticus) followed the professor up. At the top was a small laboratory with equipment and three hidden portals of silver, bronze, and copper. These led to an identical room with a book written in ancient drow script called Anatomy Medicala, which featured information about implanting items in bodies to increase their magical abilities. Atticus took copious notes.
Returning back down to the base of the tower, the Professor headed off on his own as he thought the party wasn't likely to die or leave behind their bodies for him anytime soon (except Jandar who declined to go with him). Following this the party worked on finding out how to deal with the massive blue lake of fire. Ariata confirmed the ceiling was far above the flames, so it could be traveled over. Both Alena Birch and Tork confirmed it was indeed fire to the touch and eventually Rodan Spice led them down two miles to their right where they found a bridge of gray slate lined with white skulls of elves. After about two miles on the bridge a section was out which they crossed by all going into the other dimensional plane and having Wren fly the doorway/portal across. Wren almost died as she dropped the portal and had to go back for it several times before successfully managing to rescue it. With this, the party continued walking until they came to the end of the lake and went through a small tunnel before coming to a large open cavern. As they began crossing it, a centipede like creature with hundreds of mouths came into view of Wren's light spell from her staff and Alena Birch drew her bow. The next session would begin in the afternoon on BranchForth 21, 2597 in the underdark.
Rejected Session Names
Report Date
04 Jul 2024
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