Winter's Embrace

Life, Identity

Natalya and Fenneck go back to Flottenheim in time for the Winter's Eve festival and to hunker down for the cold months. Jasna and Natalya start to become friends. Fenneck and Natalya get into a fight and Natalya tries to leave until Baegla convinces her to stay and give Fenneck a chance. Natalya finds Fenneck in her room devastated after realizing she left. She comforts him and they forgive each other.

Natalya looked around the bumblebear cave. They had stored the things they could leave in the back and Fenneck was performing some spell to seal it off for the winter. They were heading back to Flottenheim for the winter months. Natalya was nervous and excited. She knew Fenneck was excited to go home. Natalya watched him perform the spell. A couple of time he had tried to teach her how to use magic but Natalya never seemed to figure it out. She found it fascinating how easy it came to Fenneck. He always used it for such pure reason and it always had the same, specific glow about it. He finished the spell and stood up. "You ready?" He asked calmly. "Yeah." Natalya said. "Let's go then." He said and started heading east. These last few months had been interesting. Fenneck was never as affectionate as he had been in Flottenheim but Natalya enjoyed the new layer to their relationship. They were friends now. She found she liked him better like this. He wasn't pretending or awkward. He was harsh and cold though. His anger was always fierce and sharp. He never lied to her either, which Natalya realized could be very hurtful at times. She never saw him explode again like he had that night they had spent together in Flottenheim. He was always very composed, very focused. On occasion, they had shared good moments together but generally these last few months felt a little heartbreaking all the time. They were both in pain. She had never told him what Dimitri had said to her that night and he had never asked. Natalya considered these things as they made there way back into Flottenheim. As they made it into the Vallee Fenneck was greeted by citizens and Natalya kept her head down. She felt guilty for leaving Fenneck and feared judgement from Jasna and Baegla for hurting him. She couldn't help but notice how everyone in the town seemed to be in love with him. Occasionally a pretty elf would greet him a little too friendly and Natalya would feel her heart burn with jealousy. She felt privileged to have had him all to herself these past few months. She felt her heart squeeze itself in pain fearing that Fenneck would move on and find someone else. They finally made it to the palace and Baegla greeted them cheerfully. She announced that they would have a big party the following night to celebrate their return and she sent them off to rest and bath. She told Natalya that she could stay in the room she stayed in last time. As Fenneck and Natalya went up on the lift and she felt a wave of sadness wash over at the thought of leaving Fenneck's side. They hadn't left each others presence for more than seven months. Fenneck avoided her eyes until they got off on their floor. Jasna was walking down the hall towards them and she squealed when she saw Fenneck and ran to him. "Oh my goodness! It's been forever!!!" She gave him a giant hug. Fenneck smiled but looked slightly annoyed by Jasna's disregard for personal space. He hugged her back, "How've things been?" He asked. Jasna excitedly started sharing the latest court gossip which mostly consisted of Wyeth not shutting up about some leaf he had found in Thymryu, a tiefling courtesan from King Zeitdrache's court she had spent some very erotic nights with, and that so-and-so was sleeping with what's-their-name. Fenneck feigned interest until Jasna realized Natalya was there. She smiled softly at Natalya and took her hands, "I'm so glad you're going to be spending the winter with us again. I'll let you both rest up and find you later to catch up." She politely left them. Fenneck cleared his throat and walked Natalya to her room. She opened the door and turned to look back at Fenneck who was already walking away toward his tower. Her heart plummeted. She got settled and started crying thinking about the last time she was there. The room looked exactly how it had when she had last been there. She walked over to the dresser, hoping to see all the clothes she had left behind, but it was completely bare. She lowered herself into her warm bath and fought away most of her tears until she crawled into the bed she had shared with Fenneck and wished it still had the scent of his sweat on it. The next few days she spent alone in her room with a pile of books she had borrowed from the library. Fenneck never came to see her and she didn't dare go and bother him. She had convinced the chefs to bring her food to her room and she even avoided the gathering Baegla hosted to celebrate their return from the mountains. They're celebrating Fenneck, not you. She told herself. Nobody wants you here. Not even Fenneck. He heart broke a little more each day as she secluded herself. After a week had passed, Natalya was siting and reading late into the evening when she heard a soft knock on the door. She threw a robe on over her underclothes and opened the door to see Jasna. "Hi." She said softly and friendly, "I wanted to chat, if that is okay. I brought mead." She said holding up a couple of bottles. "Fenneck said it's your favorite kind of wine." Natalya cautiously smiled and let Jasna in. Jasna was also wearing a night robe and she came in and jumped on the bed, making herself comfortable under the covers. Natalya found this behavior strange as she had never really had female friends before. She came over and sat next to Jasna. Jasna passed her a bottle, "Cheers!" She said taking a swig. Natalya took a rather long drink to curb her anxiety about having Jasna in her bed with her. "How are you doing?" Jasna asked her. Natalya felt incredibly awkward and insecure. "I'm fine." Jasna continued, "Look, I've talked to Fenneck about what happened. I think he's being a little harsh and I told him all your problems would probably be solved if you two banged it out but he didn't like that idea. He's going through a lot right now. It's not your fault." She said and she laid a hand on Natalya's leg and gently rubbed it. "He's more stubborn than he would like to admit. I get that you feel guilty but no one here is upset with you. We love having you here and I hope you and Fenneck figure this out. You two were so cute last winter. It was nice seeing him so happy again. It's been a while since he's connected with anyone like this." Natalya felt tears creep into her eyes, "I don't deserve him. I feel like nothing I do is good enough. Frankly I don't blame him for feeling the way he does." Jasna took Natalya's hand, "He likes you more than you realize. You are honestly so similar it's uncanny how perfect the gods got it putting you two together. He's also locked himself up in his room all week to wallow in self-pity." She smiled at Natalya, "And for two very attractive elves such as yourselves, it's not a great look." Natalya felt her heart wrench at the thought of Fenneck being in the same position as herself this week. "But I don't want to just talk about Fenneck. I do want to get to know you better. One on one. No boys present. I love Fenneck but I would love to have another female elf to hang out with around here." Natalya smiled up at Jasna, "I'm sorry I'm so awkward. I've never really had...friends before." Jasna smiled, "Well luckily for you, I have been known to talk enough for two people." She laughed and gently nudged Natalya. "Fenneck tells me you had a boyfriend at one point?" She asked. Natalya nodded and told her about Dimitri. After a while Natalya felt herself open up a bit more and soon Jasna was telling her about the weirdest cocks she had seen. They ended up drinking all of the mead and laughing late into the night. At one point Natalya opened up about her past and the abuse she had been through. Jasna was very comfortable talking about such things and comforted Natalya through her pain and tears. They talked all night and finally decided to rest just before morning. Late the next morning Natalya woke to a knock at the door. Jasna was lying in her bed still. Natalya found it interesting how Jasna preferred to lie down as if she was sleeping during her meditation. Natalya climbed out of bed and walked to the door and opened it and saw Fenneck. Her heart nearly exploded at the sight of him. He looked nervous and was still in his pajamas as well. "Good morning." He said awkwardly. "Good morning." Natalya said and gently smiled at him. Fenneck looked past her as he saw Jasna move from Natalya's bed. "I see you have company." He said. His face flushed and pain crept into his eyes. "It's just Jasna." Natalya said assuring him. "She came over last night and we...we had a really good talk." She said thoughtfully and smiled to herself. She saw the panic leave Fenneck's eyes. Seeing his jealousy made her happy though. "That's wonderful." He said. He paused and took a deep breath before asking, "I was wondering if you would like to go out tonight for dinner? Together. Just us." His eyes were desperate and Natalya felt her heart glow at this request. "I'd like that." "Wonderful, I will come by later then. I'd like to take you to a tavern in the city." "That sounds great." Natalya said. He awkwardly smiles, "Great." "Great." Natalya said back. He nodded and walked away. Natalya turns around to see Jasna stretching gracefully in bed. "See?" She said in a I-told-you-so kind of way. Natalya rolled her eyes. "Is this your doing?" Natalya asked her. Jasna smiled and jumped out of bed, "I sure hope so." She ran up to Natalya and hugged her. Natalya flinched in surprise. "We have to get you ready!" She said excitedly. "Ready for what?" Natalya said confused. "Your date tonight! I'll go grab all your clothes. Fenneck shoved them in his room somewhere." She said offhandedly. "Or do you want to go shopping?" She said excitedly. Natalya thought for a moment and felt a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing that Fenneck had saved her things. "Could you grab my clothes? I didn't realize they were still here." "Of course! Oh boy, I'll think of something for your hair while I'm out!" She excitedly hurried out of the room. Natalya took a deep breath. She felt really happy that Jasna wanted to be friends and wasn't resentful that she had hurt Fenneck. Fenneck. Her heart was all glowy thinking about what might happen tonight as she washed her face. Jasna eventually burst into the room with all of Natalya's old gowns. All except Fiana's dress Fenneck had loaned her. They hung the clothes up and Jasna riffled through them before settling on an elegant, silver-blue gown. She started doing Natalya's hair in some complicated braid pattern. "So, I have to ask." She started, "Have you and Fenneck messed around at all?" Natalya smiled at Jasna's curiosity. Grateful to be around someone who wasn't as prudish as Fenneck. "On my last night here before I left we almost did. But then Fenneck got upset. We were cuddled together all night though, in our undergarments." Natalya softly giggled, "He is quite romantic when he wants to be though." She said smiling to herself. Jasna smiled, "When he was younger he could have put every prince charming in the world to shame." She said, "He was so free and swept up in that sort of thing before...well, before everything happened." She looked down, "I don't know what he's told you and there are some stories I'll let him tell. It's nice to see him trying at least. He hasn't had an easy life." She sighed. Natalya spoke, "He's very gentle and he takes his time with things." "I don't know how you two lived alone in the mountains for seven months and managed not to fuck each other. I don't have that kind of self control. If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel about waiting?" Natalya thought for a moment, "It's frustrating...but not the worst thing. It's just...the feelings I get when I'm with him. It's intoxicating. I've had great sex before but I have never felt the desire to be with someone so strongly. Every inch of my skin tingles when he touches me." She said feeling herself blush. "Well, if you ever get too impatient with him, you can always come find me to help hold you over." She joked. Natalya laughed. "I've never been with a woman so you might be disappointed." She joked back. "Oh don't worry. I'll teach you." Jasna playfully winked at Natalya in the mirror. "I keep telling Fenneck as soon as you are hitched we're having a threesome because it is insanely unfair that he gets a sexy red haired assassin to keep all to himself." Natalya couldn't tell if Jasna was joking or not but enjoyed the flirting. She wondered how Fenneck would feel about it. "Done." Jasna said, finishing her hair. "What do you think?" Natalya admired the ornate design and hoped Fenneck would like it. "It's lovely." She said, smiling. "Thank you." "You're welcome. I'm really glad you came back." Jasna said beaming, "Fenneck is so lucky to have you." She smiled and hugged Natalya. "I'll give you some time to yourself before tonight. Have a great time okay?" Natalya smiled back, "Thanks. I will." Jasna left and Natalya waited nervously for Fenneck to arrive. Finally, she heard a knock. She opened to door and saw Fenneck. He looked nervous and was dressed in a nice silver tunic. "Good evening." He greeted her. "Good evening." She said back. He held out his arm and Natalya gratefully took it. He led her down into the mountain. Seeing the wonders below the palace made Natalya feel ashamed for hiding away in her room all week. Fenneck silently led her into a bustling tavern. There was loud music and people dancing everywhere. The place reeked of alcohol and the atmosphere was overwhelming. Natalya wondered why on earth Fenneck would take her to a place like this. He sat her down at a table and collected a couple bottles of mead and some shots from the bar. Natalya was already hating this. He plopped the drinks down on the table and a waitress came up and asked what they would be eating. Fenneck ordered a cheese and bread platter and some steak for both of them. Natalya found this behavior quite odd. In the mountains he'd be content to eat an apple for every meal and he rarely drank more than enough to warm his insides. He looked at her from across the table. "Jasna has informed me that I have been, as she eloquently put it, a stuck up prick who should loosen up before the sexiest woman in the world walks out on me again because I am a prude, grumpy plague-sored ballsack." He said passive aggressively. Natalya bit her lip to hide her laughter at Jasna's charismatic words. "So to combat this, I'd ask that we loosen up tonight and try to have some...fun." He said as if he had never had 'fun' a day in his life. "Look, I didn't tell her to do this." Natalya said. "Oh I know. She doesn't need help when it comes to getting into other people's business." He was clearly upset. Natalya didn't like the way this evening was heading. She worried that she had said too much to Jasna and Fenneck would feel like she had violated their privacy. "Please don't be upset." She said quietly, motioning around them. The last thing she wanted was for Fenneck to go off on her in public. "Oh please, nobody can hear us over the music. Why do you think I brought you here." He said, annoyed. "So you want to fight?" She asked bluntly. He looked at her like she was stupid. "No. I want to have fun." He said and gives her the fakest smile she'd ever seen. Natalya stood up, she wasn't going to take this. The music felt so loud and and the energy of the bar and so many people scared her. "The hell are you doing?! Sit back down." Fenneck said angrily. "You're being insanely rude." She shot back at him, "I'm leaving. Come find me when you want to talk like adults." Right then the waitress came over and plopped their food down. Natalya weaved around her as Fenneck became trapped by the waitresses arms. She left the tavern and tried to remember where she was. She was in the shopping district which was rather maze like compared to the other levels. She started walking and she felt Fenneck run up to grab her arm. Unfortunately for Fenneck, her defenses were up and she instinctively turned and socked him in the face, breaking his nose before he could touch her. He dropped to the ground in shock as blood gushed down his face. Natalya gasped and dropped down to try and help him. "Fuck off!" He said as she tried to reach out to him, causing her to jump back. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" He shouted at her. She was actually angry now, "What the hell is wrong with you?! You've been a complete ass tonight." She stands up and looks down at him, "I thought we were on good terms when we left the mountains but ever since we've been here you've just grown more and more resentful of me!" "Fuck." He muttered as he tried to stop his bleeding. "What the hell did I do wrong?" She asked angrily. He looks up at he and stands covered in blood now. "You did nothing! You have consistently done nothing. You are always here but you have never once reached out to me!" He had angry tears in his eyes, "You sit and pout that I don't dote upon you like I did all those months ago but when have you ever doted upon me? You never move closer to me. You never say an admiring word without me prompting it. You take and take and take and I don't have anything else to give you!" Fenneck's words stung Natalya's heart, "You said not to be affectionate! You said you didn't want to rush things! You-" He interrupted her, "I didn't want to allow ourselves to be overcome with lustful actions! I never told you you couldn't touch me!" "Oh because it's such a sin to want to fuck my soulmate!" She yelled back at him, "God, you must feel so high and mighty huh? You're so pure and pretty and perfect. Fuck you." She started to walk away. "I wanted this to be special!" Fenneck cried out to her. "God forbid you can't keep it in your pants for a few years." She turned back to him, also on the verge of tears, "You're so mean and judgmental! It's no wonder you've been alone for the last one hundred years!" He glared at her, "At least I'm not a cold, heartless whore." Natalya turned and hurriedly walked to the staircase. Tears were streaming down her face as she climbed up and she ran to her room and started packing her things. She wanted out of this cursed place. She threw her dress on the ground and threw on some warm clothes. She hurried toward the entrance. She decided to head back into the mountains and figure out what to do next. She carefully went down stairs. The palace seemed quiet and she hoped Fenneck wouldn't be around. She made it to the throne room before she was stopped. "Going so soon? I never got the chance to thank you for assisting Fenneck in the mountains. I know he was grateful for your company." Natalya turned to see Baegla walking toward her with her cane. "I'm really doubt that." Natalya said, "I don't belong here. I keep hurting him. He deserves better than this." She looks down, fighting her tears. Baegla reached up and took Natalya's hand. "Forgive Fenneck dear. His heart has been hardened and locked away long before you knew him. He will come around." She spoke with such certainty and wisdom. "As for you, perhaps you need some counsel?" Natalya didn't speak. "I understand that you have not an easy life yourself. I know you have a good heart, but it will take more than that to forgive yourself for your past. The things that happened to you in Lenisily were not your fault. The lives you took were not your sins. You did not deserve the abuse you experienced." Natalya felt her emotions well up inside her. She wanted to believe Baegla but the dark voices in her head and Dimitri and Fenneck's words told her that wasn't true. She saw tears well up in Baegla's eyes. "My dear, please, come sit with me." Natalya followed Baegla into a room at the end of the hall. When she entered she realized it must be Baegla's room. Baegla led her over to a table and fixed her some tea. Baegla proceeded to tell her about her life before the revolution. Natalya sat and listened and decided to trust this little halfling woman. She slowly opened up about what things were like in the KAV. Baegla was very comforting and soothing. Baegla asked Natalya to stay for the Winter's Eve festival before making any decisions and Natalya agreed. Natalya made her way back to her room. She opened to room and saw Fenneck at the floor of her bed. He was weeping and clutching her dress to his chest. He looked like hell, still covered in blood and tears. He looked up as she came in and started crying harder. Natalya dropped her things and went to him. She pulled him into her arms. "I'm so sorry." She said as she felt tears well up in her eyes. "I didn't mean that." He said through his sniffles and tears. "Please don't leave." His body heaved in pain with these words. "I don't want to lose you." He sobbed hard and Natalya held him tighter. "I'm not going anywhere." She said, truly meaning it. "I'm right here." She kissed his forehead and caressed his face. "I promise I'll try and do better." She said clutching him. His beautiful, sad eyes looked into hers and she saw herself reflected back in his tears. "Me too." He promised squeezing her hand. Natalya nuzzled her face against his and they stayed there in each other's arms for a few hours before Natalya started cleaning Fenneck's face. He looked up at her and smiled gently, "Some year huh?" He asked softly. Natalya thinks before realizing that it was a year ago today that Fenneck had found her in the mountains. She smiles back at him. "I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected it to be" He squeezes her hand. "I'm not." Natalya felt a wave of peace come over her and she nuzzled Fenneck's face against hers and gently kissed his cheeks. She felt the pull to kiss his lips and they stayed with their lips close, tasting each other's breath for what felt like eternity. Natalya felt her body glow with desire but she fought it and eventually she started to pull away. Fenneck grabbed her head to keep it close to his own. "You can kiss me if you'd like." He begged softly. Natalya smiled at him, "No." She leaned into his ear and gently bit it before whispering, "Not yet."