Sovereign Folly: Part 3
The next day, Cassandra woke up to two of servants awaiting her return to consciousness. This was a rather normal sight to her, given her royal background, but they appeared to be they type of servants that would not let you do anything on your own. A far cry from what she’s used to back in Lunaria.
“Good...uh,” she looked out the window to see the sun shining down brightly. “...afternoon?”
“Good afternoon indeed, Princess Cassandra! You and your friends have slept rather soundly. I trust your dreams were pleasant?”
“I...yeah, thank you. Pardon me, what time is it exactly?”
“It’s 2:30 PM, princess.” one of the servants said.
She’s slept in longer before. But what mattered right now was washing up and seeing the rest of her friends.
“Now wait one moment, princess! We insist that we take care of-”
“Thank you, but I’d rather do this mysel-woah!”
The two servants lifted her to the bathroom to wash herself up. Despite their insistence, Cassandra eventually fought them off and managed to change into a set of formal clothes provided by them. Upon leaving the bathroom and staving off another pair of servants, she ran into Kaiyo and Leon running around in their sleepwear.
“I told you, I can change myself! I’m a grown man!” Leon cried.
“Where the HELL IS MY SWORD!?” echoed throughout the hallway. To Cassandra, it was no surprise that Kaiyo would be this angry without it.
“What are you guys doing?” Cassandra asked.
“These crazy servants just won’t let up!” Kaiyo yelled, still agitated that her sword was stored away. “Just how sheltered was this Desmond guy!? Can’t even change outta his own boxers, can he!?”
“No, he can change just fine.” a servant answered.
“I was being rhetorical!”
Cassandra looked around the hall to find Natalie already dressed and drinking a cup of coffee. “Hmm. Say, Natz, have you seen our little ‘prince’ anywhere? Also, good afternoon!”
Natalie took another sip of coffee. “Afternoon! One of the maids here said he was preparing for some kind of conference with Lunaria. I guess it’s about the whole war going on.”
“...Oh this I gotta see.”
“Mmm I don’t think you’ll be able to, Cass.” She took another sip of coffee. “Even if you are a princess and all, I don’t think you’ll be allowed into that conference room even if it’s just a video call.”
“Well that’s no fun…” Cassandra sighed. “Well, guys, it’s already pretty late as it is, why don’t we grab brunch?”
“Hungry, princess?” one of the servants asked. “We have prepared meals in the dining room, just as last time. Oh, and miss samurai, your sword is in the dining room as well.”
The party thanked the servants and finished dressing up before heading downstairs. Upon reaching the dining room, they were greeted to multiple chests worth of gold, armor, weapons, and other valuable items. A plate of rib-eye steak sat in front of each of their chairs, with a side of baked pasta and a glass of water. The only exception to this was Natalie’s plate, which was just the baked pasta with a bowl of mashed potatoes on the side. It would seem that Gilford managed to get the last petty laugh as revenge for not getting healed right away.
“This is…” Leon trailed off, clearly in shock from the amount of rewards they were being offered for bringing the “prince” back home.
“Yeah…” Cassandra mumbled.
“Quite...quite a lot of loot…” Kaiyo whispered.
Natalie took another glance at their new haul. “It kinda feels like we’re taking advantage of this situation, huh…”
“I’ll say…” said Kaiyo.
A moment of silence filled the air briefly.
“Do you think...we should give these back?” Leon pondered out loud.
The group of friends briefly took Leon’s thought to heart…
“...Nah!” They all yelled.
“I mean they’re gifting it to us!” Natalie said.
“It’s just great hospitality!” Leon cheered.
“I mean, it would just be rude to refuse something like this, no?” Kaiyo reasoned.
“Of course!” Cassandra said. “Not even a princess can be rude to another kingdom’s offerings!”
“Why would we!”
The group continued to dance around a circle of justifications as they ate. Cassandra aside, in the end, they’re still from the Sunstone Empire after all.
Suddenly, a servant burst into the room just as the guild finished eating their meals. All eyes turned to them as he frantically tried to compose himself after kicking down the door.
“Everyone! There’s been an emergency!”
“What’s the matter? Are we under attack?” Cassandra inquired.
“Maybe. Please, come with me!”
The Windwell guild ran outside the castle doors, where they saw a long-haired man surrounded by guards on the staircase leading to the entrance. His hair was a light shade of blonde and his eyes were a light blue. The man looked all too familiar to the group of friends. There was just one thing that stood out: his attire was much too regal compared to what Gilford was last seen wearing.
“...Oh shit.” said Kaiyo.
“Oh shit.” said the rest of the party, almost in unison.
The man was rather disgruntled at the fact he was greeted at spearpoint by five guards upon arriving. “What is the meaning of this!?” he yelled. “I am Prince Desmond of Carus! Lay down your arms at once!”
“Silence, you imposter! The prince has been with us for a few days now!” a guard yelled back, refusing to move his spear.
“Imposter!?”
Leon sucked in air through his teeth and looked to the rest of the guild. “Oooookay...how are we gonna get outta this one? We can’t just bail like this, we don’t even know where Gilford is-”
“What is the meaning of this rabble!?” A voice echoed from the castle.
“Oh, God, speak of the devil.”
Gilford, dressed in a regal robe and an armored chestpiece, entered the scene, apparently done changing. How and why it took him this long to put on his “royalty” clothes and a single piece of armor remains a mystery to this day. Natalie, observing the scene, pondered to herself that now that she sees both of the men side by side, she can absolutely see why everyone mistakes their douchebag for the prince: they look far too alike. Finding the notion that they just witnessed a “Prince and the Pauper” scenario come to life rather amusing, she kept quiet to observe the growing tension.
“And just who do you think you are, sir?” Gilford asked.
“Me!? I should be asking who you are!”
“If you do not answer the question, trespasser, I will be forced to order these men to send you to a jail cell. For your sake and mine, tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.”
“Is he doubling down?” Kaiyo said, already exasperated and worried for their fate. “I think he’s doubling down the bullshit and charisma.”
“Oh no...he has the charisma of a dying flea in a rotting avocado!” Natalie whispered. “We’re gonna get thrown in jail aren’t we…goodbye, expensive potions…”
“It’s me! Prince Desmond! You dare take my name and eat out of my home!? When I’m done with this, I expect you all to be thrown in jail!”
“Oh yeah, we’re fucked.” Leon face palmed. There wasn’t any way he could look at this sight any further before he gets sent off to a damp cell.
“You? Desmond? Hah! And I’m sure you came all this way from your charity work at the eastern village.” Gilford sneered, adamant at maintaining the lie for as long as he can.
“Yes! I was helping the village in the east! I was the one who worked so hard for this kingdom’s people! Please, you have to believe me!” Desmond grew increasingly desperate. It was obvious he does not deal with confrontational pressure very well. He glanced at one of the guards. “Raymond! On your birthday, I gave you and your family a vacation a-a-and a o-one week cruise trip to Daybreak’s Harbor! I made sure you were safe and personally ensured nobody would interfere with it! Don’t you remember!?”
The guard looked up at Desmond. “That’s a touching story...but I’m afraid my name is Thomas. If you were really the prince, you would know this! Isn’t that right, your royal highness?”
“Why of course!” Gilford sneered, puffing his chest with an even more smug posture than before. “The whole crew knows about the twelve defense ships I sent with the cruise to guard it from Seafarers! I’m sure one of them even fired a false alarm!”
“Haha! Yes, exactly! That sure gave us a scare, didn’t it? At least Raymond’s family was safe!” the man and Gilford shared a hearty laugh.
“Hahaha! Ah, good times. Alright, I have an important meeting with the queen of Lunaria in just a matter of moments, I don’t have time to deal with this right now!” Gilford swung his arm to the side, flapping his robe. “Take him away, I’ll visit him in the jail cell privately later.”
“Yes your royal highness!” the guards yelled, rallying together.
“You must be joking!” Desmond said. “You cannot seriously believe this! Unhand me! I command you to UNHAND ME!”
“Heh heh heh…” Gilford chuckled. “Imposters really do all they can these days to sully my name. I will be in my chambers, preparing for the video meeting.” He walked back into the castle and laughed all the way up the stairs.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Windwell guild was stunned into silence, standing as still as a stone statue.
“Are...are you kidding me?” Natalie asked, mouth agape.
“You can’t be freakin’ serious…” groaned Leon. “No way. No fucking way did he just bullshit that entire situation.”
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Author's Notes
A story based on my Etrian Odyssey party that I wrote to vent out steam. Not much framework was used here, I just decided to flow with whatever I thought of first. I hope you enjoy the stupidity as much as I had fun writing it!