Pleiades Solace
Pleiades Solace
Continuously increasing entropy, a curse that was meant to be a blessing, a number that was supposed to be constant, but over time, it kept changing... and changing... and changing...
So she wondered, how could she defy the changing universe? What must she do to gain peace and stability, to not be bothered by such boring tasks as human difficulty?
Wealth, power, respect. As long as a human had these three qualities, they would never find difficulty in their lives. Such an inefficient system, yet it's the system the heavens used to chain humans onto Earth, so naturally she had to follow it.
But now her chains are broken, she lost her peace and stability, and the single curse that was supposed to keep her grounded became nothing more than the remnant star dust of a massive destruction.
Her eyes reflected the bright colors on the other side of the window, the universe keeps spinning around her. Spinning, spinning, spinning like a merry go round...
And she's back to where she started. How unfortunate.
Physical Description
General Physical Condition
Small and weak looking.
Body Features
Delicate, not taking up too much space.
Facial Features
Large eyes, small nose, thin eye-brows, and a star shaped decoration on her left cheek.
Identifying Characteristics
Fluffy long hair tied into two with glass orb ornament.
Physical quirks
Her hands are actually covered in scars.
Special abilities
N/A
Apparel & Accessories
Green glass hair ties and a light blue hairpin. According to Pleiades, her hairpin was handmade by her caretaker, and the caretaker had a matching hairpen except it was red.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
The sickeningly hot summer of this small town never failed to suffocate Pleiades, letting out a sigh of annoyance, she marches her way to the only hospital she had ever known.
Hand made lunchbox in her backpack and bouquet of flowers in her arms, she enters the concrete building and gave a small nod to the receptionist. They knew she would come, thus they made no efforts to stop her as she made her way into the patients' quarters.
Room 3, room 4, room 5... Finally she made her way to room 6 and opened the door. The old woman who did nothing but stare out the window in meloncholy all morning finally turned her head to greet the young girl. She doesn't seem happy to see her visitor.
The old woman starts scolding Pleiades, telling her she should be enjoying life more instead of taking care of a good for nothing old hag. Pleiades laughs it off as she changes the water inside the flower base that sat by the window cell. This was normal, she had heard this lecture time and time again, and so she didn't mind.
Suddenly, the old woman goes quiet, and thanks her for visiting. Strange, she never does that. And yet Pleiades took no particular interest in this change of behaviour, continuing to take care of the flowers.
"Live peacefully." The old woman whispered, "You don't have to be great, you don't have to have honor, destroy the world if you need to. Promise me that someday, no matter what happens, you will achieve true happiness."
Finally, Pleiades realized something was wrong. She snapped her head towards the old woman to find her eyes closed. It hasn't been that long since sunrise, and yet the bright lights weren't enough for the old woman to wake up. How tragic. The only person who cared about her wasn't her family, nor her friends, for she did not have any. It was a young girl who took pity on the famous grumpy old lady of this borish town.
Were you really happy? Is this the ending you wished for? No one was there to answer Pleiades' questions.
After staring at the lifeless shell of what used to be her best friend, she stared out the window to look at the sky. Bright lights were reflected inside her eyes, and the sky kept on spinning above her.
Spinning, spinning, spinning inside her head like a merry-go-round...
"Live peacefully."
And this single blessing was her starting point, and this single curse was her demise.
Gender Identity
She/her/hers
Sexuality
According to Pleiades herself: "If I ever became sexually or romantically involved.... Knowing me, I'd probably lock up the said person, beat them, drug them until they only remember me... I am not saying I would do it, but I can see myself in that state... Even for me, that's frightening. So I never thought about it. ...I actively avoided thinking about it."
Education
What do humans need to live peacefully? Pleiades asked herself this question until it made her sick. Her small town seemed peaceful on the surface, but in reality there were many problems beneath its facade.
Resource problems, political problems, gossips between citizens... As long as she had to deal with these nonsense, Pleiades would never be able to achieve true peace.
What do humans need to live peacefully? Wealth, power, and respect. This was the answer she ended up in.
Luckily for her, she was good at academics. Perhaps not a genius, but enough to be towards the top of the class in the small town school.
It's not enough to gain stability however, so she decided to go to the starfleet academy to gain the necessary education to gain respect.
Rivalry and jealousy could lead to instability. Her background from a tiny town aided her in this way. She had to work harder than most just to pass her classes, diverting her classmates away from her. As the years went by and her hard work paid off, now she was more knowledgeable than most of her classmates.
She still kept her grades at 'barely passing' however. The incompetent character was much too convinient to give up.
Failures & Embarrassments
Ruining an away mission by killing a guard which led to everyone in the mission almost being killed.
Mental Trauma
If you ask anyone in the small village of DeForest Wisconsin about a young girl named Freya Ellis, they will all say that she was a young child who went missing many years ago.
Due to her intoxicated and abusive partner, Freya's mother was forced to raise her child on her own. However, being trapped in a household of domestic abuse with an infant led to multiple complications. It did not take time for Freya's mother to take out her anger and frustrations on her child.
Raised in a violent household without proper education nor care led to Freya having multiple developmental issues, one of which was psychopathy, while another became more apperant when she started to learn how to speak.
The entire three years she lived with her parents, she never learned to address her mother as 'mom.' Her father always yelled at her mother using her real name, so the young child had no context on how to properly address her mother like any other children. This greatly upset her mother, as she belived it was Freya's way of saying that she will never consider her family. Every time Freya addressed her mother with her real name, she would be beaten using a alcohol bottle that her father left around the house. Similar thing happened when she tried to address her father as well. Eventually, this led to Freya's mind shutting out true names of people, including her own.
One day, Freya's mother brought her outside to shop for groceries. A certain old woman noticed something was wrong with the child.
And when the mother wasn't looking, the old woman dragged Freya away.
"How sad! I don't know what your true name is! Hm~. I know. You can be my 'daughter', don't worry about the massive age gap between us. In that case, we can have the same last name... But what should your first name be? ....I know! I'll name you after the happiest moment of my life!
From now on, your name will be Pleiades Solace!!"
******
Pleiades was adopted by the woman dubbed "the old crazy lady" by the towns people. She was separated from her parents at the age of 3 for unknown reasons, but the old woman noted her inability to remember names at this time.
The old woman was not the most affectionate person, nor the most reasonable, but she had enough morality to take care of Pleiades in the most normal way possible.
"Most normal," but not quite normal.
There was a time when Pleiades was bullied at school for being the "daughter" of the infamous old woman. It started out mildly enough, simple bullying that although traumatic for a young mind, still within the range of reason.
But soon enough, it became deadly.
Pushing her down the stairs, hiding sharp objects inside her bag, putting hand sanitizers into her food… Even Pleiades who usually stayed away from social complications, were forced to go to her caretaker for help.
But the advice given to her were much too cruel and damaging for a young mind.
"If they hurt you, hurt them back."
Those simple words and a silver knife.
The next day, when the school bell rang to signal the end of the day, the sky was stained with blood.
The young man who bullied Pleiades as a child also went to Starfleet academy, and many believed that they were on good terms due to how Pleiades acted around him.
But under his collected mask, the man was terrified of the young girl, of the length she would go to in order to keep her peace.
She couldn't keep track of all her sins, and well,
This is the result.
Morality & Philosophy
What is peace to Pleiades Solace?
Many would answer: the world without disturbance.
However, Pleiades would answer differently.
Social peace, the most difficult thing for humans to achieve, regardless of their abilities or friendliness.
"Emotional peace? I never had correct human emotions to begin with. World peace? That is far too much to carry on my shoulders. All I wish for is to stay as a nobody, a background character that no one pays attention to."
To Pleiades, peace means three things. Wealth, power, and respect. Enough to avoid social humilation, but not so much that it brews jealousy by a third party.
This was one of the reason she joined starfleet academy: she believed that in a setting filled with students lusting for power, she could blend into the background as 'a student who's good but not good enough to be spectacular.'
Peace is everything to Pleiades, although she defines it differently from how others typically would. And she would not stop at anything to achieve that peace.
"I thought that after joining Electra, people could forget about me as an incompetent cadet and stop expecting anything from me. But then Dimitar happened and well... I'm back to where I started. How unfortunate."
Taboos
"Are you kidding me?
Are you actually kidding me...?!
You disrupted my peace for such trvial reasons?! Unjustified hatred that you couldn't sort out like a reasonable person?!
Ha... Haha....
Ahahaha.....
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
HA... ha... aha.... haaa.....
It's taking every fiber of my being to not break you apart....
So instead, I'll make sure you can never forget this day."
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
Pleiades wishes she could expirence what others experience.
Love, happiness, compassion, sympathy...
However, she quickly learned that all of those are out of reach. If she cannot obtain love and happiness in her life, she at least wished she could live peacefully. After all, that is what her caretaker told her to strive for.
What she doesn't admit, is that even her caretaker told her that peace was only a means to an end. At her core, Pleiades desires love. She dreams of becoming a 'human.'
Likes & Dislikes
Likes: Silent films, science, and medicine.
Dislikes: Anything that disrupts her peace or the peace of her surroundings. Bonus points if she deems the reason for the disruption of peace "silly"
Hobbies: Cooking, baking, aroma therapy, piano, and herbal tea.
Social
Contacts & Relations
Willard Adair: The first victim of her messed up life. She hopes that he'll forget about her someday to live happily, but when they went to Starfleet Academy together, he would always try to approach her, looking at her as if he wanted to say something. Now he waits for her safe return home .
Family Ties
None as of now. In the past, she lived with a legal guardian in Monroe Wisconsin, who she calls 'Caretaker.'
Cowardly but intelligent, her only goal in life is to live peacefully. Has a tendency to run away from uncomfortable situations, including any social interactions.
View Character Profile
Age
19
Date of Birth
23 DEC 2351
Birthplace
United States
Children
Gender
Female
Eyes
Blue
Hair
Light brown
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
Light
Height
5'1"
Weight
115 lb
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Cadet's Log Stardate 194873.4
On our way back to federation space, we were to go through the Lokrian Nebula, a celestial object so large that it can be seen even from the alpha quadrant. While the crew prepared to pass through the nebula, the Electra came across a fleet of ships carrying roughly 7000 alien species called the Parums, a species that can change their forms depending on the jobs they wish to excel at. When I reported for my shift, I noticed that Doctor Connors was not in medbay, and so I contacted both him and Captain to be informed of the situation. Under their order, I grabbed a couple of extra medical supplies and beamed over to the flotilla's lead ship where Doctor Connors was treating the sick. After running a couple of failed tricorder reading, the doctor sent me to the bridge meeting with Captain and the leader of the Parum, which I tried to convince him to go to himself before being shut down. I beamed back onto the Electra to attend the meeting, which turned slightly sour when the Parums became suspicious of us, so the Captain took the leader of the Parum along with a couple more personnel of theirs in the hopes of clearing up any misunderstandings.
After the Captain left, I spoke with another Parum who attended the meeting named Bern Gehring. After having a small conversation, I asked him to come over to medbay with me as we were low on staffs. We started doing small tasks such as filling up hyposprays and replacing the biofilms when the ship started to shake violently. As it turned out, the shielding of the Electra were turned off momentarily in the hopes of putting it back up to encompass the floatilla with it. A Kremda fighter that was hiding saw this as an opportunity to attack us. Both me and Mister Berlin- Bern, watched the fight unfold on the other side of the window until commander Passinissi called medbay, telling us that the casualties the Electra took from the Kremda fighter led to critical injuries of two crewmens. The emergency transporter had been damaged during the battle, but Mister Bern was able to focus the transporter on the two crewman to beam them to medbay, at which point we started patching them up. Eventually the Electra won the battle against the Kremda fighter.
We continued our preparation to pass through the nebula, at which point, multiple personnels from the Parum ships came to assist the Electra. I decided to start running a couple of tests on Mister Bern to learn of the Parum's dietary restrictions as well as any other information I could find. I learned that the Parums were not affected by chlorine, which is usually a deadly toxin to other species.
A few hours after we started passing the nebula, we were attacked once again, and the proceeding battle had seemed to cause the ship's shield to go down yet again. I decided to walk over to engineering with Mister Bern to see if there were anything we could help with to put the shields back up. Unfortunately, one of the Kremda ships latched onto the Electra on Deck 7, which was where we were working at. I suggested filling the hallways with chlorine gas to stop the intruders, who we knew were coming up towards Engineering with deadly forces, however I was not able to get through the computer's safety protocols to release chlorine onto our hallways, and thus were forced to engage in combat with the Kremda intruder. We managed to kill all but one which survived, though unconscious. At this point, the spores used by the mutineers were released into the air by captain and I was knocked unconscious.
I managed to wake back up and started dragging Mister Bern to medbay and gave him a hypospray that woke him up. At this point, the captain ask us to to join the rescue party to save doctor Connors and the other medical personnel who stayed behind on the lead ship. Me, Mister Bern, Ensign... Vash and Crewman... Al... Farabi, all met up on the shuttle on our way to the lead ship. I was to act as the lead medical officer for this mission. We latched onto the lead ship and managed to meet up with Hala'ee, the leader of the Parum. The ship was 40% taken over by the Kremda by the time we got there. After realizing that the only non-Parums aboard the ship were us and the medical personnels, who were taken hostage in the ship's engineering room, I came up with a plan.
Two Parums who had experience in piloting as well as a couple Parums on the priority list for evacuation (mostly children) would aboard the shuttle with the rescue team, we would then fly over to the airlock that were the closest to where we believed the hostages were held at as we give the control of the shuttle to the two pilots. While the rescue team goes to collect our medical team, the shuttle will go back to the Electra to drop off the refugees and pile as many chlorine gas tanks as they possibly can onto the shuttle. The shuttle will then pick us and the medical team up by the airlock and we will reconvene with Hala'ee and give them the chlorine gas to fill their ships with. The rescue team and the medical personnels will evacuate the ship, killing only the Kremda and none of the Parum aboard the ship. Hala'ee would try to negotiate with the Kremda for the release of the hostages to distract them, and on the off chance that they somehow succeed, they would sound an alarm that would alert us to abort the mission.
Hala'ee agreed to the plan and the four of us were dropped off by the airlock, and we made our way over towards where the hostages were held. Along our way, we came across 2 Kremda marines who initially mistook us as one of their own, which we were forced to kill due to the threat of them exposing us. Mister Bern, with his knowledge of the ship, were able to sneak through the engineering room and the cargo hold to find 4 Kremda marine in the engineering room, 5 in the cargo hold, and roughly 35 hostages being held in the middle of the cargo hold, 4 of them being our medical staffs. We all decided to do a surprise attack on the 4 marines in the engineering room before tackling on the cargo hold to make sure the 5 marines in the cargo hold could not ask for their reinforcements later on. We managed to kill 2 of the marines, and the remaining 2 we stunned after threatening them to drop their weapons.
As we were about to ambush the cargo hold, Engin Vash came up with the plan where we lure some of the marines by acting as their own and calling for their help. Me and Mister Bern went into engineering, where Mister Bern proceeded to call for help due to invaders. 2 Kremda marines came out, which Ensign Vash and Crewmen Al Farabi managed to surprise attack and kill. We all decided that the best way to take on the remaining 3 marines were to also to surprise attack them while one of us acted as a distraction. I offered to be the distraction as I had the least amount of combat abilities out of the 4 of us. I slammed open the door on one side of the cargo hold which took attention away from the other as the marines shot at me. Mister Bern, Ensign Vash, and Crewmen Al Farabi managed to kill the 3 guards. We reconvened with our 4 medical personnel as we also explained the situation to the remaining hostages, and rushed back to the shuttle, who were waiting for us by the airlock.
We returned back to Hala'ee with the chlorine gas, and we managed to convince her to first try to negotiate with the Kremda before releasing the chlorine gas on them. Although she seemed hesitant, she agreed, and the 8 of us returned back to the Electra. Later, we were told that the negotiation succeeded, and that the chlorine gas was never used as the Kremda surrendered. The total casualties of this battle were roughly 400 Parums and one of their ships.
Afterwards, we continued on our way through the nebular while repairing our damaged ships, and once we all got to the other side of the nebula safely, the Parum ships and the Electra parted ways. Although roughly 40 of them stayed with the Electra to go to Federation, one of them being Mister Bern.
Personal Log: Stardate 18956.6
Found myself in a bit of a pickle these past couple of days.
First I get stuck on a planet with Ensign Wolf, Ensign Von, Captain, and Crewmen Hansel. Then few days later, I invited Ensign Wolf to bake a cake with me, which somehow ended up into a baking session with me, Ensign Wolf, and captain, which somehow ended up into a drunken party with a bunch of other people. Right after that, crewmen Tora finally woke up, so me and Nurse did a bunch of medical work while trying to straighten up Doctor... It was a mess.
I'm gonna replicate the serum we got in the planet, but it seems I can't use it for anything useful because of the physical toll it would take on a living being. I'm disappointed. I didn't like controlling an element, but it's a serum that allows you to control the environment with just your mind! I thought that maybe I can make a serum where I can cure cut wounds of more than one person at once using similar mechanisms, kind of like "heal all" skill in rpg games and such! But it seems that's going to be impossible. It would have been fun to be able to cure a room full of people with one swish. Though, I guess we don't even know if such a serum was possible in the first place, but I wish I could have dreamt about it just a bit longer...
I'm exhausted, honestly. I didn't even want to go to the party but Ensign Wolf got extremely upset at me. That being said, I found a way to attend without feeling awkward: taking pictures of everyone. I ended up storing the picture in a photo album under captain's bed. I wonder what he'll think when he finds it, especially when there's a bunch of pictures of him being really tipsy.
I think I like photography though. The feeling of recording and knowing about everyone else around me while they forget that I exist... I think I'll keep doing it when there are too many people around.
Also, screw doctor. Nurse might want to be friends with him, which is good because apparently he likes people whose mother wasn't a drug addict. Let him be court marshaled for making bioweapons, see if I care. ...Except I would because I did help him on that. It was kind of upsetting because I felt safe when I was around him, since he was probably the only person on the electra who talked to me like a normal human. It's just, I'm sure it was a joke, and I understand I was pestering him a bit too much about drinking, but... Hm, it seems I was more bothered about it than I initially thought.... I honestly can't believe how much I've changed since I've been here, and I can't even tell if it's good or not.
I never looked back on my past before. And yet, recently, I've been thinking a lot about Willard and caretaker. I even told Crewmen Hansel about how I almost died while falling off the stairs. I never talked about that with anyone. And I didn't think I cared too much about what caretaker was up to when she was in starfleet, but lately it's all I think about when I'm in my bed.
I wonder what Willard is doing now? Did he finally forget about me? I sincerely hope he did. He must have, right? After all, I'm not there to excite him anymore. He probably has a lot of people to interact with on his own ship. He probably made a lot of friends... Maybe it's harder for him to make enemies, but I'm sure he must have at least one. Yeah, he must have forgotten about me.
And caretaker... What kind of a crew member was she? She may have been a little off around me, but every time she needed to be, she was perfect. Perfect smile, perfect words... Complete and perfect but all she said were a bunch of lies. I wonder if she was like that when she was in starfleet too?
.....
I should just focus on my research.... Oh... I'm going to have to work with Ensign Kepler or whatever on that serum huh...? I really, really don't want to work with people I've never even spoken to... I wonder what we're doing with crewmen Tora's rehab... Is nurse going to take care of it...?
There's... a part of me that somehow enjoys all of this. The chaos, the people... But I'm not sure if I'm ready to accept it. The moment I do, I may find myself with the temptation to cause trouble just because I've gotten used to the taste of excitement. Last time that happened, Willard happened... And I know I don't need more of that in my life. But leave it up to me to not have any empathy even to the future version of myself.
One thing I should do is avoid Captain. He's the captain so of course chaos follows him. I wanted to avoid him with the party and everything, but he's just too entertaining to watch, I couldn't help myself. Though, considering how upset he got at me at my attempts to put him and Ensign Wolf together, I doubt I'm a good influence on him anyway. Would be nice if he avoided me instead, but that's not possible I think.
I also need to set up tea for doctor and nurse. I was worried because I didn't see them interact with each other... and because of doctor's lack of social skill. Turns out, I was worried for nothing. I just need to let them spend time together. Perhaps it's a bad idea to try and purposefully get them closer, considering what happened with captain and ensign Wolf, but I don't even need them to date, I just need them to talk to each other.
Yes, this is comforting. Everyone else moving around me.
Though, I will have to look up caretaker soon or else I feel like my heart is going to implode... As much as I want to ask someone to look at it with me, it would be for the best if I did it myself.
...
......
...........
If you're net neutral, then you'll become one with the universe, huh...?
Caretaker, how am I doing? Am I going to be poison? Medicine? Or nothing to this universe?
Cadet's Log Stardate 18759.5: Away Mission to Cobar 4
We began the day with a bridge meeting which I was to attend due to Doctor Connors being too busy to attend himself. We came to the conclusion that we would need a map of sorts in order to navigate the Beta quadrant: specifically in order to avoid the Romulan Space Empire territory. The Captain pointed out two factions nearby where we could potentially find a map. The first was the Kremda Syndicate, Captain mentioned that they were an enemy of Romulan Empire when his mother was there, and the T'uvar, who was in a tense political standoff with the empire. We scanned for a class M planet with warp capability, where we found the Planet Cobar 4. We took one of our shuttle while the U.S.S. Electra stayed out of orbit. I requested the captain that I join on this away mission, and he agreed while assigning himself and Ensign Fox as well.
When we got to Cobar 4, although we were not able to get the specific details about this civilization, we observed how the locals dressed, and thus replicated clothing for ourselves in order to blend in. When we arrived to the town, we noticed there were multiple species living on the desert-like planet, and I was able to find a silver coin which we noticed were a part of their currency. Without knowing how much it was worth, or if it was enough to buy a star map, we went to seek a man named Tamin who seemed to have been an outlaw known by the locals. This was also when we learned that we were in the Kremda Syndicate. Tamin posed a price of 500 for the star map and we decided to try and collect some currency to see if it was within our realm of possibility. Specifically, we sold water and medical services to the locals to see how much we could make after a little while. In order to replicate water however, we brought our shuttle to a docking station inside the town, which lead to Crewmen Hollins being taken by the Kremda Syndicate and our shuttle being stolen.
We made our way to the palace which we learned that Crewmen Hollins were taken to, and decided that the best plan would be for Ensign W- Fox to pose as a powerful business women and for me and Captain to act as slaves to give as gifts to the local lord. With this we were let into the palace and I was separated from the rest of the group. They took me to the kitchen where they told me to polish some silverware, allowing me the opportunity to steal a knife. Uh... Ignoring Captain's orders to stay low, I then made my way over to the guard and stabbed him with the knife when he got distracted. I went into what I believed was the armory, which turned out to be a guard station. I ran away with guards behind me to the shuttle bay where I found our shuttle and decided to go inside in the hopes of getting supplies. Uhm... Two of the guards made it inside before I fully finished closing the door and so I killed one with my knife, and killed the other with the electric spear I stole from the one which I had already killed. Uh... After that, I saw that the Captain was in a standoff with the Kremda Syndicate bounty hunter Demda, and so I went out of my shuttle and shot plasma blasts towards Demda using the weapons I stole from the two guards I killed. Eventually we were able to defeat Demda, but three other guards came out to the deck with a rocket launcher. Although I was not hit directly by it, the collateral damage wounded me badly and I went unconscious.
I woke up in Medical of U.S.S. Electra being told that Captain, Ensign Fox, and Crewmen Hollins made it back safely, with Captain and Ensign Fox acquiring a map from the ship they were forced to steal, as they used the shuttle to get me and Crewmen Hollins back. I was able to get back safely despite my unconscious state, thanks to Crewmen Hollins driving the shuttle back despite her wounds.
Overall, the entire event that led to the downfall of our mission is to be blamed on me for my lack of care.
Review of People on the Ship
I don't feel like talking about myself today, so I decided to talk about everyone else. At least, everyone on this ship who I have a particular opinion of. I have my list of people here, so I shouldn't mess up any names on this one.
First off is Captain of course, and although I was skeptical of him in the beginning, I quickly realized how much I underestimated him. He's the best captain anyone can ask for! He's intelligent yet modest, ethereal yet personable, strong and brave, and overall amazing in every way. There is nothing I could ask more for. ...Actually, there is one thing. I wish that he would smile more. I like his smile, but he never seems happy about anything except maybe Ensign Wolf.
Speaking of Ensign Wolf... I mean... Ensign Fox. I doubt she remembers, but she is one of the main reason I decided that the people on this ship was worth something. To her, it might have been an off hand comment to someone she met in the hallway, but it really meant a lot to me. She's been trying to encourage me lately, so I feel a bit bad about the fact that I am not taking any of her advice seriously. ...And, I didn't miss the slight hint of fear behind her eyes. Whether that be because of my lack of self preservation or a genuine fear of me as a person... That is a question for another day.
Ensign Vash... *Sigh* To be honest, looking at her makes me angry. And not because she is incompetent... Although there are times when I wonder what possesses her to do the things she does... But that isn't the reason I am upset at her. Truth be told, I'm envious of her. At least, from how I see her, she it a bit similar to me in that she has no ambition or inspiration, and yet she looks so happy every day... So... loved... To me, she represents everything I could have been. She reminds me that I will never be able to blend into human society.
Who is next...? Oh, Ensign Passinissi. ...I... Don't trust her. Not that I think she will do something that would be damaging to me, quite the opposite actually. For a counselor who's supposed to hide the fact that she isn't judging her patients, I can't help but feel like she is judging me. Grant it, I admit that I am broken to the point beyond repair, and she probably does an excellent job with her other patients, but people like her who's not good at manipulation and deception should have never associated themselves with me. ...Perhaps I pity her in that sense that she was forced to talk to me.
Doctor Connors.... He's an interesting case to me. When I first started talking to him, I quickly realized that this man is not capable of taking care of himself and his surroundings. If we lose our only "doctor", then we lose peace of the ship and I cannot allow that, so lately I've been forcing my way into his life so that I can at least control him to a certain extent. I suppose he took that as an indication that he can send me to the bridge meetings instead of going there himself. ...Though another thing that concerns me is that after I learned that previous captain passed, I came to learn his name. I... Don't have a specific disdain towards him like all of the others I learned the names of. In fact, besides the fact that he is quite childish, I find him more favorable than most people on this ship. So now I'm very confused about my name learning skills.
Nurse Wallace... Please take care of Doctor Connors I'm begging you...
Ensign Cruz.... Admittedly I feel that I was too cold to her during the party. I hope to apologize to her soon. Though, during the mutiny, I really didn't expect her to run like a wild boar and pick a fight with someone who we probably should have lost to. I thought that I was the maddened guard dog, but she might give me the run for my money with that title...
Ah, Ensign T'Lyn. I never got the chance to talk to her, but I do have strong opinions about her. Although I believe I shouldn't make friends for various reasons, if I was forced to... Maybe if Captain asks me to make a friend... I'd probably try Ensign T'Lyn first. While doing my rotation in engineering, I noticed some of her behaviors felt... Familiar? Of course, she'd probably wouldn't want to touch me with a ten foot pole if she ever learns what lurks inside of me, but I somehow get the feeling that we would get along just fine until then. At the very least, we can be those friends who claims that we're friends so that people stop pestering us to make one, and just read a book silently next to each other instead of talking.
Petty Officer Mostafa.... Ah.... I... Am afraid of him. To a wolf in sheep's clothing who wishes for nothing but to live amongst the sheep without complications, there is nothing more frightening than a sheep who can sniff out the wolves. I fear that he is exactly that. Even though I feel like I shouldn't be afraid anymore now that a couple of people already know about my true nature, but perhaps the reason I still fear that man is because I still managed to hide certain parts of myself away.
Ah, Weisselberg... I don't have too much comment about him. Other than that he looked kind of histerical when he threatened to shoot me out of the airlock and I tried to tempt him into actually doing it. Hmph, a sheep in a wolf's clothing should just give up an stay a sheep. ...Why... Would a sheep pretend to be a wolf? That's so... illogical.
Ozier can go to Hell. I understand his viewpoint and why he did what he did. But he could have gone about it in a more peaceful way. He should be glad that the captain is such a kind person.
Williams can go **** *** **** and ** ** ******* ****. I would love nothing more than to ***** her ***** and make her regret that she was ever born by ******* *** her *****. What makes me confused is that, I understand why Ozier acted up, but I cannot wrap my head around why she acted up. I could ask Captain but I have a feeling he wouldn't tell me. She's another person who should be glad that the captain is such a kind person. The only thing stopping me from going to the room she is in without caring about all the laws I'd be breaking is him.
That is all I have to say about people on this ship. Everyone else might as well be a blob to me. Although there was that one puppy who caught my attention, but I already forgot her name.
....Actually, I do have one thing I want to say about everyone on this ship. Why is everyone so effing tall?
Personal Log: Stardate 15520.7
Ensign Wolf's trial was today.
Captain asked me to act as a witness, which never happened as Ensign Von didn't really do a good job defending her. Though admittedly, the punishment wasn't that bad. I might even be able to work with her since one of her punishment was to work in medical for a little while!
During the trial, I sat there while being reminded of why I found myself in this messed up situation. Honestly, I feel like a clown. Participating in Electra Bingo in the hopes that Ensign Wolf would praise me for it, only to be labeled a problem child then have her say that she thought no one would be stupid enough to actually do the bingo.
I've been acting so strange lately. And that incident on Damitar is to blame. If that didn't happen, I would have been able to exist on this ship as a shadow.
No... Perhaps I was too naive in thinking that I could continue living without anyone paying attention to me with my current skillset. It's weird, I haven't been able to deceive everyone like before. Perhaps it's the stress of the situation I am being put through? How comical that I'm actually bothered with such things. Life is only a time wasting session until death. Perhaps I forgot about that fact lately.
Oh who am I kidding? That makes it sound as if I'm actually having fun. People like me don't deserve to have fun.
No matter. All I have to do is stay extra quiet, and hopefully people will forget about me. Starfleet academy will likely punish me for everything I've done thus far, but I might be able to use that to my advantage. Though, I'll have to be careful that my credibility doesn't plummet too much.
There are people like the Captain and Ensign Wolf who will shine brightly enough to drive any attention away from me. They're so cool.
That being said, Doctor Contours...? I worry that he will overwork himself. I'm doing everything I can to lighten his workload, but I fear that's not going to be enough. He mentioned he wanted something from an away mission, though Captain and Ensign Von shot down the idea rather quickly. I wonder if I can convince them to bring something back for him. Asking for a plant is too much, but maybe a pretty rock or something?
....Now how can I ask without them thinking I'm up to no good?
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