The Death of Rattlesnake Jim

General Summary

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Three strangers sit in a jail cell aboard The Vault Crawler awaiting their inevitable fates. A motley crew of criminals and the falsely accused, they are spared execution when some credits change hands but their benefactor is quick to introduce himself and his true aims for their 'freedom'. Old Man Thompson is familiar to at least one of them, though he makes no apologies for an aggressive introduction to set the tone of their meeting.

"Listen here scabs- and POSHy boy, nice to see yer still intact!- But shut up and listen, all of yous!!"

"I'm Mayor Thompson of Undercity. Big Mayor Thompson, so don't get fresh with me or you'll wish I left you up top with those xenophobic pricks!"

"I'll make you a deal cause I ain't no slaver, got me?? You are gonna go some place for me and help kill a man. I'll even tell them to pay you if you actually pull your weight. Better deal then you'll likely get anywhere else- but the catch is you don't pick up shit. Everything in this place is MINE. ALL MINE, got me???"

"I can see by the look in your eyes we are both tracking the same goal here. They'll take the gags out on the road. Not much for back and forth, feel me? Now get going, it'll be tight but I got trucks to drive you out there. Don't come back. Gonna tell the Vaulties up top you all died on this run. You're welcome."

Without much in the way of choice in the matter, they are transported like cargo over half the Dust Bowl on dangerous roads kept curiously pristine by slavers and the notorious Master's Bastards. No incidents along the way could mean some caps and favors have already changed hands, or maybe the many raiding factions are waiting for the return trip to launch their ambushes. Sir POSH has other designs however, being much less constricted then his compatriots he is able to discover more information about their destination ahead of time.

Scanning the radio waves and intercepting messages from reconnaissance teams ahead of the convoy, he learns that his precious 'Roc' is indeed present and intact. One complication has been introduced however, true to RJ's style, he has built a Nuclear warhead into the junkyard vertibird that is set to explode should anyone go tampering with it. Banter from the technicians on site suggest the existence of an encryption key that will disarm the device which becomes the unassuming Eyebot's first priority once they are left on their own.

Bombed out and occupied briefly by the Enclave, the surface of the Sarsaparilla Plant is no longer accessible. They must navigate the metro tunnels that ran under the complex pre-war to find their quarry, though it looks like an advanced team of heavies are leading the charge to clear the larger obstacles. With the underground maze winding its way through collapsed sections and dug out caves to bypass them, the group is eventually left to unpack their gear and find themselves alone with each other for the first time since their incarceration.

Now forging their own path forward, they are introduced to their first dilemma as a group of mercenaries order them to assist them in killing a few mutants that seem to be trying to escape. Rex and Cram the Cyberchimp snarl in a mix of rage and fear as the Undercity grunts open fire. With a brain marinating in two century old biofluids, the primate attacks a man with his bionic-enhanced strength before they can pin him down. Furious animal screams echo throughout the chamber as his hooked fingers tears chunks from what was once a human face until there is nothing left but mush.

Not taking any chances, Slackjaw brings both of his double barrel shotguns level with the mutants and lets loose a devastating barrage. A wad of pellets cuts the animal apart in a haze of red mist and sparks, his crumpled remains tumbling off the dying man choking beneath him. Before his compatriot can react, he is sent to the ground with one of his knee caps exposed in a gory display. Taking advantage of his condition, Lockjaw gets into the action with his machete. Exposing his own mutant fangs as he cackles with maniacal glee, he brings his serrated blade down again and again on his helpless victim. Seeing the bloodshed get a little too gratuitous for his liking, Sir POSH valiantly jets forward to end the creature's suffering with a merciful coup de grace before the two savages he finds himself with can go any further.

Hearing the sounds of another firefight around the corner, the trio take a peek to find a group of automatons that have the mercenaries on the run. A large Sentry Bot rains down artillery through a doorway that it is too big to fit through, leaving the under armed grunts cowering behind cover in the wake of the assault. Their backup is pinned down opposite them in the tunnel by a formidable Colonel Gutsy, its weaponized fuel coating the only way into this section so that they are helpless to intervene. Wishing to avoid more unnecessary resources, Sir POSH thrusts himself into the front line so he can get close enough to the Gutsy model to unleash his specialized cyber attack. In a mix of scintillating lights and radio waves, the humble Eyebot takes on a more assertive posture and brute forces his way into the other machine's programming. Turning off its hostility to organics, it simply ceases firing and resumes a casual patrol down the tunnel.

Seeing that the larger robot has a glaring weakness exposed, the two men with the curiously similar nicknames exchange a glance and begin to sprint for the Sentry Bot's back where its fusion core has been exposed. Leaping onto the thick outer plating, they both dig their fingers into the corners of the battery cell and yank it away in a violent twisting motion. Sparks fly as the connection is abruptly severed and the automaton croaks out one last time before going silent forever. Almost a nice moment, the two psychopaths seem to be bonding over their death defying act, though it is hard to tell with Slackjaw since he is literally missing the bottom half of his face from some terrible injury he survived in the past. As he chokes and gurgles agreeably, they move on to face their next challenge.

The next leg of the journey takes them past a destroyed Protectron that went critical on top of a collection of barrels containing radioactive waste. Thick fumes now fill the space with nowhere to escape and more accumulating every moment they waste. Deciding to try and barter with the mercenaries they aided, Sir POSH shows off his silver tongue once again to drive down the cost of their exchange. Armed with a single hazmat suit, they take turns wearing it through the hazard before letting POSH run it back for the other. While taking some extra time, the group makes it safely through and finds the space opening up into the main station. Up on the platform, they catch a glimpse of Rattlesnake Jim..

Before they can finish the job they came here to do however, they notice another group of mutants trapped in an old railway car that looks to have been converted into a market stall. Unarmed and cowering, they cannot escape into the flooding tunnels behind them, and are facing extermination by the hands of a mercenary in full metal armor with a flamethrower in hand. At first it seems like the three will simply let this happen, as Slackjaw gives the man a thumbs up and waves Lockjaw over to join him in watching the spectacle. Sir POSH however cannot stand by while an innocent life is in danger, and taking pity on the cowering mutants within, he devises a quick plan.

Cutting open one of the jammed doors on the opposite side to the flame-wielder, he quietly lets Simmons and Little Bill out before they are burned alive. Eternally grateful, the two give the Eyebot their entire savings before quickly finding an emergency exit and getting away from the fighting. Not so easily fooled, the Undercity mercenary confronts POSH, but is talked down at the cost of some food and water. Although disappointed in the lack of violence from his solution, the two savages can't argue with the caps he shares with them. Feeling like he had at least accomplished one good thing in all this ugliness, Sir POSH can now turn his attention on his arch nemesis.

Up above the true fight has already begun. Looking to have initially possed some kind of advantage, the mercenaries are now facing a substantial setback as Rattlesnake Jim unleashes his feral surface hordes on the flank of their command squad. Their own flanking force is caught in a minefield, the devices cleverly painted to look like the trash they are buried in, and so it is these three that are faced with their final choice. Continue the course and kill the pre-war ghoul, or turn on their handlers and help the madman escape for a substantial payout..

"POSH! What a pleasant surprise! Hey, do me a favor buddy- Help me kill all these assholes and I'll give you- just a TON of caps..." "Whadda you say?? We've had our tiffs, but we both serve the Lady- I can uh- tell you what happened to your friend! Rat or weasel or something was it...?"

Not willing to trust the devious character or turn on their benefactors, the fight begins when they launch their attack without warning. Behind them they can hear the two men in power armor shouting commands to their subordinates over their vox emulators as they engage the horde. Although better armed then mercenaries they have run into thus far, many seem terrified as the mass of twisted abominations make their first appearance in the narrow hallway. Time will not be on their side if they mean to claim this bounty and get the keys to their very own vertibird. A vicious engagement ensues on both ends, churning the platform in a frenzy of explosions and bloodshed as both sides fight for supremacy.

Slackjaw lets both barrels in both shotguns free as he sends one of the ghoul bodyguards to the floor. On enough chems to stop a Deathclaw's heart, Lockjaw employs his incredible ability to glide through the crossfire and get close enough to unleash a series of brutal machete strikes on the same target. Seemingly ending the man's life for good, he takes cover to await the next ghoul dumb enough to meet him on open ground. RJ has other plans for his fallen companion however and steps confidently out to send a burst of concentrated radiation towards the ground around them with a modified Gamma Gun. Not only does his ally get back to his feet, but this has a devastating effect on the unprotected Lockjaw as he is hit with enough rads to kill him if he had been sober when this fight began.

Using his loud speakers to blast inspirational music from his memory banks, Sir POSH rallies his friends and helps focus their minds with a rousing tune. Renewing their attack, they continue to whittle down RJ's entourage. The glowing one falls next, his brains dashed against the concrete as Lockjaw and Slackjaw use a combination of weapons and brutal attacks to crush his head into paste. Not without a steep cost, the pair also find themselves being struck by another deadly dose of rads as they try to end the fight as quickly as possible.

One of the toughest bastards still roaming the Dust Bowl, Rattlesnake Jim's luck finally runs out in his underground Lair to a series of misfortunes. The mysterious appearance of The Ratt King seems to set his fate in motion as the strange looking man wearing the Artifact from the Nameless City blinks into existence only long enough to drop a molotov cocktail on the ghoul and his surviving friends. The next fatal blow comes from a one-two punch from Slackjaw and Lockjaw. The first knocks his legs out from under him with a wad of BBS and the later gives him a deep cut across his chest with his serrated blade. Bleeding, on fire, and crawling to his throne for the benefit of the radiation, it is Sir POSH that finally ends his life. Cursing him for his malicious nature, the Eyebot turns his built-in laser to full power and fires a shot clean through his brain, ending Jim Sweeney's two-hundred year reign of terror over the Great Dust Bowl once and for all.

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