Eileen Dupont
Relationships
History
Eileen Dupont helped kill the beast that had killed one of her horses during Looking for buttercup
A vain, all the things all the time elf with an appreciation for good sex, better wine, and the best drugs. Not bad in itself if it weren't for the spending habits and the overinflated ego.
View Character Profile
Spouses
Siblings
Children
Remove these ads. Join the Worldbuilders Guild
When you thought ONE Leroy was enough
Entry for 4/1/21
Dear Diary,
Omg. Diary. Oh. My. God. Leroy has family in the area. I mean, I always KNEW he was from around here, but there are more of him. Like, a whole tribe of them. It's. Terrifying. But, totally worth wanting to pull my hair out in frustration of the sheer STUPID because it comes with moonshine. Like, they all make moonshine AND will smoke weed. It's not a perfect trade-off, but HOO that stuff is good. AND they had a job for us. Namely, the McCoy's land was all dying and stuff, and they thought the Hatfield's were causing it to happen through some ritual or something. We all met (Igor, Leroy, Elora, Ruby, and uh...someone else I'm SORRY Diary it's been a bit) Leroy's...mother? Aunt? I don't remember the relationship. Some lady named Dirty Tina and HOO she had some STORIES to tell. I miiight haven't gotten black-out drunk and done something (because moonshine, DUH), but thank GOD I don't remember. BUT, TWO things were totally worth the trip. FIRST, I got not one, but TWO jugs of moonshine (one from the Hatfields, one from the McCoys), which totally taste the same. They're probably going to find out that they actually all used to be the same family or something, which would be HILARIOUS. And TWO, I got to dress Leroy up to look like a GIRL. And you know what? I've got SKILL. Leroy was quite a cute girl, all things considered. Solid 6, or maybe a 7 if I was feeling generous. I just wish I could have managed to make it less...mullet-y. But Leenora (Leroy) turned out quite decent. I HAVE to come up with an excuse to visit there again so I can take another pass at it. We met the Hatfields when they were doing some sort of weird rituals, and I managed to convince them that I was lost to figure out what kind of weird nonsense they were doing. We all did weed together and I learned a...song of directions? To get back to town. They were soooo nice and gave the aforementioned moonshine. They were actually trying to perform a ritual to stop the decay from spreading to their side of the river, so they were totally innocent. We managed to find the problem, so that was cool. That was when I got blackout drunk from all the activities and again SOOO glad I don't remember.
ALSO I AM MORTIFIED. Ruby INSISTED that we go back to check on that Totem thing that I sold the info for and the lady was there and NOTICED me. I TRIED to keep my casting quiet but she SAW me. Like, sold the info whatever, it didn't seem THAT IMPORTANT, but now that I know that they are keeping some asshole god named Kezef contained to hold the balance of the world I might have fucked up. I mean, he might eat the world who cares, but most of my friends (ew) seem to care about that and I SUPPOSE I can't get high and drunk and fucked if everyone's dead so I GUESS I care about it too but OMG they almost found out I sold the info of the location to her. Thank GOD I did an excellent job of misdirecting them. [K: she did not]
So it turns out she was a part of a cult...order...thing? And she did NOT want to get caught, so she totally killed herself. THANK GOD. My secret is safe. No one will find out about the money thing. [K: -looks at the camera- -sighs- Eh, she'll figure it out.] It is a shame, though. She was kinda pretty. Ah well~. I can always go back and visit Grayson! He got that tattoo that we talked about however long ago. It's not like, my favorite thing in the world, but he's got enough muscles that I'm willing to overlook it. It's weird having a reoccurring partner. I mean, it's not bad, cause he's TOTALLY a dynamo in the sack, but normally people get sick of me by now or realize that I can't or don't have anything else to give them. Once they don't need anything from- NOPE. Not going down that path! Actually, I did score all that moonshine, and Grayson is nearby~
Bye Diary!
Basement Dwellers and Fire Men Egg Things
Entry for 03/19/21
Dear poor, UTTERLY NEGLECTED diary,
So I didn't realize that I forgot my journal at Rocca's place and OMG I couldn't write in here for aaaaaaaaaages I was so mad. ANYWAY, so we went to go do some mining or something (I was mostly there for what came AFTER the mining, because I was NOT going to ruin my nails) and found some sort of weird basement hatch thing in the middle of like, nowhere. When we went down into it there was some dead guy who's fashion sense was just as dead as he was. He looked like he was wearing Galdorean style armor, though OBVIOUSLY that hasn't been on trend since forever ago. There were also some mushrooms down there which totally did nothing except for explode into something (didn't even feel buzzed which was lame), as well as a bunch of stalactites (or is is stalagmites? Whatever. Cavey bullshit) Along the way we met an absolutely ADORABLE little jester person named Sunny, a funny little cat...child (ugh), and some other people. Sunny doesn't really make a lot of noise, but I bet I could make them loud if I REALLY put my mind to it, and BOOOOO Elora doesn't do WEED. Like, who doesn't do WEED? It's awesome. WHATEVER, at least she was willing to drink whiskey with me. That was fun. When we got to the bottom of the cave system or whatever there was a really deep pool thing down there with an alter at the bottom in a weird fountain formation thing. The water was so cold, but it felt so nice after getting all gross and sweaty fighting giant spider things. I don't think that the alter thingie was active, though. Just as well, OMG PUN.
We left the cave hatch thing and got back on track to go get this really cool metal stuff (I totally got Ruby to help me fashion it into an absolutely STUNNING hair piece once we got our hands on it, but the things that we got the metal from hatched into...large metal men. Now, don't get me wrong, metal can feel GREAT, but these were more of the 'I'm coming to kill you' kinda metal men and less of the 'I come with three settings' metal men, which again BOOOOO. But it's fine, we totally wiped the floor with the one that hatched. Oh right, the rock hatched. Did you know that metal men can hatch out of rocks? 'cause I certainly didn't before now. On the absolute downside, it was an AWFUL hair day. All that dry air made my hair frizz up, and not in the way that just gives it volume. I'm going to have to do some SERIOUS conditioning after this.
Yours once again,
Eileen
Visiting Ruby's House! And killing animals or some junk.
2/28/21
Dear Diary,
I revisited Rocca to get our payment from the whole evil person in a cave with the gnoll things, and I'm sorry to report that it was not as impressive as his last performance. Ugh. SO disappointed. Last time when he **** ** ** *** **** he was imaginative and creative even! This time when he ***** *** * ****** **** *** *** it felt FAR less inspired. I mean, I guess it was a LITTLE better than average. Though that might have been what we were on. STILL. I did my usual flair of AWESOME (even if I was a little tired). Anyway, I went out the next day to find some a nice sash for my outfit, and while I was there I found another job! I was a bit hungover (which is rather impressive) so I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but BUT it was for RUBY'S house! It was a little out of fashion, but it was still definitely an old money house and there were so many nice things~. Ruby DEFINITELY comes from money. She had money and looks~. God I can't wait to bang her. Luckily for me, Grayson was also along for the ride! And OH. MY. GOD. It was even BETTER than last time. I have GOT to keep him around, if only so I don't have to walk the next day. Basically he **** **** *** ****** **** *** (and she spends about three paragraphs on this nonsense) -with just the right amount of firmness~.
After a MIND BLOWING (among other things) night, we went to go look into some giant critters that had been spawning around, and they WERE a pretty decent side. On the upside, I now have two massive ram horns to turn into a flask! That'll look so adventure sheek! I'm thinking asking to get it carved with some flowers or maybe something less physical. That would look so pretty~. If I can make a second maybe I could sell it~!. Also, bear peeeelts! I have no interest in such things, but they sell well since bears are so BIG. I'd rather fox or mink pelts, but whatever beggers choosers all of that. It turns out that the river was the thing that was making the animals huge! So we followed the river and found out that there were some robed assholes that were doing crap to the water! Naturally I returned the favor and made Grayson and Ruby huge to help....deal with that. They caused some sort of bit yellow pee cloud which looked fucking disgusting, and when it hit some of our friends they went nuts and started ATTACKING us. RUDE. It wasn't their fault, but I got misted on and I was civil so WHATEVER. Anyway, I (in my INFINITE wisdom) figured out that there were three big nasty statues. Grayson and Ruby wrecked those statues with like...no issue whatsoever. Wait. Omg. Grayson was TWICE as large...this might be applicable to some of the smaller partners I've had. I could make their dicks twice as big! THE POSSIBILITIES.
So HOPEFULLY that solves the problem. Though it did seem like the assholes were not the head honchos. Maybe there's more going on there....?
Getting Trade Routes Up (And exploring a cave that isn't Eileen's)
3/3/21
Dear Diary,
Ruby totally missed out on the adventure, but Igor and that highly unintelligent Leroy came along with the ever enduringly adorable Elora! You can hardly tell she's missing her hair. I also met a kinda cute Bard named Sam, but he's not quite my type. Way too into his music or whatever. Anyway, we met up with Rocca, who gave us some things to help us out on our adventure (including some SWEET glowsticks that would be totally awesome for a rave.) We went into the Thistlefoot woods to figure out WHAT THE HOLDUP was for the drug trade routes, which turned out to be some giant wolf? cat? dog? something? creatures who were killing lumberfolk and who CLEARLY ate them afterwards. I've HEARD of gnolls before, but seeing them is way different. They were COVERED in FUR. They seemed kinda smart for a constructed being, though I guess technically they are not constructed anymore. I tied to get some of their mane for a muffler, but those dumb brutes knew NOTHING about proper hair care. It was positively riddled with fleas and bugs and the hair just fell off faster than Elora's did from that weird magic thingie! SUCH a WASTE. After the fur butts were dealt with (mainly thanks to Igor, though Beadle was trying to help), we entered the cave and found a bunch of random things, including this giant jelly like square thing that ATE both Sam and Igor. Poor dears. Their clothes must be ruined. Maybe I'll offer to clean them up later. We met some guy who hired the gnolls who apparently was PERFECTLY willing to let us just leave (we weren't doing too well after dealing with that clothing ruiner of a gunk) but then Beadle and Leroy went and agitated him and he tried to KILL us. Rude. It was close, and we ended up leaving poor Sam behind, but we got away.
Now all that's left to do is give Rocca that itemized list and talk about payment. Hm...maybe I should start like...a guild or something. Then I could manage all this bullshit without having to get my clothes dirty. OH! Also, there was another one of those weird magical so and sos in that cave.
Making New Friends in Port Domina (and Out) as well as going through an abandoned Advent
2/22/21
Dear Diary
I was heading towards Port Domina when I met this absolute HUNK of a man named Grayson who was going back the way I came. The man's muscles had muscles! I bet he could **** ** *********. I wonder if the weapon in his pants is as big as the one on his back! He needed help on something, but he needed to go back in the direction I just came from! Lame, I know. But not all was lost. I met this decently hot man named Dovan when I was trying to get the hookup on something to make me feel shiny. Well, after that whole bartering for info thing that I did with some lady named Varsha Hedvig. 27 gold later and I'm up a positively FETCHING new outfit AND a disgusting wine in my hand. Yes. So I was at this tavern called Night's Eye drinking this WRETCHED wine and this fellow dressed in noble's clothes who was selling Salja. It's new to me and NOT at ALL what I was hoping for, but it does have some nice side effects, like the wine stopped tasting like bad grapes. We came to an agreement, and then we both came. Several times. It was rather magical. I really wish he would have (nope, not gonna) -brief skip-, but he was INCREDIBLY attentive and the things that man did with his **** **** ******* **** ** ******** made my head spin. And it wasn't just once. The man had STAMINA. When he ******* I ***** *** ***** **** (still not gonna). -some elaboration later-
The next morning I found out that I am MISSING OUT on the GOOD SHIT. Dovan told me that his supplier's haven't been able to get into the city because something nasty was trolling the woods and killing the couriers! This is UNACCEPTABLE. I don't think that I'm quite capable of taking that on my own little delicate self, but if I recall correctly Ruby lives in that area. Perhaps I could convince her to come with in the name of justice or some crap like that. I mean, no one likes having big mean things in the woods, right? And possibly Igor too. I imagine the idea of extra dead bodies might be enough to pull him into it. This sounds like an excellent plan, and I will try it on them next I see them. Well, once I do this whole Hunk Advent adventure thing. I'm NOT a liar, and I wouldn't want to miss out on a chance to get to know him a bit better. ADVENTure?
Dear Diary
First off, OH MY FUCKING GOD I've seen HEAVEN and its name is SEX. Today we went to the town of Advent to go investigate a mudslide? Seems really straightforward if you ask me, but whatever. It paid. So anyway, first we went to this creepy smelter area following the I hate to see you go but love to watch you leave Grayson. Did I mention how tight his ass is? You could crack a walnut. ALSO. I met something called a Tortle? It's like a turtle person and HE COULD DO THE NECK THING. With the putting his head in his shell! It's ADORABLE. Little(ish) dude is named Tot! What a funny name. There was also this very grubby little man named Beadle. I think he's a wizard. His beard was absolutely filthy, but I in all my grace was kind enough to clean it up for him. Can't much help the rest of that mess, though. Back to the events. So we went and looked in this silver smithing place, which was riddled with disgusting water (thank the gods I wore galoshes. Completely unflattering but it does protect from dirt.) and SKELETONS! Like. ANIMATED. SKELETONS. At least they were relatively not fleshy. It also turns out that Ruby and Igor showed up for this job, so I was able to ask about the forest thing AND IT WORKED! Yes! With all of use we fairly wiped the disgusting floor with their boney asses. Ruby looked beguiling as ever~. After the smelter we went to the bar, which had the meaty iteration. I got to really practice on using my frost spells! So gross. But there was whiskey~. Oh, and some Greenmoon (that is what Eileen calls weed). After our little jaunt to the pub, we headed to the nicest house in town (Ruby and Beadle wanted to do some grave robbing, but I JUST had my nails done so that wasn't happening) but if the rich people of town were dead, who would appreciate their things if not us? That house was also teeming with the fleshy grossness, as well as an animated shadow? I found the best method was to just frost ray whatever was in front of Rudy or Grayson. They fell pretty quickly that way. The house was fairly nice. Probably like...a 7 out of 10 on the nice house scale? It was going fine until Grayson slammed the door IN MY FACE. Rude. He was probably going through something personal or whatever. I got some pretty pink gemstones and EXTRA greenmoon. It's going to be a nice couple of days~. After that, however...
Grayson found me while I was packing up Duchess (in all her glory) to head back towards Port Dov- Domina, and asked where Duchess stabled. I, being a kind and generous soul, offered to show him where she came from, as he was heading to Port Domina as well after he got a horse. Then everything just kind of...happened. Oh. My. God. TEN out of TEN. No. TWENTY out of ten. My eyes rolled so far into the back of my head that I'm pretty sure they popped out of the base of my skull. It was lucky I was riding a horse, because walking would have been very difficult. Plus the saddle kept hitting my *****, which was just a BONUS. Nice little reminder. We're heading to Port Domina now. Hopefully the woods progress as well as the house did! Maybe adventuring isn't so bad after all. Two 10 experiences in a row are rare to come by. Perhaps my luck will hold~. At least I now have two sources of reliable performance. Might have to keep Grayson handy for when I need a little pick me up~.
Very Satisfied,
Eileen
I've ARRIVED (she has indeed)
Feb 8th, Eileen
Dear Diary,
So I finally left home, and oh. my. god. There are so many WEIRD people in the world. Well, and less weird ones. I met some new people, and two of them are totally fuckable. There's this giant of a woman named Eelora Moonshine (already halfway to having my attention, though I am definitely more of a wine or whiskey person) who has hand that are so strong they could break bone, or at least leave some absolutely gorgeous bruises (yes please). She has the cutest accent and I'd give her a solid 8.5 in the looks department. She'd be so cute laying naked on a bed of leaves and she's probably the type to make ADORABLE noises when she ****** **** **** and couldn't **** ** *** ******. (Okay....keep it in your pants, Eileen) Then there's this woman named Ruby Shadowsomething. She's the stature of a noble and the temperment of someone that'd I'd like to **** ** **** *** **** ** ** ***** **** before she **** ** ******** *** **** ** ***** *** ***** (not that I'd ever would because I love it so) but if I'm lucky she might stick around long enough to **** ** **** *** ********* and **** my ****** until I couldn't walk straight, then (Kat is going to stop here. You get the jiist and she gets very...enthusiastic in her descriptions.)
(Let's just skip to the next...no not that one....or that one....both? Wow. Okay....there we go)
Anyway, other than that there's a man named Igor who is frankly, ew. But his work is impeccable, from what I've seen, though we do disagree on which stitch is the best stitch. Though it's totally a different material so I kinda get it. Doesn't mean he looks less of the quilt of people. A really gross and funny old quilt that you really don't want anywhere near your bed or wall displays. Again, though, impeccable work. I wonder if I could interest him in trying embroidery.... Then there's this very unintelligent elf (he's a forest elf, so I suppose I shouldn't have expected much) who seems way too into horses, he's kinda cute? In like....a not...sexy way? I'd give him maybe a 7, if I was being generous or were about 3 glasses in.
Oh. My. GODS. SERIOUSLY? Who knew adventuring was so HARD?! We went to go find some stupid horse and wound up getting attacked by plants! And while the vines held some promise it just knocked me out in almost six seconds flat! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ENJOY THE BRUISE. So. Lame. But whatever, Igor was kind enough to help me get back up (it's amazing, his stitch work is so good I can't even SEE it. And I'm pretty certain he said he did boobs. Maybe I could...ugh. Probably don't have enough money for that. Dammit mom and dad! Give me back my allowance! And even worse, the horse was already dead! How dumb of a quest! It was a pretty awful thing to do to such a creature (and the horse) so we went to go find what killed the pony, which looked like the IGOR of ANIMALS. All the wrong bits in all the wrong places. Then we went down a giant hole (don't worry, I took off my shoes when I found out there was bat shit everywhere), and fought some awful bats. Stuptid things apparently took notes from the plants, because one of the big ones also decided that I was too pretty to live, and I got knocked out in about 18 seconds AGAIN. Thankfully Igor was there to keep me in my beautiful, completely flawless form in tact. As well as Eelara. I MUST figure out what type of liquor she keeps in those pristine breasts, because it is DELISH. We did find a magical dohicky which seemed to be magical hair removal, though it's too bad that it was Eelora was the one to touch it. She had such fine fur. Poor thing went completely bald, knocking her down to a 5 with all those extra folds. Not my scene. Igor (blessed be his hideously crooked soul) was nice enough to offer to make her hair plugs, but we had to go off and try and kill some wolf to do it. We did end up collapsing the tunnel thing the artifact was in (which I am cataloguing where). So we killed the wolf almost no problem, and it would have been totally fine if that stupid beast of a dog didn't have friends. I had to use some of my perfectly wonderful perfume to try and throw the dogs off our scent! Anyway, with the job done and buttercup the horse VERY dead, we got paid, and Leroy's (the elvish simpleton who by absolutely no fault of my own is now convinced that books are evil trees) employer was kind enough to gift us all horses (which is NOT economically sensible, but whatever). She gifted to me my Duchess (the horse). She's kind of a bitch, but I ADORE her. And once she bit me (of all the things to be bitten by. Ah well) she calmed down a bit. She really likes being brushed, which I totally appreciate.
Comments