Daeva (DAY-vuh)

What a silly thing to say, my love. Of course you can't live without me.

Vampire the Requiem - Core Rulebook
The Daeva are emotional, sensual and desirable. Sexual predators and sensual hedonists alike populate the ranks of these succubi-seducers.
Among Kindred historians, the Daeva are suspected of being one of the oldest clans of the Damned. Their moniker suggests a Persian mythological origin, and their abilities suggest that they could be related to the demons from which they take their name. A few ancient writings suggest that the progenitor of the line was a Kindred known as Aesma Daeva, but vampiric scholars debate whether this individual was actually undead or the writings merely draw comparisons to the Persian demon of lust and anger.
The name “Daeva” predates the commonly accepted origin point of Kindred society, generally understood to parallel the ascension of Rome. Certainly, some incarnation of the Daeva existed before then, but whether they had their own society or were merely a rabble of lust-crazed revenants is unknown. After the rise of Rome, the Daeva had become an inextricable part of Kindred society, and vampiric history shows that they were very active in the Camarilla, the first known social contract of the undead.

  Other Kindred envy their beauty and grace, their ability to incite passion in mortals, the ease with which they glide through the masses — and that envy is almost as potent a draught to the Daeva as blood itself. These Kindred are consummate predators, and they would seem to be the perfect vampires. Alas, most are too dead inside to enjoy it.
Called Succubi by other clans, the Daeva are experts at making their prey come to them, practically offering themselves not merely as food but as playthings. No self-respecting Daeva resorts to attacking transients in alleyways. Rather, these are the Kindred who accompany a smitten young mortal back to her place, leaving her languid and sexually spent by morning (if she’s fortunate) or an exsanguinated husk (if she’s not). Seducers and sensualists, the Daeva could practically charm the unease off a Nosferatu. When the fancy strikes them, they play politics like a finely tuned instrument. Even Allies and coconspirators who know they cannot trust a Succubus find themselves lulled into doing just that, caught up in the Daeva’s personal magnetism. Daeva become Harpies more than Kindred of any other clan, and they wield that power mercilessly. A stinging rebuke from a Daeva Harpy can shred a vampire’s reputation faster than a denunciation by the Prince himself.
Most Succubi are overtly sensual beings, drawn by beauty and blood in equal measure, but it’s an artificial passion. Their ability to feel true attachment to other people atrophies over years of manipulating the love of mortals and the respect of their fellow Kindred, until the Daeva can no longer understand those emotions as anything other than tools to be exploited and motions to imitate. For all their apparent fervor, most Succubi are as dead spiritually as they are physically. They claim to understand desire, but all they truly know is need, and it is this deadening of emotions that causes so many jaded Daeva to become depraved in their efforts to feel again.
Daeva move through the circles of society in which their lustful natures best serve them, whether among high society or low culture. Drawn to beauty and congregations of mortals, they often frequent theaters, galleries, trendy Daeva clubs, whiskey dives, drug dens, brothels and everything in between. Personal preferences aside, the Succubi are found through all strata of society. Their seductive natures allow these vampires to find willing vessels no matter where they go, and this ability has enabled them to thrive, to become arguably one of the most numerous clans. No single social class has room for them all, so newcomers and losers of political and social games often find themselves dwelling among the poor and unwashed — or at least the middle classes, which, since their blood is as red as any other, means basically the same thing to most Succubi. Few Kindred are as desperate as a Daeva trying to claw his way into his own niche. Wise Kindred know better than to take advantage of a Daeva in such a position, for fear he’ll one night achieve the position and privilege he seeks. The Succubi never forget a slight.

Culture

Culture and cultural heritage

With a growing number of exceptions, Daeva are Embraced from the ranks of society’s elite. Succubus sires look for some combination of charm, culture, seductiveness, desire to achieve, passion and physical beauty. Many Daeva Embrace mortals to whom they have become attached, but this attachment almost invariably proves false, a mixture of lust and simple hunger. Few relationships are as euphoric as those between a Daeva and a newly Embraced childe, and few grow cold as swiftly.

Common Dress code

Appearance: Daeva often Embrace out of infatuation — or at least going through the motions of passion — and they rarely choose to involve themselves with unattractive mortals. Thus, most Daeva are surpassingly beautiful. The clan is also highly in tune with trends and fashion, the better to prowl among and attract prey.

Art & Architecture

Havens: Daeva havens vary, but they’re almost universally comforting… in a subtly alarming way that suggests an artificial appeal to whatever vessels a Kindred favors. Most are convenient to social or political centers. The specific aesthetics vary, but most are intended to impress any compatriots, Allies or victims who might be invited in. Penthouses and condominiums are particularly popular. Many Daeva don’t bother to keep up appearances if they don’t think they’ll bring prey home, meaning that some havens are sloppy or cluttered with unsettling reminders of previous vessels’ presence.

Common Customs, traditions and rituals

Nomads

Of all the clans, it would appear that the Daeva have the least reason to abandon a refined urban Requiem in favor of the loneliness and uncertainty of the road. Their lust for mortal adoration and the (mostly) bloodless warfare of the Danse Macabre would seem to virtually demand a stable, populous setting for the Daeva to thrive in. Highways and truck stops are no place for a would-be Harpy, nor are there many Beautiful People to be found in places like Bucksnort, Tennessee. There are a significant number of Daeva nomads roaming the world, however, having turned their back on a settled existence. Some have been driven from their domains by rivals, while others have grown bored with the limited pickings that any one city can afford. Still others take to the road because of the risk, eager to experience something, anything that will rekindle a flicker of passion in their dead hearts.
Certainly the most common reason for a Daeva to leave a settled existence behind is because she had no other choice. The Succubi play the social game better than anyone, but even they can find themselves outfought and outmaneuvered by a canny rival. Sometimes a catastrophic loss of Status and prestige is a prelude to more permanent forms of conflict — a Kindred with neither becomes easy prey for her enemies. Having been “thrown to the wolves”, as the saying goes, sometimes the only alternative available is to pack up and get out of town for a while until things blow over and the tide turns once more. Indeed, the Daeva have a reputation for slinking into the shadows after a devastating defeat and disappearing for literal decades, only to return when their rivals are at their most vulnerable. These Succubi sometimes relocate temporarily to other domains, but many simply stay on the move, licking their wounds and biding their time until they can set their plans for revenge into motion.
Conversely, some Daeva become victims of their own success. Even in the world’s greatest metropolises, there are only so many exquisite men and women to seduce, only so many iterations of scandal and intrigue that one can pursue before it all becomes so dreadfully boring. Daeva who find themselves in possession of the best mortal vessels and the highest social position their domain can offer quickly suffer from ennui. Many turn to ever more decadent pastimes in an attempt to feed their lustful appetites; some, however, decide to abandon their home for richer pickings elsewhere. Often these Daeva settle in another nearby domain, but some discover the joys of traveling from town to town, staying only long enough to pluck the ripest fruit from each social garden before moving on. Many urban Daeva refer to these social poachers as “homewreckers” for the ruin they typically leave in their wake.
Most dangerous of all, however, are those Daeva who accept the peril of a nomadic existence to challenge the dangers involved. They seek the thrill of racing against the sunrise and risking the depredations of Lupines or worse because they hunger for a glimmer of real passion, something many have not felt for years. When the sweet taste of Seduction is gone, when the thrill of intrigue and scandal loses its savor, all that remains is the terror of oblivion and the savage joy of rapine. These thrill-seeking Daeva are among the deadliest predators of all. They often come to a brutal, fiery end, but in the meantime the world is theirs for the taking. The Daeva have some strong innate advantages as Kindred rovers. Their Disciplines are all highly relevant to the immediate challenges of the road: Majesty for sustenance, Celerity for defense and Vigor for “the best defense.” Certainly, every Discipline has its uses while traveling, but the Daeva’s particular mix makes them more versatile than other Kindred who can easily feed from mortals, but may not be up to fending off a fellow predator.
That said, their weakness in the face of temptation can throw a serious hitch in their plans — sometimes by making them stand out in a new place, but more commonly by making it hard to deal with longtime mortal companions. It all depends on the nature of a Daeva’s Vice, of course, but Succubi who are cruel or thoughtless to mortal Allies may find themselves abandoned in time of need. This is less likely to happen with Ghouls: typically, a ghoul pushed to his breaking point by a vampire goes apeshit instead of just taking a hike.
Daeva in Road Coteries
The Daeva in a mixed traveling group has some obvious uses. Of course, every vampire is different, unique and individual, but a Daeva who develops her clan Disciplines is suited to a few particular roles, no matter what additional roles are enhanced by her qualities as an individual.
Daeva in traveling coteries often gravitate to the following roles.
Frontman
A coterie of nomads can’t help but come to the attention of the locals if its members linger in any small city or town for more than a couple of nights. When that happens, the roamers might have some explaining — or deal making — to do. Having a polished and capable negotiator in their court is a distinct advantage for any nomad coterie.
Daeva are ideally suited to this role, both for their natural charisma and social instincts as well as a somewhat negative stereotype that canny Succubi can play to their favor. The cliché of the shallow, somewhat vapid Daeva hedonist invites underestimation by haughty Ventrue Princes and upright Primogen, creating opportunities a clever negotiator can exploit.
Daeva negotiators are invaluable because they are ideally equipped to sort out the complicated social and political threads of a Kindred domain; they can quickly seize on who and what to exploit in the coterie’s favor. The Daeva frontman has to deal with the inevitable prejudice townies have for nomadic Kindred, not to mention possible meddling by local Harpies who might resent a social interloper The payoff is potentially much higher, however, if the negotiations are successful. Daeva frontmen can ingratiate the coterie with local Kindred in need of a little short-term assistance against their rivals — or just as importantly avoid being scapegoated by an elder with an ax to grind. With someone who can engage the townies on their own terms, an urban domain can become a source of opportunity for a nomad coterie instead of hostile territory.
A Daeva frontman can also be invaluable as an advocate in the event that the coterie’s stay in a domain goes awry. A typical urban domain is a potential viper’s nest in the best of times, and it’s not hard at all for a nomad to accidentally — or intentionally — offend one of the locals. In cases like this, a great deal of trouble can be avoided if the coterie has someone who can speak directly and effectively to the local authorities on the coterie’s behalf. This doesn’t ensure success, of course (especially if the authorities engineered the incident in the first place), but it provides the coterie with more tools at their disposal other than an ignominious retreat or an ill-advised attack.
Aside from acquired Skills in social manipulation and persuasion, Majesty is a Daeva frontman’s stock in trade when winning hearts and minds in an urban domain. Unlike the more oppressive Dominate, most Kindred appreciate the artistic use of Majesty in swaying an individual to the Daeva’s point of view. It’s difficult to complain of supernatural influence when one is dealing with an avowed Succubus, after all.
Bait
The far more obvious role for the Daeva is to crank up the Majesty, wander into a bookstore, strike up a conversation about Milan Kundera with some likely nebbish, tell her that her observations on Czechoslovakian culture are fascinating, then ask if she would like to continue them “over coffee? Maybe a drink?” He then leads her out to where he or his buddies can ambush her, drain her dry and stuff her in a culvert for some unfortunate sanitation worker to find. This sort of behavior is a common part of the vampire legend because it works. Not every nomad strategy has to be clever and convoluted.
Majesty is a key feeding Discipline and it’s particularly attractive to drifters. Often, they’re less concerned about making the victim forget, either because they have no intention of letting her live or because they figure they can outrun trouble. Better yet, Majesty works on groups, which is particularly handy when you’re playing provider for several vampires, not just yourself.
Nomads as a whole are more likely to feed together and cooperate while procuring Vitae — not because they want to, but because they may have to. Where a settled vampire can take a few subtle nips here and there, nomads are more inclined to make a single “big score” so they can get on with whatever else they want to do — often, just riding to the next town. Where a city vampire may feed lightly every night, nomads are much more likely to feed hugely once a week. That strategy is particularly prominent among groups with a Daeva who regularly uses Majesty to lure large numbers of mortals into jeopardy.
Groups that fall into this pattern often end up dominated by the Daeva. After all, if he’s bringing home the bacon, he calls the shots, right? The smart Daeva is a benevolent leader; all the problems that redound on Daeva who abuse their Ghouls are tripled for Daeva who mistreat their Kindred Allies.
Scout
Just as a Herd moves only as fast as the slowest cow, and just as a chain is only as strong as the weakest link, a coterie is only as subtle as its most obvious member. Rather than roll into town together, then, it makes sense for a traveling coterie to send a stealthier member in ahead to look around and report back. If you send four scouts, that’s four times as many people who can attract unwanted attention. If you send just one, she hangs only herself if she fails.
Now, “Daeva” and “stealth” aren’t tightly associated concepts in the minds of most Kindred. They’re more likely to picture the stereotypical Succubus showoff. This is actually an advantage for an infiltrating drifter. No one who realizes she’s Daeva will suspect her of spying, and no one who catches her spying will expect her to be a Daeva.
On closer inspection, of course, this prejudice that Daeva aren’t sneaky is groundless. A scout needs to be mobile, so Celerity fits as if tailor-made. Furthermore, if a scout is going to learn any detail about the social elements of a city’s Kindred, she needs to get people to talk… which is where Majesty becomes useful. (Of course, it’s also highly useful for talking oneself out of a sticky situation when captured.) The standard procedure (if “standard” has any meaning when applied to a group as diverse, rare and idiosyncratic as nomad Kindred) is for the bulk of the coterie to find some temporary Haven outside of town, somewhere defensible but barren — if it’s a lousy place to feed, all the better, since that reduces the chance of Kindred attention.
While they’re holed up in some self-storage unit or decommissioned sewage plant, the Daeva gets on a motorcycle or in a fast car and takes a cruise through the city Rack. If she spots a vampire who provokes a fear response, she’s already on the move away. If she leans toward aggression, she can either try to wrestle down the urge or hope that the lesser predator bolts before she can turn around and find a parking spot.
On this first night, her goal is to cover as much ground as possible, identifying area Kindred without engagement and finding mediocre feeding grounds that won’t attract a permanent resident, but that are good enough for her gang to hit for a couple nights. She comes back, makes her report to her pals (who are probably pretty ravenous, unless they’ve scrounged something at the hideout or were lucky enough to top off before arriving) and they slumber out the day.
The next night, her friends move to a likely neighborhood, the one the Daeva identified the night before. While they get their Haven set and start some kind of food maneuver, she returns to areas of thick Kindred occupation. If one of her coterie-mates is capable of Obfuscate, bringing him along is a good bet — he can stay hidden and suborn his own Predator’s Taint issues as she points out the locals and, if necessary, restrains him, helps him hide or (last resort) helps him with his fight if he slips the leash and gets physical. When they’re acclimated, either on that night or the next, they can start gathering information (using Obfuscate for him, Majesty for her) to get some kind of overview on what the locals want, believe and are doing.
What happens next depends on the goals of the coterie. Maybe they want to rest up, feed full, go to the symphony, then hit the road without interacting with the local powers that be. If they have a deeper or more long-term goal, the Daeva may serve as ambassador — after all, most Daeva possess a potent array of social skills and Majesty to boot. But in any event, her role as scout has made further opportunity possible.
Muscle
Sure, a Gangrel may offer one a challenge and a Nosferatu may score some brutal hits. All other things being equal, though, Daeva tend to be the nastiest clan in a fight, ounce for ounce. This is not least because they like fights best when all other things aren’t equal. With a potent combination of Majesty, Vigor and Celerity, a Daeva is deadly as a cobra. She transfixes her victim with a look from her eyes and strikes a Vigor-fueled blow before he can blink. Daeva don’t fight. They kill, quickly, coldly and efficiently.

Major organizations

Status among the Daeva is entirely a social issue, and many young ones resemble squabbling cliques more so than undying creatures of the night. Not even elder Daeva are strangers to petty vendettas and long-nursed grudges. While a Succubus is likely to join with one of her own in the face of an outside threat, they compete with one another as much as they do with other Kindred, if not more so. The Daeva therefore have no true formal structure. Those who are dominant in the Danse Macabre’s social and political scene are dominant among the clan as well.

Covenant

The majority of these Kindred are found within The Invictus. They are well suited to the political game, and here they can surround themselves with lessers, becoming ever more jaded and inhuman as they grow older. Most Daeva are too self-centered to feel the religious calling of The Lancea Sanctum, but those few exceptions who are able to channel their sensual drive into matters of faith often obtain positions of prominence, making the clan seem more numerous in The Lancea Sanctum than it really is. Few Daeva bother with the Carthians. Why fight for an egalitarian society when the current system favors the Daeva? The Ordo Dracul covenant is home to a small number of devoted Daeva, and it would have more if the rigors of the covenant’s policies didn’t make being a hedonist among its ranks less than rewarding. The Circle of the Crone has few Daeva for much the same reasons as The Lancea Sanctum, and those who do join often do so more out of a debased and jaded sense of rebellion against societal mores than any real belief in the Pagans’ teachings. A surprising number of Succubi fall in among The Unaligned, convinced, in their own self-perceived superiority, that they have no need for the laws and restrictions of society.

Coteries

In the eyes of the Daeva, no other clan is discerning enough to appreciate the dramatic nuances of their nightly performance. Consequently, much of their performance is carefully conducted in front of one another lest it be wasted on philistines. Succubi often find that they have more in common with one another than they do with other members of their covenant. They also find the demands of the covenants to be irritants, so single-clan coteries of Daeva, both unbound and loosely affiliated, are not at all uncommon. The problem with Daeva coteries, however, is that the more Succubi there are together, the more they egg one another on and the more extreme their behavior becomes. Peer pressure drives Succubi coteries to do things that their members would never do on their own, and the results of that dynamic are rarely constructive.
It’s a wonder the Daeva get anything done on a nightly basis, given that the group has to work around the collective lusts and Vices of its members. Yet they can accomplish a great deal provided their members can show some self-control. Daeva coteries are most effective when most of the members have high Willpower ratings, allowing the group to focus more easily on the business at hand.
Among its members, a Daeva coterie is likely to possess all of the Social Skills, especially Persuasion, Socialize and Subterfuge, and most at remarkable levels of proficiency. This serves most coteries quite well, especially when backed up with ample ratings in the Herd and Status Merits.
A coterie that doesn’t want to be powerful only in social conflicts, however, might want to focus on more physical and mental Skills. While they don’t always acknowledge it, the Daeva are well suited to violence thanks to the clan Disciplines of Celerity and Vigor. Succubi who focus on combat Skills and Disciplines could easily become some of the most dangerous Kindred in their domain.
Socialites
The simplest and most common of the Daeva coteries are exquisite collections of witty, charming and lovely courtiers devoted entirely to the ongoing game of social standing. All members of such a coterie know how to flatter, flirt and jest in a charming and captivating fashion even as they discretely glance around the room for prettier, wittier or more powerful Kindred upon whom to work their wiles. Socialite coteries are concerned almost exclusively with their standing in the city’s social hierarchy. The role of the Status Merit in coteries of such characters is easily summed up: More is better. Due to the mercurial nature of fashion and social standing, the behavior of these types of coteries can be unpredictable. Last week’s ally might be next week’s target. One minute, they’re attending a concert by a critically acclaimed pianist; the next, they’re hosting a lavish ball. The next, they’re gathered around a mortal victim in the basement of an exclusive sex club competing to see who can inflict the most agonizing torments or the most debased pleasures. Appearances are everything to members of socialite coteries, and they will be seen only in the hippest and most glamorous gatherings of a city’s Kindred.
Debauchees
It happens from time to time that entire coteries of Daeva fall prey to the curse of their clan, give way to their baser natures and revel in perversion and vice. This is a relatively common outcome when the Succubi grow jaded with mere beauty or Status and begin craving more thrilling fare to overcome the emptiness of death. On their own, individual Daeva Kindred might become solitary blood addicts or practitioners of some extreme indulgence or another. When several such Daeva gather themselves into a coterie, however, they can create a vice ring of their very own. What begins as decadent fun or mild obsession, however, can often turn into a degenerating spiral of peer pressure and excess. Such Kindred often nudge one another further along the decadent path they share, and they viciously turn on any member who tries to escape the cycle or call attention to what’s happening. Such coteries have been responsible for some of the most vile torments and perversions inflicted on Kindred or kine throughout history, and savvy Kindred keep an eye on Daeva coteries that might have gone down this road.
Widows
Sometimes the Daeva grow tired of fighting against the emptiness of the Requiem with their petty games, and they fall into the cold hollow of their undead existence. When a number of these burnout Succubi gather in a coterie, they are occasionally called widows (regardless of the gender of the group’s members). For these Daeva, the charm of society, the allure of petty games and the striving to reclaim the warmth of life all fall by the wayside as the Succubi forge themselves into icons of walking death. Acknowledging their emptiness, they adopt the trappings of death and bereavement — black lace, funereal attire and the associated symbolism of death — as their own. This they do as a means of accepting that they have lost what they were in their breathing days. As their unlives have been drained of color, they wear (and surround themselves with) only black. As they give in to a kind of vampiric Depression, widow coteries can take their toll on the morale of a city’s Kindred. Coteries of this sort may form when burnout Daeva gather, or when a Daeva coterie of another type suffers some kind of shock (anything from an epic embarrassment to the Final Death of one of its members).
Mainstream Daeva see widow coteries as collections of fallen Daeva who succumbed to the desolation of the Requiem when their passions weren’t enough to keep them engaged. The moment a coterie of widows forms, its members are all instant pariahs in the eyes of all other Daeva in the area. Other Succubi disinvite them from all social functions and steer clear of them, as though their condition were contagious. For their part, widow coteries see other Daeva as fools fighting against the inevitable.
Thugs
In general, the Succubi are lovers, not fighters, but the Daeva’s passionate natures and combat prowess sometimes come together in a wholly destructive way that makes them nothing but bullies and brutes. They take what they want, rough up anyone they don’t like and might even ignore the sanctity of Elysium. Daeva coteries that make violence the crown jewel in their Requiem have been known to terrorize entire cities with their strong-arm tactics. Individual Kindred refuse to stand up to such coteries. Those who do get sent violently into Torpor or to Final Death, and the whole of Elysium caters to their every whim, lest the Succubi’s vice-ridden natures go off. Able Princes, of course, tend to nip such obnoxious coteries in the bud, either with a stern warning or with a strategic blood hunt (or two), but in cities where authority is weak or absent, where the Prince needs the coterie for whatever reason or even when the authority itself is a bully coterie, these sorts of Daeva can take root and all but take over. Elders engaged in the Danse Macabre love such thug coteries because they make excellent heavy artillery for their bigger strategic lunges.
Critics
Similar to socialite coteries, the critic coterie exists not to move up the social ladder itself, but to push others down. Such coteries deal in malicious gossip, cruel repartee and other people’s secrets. The Daeva aren’t as good at gathering information as the Mekhet are, but they twist any information they do uncover to make it as damning as possible to the subject. Critic coteries are often affiliated with a city’s Harpies in some way, or they strive to be if they’re not. Sometimes they take it upon themselves to investigate the activities of other Kindred just so they can keep a Harpy up to date (whether or not the Harpy wants them to). Coteries of this sort take a deep delight in others’ misery and destruction, but they often bring upon themselves the wrath of those they discredit. More than one coterie of critics has been marked for Final Death by a Kindred it humiliated.
Nickname: Succubi (male Daeva are sometimes called Incubi, bu the clan itself is referred to by the mroe common female sobriquet) Character Creation: Social Attributes and Skills are of primary concern, particularly those that aid in making good first impressions, in persuading and in seducing. Social Merits are equally common, representing the character’s connections to both mortal and Kindred society. Given that most Daeva feed almost exclusively through manipulation and betrayal, a high starting Humanity score is a good idea, since it’s likely to fall precipitously.
Favored Attributes: Dexterity or Manipulation
Clan Disciplines: Celerity, Majesty, Vigor
Weakness: Perhaps out of some deep longing for the true passions they lost after the Embrace, the Daeva have difficulty steeling themselves against the hedonism they allow themselves as members of the Damned. Any time a Daeva has an opportunity to indulge her Vice but does not do so, she loses two points of Willpower (as opposed to gaining one by partaking in its pleasures).
Concepts: Bored socialite, club hopper, club owner, cult leader, cultured serial killer, full-time Harpy, jaded vampire who gets off on being a creature of the night (a fairly melodramatic attitude found only among the very young before the weight of the Requiem fully settles on them), Kindred politico, local covenant spokesman, patron of the arts, professional “escort”

Stereotypes

Gangrel: They are beasts, to be sure, but their animal bodies contain a terrible ferocity.
Mekhet: They confine themselves to the shadows, but out of comfort or fear?
Nosferatu: They wear on the outside what all Kindred are within.
Ventrue: Which is the greater curse to bear, weakness of mind or the responsibilities of keeping one's fellows?
***
Lupines: No thank you. The Gangrel are quite feral enough.
Mages: The idea of a mortal with that sort of power is...fascinating. Surely they wouldn't mind conversing for just a bit.
Mortals: Such simple creatures. I'm grateful not being one any longer. Still...I do wish I could remember just a bit more clearly what it felt like.