Children of Judas
Look upon what you have wrought and feel the weight of your soul’s despondency
In some parts of the world, people who commit suicide are said to come back as vampires. This legend may have some connection to the bloodline called the Children of Judas. Where the Children of Judas dwell, suicides increase — and some of these suicides become Children of Judas themselves.
Many Kindred hate and fear the so-called Suicide Kings. A cynic might suggest the Kindred hate and fear most other Kindred, but the Children of Judas endure extra suspicion. The Suicide Kings bring the siren call of self-destruction to other vampires as well as mortals. Perhaps this bloodline receives too much blame: Kindred can feel horror, remorse and despair without any help. The Damned may not want to admit how many of them choose suicide. When their fellows destroy themselves, it’s more comforting to blame an outside force than to suggest they had reason for such self-loathing.
The Children of Judas emerge from the Daeva clan. The Succubi slake their own desires by arousing the desires of others. The Suicide Kings gain the power to arouse the darkest, most enigmatic and perverse desire of all.
No one’s sure when the Children of Judas originated. The legend connecting vampires with suicide dates back to antiquity. Despite the bloodline’s name, however, members do not claim that their lineage began with Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Christ. Rather, they see a spiritual connection to the traitor disciple: Judas destroyed what he should have loved most, and killed himself in remorse. Many Children of Judas feel they, too, have betrayed what they love and destroyed themselves. They know all Kindred eventually must feel this self-hate as well.
The bloodline calls its alleged founder the Hanged Man. As a mortal, the Hanged Man supposedly lived in the Balkans during the late Middle Ages. The story goes that the Hanged Man was a vampire-hunter. After he retired, a vengeful vampire massacred the vampirehunter’s family, then Embraced the hunter when he tried to hang himself in grief. The Hanged Man pursued his sire for decades before destroying her, then joined The Lancea Sanctum for an unlife of penance and renewed service to God. He is said to have destroyed himself in the 18th century, in an attempt at martyrdom.
Over the centuries, the Hanged Man sired a number of childer who sired childer of their own. The bloodline also adopted a number of Daeva who fell prey to self-disgust or who wished to add the Children of Judas’ power of Despond to their cruel schemes. One legend of the bloodline, however, says that Suicide Kings may arise spontaneously. If a Daeva Embraces a mortal who’s dying from an attempt at suicide, the childe supposedly bears the Judas taint and shall inevitably make the transition to the bloodline without any help. Some Kindred loremasters believe the Hanged Man was merely a noteworthy case of such spontaneous emergence, in a bloodline that may be as old as the Kindred themselves.
Many Kindred hate and fear the so-called Suicide Kings. A cynic might suggest the Kindred hate and fear most other Kindred, but the Children of Judas endure extra suspicion. The Suicide Kings bring the siren call of self-destruction to other vampires as well as mortals. Perhaps this bloodline receives too much blame: Kindred can feel horror, remorse and despair without any help. The Damned may not want to admit how many of them choose suicide. When their fellows destroy themselves, it’s more comforting to blame an outside force than to suggest they had reason for such self-loathing.
The Children of Judas emerge from the Daeva clan. The Succubi slake their own desires by arousing the desires of others. The Suicide Kings gain the power to arouse the darkest, most enigmatic and perverse desire of all.
No one’s sure when the Children of Judas originated. The legend connecting vampires with suicide dates back to antiquity. Despite the bloodline’s name, however, members do not claim that their lineage began with Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Christ. Rather, they see a spiritual connection to the traitor disciple: Judas destroyed what he should have loved most, and killed himself in remorse. Many Children of Judas feel they, too, have betrayed what they love and destroyed themselves. They know all Kindred eventually must feel this self-hate as well.
The bloodline calls its alleged founder the Hanged Man. As a mortal, the Hanged Man supposedly lived in the Balkans during the late Middle Ages. The story goes that the Hanged Man was a vampire-hunter. After he retired, a vengeful vampire massacred the vampirehunter’s family, then Embraced the hunter when he tried to hang himself in grief. The Hanged Man pursued his sire for decades before destroying her, then joined The Lancea Sanctum for an unlife of penance and renewed service to God. He is said to have destroyed himself in the 18th century, in an attempt at martyrdom.
Over the centuries, the Hanged Man sired a number of childer who sired childer of their own. The bloodline also adopted a number of Daeva who fell prey to self-disgust or who wished to add the Children of Judas’ power of Despond to their cruel schemes. One legend of the bloodline, however, says that Suicide Kings may arise spontaneously. If a Daeva Embraces a mortal who’s dying from an attempt at suicide, the childe supposedly bears the Judas taint and shall inevitably make the transition to the bloodline without any help. Some Kindred loremasters believe the Hanged Man was merely a noteworthy case of such spontaneous emergence, in a bloodline that may be as old as the Kindred themselves.
Culture
Culture and cultural heritage
Background: Similar to other Daeva, Children of Judas are drawn to the beautiful, the cultured and the elegant. The Children of Judas feel just as strong an attraction, however, for the desperate, the grieving and the self-loathing. From the widow who can’t imagine life without her husband to the PCP-addled thug who waves a gun at the cops, the pain of the desperate and grieving draws the Children of Judas like fl ies to rotting meat. And, if a Child of Judas should witness someone actually attempting suicide — why, the compulsion to Embrace becomes terribly strong. The Suicide Kings, therefore, come from every level of society. They may have any mortal age from teens to senior citizens. Both genders and all races are well represented.
Unfortunately for Janko, the Daeva (whose name remains unknown) had faked her destruction to end the hunter’s pursuit. After several years, however, she found herself bored. Over the centuries, all pleasures had palled, and she realized just how much only by comparison with the excitement of her long duel with Janko. The fear when he caught up to her, the triumph when she escaped him — she had not felt anything so strongly before, or since. She missed him. She — loved him.
When the Daeva found her old nemesis married, with four children, jealousy consumed her. When Janko returned from a few days’ journey, he found his entire family slaughtered and drained of blood. Grief gave way to rage and, fi nally, despair. He wanted to fi nd the vampire and avenge his family, but he was not a young man anymore. Mad with grief and guilt, he made a noose and tried to hang himself. Although he was a great warrior, he was no hangman; instead of breaking his neck in one quick jerk, the noose slowly strangled him. As he swung, dying, the Daeva appeared. This had not been her plan. She cut Janko down and Embraced him. When he rose again, she explained why she saved him. She loved him for his hatred. Now he had the power to resume his hunt, and their Dance of Death could begin again.
Janko pursued his sire for another 20 years. One version of the story says the long hunt ended with his sire grown weary of their dance and wracked with despair — in fact, the fi rst full display of Despond. Another says she stopped running and enthralled her childe into one night of passion before Janko cut off her head.
After this resolution, Janko joined The Lancea Sanctum. He loathed his existence as a vampire, but believed suicide was a mortal sin. He had sinned once this way already, and undeath was his Damnation. If he tried to destroy himself again, what worse punishment might God fi nd for him? The Sanctifi ed said vampires were part of God’s plan. Janko wanted to believe them. During the centuries, he became an important fi gure among the Sanctifi ed of the Balkans. His Discipline of Despond became well-known and feared by the Kindred. Janko, now called the Hanged Man, built a reputation as an Inquisitor who never failed to bring other vampires to penance for their sins. He even sired a few childer, reputedly all mortals driven to suicide for their crimes — the Hanged Man would not let them off so easily. They, too, would do penance with their unlives.
By the 18th century, the Hanged Man grew weary of inquisition and spent more and more time on theology. Around the middle of the century, he called together all his childer and their childer who dwelled nearby, and delivered a sermon to them. He named them the Children of Judas, the Hanged Man of the Bible. Similar to Judas, they were suicides, and would be instruments of suicide. Similar to Judas, they and their childer were damned, but their Damnation served the glory of God — for a time. The Embrace merely delayed their selfdestruction. When they completed their long-averted suicide, they would join Judas in Hell — and him. Then the Hanged Man poured oil on himself and set himself on fi re, screaming the Lord’s Prayer as he burned. The local Bishop declared him a martyr. For a century thereafter, the Sanctifi ed of Belgrade held a yearly blood feast in the Hanged Man’s honor.
The surviving ghoul said that as the angered Invictus tried shouting down the Nosferatu, the Haunt tipped a barrel of lamp oil onto the fl oor of the room and fi red the oil with a torch. The assembled Invictus went mad with terror and turned on each other when they could not batter their way out. The servants unblocked the doors as quickly as they could to save their master from the fl ames, but were too late. The ghoul survived, ironically enough, by Climbing up a fi replace chimney after his master’s immolation. He reached the room above and made it out of the house with severe burns. Invictus who had not attended the meeting questioned the ghoul using Dominate and Auspex before he died of his burns, and were convinced his story was true, or at least honestly told.
Naturally, the Kindred sought an explanation and evolved conspiracy theories. For several years, the competition between Danzig’s Invictus and Lancea Sanctum had been especially fi erce. The destruction of most of the Inner Circle greatly weakened the First Estate. Suspicion naturally focused on the Sanctifi ed. The Kindred came to believe one of the Sanctifi ed Daeva was a Child of Judas. (Perhaps the Daeva was already known as a Child of Judas, but most Kindred didn’t initially realize the bloodline’s signifi cance. Perhaps the Daeva hid his bloodline but was somehow exposed. Perhaps there never was a Suicide King at all, merely a panicked rumor. When stories of the Kindred move between cities and through centuries, important details get lost.) The accusations, assassinations and counterattacks between covenants continued for years and left The Circle of the Crone as Danzig’s dominant covenant for the next century. Such a convulsion, apparently wrought by a single Suicide King, inspires fear and hatred to this night. Whenever a Daeva becomes known as a Judas, someone always brings up the Immolation of Danzig.
The lone ghoul’s somewhat confused account of the Nosferatu’s rant included one element the vengeful Invictus neglected to investigate. The story says they found one Child of Judas among Danzig’s Sanctifi ed. The ghoul remembered the Nosferatu speaking of three “terrible women” who condemned him for his sins. At least, some modern accounts of the Immolation mention this detail. Kindred histories change in the telling — the three women might be an addition from the 19th century, when they emerged as the most important fi gures in Judas legendry after the Hanged Man himself.
According to the stories, some Children of Judas encounter the Sorrows when these Judas think they can escape their bloodline’s curse of anguish and achieve some great happiness. The Dolorae warn that the Kindred never experience true joy, and the Children of Judas are particularly condemned to know every facet of grief. Shortly thereafter, circumstances wreck the Suicide King’s chance at happiness and plunge him into despair: other Kindred learn of his true bloodline, perhaps, or the mortal who seemed ready to accept him for what he was dies in a tragic accident. The Sorrows appear again to say, “I told you so.”
Other stories say the Dolorae visit Suicide Kings who contemplate their own destruction. In some stories, the Sorrows pull the Judas through her own dark night of the soul, and teach her to accept her destiny as the herald of despair. In other stories, the Sorrows encourage the despondent Judas to make his suicide an example and lesson to other Kindred, as the Hanged Man did.
Still other tales describe the Dolorae as defenders of persecuted Suicide Kings. One story (told in many variations, each set in a different, distant city) recounts how a Prince who called a blood hunt against a Judas was visited by the Sorrows, went mad and destroyed himself. Another story has a Sanctifi ed Bishop condemning a Child of Judas, then turning around and proclaiming her a true servant of God after a visit from the three sisters.
The Sorrows are also said to induct despairing Daeva into the bloodline or Embrace suicidal mortals. The Sorrows can do this whether the tale’s teller believes the Sorrows are Kindred or spirits. No Suicide King ever seems to say that he himself was Embraced or inducted by the Dolorae. It always happened to a Child of Judas his sire knew in another city, or the like. The stories agree that the Sorrows can appear anywhere in the world, a point in favor of the theory that they are spirits.
In fact, no Child of Judas can prove she met the Sorrows at all, and hardly any Children of Judas claim they did. The Sorrows may be entirely mythical. Students of Kindred mythology would like some documented account of the Dolorae from before 1845, the year Thomas de Quincy published his poetic essay collection, Suspiria de Profundis. This now-obscure English author described his visionary encounters with the three Sorrows, and how the griefs he endured in his youth prepared him for wisdom in later life. Many Children of Judas accept the connection to de Quincy, but they believe he did in fact encounter the Dolorae and later chose to reveal their existence to the world. Certainly, de Quincy’s experiences of loss and the horrors of opium Addiction would have made him a prime candidate for Embrace into the line, but, for some reason, the Sorrows let him live out a full lifespan. No Judas believes the Dolorae Embraced the aging author and faked his death and burial. Some Judas, however, repeat de Quincy’s admonition that one may learn from sorrow, however painfully.
The Suicide Kings also use the titles de Quincy gave for the three sisters. Mater Lachrymarum (sometimes called the Madonna), Our Lady of Tears, embodies the grief that expresses itself in wailing and shrieks, demanding an answer from God. Mater Suspiriorum, Our Lady of Sighs, teaches the grief too deep for tears, when the heart is crushed by helpless despair. The third sister is Mater Tenebrarum, Our Lady of Darkness. The most terrible of the Sorrows carries madness and horror, when despair overthrows reason completely. She, of all the sisters, is the greatest apostle of self-destruction, against whom the mightiest Kindred or kine struggle in vain.
Other Kindred who hear of the Sorrows dearly hope they are a myth — just some fable a Suicide King cribbed from a drug-addled essayist. Knowing the World of Darkness, however, some Kindred suspect they can’t be that lucky.
When Suicide Kings know they must dwell in the same city and can’t avoid each other forever, they prefer to learn each other’s traumas as quickly as possible and get it over with. The result looks a lot like group therapy. Older Children of Judas call it the Via Dolorosa; younger Children of Judas, steeped in a culture that treats strong emotions with irony, call it the Sobfest. The assembled Children of Judas mingle their blood and drink it, while everyone who knows how uses either Revelation (see Vampire: The Requiem, pp. 129–130) or Doomed to Fail (see below). Shared Vitae extends the effects of each Discipline to the entire group. Everyone recites the events that caused them despair, both as mortals and as Kindred.
No one enjoys this Sobfest, but they have the consolation that the other participants feel just as bad. Over time, Suicide Kings become used to such confessionals and no longer feel much embarrassment about revealing old griefs and insecurities. Then again, for the Kindred, all emotions fade with time. To be sure, a few elder Children of Judas come to enjoy the Via Dolorosa because it’s a chance to feel something. For younger Children of Judas, the shared embarrassment of revealing and learning each other’s traumas builds an odd camaraderie they seldom acknowledge except with jokes about each other’s griefs and humiliations.
The Suicide Kings’ shared experience of suffering creates a surprising loyalty. They know how other Children of Judas feel. The dislike shown by other Kindred also encourages solidarity. For all the Children of Judas’ apparent cruelty, they almost never fight each other or try to sabotage each other’s plans.
The Worst Feeling in the World People feel sorrow for many reasons, ranging from a TV show being canceled to learning they have an incurable disease. Most episodes of grief, however, do not make people kill themselves, even when their sorrow is extreme. On the other hand, most suicides don’t seem to have much reason to be sad. Why does one man kill himself because his girlfriend left him, while another man sees his wife and daughters raped and murdered but soldiers on?
One element that separates suicidal Depression from ordinary grief is the feeling of absolute isolation. Poet Sylvia Plath, who herself committed suicide, called that feeling “the bell jar.” You feel trapped in your own head, cut off from everyone else. No one loves you or understands what you’re going through. People prove it when you try to say how you feel and they tell you to cheer up or don’t make a big deal about it. Yeah, that’s really useful. If you died, maybe at least they would regret your loss. It’s a poor way to connect to other people, but it seems like all you have left.
The wise men say to know yourself. You wish you could forget yourself, because there’s something about yourself you despise. Maybe it’s the way you need another person so much, and that person is gone. Maybe it’s your pride, which won’t let you forget how you failed to live up to your ambitions. Maybe it’s a sexual desire that your faith or upbringing tells you is wrong. The possibilities are legion. If only you could kill that hated part of yourself . . . .
Very often, you hear the message to die from other people, too. You know your isolation and self-hatred aren’t all in your head, because other people take the time to tell you your shortcomings. It may start with childhood taunts on the playground, but doesn’t end there. From the boyfriend who dumps you to the supervisor who tyrannizes you, a thousand casual or calculated insults and rejections let you know you aren’t good enough and people don’t like you. After a while, it can be easy to believe them and stop fighting to exist.
The thought of suicide comes with a feeling of terrible inevitability and fi nality. “You’ll feel better tomorrow,” people say. You know you won’t. This is your life. You will always be alone, always have to live with your losses and failures and always lack the power to change your life and who you are. You know your future, and it doesn’t get better.
But you have one alternative to helpless misery — one way to take control. Perhaps you can even strike back. Suicide often has elements of anger, defi ance and revenge. In some cultures, declaring that you kill yourself because of another person can shame your enemy into his own suicide, set your family on a blood-feud against him or simply terrify the entire community with the thought you might come back as an angry ghost — or a vampire.
Varieties of Suicide As Children of Judas teach their childer and students, suicide can take many forms. Some people kill themselves in hidden ways, perhaps hidden even from themselves. Other people destroy themselves for reasons that aren’t obviously connected to grief. Not all despair comes from personal issues such as the death of loved ones or isolation from other humans. Sometimes the despair isn’t even painful. In some cases, the abandonment of self-preservation brings courage and even serenity.
“Voodoo Death”
Anthropologists report that in some societies, people can die because they broke a taboo, were cursed by a sorcerer or simply argued with another person. The person stops eating and retreats from his friends and family. A few days later, he dies. The anthropologists call this “voodoo death” for reasons that no doubt make sense to them.
Voodoo death is a kind of suicide because the victim cooperates in his own demise. He’s so convinced of his death that he makes it happen through malnutrition, dehydration and sheer nervous exhaustion. The community helps him along, first by drawing away from the “living dead man” and then returning to mourn him and help him plan his own funeral.
Only primitive tribes suffer from voodoo death — or do they? In the “developed” world, some people still get sick because they think somebody cursed them. Medical examiners also fi nd cases in which people seem to die of disappointment or a broken heart — they just “lost the will to live,” with no medically explicable cause of death. The death rates among people fi red (or forcibly retired) from jobs they held a long time, old folks sent to nursing homes against their will, recent widows and widowers and other people who suffer shame, loss and helplessness suggest that voodoo death may not be so rare after all.
Honor Suicide
People who live by strict codes of conduct may kill themselves from shame if they break those codes. The samurai of old Japan would kill themselves if they failed their lord. Modern soldiers and police sometimes commit suicide after public disgrace. They have shown themselves unworthy in their own eyes and the eyes of their peers. Only death can expiate their shame.
Grave insults may provoke honor suicide as well. A Roman gentleman who felt his reputation irreparably damaged by slander, insult or humiliation could ask the state for permission to kill himself. In some cultures, suicide was also a legitimate alternative to a more humiliating fate. The Jewish zealots on Masada are the most extreme case, but warriors from the Roman Empire to World War II Japan have fallen on their swords rather than surrender.
Protest Suicide
Sometimes suicide can shame the people in power. In the past, Chinese offi cials sometimes killed themselves to protest the policies of their superiors. Sometimes this really did force reform, and the offi cial was declared a god to pacify his ghost. In recent decades, Buddhist monks and other protesters have set themselves on fi re over government policies. The hunger strike, used so successfully by Mahatma Gandhi, is nothing less than a very slow suicide meant to force a government’s hand.
Medical Suicide
The “Suicide Doctor” Jack Kevorkian became notorious for supplying sick people with devices they could use to kill themselves. The Hemlock Society publishes a manual of painless suicide methods. They didn’t invent the idea of death as an escape from disease or infirmity, though.
Medical suicide comes closer to a rational choice than any other form of self-destruction. Some people do know their future holds nothing but pain and debility, and any life they have renders them helpless under constant supervision from doctors. These sufferers want to spare themselves humiliation and physical discomfort, and spare their families the expense and stress of a long, drawn-out death.
Very few people actually choose the “final exit,” though. In some cases, people procure the means of suicide, then don’t use them. Having taken control of their lives and deaths, they don’t feel so helpless anymore, and so decide they’d like to live a little longer.
Death By Cop Some people want to die, but they can’t quite do the job themselves — so they fi nd help. Every police offi cer knows about “death by cop,” in which a perpetrator commits a brazen crime, won’t surrender and must be shot. The suicidal intent seems especially clear when the perp brandishes a gun that isn’t loaded or runs at the cops. Particularly in inner cities, where suspicion and hatred for “the man” runs high, death while committing a felony leaves you with a better reputation than an overt suicide. At least you went down fighting.
“Death by john” is a more horrifying form of disguised suicide. Suicide rates among prostitutes are very high, and the murder rate is high as well. Experienced hookers know to stay away from some men, but some prostitutes take clients no matter what the warning signs of danger are. The other hookers know their sister doesn’t want to live any more, and she’s looking for the man to do her in.
Who knows how far this form of suicide extends? A person who takes crazy risks again and again may be an adrenaline junkie or just not have much sense — or maybe he truly doesn’t care if he lives and wants to die in a way that leaves him with a good reputation.
Addiction Drugs can block the inner torment that leads to suicide. Alcohol, tranquilizers and narcotics can dull the mind; cocaine, amphetamines and other stimulants supply ersatz energy and confi dence. So often, though, a drug becomes just a slower or less direct means of death. In the long term, alcoholism or drug Addiction can kill by damaging the body or clouding the mind so the person falls prey to some accident. And is every fatal overdose really an accident? Maybe not. Addicts often show a perverse bravado about the danger of their habits and say that yes, they do prefer dying from their drugs to living without them.
Suicide Bombings and High School Shootings The Middle East has given the world the most aggressive of all forms of suicide. Whether the suicide bomber straps on TNT or drives a car fi lled with explosives, she wants to kill the enemy so much she’ll die to do it. Suicide bombers come from a culture steeped in pride and vendetta, in which humiliation demands retribution — and many people feel the West has humiliated their culture for centuries. At least, that’s the explanation experts give.
On the other hand, most suicide bombers are young, and adolescence often features an overblown sense of victimized pride. Instead of cultural grievances, the fad for suicide bombing may spring from the same roots as the shootings in American high schools. Several times now, a teenage boy (in one case, two) has taken guns to school and shot several teachers and classmates. Sometimes the attack ended with the boy turning the gun on himself. Afterward, the signs of suicide were clear to see: the sense of isolation, of being hated, of hopelessness and of wanting to strike back at the world and be noticed.
Religious Suicide
The promise of going to heaven as a martyr touches on another version of suicide: self-murder as a religious sacrifi ce. In ancient India, elderly Brahmins gained honor by immolating themselves as sacrifi ces. The Jain sect considers the taking of any life to be sinful in some degree. Supreme piety consists of starving to death, so no creature shall die to sustain your life. Christianity has its own tradition of dying for the faith as well. Martyrdom isn’t supposed to be suicide. The martyr prefers faithfulness to self-preservation because she knows her soul, the real person, will not die. However, who knows what actually is in another person’s heart? Who knows whether an apparent martyr acts out of faith and courage or desperation and shame?
Murder
Sometimes people decide their inner pain really does come from other people, and they can kill the pain at the source. Thus, most murder victims are relatives, lovers or apparent close friends of their killers — the people who have the greatest power over the killers’ hearts and can cause the greatest pain. Most murderers confess promptly, ready to take their punishment. Back when murder convictions meant certain execution, confession was as good as suicide. It still takes the killer out of his old life and identity, though prison is hardly an improvement over psychological pain. Then again, death is an even worse “solution” to the despair felt by suicides.
The Killer Meme
Suicide is contagious. One high school student commits suicide; others follow within the next year. Young Palestinians’ enthusiasm for suicide bombing makes it the strangest fad in the world. On some South Sea islands, after a person drowns, his friends report seeing him in the water and asking them to join him — and sometimes they do. Religious suicide occasionally consumes whole cults, such as the Jonestown, Heaven’s Gate and Solar Temple mass suicides.
Most people find suicide unthinkable most of the time, and most cultures discourage suicide. One additional factor leads to suicide: it becomes thinkable because other people have done it. What’s more, it seemed to work. The other suicide did make people sorry she was gone, or he did strike back at people he hated and he thought hated him.
The Children of Judas can rouse all the varied emotions that lead to suicide — the grief, the shame, the bell-jar isolation, the hopeless abandonment of selfpreservation and the rage at a hostile world. Perhaps the most evil aspect of the Children of Judas’ power, however, consists of making suicide thinkable. To convince a person that he is better off not existing is deception most foul. For this, the hatred other Kindred direct at the Suicide Kings is entirely justified.
Inquisitors and Executioners
Between Auspex, Majesty and Despond, the Children of Judas are well suited to uncovering sins and punishing them. Some Children of Judas indulge their need to explore pain by searching for crime and punishing the perpetrators. In The Lancea Sanctum, pious Children of Judas may force other Kindred to account for violating The Traditions of Longinus. A few Sanctifi ed Children of Judas can even declare their bloodline openly, because other Kindred fear being called to repent their own sins — and they will repent, with wailing and gnashing of teeth at their own worthlessness.
Princes may find their own uses for a Child of Judas. A Suicide King makes an excellent Hound. She can cripple the Prince’s enemies through bouts of Depression or perhaps even drive rivals to self-destruction while the Prince’s hands appear clean. Such an ill-worker is most effective when least known. A Judas who works as the Prince’s executioner hides not only her bloodline but also her offi ce, completely. Of course, other powerful Kindred may want to keep a secret Judas on Retainer as well, though Judas and employer both face execution themselves if the Prince learns what they’re doing.
Suicide Kings can also turn vigilante. Sanctified Children of Judas easily justify driving mortal evildoers to suicide as part of their mission to be God’s scourge on the world. Other Children of Judas may simply feel that by forcing pain on criminals, the Suicide Kings prevent the suffering those criminals would infl ict on innocent kine. Despond can drive a guilt-stricken robber, drug dealer or rapist to confess to the police (especially if backed up with timely use of Revelation) — or his suicide can end the problem completely, with no evidence that could endanger the Masquerade.
Teachers and Testers
More than one mystical tradition says wisdom and salvation come after grief and fear. Fire-and-brimstone preachers terrifi ed their audience with damnation to lead members to the joy of salvation. Psychoanalysts speak more clinically of displacements and defensive reactions. Likewise, some Children of Judas believe they can teach through suffering. They may speak theologically, of contrition and humble submission to God. Young or secular Children of Judas may speak psychologically, of complexes, Repression and traumas. Either way, Children of Judas think Kindred and kine must confront grief, Anxiety and selfhatred to overcome them. No one wants to face his own fl aws and pain. Despond gives someone no choice.
A Child of Judas may seek out mortals who suffer great anguish, to help them move beyond the suffering. Such a course demands great care and sensitivity, lest the Suicide King live up to the bloodline’s nickname. Simply forcing the subject to dwell on his grief and trauma is not enough. The Judas may need Auspex to read the subject’s mind and past or Majesty to persuade him to talk. Majesty also provides a brute-force method to cut through the bell jar of Depression and engage the subject with another person. Beyond Disciplines, however, the Judas needs facility with Empathy, Persuasion and other Social Skills, to convince the subject he can end his pain without ending his existence.
As for how to move beyond that anguish, every case is different. A person who dwells on grief for a lost loved one might need convincing that it’s no betrayal to care about someone else. Someone who despises himself for not living up to his image of what he’d like to be needs a dose of realism, as well as pride in what he can do well. The helpless needs a way to take control of something in her existence. Religious Children of Judas have a slight advantage in that Christianity and other faiths offer their subjects ready-made models for a new life. Still, the Child of Judas must still take care that in leading a subject to God, she does not lead him to new guilt and demands for self-punishment.
On the other hand, a Child of Judas may feel some people need a little more pain in their existences. The arrogant, the self-indulgent, the callous — perhaps a bout of self-hatred would give them more sympathy for the people around them. Children of Judas who follow this program care a bit less about guiding their subjects through their bouts of Despond or, at least, Children of Judas use phrases like “Get over yourself” a good deal more.
Either way, malpractice remains a danger. A Judas might go too far or misjudge a “patient,” resulting in suicide. In that case, the Judas may still be able to give her subject another chance at personal growth — but as a vampire. An important fraction of the bloodline came to the Requiem by this route. Not many of them would recommend such a course for other mortals who find life too much to bear. When faced with a mortal who chose self-destruction, though, the temptation to grant the Embrace can be too strong for a Judas to resist.
The Suicide Kings also like to point out how odd Judas’ role is in the story. Christ knew Judas would betray him. Christ said so, at the Last Supper. Why would Christ have brought Judas into his circle at all unless it was to perform this very deed?
And what about the kiss that identifi ed Jesus to the priests and soldiers who came for him in Gethsemane? Jesus was a public fi gure. Half of Jerusalem could recognize him. Again, did Jesus plan this visible act of betrayal?
Mystical Suicide Kings believe he did. They suggest the divine plan required Humanity to show itself at its worst. The callous bureaucracy of the Romans wasn’t enough. Even the jealous anger and rejection by God’s own priests weren’t enough. God needed to die because of the most wretched, contemptible crime possible, betrayed by one of his hand-picked disciples, someone who knew better, for mere money. Only through a supreme crime against God could God deliver a supreme act of forgiveness.
And what of Judas himself? Several times, the Gospels describe Jesus speaking to “the disciple He loved most,” without saying who this was. The Suicide Kings suggest this disciple was Judas. Peter denied his Lord three times. The other disciples bickered and dithered. Judas loved Christ enough to accept the duty of betraying him.
What a terrible duty! Judas went down in history as the worst sinner since Adam and Cain — faithless, greedy and too much a coward even to face the consequences of Judas’ betrayal. He killed himself instead, and so missed his chance to ask his resurrected Lord’s forgiveness.
Or maybe that was part of Jesus’ purpose, and God’s. The gospels say Jesus took on Humanity’s the burden of sin — but he did not sin. He remained stainless, a pure sacrifi ce of God, by God, to God. The Suicide Kings argue that if Christ took on the burden of sin, he passed it to someone else: to Judas, perfect in sin as Christ was perfect in virtue. Judas, who stayed in Hell. Judas, the co-Redeemer, the other Son of God.
Even The Lancea Sanctum, whose members explore many unorthodox interpretations of scripture, find the Hanged Man’ exegesis too radical for comfort. For one thing, his explanation distracts attention from Longinus, who was transformed into a vampire by the blood of Christ.
The Children of Judas don’t deny Longinus his transcendent roles as their own sin-eater, apostle of their Damnation and instrument of God’s wrath. Just as Judas the co-Redeemer, however, the Kindred can do more than frighten mortals with their bad example. Judas theologians believe that just as the saints can shorten a sinners’ torment in Purgatory by giving out excess merit, the Kindred can redeem individual sinners by accepting damnation in their stead.
The Hanged Man said he would join Judas in Hell as minister and comforter to the lost souls. Judas theologians say all Kindred can do the same, and should. Christ gave his blood to mortals for their salvation, and mortal priests repeat this act with every Mass. When the Kindred take blood, they can ask God to give them the mortal’s damnation. When the burden of the Kindred’s own and transferred sins grows too heavy, they can follow the example of Judas and the Hanged Man, and discharge their burden to Hell.
Mystical Suicide Kings call this practice the auto-da-fé. It is the second great ritual of the bloodline, though practiced much less often than the Via Dolorosa. Some Children of Judas fetter themselves so they cannot escape the burning touch of the sun. Others immolate themselves, as the Hanged Man did, so other vampires can watch and feel the awe and terror of serving God with all one’s being. Even secular Children of Judas, who don’t accept the theological contortions of their fellows, admit the auto-da-fé makes an appropriate end for Suicide Kings.
History
The Children of Judas don’t know much of their history. Neither does anyone else. Many Suicide Kings hide their true bloodline from all but their childer, broodmates (if any) and (of course) sires, so it’s hard to say whether or not a Suicide King was involved in some bit of Kindred history. Even the rumors of Children of Judas involvement tend not to travel far, because most Kindred simply don’t care about events in distant cities. The few tales Children of Judas tell about themselves have clearly been adjusted to make the stories better legends, with none of the loose ends and awkwardness of real history.The Romance of the Hanged Man
Despite speculation that the bloodline began in antiquity, most Children of Judas believe their lineage began in kingdom of Serbia, during the 13th or 14th century. Most versions of the story say the founder’s name was Janko — South Slavic for “Jack,” a hint that the whole story may be nothing but myth. This particular Janko was a vampire-hunter who earned honor, wealth and a knighthood by destroying several undead in a 20-year career. At last, he caught and destroyed his most elusive quarry, the Daeva who slew Janko’s older brother and made Janko a hunter in the fi rst place. Family honor satisfi ed, Janko married and settled down.Unfortunately for Janko, the Daeva (whose name remains unknown) had faked her destruction to end the hunter’s pursuit. After several years, however, she found herself bored. Over the centuries, all pleasures had palled, and she realized just how much only by comparison with the excitement of her long duel with Janko. The fear when he caught up to her, the triumph when she escaped him — she had not felt anything so strongly before, or since. She missed him. She — loved him.
When the Daeva found her old nemesis married, with four children, jealousy consumed her. When Janko returned from a few days’ journey, he found his entire family slaughtered and drained of blood. Grief gave way to rage and, fi nally, despair. He wanted to fi nd the vampire and avenge his family, but he was not a young man anymore. Mad with grief and guilt, he made a noose and tried to hang himself. Although he was a great warrior, he was no hangman; instead of breaking his neck in one quick jerk, the noose slowly strangled him. As he swung, dying, the Daeva appeared. This had not been her plan. She cut Janko down and Embraced him. When he rose again, she explained why she saved him. She loved him for his hatred. Now he had the power to resume his hunt, and their Dance of Death could begin again.
Janko pursued his sire for another 20 years. One version of the story says the long hunt ended with his sire grown weary of their dance and wracked with despair — in fact, the fi rst full display of Despond. Another says she stopped running and enthralled her childe into one night of passion before Janko cut off her head.
After this resolution, Janko joined The Lancea Sanctum. He loathed his existence as a vampire, but believed suicide was a mortal sin. He had sinned once this way already, and undeath was his Damnation. If he tried to destroy himself again, what worse punishment might God fi nd for him? The Sanctifi ed said vampires were part of God’s plan. Janko wanted to believe them. During the centuries, he became an important fi gure among the Sanctifi ed of the Balkans. His Discipline of Despond became well-known and feared by the Kindred. Janko, now called the Hanged Man, built a reputation as an Inquisitor who never failed to bring other vampires to penance for their sins. He even sired a few childer, reputedly all mortals driven to suicide for their crimes — the Hanged Man would not let them off so easily. They, too, would do penance with their unlives.
By the 18th century, the Hanged Man grew weary of inquisition and spent more and more time on theology. Around the middle of the century, he called together all his childer and their childer who dwelled nearby, and delivered a sermon to them. He named them the Children of Judas, the Hanged Man of the Bible. Similar to Judas, they were suicides, and would be instruments of suicide. Similar to Judas, they and their childer were damned, but their Damnation served the glory of God — for a time. The Embrace merely delayed their selfdestruction. When they completed their long-averted suicide, they would join Judas in Hell — and him. Then the Hanged Man poured oil on himself and set himself on fi re, screaming the Lord’s Prayer as he burned. The local Bishop declared him a martyr. For a century thereafter, the Sanctifi ed of Belgrade held a yearly blood feast in the Hanged Man’s honor.
The Immolation of Danzig
In 1795, a fire destroyed more than a dozen Kindred in the city of Danzig (modern-day Gdansk). The tale of the fire spread throughout Europe’s Kindred because the immolation was supposedly a suicide-murder. According to the sole survivor, a ghoul, the city’s Nosferatu Primogen, who was also a member of the local Invictus’ Inner Circle, set the fi re. He invited the other Inner Circle members to a special Elysium. When they arrived, the Nosferatu delivered a rambling speech about the sins of the Kindred, the decadence of The Invictus and his anger at futile centuries spent playing the treacherous and petty games of the Kindred. While he spoke, servants locked and barricaded the doors. They did not know why; they merely followed their dread master’s orders.The surviving ghoul said that as the angered Invictus tried shouting down the Nosferatu, the Haunt tipped a barrel of lamp oil onto the fl oor of the room and fi red the oil with a torch. The assembled Invictus went mad with terror and turned on each other when they could not batter their way out. The servants unblocked the doors as quickly as they could to save their master from the fl ames, but were too late. The ghoul survived, ironically enough, by Climbing up a fi replace chimney after his master’s immolation. He reached the room above and made it out of the house with severe burns. Invictus who had not attended the meeting questioned the ghoul using Dominate and Auspex before he died of his burns, and were convinced his story was true, or at least honestly told.
Naturally, the Kindred sought an explanation and evolved conspiracy theories. For several years, the competition between Danzig’s Invictus and Lancea Sanctum had been especially fi erce. The destruction of most of the Inner Circle greatly weakened the First Estate. Suspicion naturally focused on the Sanctifi ed. The Kindred came to believe one of the Sanctifi ed Daeva was a Child of Judas. (Perhaps the Daeva was already known as a Child of Judas, but most Kindred didn’t initially realize the bloodline’s signifi cance. Perhaps the Daeva hid his bloodline but was somehow exposed. Perhaps there never was a Suicide King at all, merely a panicked rumor. When stories of the Kindred move between cities and through centuries, important details get lost.) The accusations, assassinations and counterattacks between covenants continued for years and left The Circle of the Crone as Danzig’s dominant covenant for the next century. Such a convulsion, apparently wrought by a single Suicide King, inspires fear and hatred to this night. Whenever a Daeva becomes known as a Judas, someone always brings up the Immolation of Danzig.
The lone ghoul’s somewhat confused account of the Nosferatu’s rant included one element the vengeful Invictus neglected to investigate. The story says they found one Child of Judas among Danzig’s Sanctifi ed. The ghoul remembered the Nosferatu speaking of three “terrible women” who condemned him for his sins. At least, some modern accounts of the Immolation mention this detail. Kindred histories change in the telling — the three women might be an addition from the 19th century, when they emerged as the most important fi gures in Judas legendry after the Hanged Man himself.
The Sorrows
In the 19th century, Children of Judas began trading stories of three mysterious fi gures called the Ladies of Sorrow, or the Dolorae. Some Children of Judas believe the Dolorae are childer of the Hanged Man, looking after the rest of his lineage and bringing more Kindred into the bloodline. Other Children of Judas believe the Sorrows are spirits called to this world by the immolation of the Hanged Man. Whether the Dolorae come from God or the Devil is also disputed.According to the stories, some Children of Judas encounter the Sorrows when these Judas think they can escape their bloodline’s curse of anguish and achieve some great happiness. The Dolorae warn that the Kindred never experience true joy, and the Children of Judas are particularly condemned to know every facet of grief. Shortly thereafter, circumstances wreck the Suicide King’s chance at happiness and plunge him into despair: other Kindred learn of his true bloodline, perhaps, or the mortal who seemed ready to accept him for what he was dies in a tragic accident. The Sorrows appear again to say, “I told you so.”
Other stories say the Dolorae visit Suicide Kings who contemplate their own destruction. In some stories, the Sorrows pull the Judas through her own dark night of the soul, and teach her to accept her destiny as the herald of despair. In other stories, the Sorrows encourage the despondent Judas to make his suicide an example and lesson to other Kindred, as the Hanged Man did.
Still other tales describe the Dolorae as defenders of persecuted Suicide Kings. One story (told in many variations, each set in a different, distant city) recounts how a Prince who called a blood hunt against a Judas was visited by the Sorrows, went mad and destroyed himself. Another story has a Sanctifi ed Bishop condemning a Child of Judas, then turning around and proclaiming her a true servant of God after a visit from the three sisters.
The Sorrows are also said to induct despairing Daeva into the bloodline or Embrace suicidal mortals. The Sorrows can do this whether the tale’s teller believes the Sorrows are Kindred or spirits. No Suicide King ever seems to say that he himself was Embraced or inducted by the Dolorae. It always happened to a Child of Judas his sire knew in another city, or the like. The stories agree that the Sorrows can appear anywhere in the world, a point in favor of the theory that they are spirits.
In fact, no Child of Judas can prove she met the Sorrows at all, and hardly any Children of Judas claim they did. The Sorrows may be entirely mythical. Students of Kindred mythology would like some documented account of the Dolorae from before 1845, the year Thomas de Quincy published his poetic essay collection, Suspiria de Profundis. This now-obscure English author described his visionary encounters with the three Sorrows, and how the griefs he endured in his youth prepared him for wisdom in later life. Many Children of Judas accept the connection to de Quincy, but they believe he did in fact encounter the Dolorae and later chose to reveal their existence to the world. Certainly, de Quincy’s experiences of loss and the horrors of opium Addiction would have made him a prime candidate for Embrace into the line, but, for some reason, the Sorrows let him live out a full lifespan. No Judas believes the Dolorae Embraced the aging author and faked his death and burial. Some Judas, however, repeat de Quincy’s admonition that one may learn from sorrow, however painfully.
The Suicide Kings also use the titles de Quincy gave for the three sisters. Mater Lachrymarum (sometimes called the Madonna), Our Lady of Tears, embodies the grief that expresses itself in wailing and shrieks, demanding an answer from God. Mater Suspiriorum, Our Lady of Sighs, teaches the grief too deep for tears, when the heart is crushed by helpless despair. The third sister is Mater Tenebrarum, Our Lady of Darkness. The most terrible of the Sorrows carries madness and horror, when despair overthrows reason completely. She, of all the sisters, is the greatest apostle of self-destruction, against whom the mightiest Kindred or kine struggle in vain.
Other Kindred who hear of the Sorrows dearly hope they are a myth — just some fable a Suicide King cribbed from a drug-addled essayist. Knowing the World of Darkness, however, some Kindred suspect they can’t be that lucky.
Society and Culture
The Children of Judas prefer not to dwell near each other. Aside from the Masquerade-endangering rise in suicide rates a Judas colony could cause, the Suicide Kings are not immune to each other’s drive to explore another creature’s despair. Sires can resist prodding their childer’s emotional pains. Most likely, they already know every trauma in a childe’s past (and infl icted some of them). Other Children of Judas eventually want to know what brought a fellow Judas into the bloodline. The Children of Judas are more intimate with shame, grief and despair than most Kindred, but even the Children of Judas don’t like to keep revisiting old pains, especially under the infl uence of another Suicide King’s Despond or the Revelation power of Majesty. Sensible Suicide Kings tell their childer to grant other members of the bloodline the courtesy of leaving them alone.When Suicide Kings know they must dwell in the same city and can’t avoid each other forever, they prefer to learn each other’s traumas as quickly as possible and get it over with. The result looks a lot like group therapy. Older Children of Judas call it the Via Dolorosa; younger Children of Judas, steeped in a culture that treats strong emotions with irony, call it the Sobfest. The assembled Children of Judas mingle their blood and drink it, while everyone who knows how uses either Revelation (see Vampire: The Requiem, pp. 129–130) or Doomed to Fail (see below). Shared Vitae extends the effects of each Discipline to the entire group. Everyone recites the events that caused them despair, both as mortals and as Kindred.
No one enjoys this Sobfest, but they have the consolation that the other participants feel just as bad. Over time, Suicide Kings become used to such confessionals and no longer feel much embarrassment about revealing old griefs and insecurities. Then again, for the Kindred, all emotions fade with time. To be sure, a few elder Children of Judas come to enjoy the Via Dolorosa because it’s a chance to feel something. For younger Children of Judas, the shared embarrassment of revealing and learning each other’s traumas builds an odd camaraderie they seldom acknowledge except with jokes about each other’s griefs and humiliations.
The Suicide Kings’ shared experience of suffering creates a surprising loyalty. They know how other Children of Judas feel. The dislike shown by other Kindred also encourages solidarity. For all the Children of Judas’ apparent cruelty, they almost never fight each other or try to sabotage each other’s plans.
The Anatomy of Suicide
People who have never felt the urge to commit suicide often think it comes from simple sadness. The Children of Judas know better. Sorrow plays a role, but there is nothing simple about suicide. The desire to die, to kill yourself, is a complex emotional state with many possible causes and many possible expressions. The Children of Judas know them all, and are entirely too willing to teach.The Worst Feeling in the World People feel sorrow for many reasons, ranging from a TV show being canceled to learning they have an incurable disease. Most episodes of grief, however, do not make people kill themselves, even when their sorrow is extreme. On the other hand, most suicides don’t seem to have much reason to be sad. Why does one man kill himself because his girlfriend left him, while another man sees his wife and daughters raped and murdered but soldiers on?
One element that separates suicidal Depression from ordinary grief is the feeling of absolute isolation. Poet Sylvia Plath, who herself committed suicide, called that feeling “the bell jar.” You feel trapped in your own head, cut off from everyone else. No one loves you or understands what you’re going through. People prove it when you try to say how you feel and they tell you to cheer up or don’t make a big deal about it. Yeah, that’s really useful. If you died, maybe at least they would regret your loss. It’s a poor way to connect to other people, but it seems like all you have left.
The wise men say to know yourself. You wish you could forget yourself, because there’s something about yourself you despise. Maybe it’s the way you need another person so much, and that person is gone. Maybe it’s your pride, which won’t let you forget how you failed to live up to your ambitions. Maybe it’s a sexual desire that your faith or upbringing tells you is wrong. The possibilities are legion. If only you could kill that hated part of yourself . . . .
Very often, you hear the message to die from other people, too. You know your isolation and self-hatred aren’t all in your head, because other people take the time to tell you your shortcomings. It may start with childhood taunts on the playground, but doesn’t end there. From the boyfriend who dumps you to the supervisor who tyrannizes you, a thousand casual or calculated insults and rejections let you know you aren’t good enough and people don’t like you. After a while, it can be easy to believe them and stop fighting to exist.
The thought of suicide comes with a feeling of terrible inevitability and fi nality. “You’ll feel better tomorrow,” people say. You know you won’t. This is your life. You will always be alone, always have to live with your losses and failures and always lack the power to change your life and who you are. You know your future, and it doesn’t get better.
But you have one alternative to helpless misery — one way to take control. Perhaps you can even strike back. Suicide often has elements of anger, defi ance and revenge. In some cultures, declaring that you kill yourself because of another person can shame your enemy into his own suicide, set your family on a blood-feud against him or simply terrify the entire community with the thought you might come back as an angry ghost — or a vampire.
Varieties of Suicide As Children of Judas teach their childer and students, suicide can take many forms. Some people kill themselves in hidden ways, perhaps hidden even from themselves. Other people destroy themselves for reasons that aren’t obviously connected to grief. Not all despair comes from personal issues such as the death of loved ones or isolation from other humans. Sometimes the despair isn’t even painful. In some cases, the abandonment of self-preservation brings courage and even serenity.
“Voodoo Death”
Anthropologists report that in some societies, people can die because they broke a taboo, were cursed by a sorcerer or simply argued with another person. The person stops eating and retreats from his friends and family. A few days later, he dies. The anthropologists call this “voodoo death” for reasons that no doubt make sense to them.
Voodoo death is a kind of suicide because the victim cooperates in his own demise. He’s so convinced of his death that he makes it happen through malnutrition, dehydration and sheer nervous exhaustion. The community helps him along, first by drawing away from the “living dead man” and then returning to mourn him and help him plan his own funeral.
Only primitive tribes suffer from voodoo death — or do they? In the “developed” world, some people still get sick because they think somebody cursed them. Medical examiners also fi nd cases in which people seem to die of disappointment or a broken heart — they just “lost the will to live,” with no medically explicable cause of death. The death rates among people fi red (or forcibly retired) from jobs they held a long time, old folks sent to nursing homes against their will, recent widows and widowers and other people who suffer shame, loss and helplessness suggest that voodoo death may not be so rare after all.
Honor Suicide
People who live by strict codes of conduct may kill themselves from shame if they break those codes. The samurai of old Japan would kill themselves if they failed their lord. Modern soldiers and police sometimes commit suicide after public disgrace. They have shown themselves unworthy in their own eyes and the eyes of their peers. Only death can expiate their shame.
Grave insults may provoke honor suicide as well. A Roman gentleman who felt his reputation irreparably damaged by slander, insult or humiliation could ask the state for permission to kill himself. In some cultures, suicide was also a legitimate alternative to a more humiliating fate. The Jewish zealots on Masada are the most extreme case, but warriors from the Roman Empire to World War II Japan have fallen on their swords rather than surrender.
Protest Suicide
Sometimes suicide can shame the people in power. In the past, Chinese offi cials sometimes killed themselves to protest the policies of their superiors. Sometimes this really did force reform, and the offi cial was declared a god to pacify his ghost. In recent decades, Buddhist monks and other protesters have set themselves on fi re over government policies. The hunger strike, used so successfully by Mahatma Gandhi, is nothing less than a very slow suicide meant to force a government’s hand.
Medical Suicide
The “Suicide Doctor” Jack Kevorkian became notorious for supplying sick people with devices they could use to kill themselves. The Hemlock Society publishes a manual of painless suicide methods. They didn’t invent the idea of death as an escape from disease or infirmity, though.
Medical suicide comes closer to a rational choice than any other form of self-destruction. Some people do know their future holds nothing but pain and debility, and any life they have renders them helpless under constant supervision from doctors. These sufferers want to spare themselves humiliation and physical discomfort, and spare their families the expense and stress of a long, drawn-out death.
Very few people actually choose the “final exit,” though. In some cases, people procure the means of suicide, then don’t use them. Having taken control of their lives and deaths, they don’t feel so helpless anymore, and so decide they’d like to live a little longer.
Death By Cop Some people want to die, but they can’t quite do the job themselves — so they fi nd help. Every police offi cer knows about “death by cop,” in which a perpetrator commits a brazen crime, won’t surrender and must be shot. The suicidal intent seems especially clear when the perp brandishes a gun that isn’t loaded or runs at the cops. Particularly in inner cities, where suspicion and hatred for “the man” runs high, death while committing a felony leaves you with a better reputation than an overt suicide. At least you went down fighting.
“Death by john” is a more horrifying form of disguised suicide. Suicide rates among prostitutes are very high, and the murder rate is high as well. Experienced hookers know to stay away from some men, but some prostitutes take clients no matter what the warning signs of danger are. The other hookers know their sister doesn’t want to live any more, and she’s looking for the man to do her in.
Who knows how far this form of suicide extends? A person who takes crazy risks again and again may be an adrenaline junkie or just not have much sense — or maybe he truly doesn’t care if he lives and wants to die in a way that leaves him with a good reputation.
Addiction Drugs can block the inner torment that leads to suicide. Alcohol, tranquilizers and narcotics can dull the mind; cocaine, amphetamines and other stimulants supply ersatz energy and confi dence. So often, though, a drug becomes just a slower or less direct means of death. In the long term, alcoholism or drug Addiction can kill by damaging the body or clouding the mind so the person falls prey to some accident. And is every fatal overdose really an accident? Maybe not. Addicts often show a perverse bravado about the danger of their habits and say that yes, they do prefer dying from their drugs to living without them.
Suicide Bombings and High School Shootings The Middle East has given the world the most aggressive of all forms of suicide. Whether the suicide bomber straps on TNT or drives a car fi lled with explosives, she wants to kill the enemy so much she’ll die to do it. Suicide bombers come from a culture steeped in pride and vendetta, in which humiliation demands retribution — and many people feel the West has humiliated their culture for centuries. At least, that’s the explanation experts give.
On the other hand, most suicide bombers are young, and adolescence often features an overblown sense of victimized pride. Instead of cultural grievances, the fad for suicide bombing may spring from the same roots as the shootings in American high schools. Several times now, a teenage boy (in one case, two) has taken guns to school and shot several teachers and classmates. Sometimes the attack ended with the boy turning the gun on himself. Afterward, the signs of suicide were clear to see: the sense of isolation, of being hated, of hopelessness and of wanting to strike back at the world and be noticed.
Religious Suicide
The promise of going to heaven as a martyr touches on another version of suicide: self-murder as a religious sacrifi ce. In ancient India, elderly Brahmins gained honor by immolating themselves as sacrifi ces. The Jain sect considers the taking of any life to be sinful in some degree. Supreme piety consists of starving to death, so no creature shall die to sustain your life. Christianity has its own tradition of dying for the faith as well. Martyrdom isn’t supposed to be suicide. The martyr prefers faithfulness to self-preservation because she knows her soul, the real person, will not die. However, who knows what actually is in another person’s heart? Who knows whether an apparent martyr acts out of faith and courage or desperation and shame?
Murder
Sometimes people decide their inner pain really does come from other people, and they can kill the pain at the source. Thus, most murder victims are relatives, lovers or apparent close friends of their killers — the people who have the greatest power over the killers’ hearts and can cause the greatest pain. Most murderers confess promptly, ready to take their punishment. Back when murder convictions meant certain execution, confession was as good as suicide. It still takes the killer out of his old life and identity, though prison is hardly an improvement over psychological pain. Then again, death is an even worse “solution” to the despair felt by suicides.
The Killer Meme
Suicide is contagious. One high school student commits suicide; others follow within the next year. Young Palestinians’ enthusiasm for suicide bombing makes it the strangest fad in the world. On some South Sea islands, after a person drowns, his friends report seeing him in the water and asking them to join him — and sometimes they do. Religious suicide occasionally consumes whole cults, such as the Jonestown, Heaven’s Gate and Solar Temple mass suicides.
Most people find suicide unthinkable most of the time, and most cultures discourage suicide. One additional factor leads to suicide: it becomes thinkable because other people have done it. What’s more, it seemed to work. The other suicide did make people sorry she was gone, or he did strike back at people he hated and he thought hated him.
The Children of Judas can rouse all the varied emotions that lead to suicide — the grief, the shame, the bell-jar isolation, the hopeless abandonment of selfpreservation and the rage at a hostile world. Perhaps the most evil aspect of the Children of Judas’ power, however, consists of making suicide thinkable. To convince a person that he is better off not existing is deception most foul. For this, the hatred other Kindred direct at the Suicide Kings is entirely justified.
The Ethics of Despair
Children of Judas are compelled by their blood to explore suffering and infl ict it, often leading to their subjects’ deaths. Children of Judas who want to avoid a swift degeneration into the Beast’s madness need some way to justify such cruelty. Much of the bloodline’s tradition consists of philosophy about when to infl ict the misery of Despond, why and how severely. The ethics of Suicide Kings often draw heavily from the beliefs of The Lancea Sanctum, even the ethics of Children of Judas who belong to other covenants or to none.Inquisitors and Executioners
Between Auspex, Majesty and Despond, the Children of Judas are well suited to uncovering sins and punishing them. Some Children of Judas indulge their need to explore pain by searching for crime and punishing the perpetrators. In The Lancea Sanctum, pious Children of Judas may force other Kindred to account for violating The Traditions of Longinus. A few Sanctifi ed Children of Judas can even declare their bloodline openly, because other Kindred fear being called to repent their own sins — and they will repent, with wailing and gnashing of teeth at their own worthlessness.
Princes may find their own uses for a Child of Judas. A Suicide King makes an excellent Hound. She can cripple the Prince’s enemies through bouts of Depression or perhaps even drive rivals to self-destruction while the Prince’s hands appear clean. Such an ill-worker is most effective when least known. A Judas who works as the Prince’s executioner hides not only her bloodline but also her offi ce, completely. Of course, other powerful Kindred may want to keep a secret Judas on Retainer as well, though Judas and employer both face execution themselves if the Prince learns what they’re doing.
Suicide Kings can also turn vigilante. Sanctified Children of Judas easily justify driving mortal evildoers to suicide as part of their mission to be God’s scourge on the world. Other Children of Judas may simply feel that by forcing pain on criminals, the Suicide Kings prevent the suffering those criminals would infl ict on innocent kine. Despond can drive a guilt-stricken robber, drug dealer or rapist to confess to the police (especially if backed up with timely use of Revelation) — or his suicide can end the problem completely, with no evidence that could endanger the Masquerade.
Teachers and Testers
More than one mystical tradition says wisdom and salvation come after grief and fear. Fire-and-brimstone preachers terrifi ed their audience with damnation to lead members to the joy of salvation. Psychoanalysts speak more clinically of displacements and defensive reactions. Likewise, some Children of Judas believe they can teach through suffering. They may speak theologically, of contrition and humble submission to God. Young or secular Children of Judas may speak psychologically, of complexes, Repression and traumas. Either way, Children of Judas think Kindred and kine must confront grief, Anxiety and selfhatred to overcome them. No one wants to face his own fl aws and pain. Despond gives someone no choice.
A Child of Judas may seek out mortals who suffer great anguish, to help them move beyond the suffering. Such a course demands great care and sensitivity, lest the Suicide King live up to the bloodline’s nickname. Simply forcing the subject to dwell on his grief and trauma is not enough. The Judas may need Auspex to read the subject’s mind and past or Majesty to persuade him to talk. Majesty also provides a brute-force method to cut through the bell jar of Depression and engage the subject with another person. Beyond Disciplines, however, the Judas needs facility with Empathy, Persuasion and other Social Skills, to convince the subject he can end his pain without ending his existence.
As for how to move beyond that anguish, every case is different. A person who dwells on grief for a lost loved one might need convincing that it’s no betrayal to care about someone else. Someone who despises himself for not living up to his image of what he’d like to be needs a dose of realism, as well as pride in what he can do well. The helpless needs a way to take control of something in her existence. Religious Children of Judas have a slight advantage in that Christianity and other faiths offer their subjects ready-made models for a new life. Still, the Child of Judas must still take care that in leading a subject to God, she does not lead him to new guilt and demands for self-punishment.
On the other hand, a Child of Judas may feel some people need a little more pain in their existences. The arrogant, the self-indulgent, the callous — perhaps a bout of self-hatred would give them more sympathy for the people around them. Children of Judas who follow this program care a bit less about guiding their subjects through their bouts of Despond or, at least, Children of Judas use phrases like “Get over yourself” a good deal more.
Either way, malpractice remains a danger. A Judas might go too far or misjudge a “patient,” resulting in suicide. In that case, the Judas may still be able to give her subject another chance at personal growth — but as a vampire. An important fraction of the bloodline came to the Requiem by this route. Not many of them would recommend such a course for other mortals who find life too much to bear. When faced with a mortal who chose self-destruction, though, the temptation to grant the Embrace can be too strong for a Judas to resist.
Theology of Judas
Some Children of Judas see an even deeper purpose to their power over the soul’s darkest urge. In the Hanged Man’s fi nal sermon to his childer, he pointed out that the Crucifi xion was a suicide. God Almighty became incarnate for the specifi c purpose of dying on the cross, and, through this sacrifi ce, the race of humans was redeemed from sin. In modern parlance, the Crucifixion was death by cop, with the Pharisees, their supporters and Pilate as the manipulated executioners. And Judas helped set the suicide up through the kiss of betrayal.The Suicide Kings also like to point out how odd Judas’ role is in the story. Christ knew Judas would betray him. Christ said so, at the Last Supper. Why would Christ have brought Judas into his circle at all unless it was to perform this very deed?
And what about the kiss that identifi ed Jesus to the priests and soldiers who came for him in Gethsemane? Jesus was a public fi gure. Half of Jerusalem could recognize him. Again, did Jesus plan this visible act of betrayal?
Mystical Suicide Kings believe he did. They suggest the divine plan required Humanity to show itself at its worst. The callous bureaucracy of the Romans wasn’t enough. Even the jealous anger and rejection by God’s own priests weren’t enough. God needed to die because of the most wretched, contemptible crime possible, betrayed by one of his hand-picked disciples, someone who knew better, for mere money. Only through a supreme crime against God could God deliver a supreme act of forgiveness.
And what of Judas himself? Several times, the Gospels describe Jesus speaking to “the disciple He loved most,” without saying who this was. The Suicide Kings suggest this disciple was Judas. Peter denied his Lord three times. The other disciples bickered and dithered. Judas loved Christ enough to accept the duty of betraying him.
What a terrible duty! Judas went down in history as the worst sinner since Adam and Cain — faithless, greedy and too much a coward even to face the consequences of Judas’ betrayal. He killed himself instead, and so missed his chance to ask his resurrected Lord’s forgiveness.
Or maybe that was part of Jesus’ purpose, and God’s. The gospels say Jesus took on Humanity’s the burden of sin — but he did not sin. He remained stainless, a pure sacrifi ce of God, by God, to God. The Suicide Kings argue that if Christ took on the burden of sin, he passed it to someone else: to Judas, perfect in sin as Christ was perfect in virtue. Judas, who stayed in Hell. Judas, the co-Redeemer, the other Son of God.
Even The Lancea Sanctum, whose members explore many unorthodox interpretations of scripture, find the Hanged Man’ exegesis too radical for comfort. For one thing, his explanation distracts attention from Longinus, who was transformed into a vampire by the blood of Christ.
The Children of Judas don’t deny Longinus his transcendent roles as their own sin-eater, apostle of their Damnation and instrument of God’s wrath. Just as Judas the co-Redeemer, however, the Kindred can do more than frighten mortals with their bad example. Judas theologians believe that just as the saints can shorten a sinners’ torment in Purgatory by giving out excess merit, the Kindred can redeem individual sinners by accepting damnation in their stead.
The Hanged Man said he would join Judas in Hell as minister and comforter to the lost souls. Judas theologians say all Kindred can do the same, and should. Christ gave his blood to mortals for their salvation, and mortal priests repeat this act with every Mass. When the Kindred take blood, they can ask God to give them the mortal’s damnation. When the burden of the Kindred’s own and transferred sins grows too heavy, they can follow the example of Judas and the Hanged Man, and discharge their burden to Hell.
Mystical Suicide Kings call this practice the auto-da-fé. It is the second great ritual of the bloodline, though practiced much less often than the Via Dolorosa. Some Children of Judas fetter themselves so they cannot escape the burning touch of the sun. Others immolate themselves, as the Hanged Man did, so other vampires can watch and feel the awe and terror of serving God with all one’s being. Even secular Children of Judas, who don’t accept the theological contortions of their fellows, admit the auto-da-fé makes an appropriate end for Suicide Kings.
Common Dress code
Appearance: Many Children of Judas share the attractive and stylish appearance the Kindred associate with Daeva. The bloodline’s habitual Embrace of suicides, however, forces the Children of Judas to draw from a more fi nite and less beautiful sample of the mortal population. Thus, many Suicide Kings (or Daeva who could potentially join the bloodline) look quite ordinary — though they may improve their appearance as much as possible through makeup, personal grooming and stylish clothing.
Art & Architecture
Haven: Children of Judas, just as other Daeva, often design their havens to indulge their sensual appetites and lure their prey. The Suicide Kings’ obsession with sorrow and despair, however, may lead to odd touches: anything from a fl oor-to-ceiling print of Munch’s “The Scream,” to the polished skull of the Judas’ fi rst kill sitting on the mantelpiece.
A Child of Judas who attempted suicide as a mortal often keeps reminders of his search for self-destruction. For instance, one Suicide King might keep coils of rope in his closet, while another Judas might have a medicine cabinet stuffed with bottles of sleeping pills. A third Judas might keep a selection of small, sharp knives on a tray next to her bathtub.
A Child of Judas who attempted suicide as a mortal often keeps reminders of his search for self-destruction. For instance, one Suicide King might keep coils of rope in his closet, while another Judas might have a medicine cabinet stuffed with bottles of sleeping pills. A third Judas might keep a selection of small, sharp knives on a tray next to her bathtub.
Major organizations
Covenant: Children of Judas join The Lancea Sanctum in greater numbers than any other covenant. The bloodline’s reputed founder joined that covenant, and the Suicide Kings certainly excel at leading Kindred and kine to sorrow and contrition. A signifi cant fraction of Suicide Kings join The Invictus, however, to skulk among that covenant’s large Daeva contingent. The doctrines of the Carthians, Acolytes and Dragons rarely hold special interest for the Children of Judas, and those covenants show little special interest in recruiting these Kindred.
A higher percentage of the Children of Judas prefer to remain unaligned than is usual for Daeva — especially among Suicide Kings whose lineage is known to other Kindred. The hoary vampires who lead the covenants may see a Child of Judas as a useful ally, but younger Kindred tend to fear the heralds of despair. Neonates and ancillae often hint to a known Suicide King that she might be happier in another covenant, preferably one in another city. The youngsters have not yet accepted that despair is both an intrinsic part of the Kindred’s curse and perhaps their only solace. These youngsters also do not realize that happiness may not be a Child of Judas’ goal.
Organization: The mortal Slavs of southeastern Europe have a legend about vampires called Children of Judas, so other Kindred presume the bloodline remains most numerous in that region. However, Suicide Kings are found wherever mortals feel despair. The Children of Judas seldom congregate in numbers larger than three or four. Indeed, more Children of Judas than that could cause such a rise in the suicide rate that mortals could not help but notice. At least, that’s what many Kindred believe. So many Suicide Kings pretend to be ordinary Daeva that their numbers are hard to estimate, even for them.
One of the more widespread and persistent rumors about the Children of Judas says their founder faked his destruction, but actually left The Lancea Sanctum to join the secret society called VII. According to this rumor, the line’s founder sired a secret lineage of Children of Judas who all pose as ordinary Daeva. These undercover Children of Judas use their powers to drive other Kindred to self-destruction. Of course, no one has any evidence that such a secret lineage exists, and even the existence of VII is half-rumor. When Kindred who seem secure and content with their lot suddenly decide to meet the sun, though, it’s common for a few Kindred to bring up tales of hidden Suicide Kings.
A higher percentage of the Children of Judas prefer to remain unaligned than is usual for Daeva — especially among Suicide Kings whose lineage is known to other Kindred. The hoary vampires who lead the covenants may see a Child of Judas as a useful ally, but younger Kindred tend to fear the heralds of despair. Neonates and ancillae often hint to a known Suicide King that she might be happier in another covenant, preferably one in another city. The youngsters have not yet accepted that despair is both an intrinsic part of the Kindred’s curse and perhaps their only solace. These youngsters also do not realize that happiness may not be a Child of Judas’ goal.
Organization: The mortal Slavs of southeastern Europe have a legend about vampires called Children of Judas, so other Kindred presume the bloodline remains most numerous in that region. However, Suicide Kings are found wherever mortals feel despair. The Children of Judas seldom congregate in numbers larger than three or four. Indeed, more Children of Judas than that could cause such a rise in the suicide rate that mortals could not help but notice. At least, that’s what many Kindred believe. So many Suicide Kings pretend to be ordinary Daeva that their numbers are hard to estimate, even for them.
One of the more widespread and persistent rumors about the Children of Judas says their founder faked his destruction, but actually left The Lancea Sanctum to join the secret society called VII. According to this rumor, the line’s founder sired a secret lineage of Children of Judas who all pose as ordinary Daeva. These undercover Children of Judas use their powers to drive other Kindred to self-destruction. Of course, no one has any evidence that such a secret lineage exists, and even the existence of VII is half-rumor. When Kindred who seem secure and content with their lot suddenly decide to meet the sun, though, it’s common for a few Kindred to bring up tales of hidden Suicide Kings.
Nickname: Suicide Kings. (Female Children of Judas may be called Suicide Queens, but the bloodline as a whole always receives the masculine nickname.)
Character Creation: As a true cross-section of Humanity, Children of Judas may have any balance of Attributes and Skills. After the Embrace, however, they often try to develop their Social Attributes, Skills and Merits so they can play the predatory games of Seduction their Daeva appetites demand. Nascent Children of Judas often seem like second-best Succubi, preying on mortals who seem particularly vulnerable to emotional manipulation.
Bloodline Disciplines: Auspex, Despond, Majesty, Resilience
Weakness: As for all Daeva, it costs two Willpower points for a Child of Judas to resist her Vices. Children of Judas are also fascinated by the despair that draws other Kindred and kine to self-destruction. A Child of Judas might not want to make another person’s emotional pain worse, but she can’t help wanting to draw it out into the open and savor it. Admittedly, some Suicide Kings do try to make grief and Depression worse, but individual Children of Judas can choose how cruelly they satisfy their thirst for despair, just as the Kindred can choose how cruelly they satisfy their need for blood. Satisfy it they must, though: a Child of Judas who resists a chance to explore another person’s emotional pain loses a Willpower point, but gains a Willpower point for indulging her desire. Fortunately, the Daeva weakness does not double the Willpower penalty for the bloodline’s unique, specific Vice.
Concepts: Abandoned spouse, dentist, desperate housewife, disgraced cop, downsized executive, grief counselor, hospice caretaker, old person who didn’t want to be a burden to her children, petty crook, pickedon teen, prostitute
Parent ethnicities
Bloodline Disciplines: Auspex, Despond, Majesty, Resilience
Weakness: As for all Daeva, it costs two Willpower points for a Child of Judas to resist her Vices. Children of Judas are also fascinated by the despair that draws other Kindred and kine to self-destruction. A Child of Judas might not want to make another person’s emotional pain worse, but she can’t help wanting to draw it out into the open and savor it. Admittedly, some Suicide Kings do try to make grief and Depression worse, but individual Children of Judas can choose how cruelly they satisfy their thirst for despair, just as the Kindred can choose how cruelly they satisfy their need for blood. Satisfy it they must, though: a Child of Judas who resists a chance to explore another person’s emotional pain loses a Willpower point, but gains a Willpower point for indulging her desire. Fortunately, the Daeva weakness does not double the Willpower penalty for the bloodline’s unique, specific Vice.
Concepts: Abandoned spouse, dentist, desperate housewife, disgraced cop, downsized executive, grief counselor, hospice caretaker, old person who didn’t want to be a burden to her children, petty crook, pickedon teen, prostitute