Oh my! Slugs, Frogs, Rogues, Spies and Takeaway Pies

* PART I - The Farm *
 
I hadn’t been in the suit for a while. Law school took a lot of time and I felt that maybe I would make more of a difference as a prosecutor than a vigilante.
 
I confronted some low-down scums in my last couple of missions and while wearing the suit was exhilarating, I wondered if I was really making a difference. At least as a prosecutor I would lock these scums behind bars for a long time.
 
But the LFERs called because they needed my help. An undercover agent infiltrated a rogue element of LFER responsible for experiments that triggered mutations as well as the New York blackout that killed hundreds. How could I refuse? Besides, being connected to the group was perhaps the best chance I had of one day talking to mom again.
 
In our briefing, we were told our mission was to investigate a farm, collect soil samples, locate “Rachel Oppenheimer” and ascertain her status without blowing her cover. Right after the meeting, Honey Badger, Timber, and I were loaded on a box-truck and taken to a corn farm outside the city. Not exactly, my standard field of operations, but I’d worked with my companions before and having them along made me feel at ease with the work ahead.
 
The farm was surrounded by a strange fog and out of an abundance of caution we used our LFER issued gas masks. I turned on the suit’s radar and it picked up a barn near a corn field but didn’t detect anything or anyone else at first. I communicated as much to the team. We collected samples as we cautiously moved closer to the barn. Satisfied with the samples we’d collected we took tactical positions and moved in.
 
The suit’s radar didn’t detect anything in the barn, Honey Badger confirmed as much, and we continued to fan out. Suddenly, I spotted a grate or sealed doorway in the dirt in the corn field, just as the radar detected a mutated giant slug monster hidden by the fog in close proximity to Honey Badger. I gave her a heads up on comms, but the slug was already on the prowl. It moved fast and it hungered for a little taste of Honey.
 
The monster shot out its tongue meters from Honey Badger, but it missed her. I flew past the creature and punched it as hard as I could. Its acidic blood splattered on my armor and burned through the Biosteel like a fat kid through chocolate in a Ghirardelli factory.
 
Timber took the clue and threw a large bolder at the beast, I followed suit, and before long we tenderized the cow-sized escargot into oblivion. Honey Badger chanced her claws and sliced a sample off the dead creature, and after a quick Huzzah it was time to go down the rabbit hole.
 
* Part II-The Toxin Factory Level 1 *
 
We easily opened the grate in the corn field and found a ladder leading down into the darkness. It was a long way down; my radar didn’t detect the floor below. I flew down, while the others followed. Timber twigged down to a reasonable size to use the ladder and we quickly made it down seemingly undetected. Either the rogues lacked funds for a descent monitoring system or didn’t care about who came knocking. That last bit bothered me some. The ladder led down to a hallway and a door. I didn’t argue with Honey Badger for pole position because, well, I enjoyed watching her walk, but secondarily I switched on the cape’s Nether Shroud and cloaked out like a “Romulan Wessel” (I may be young, but I streamed the shows on sleepless nights).
 
Honey Badger must have had a date because she wasted no time. She took a second to make sure there was no security system on the door and found none. She opened the door and walked in like she was visiting her parents. No sooner had she stepped through the door than she was carving up a LFER guard like a Thanksgiving Turkey. I wouldn’t want to piss her off.
 
The suit’s radar picked up three bogeys down a nearby set of stairs and seeing Honey B’s man was well handled, I ran past her, decloaked and unleashed the Tendrils of the Night on bogey number two. He fired blindly up the stairs in the dark without success. Another ran away and triggered and intruder alarm. So much for surprise!
 
It didn’t take long to take these guys out, although one got away through a door in the lower level. These mooks were either brave, dedicated, stupid or Sadomasochistic but whichever it was they didn’t know how to admit they were done. As a result, we had to beat them to a pulp until they wouldn’t get up for a long time. I didn’t enjoy having to do that. I tried to convince them to surrender but they didn’t. Not a heroic way to end a battle but they gave us no choice.
 
We took a few seconds to catch our breath, someone turned off the alarm (maybe Timber), and we walked down to the lower lever to follow the only clown with any sense to run away. With no sign of Oppenheimer, we had to follow Alice deeper into Wonderland.
 
* Part III -The Toxin Factory Level 2*
 
Badger led her Honey down the hallway again with little strife from me. I switched on the Nether Shroud again and left her to claim the glory of being shot at first, as it undoubtedly happened. The LFER who’d fled before took up a sniper position and as soon as B opened the door, he let lose a burst of auto-fire. Honey Badger, as nimble as she is curvy, dodged most of the hail of lead but was graced by a lucky slug (lowercase “s”). I decloaked and flew at my opponent as to ram him but dove at the last second and summersaulted past him, back kicking like a donkey the LFERs back. I heard his back nearly crack as my kick landed and he flew straight toward Honey Badger. The rogue agent landed on his face unceremoniously, skidding a bit until he finally stopped. Good thing he listened to his momma and wore his helmet.
 
Timber held back by the door to cut off any escape but was suddenly surprised by a pizza delivery guy. I heard Timber and the delivery guy banter back and forth about the pizza while a second mook, hidden behind crates for cover, took a few shots at Honey Badger. Again, she managed to dodge the barrage of auto fire with some hits bouncing off her armor.
 
Before I could react, however, I recognized a well-known New York City Hero, Resin, walk through the door Timber was supposed to be guarding. It turned out Resin was the Pizza Guy…wait what? Yes, even supers need to earn money on the side.
 
Anyway, I went totally fanboy on Resin, asking him for his autograph, telling him what a fan I was of his work and stuff while I flew straight at the fool I mule-kicked a couple of seconds before. All of a sudden, my fanboy idol cockblocked me with a barrier to protect the poop bag on the floor. What gives Resin?
 
I told Resin that these guys were dirt bags responsible for terrorist acts but he wasn’t having it. He asked me for evidence and junk. Maybe the fact I tore a hole the size of a Rocky Mountain boulder on his barrier while I tried to explain we are the good guys didn’t help my case.
 
Unfortunately our friendly debate ended abruptly when the ceiling started to open and containers, likely filled with the toxic crap these guys were mass producing, were lifted by hydraulic motors below them. I took my leave of Super-Cynical-Man Resin, flew toward the containers being hauled up, and landed on top of one. Bad move.
 
In the meantime, Honey Badger, had reached the second LFER, who’d taken shots at her, and they were locked in melee like two beautiful GLOW wrestlers, but there was work to be done and I couldn’t stop to watch. But I digress. So, yes, I was saying, “Bad move.” Through the open ceiling, giant mutated frogs leaped in and surrounded me. I didn’t stay around to count them, as they tried to whip me with their snappy tongues and muscular appendages, I weaved and bobbed, jumped, and ducked and dove the hell away.
 
As I looked toward Honey Badger, she managed to take away her assailant’s weapon and scolded her for firing it at her. Resin was apparently also an admirer of women wrestling because he was just hovering over them and watching them. Hello!!! Giant frogs, people. Focus…then I recognized that Badger’s foe was none other than Oppenheimer. Huzzah! Mission accomplished. She’s ok. Doing good. Still under cover. I yelled at Honey Badger that our mission’s done and it’s time to split. I flew straight at Honey B intending to grab her and leave Resin behind to deal with the mega frogs when the mother heifer throws up another barrier to keep us from leaving. “Stand and fight like real heroes. Kill those frogs.” He actually said that. My vision totally went red. In retrospect, I must have popped some blood vessels. I really fought the urge to Razor Wing the f’er in half, but Honey Badger brought me back from the brink with a cutesy commentary about wanting frog legs anyway or something.
 
The mutant amphibians turned out to not be as tough as they looked. Between the three of us we managed to dispatch the lot of them and get the heck out of dodge. The remaining LFERs escaped, Oppenheimer included according to plan. Everything was going well until we got back to Timber…G’dammit, dude…did you not even leave us a slice?!