Long Lost
Nel sat in Aaboli’s home, surrounded by the elders of her people.
She had dreamed of having her extended family, her people, back for 30 years. And now that she had them, she found her heart predictably full, but also surprisingly lonely.
Most of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents Nel remembered were among the dead, their bones harvested by the horrible tower.
Those who had survived had been through devastation that Nel, who had survived the re-education camp called an orphanage, the Syndicate so far, and even a brief but horrific time in Thanatos, knew she could never fully understand. She saw their thousand yard stares when they thought she wasn’t looking, the way they looked at the newborn cubs in this good, safe village with a fervent protectiveness bordering on terror, the fear they showed at the harvests at once again having something to lose.
She felt like a child again in their presence — and the fact that she had stopped learning her native tongue at the age of seven only added onto that. She had a child’s vocabulary, and had to frequently stop and ask for the translations of words into Common or Orcish. She knew it wasn’t her fault. They knew that as well. But shame burned in her all the same.
But they loved her all the same, as desperately as she loved them. And she knew in her heart of hearts that they would have loved her even if she hadn’t come for them and helped them leave the Wastelands — just because she was one of their lost cubs returned to them. There was pain and loneliness and grief — but there was love and joy and the sense of home that was never only a place, but also a people.
She didn’t know how to lead them. But they taught her how. She watched them make decisions together around the fire, staying up late to talk things through until they all agreed on a course of action everyone could live with.
They did not need her to manage their day-to-day affairs. But with one foot in their world and another outside of it, they did need her as a bridge between them and Ruskovich.
So she listened more than she spoke. She made sure they knew — as if they needed the warning — that they must not build a temple to Eosphorous or worship him openly. She planned with them how to collect taxes, told them about opportunities to serve as royal guards, and poured most of her adventuring gold into supplementing their funding for soldiers among them to protect their people so that they would not need to rely on armed outsiders they would have trouble trusting and other needs they might have. She spent a small fortune on sending stones so that they could reach her whenever they needed to.
Her people were safe. They had food. They had land. They were as free as anyone in Ruskovich could be. This wasn’t their homeland. But it was a good place to stop and heal. Princess Orlov had shown the ursans more kindness and decency than any Run noble she had ever heard of. And she had them back.
Nel's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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Warmth
25 Jan 2023 06:40:04
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Spark
28 Jan 2023 07:45:46
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Broken
01 Feb 2023 05:45:25
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Magic berries and numbered days
02 Apr 2023 03:23:18
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Something Borrowed
09 Apr 2023 04:13:35
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Ghosts
23 Apr 2023 06:01:46
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A Small Revolution
27 Apr 2023 06:10:46
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Moving Day
13 May 2023 07:34:00
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Safe
19 May 2023 01:26:05
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Candlelight
12 Jun 2023 03:33:42
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A life that is mine
12 Jul 2023 02:22:20
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Things Taken
07 Sep 2023 06:05:00
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Left a mark
10 Dec 2023 07:04:14
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Tiny Revolutions
18 Jan 2024 07:53:11
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Least bad choice
19 Feb 2024 05:19:27
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Best of all possible worlds
01 Mar 2024 11:31:23
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Wasteland, Baby
29 Apr 2024 10:19:05
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A hope reversed
19 May 2024 04:39:01
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I am Overcome
16 Jun 2024 07:57:43
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Outclassed
15 Sep 2024 07:20:18
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Thanatos
04 Oct 2024 05:47:50
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Long Lost
29 Oct 2024 05:40:21
25 Jan 2023 06:40:04
28 Jan 2023 07:45:46
01 Feb 2023 05:45:25
02 Apr 2023 03:23:18
09 Apr 2023 04:13:35
23 Apr 2023 06:01:46
27 Apr 2023 06:10:46
13 May 2023 07:34:00
19 May 2023 01:26:05
12 Jun 2023 03:33:42
12 Jul 2023 02:22:20
07 Sep 2023 06:05:00
10 Dec 2023 07:04:14
18 Jan 2024 07:53:11
19 Feb 2024 05:19:27
01 Mar 2024 11:31:23
29 Apr 2024 10:19:05
19 May 2024 04:39:01
16 Jun 2024 07:57:43
15 Sep 2024 07:20:18
04 Oct 2024 05:47:50
29 Oct 2024 05:40:21
The major events and journals in Nel's history, from the beginning to today.
Long Lost
Nel sat in Aaboli’s home, surrounded by the elders of her people. She had dreamed of having her extended family, her people, back for 30 years. And now that she had them, she found her heart predictably full, but also surprisingly lonely. Most of...
05:42 am - 29.10.2024Thanatos
.Nel opened her eyes from the now-familiar blackness of death and saw a dark sky, lit by an enormous, dim, red star that gave the ever-rising smoke and haze a faint red glow. She hadn’t felt cold since becoming undead, but the rubble she was lying on...
06:07 am - 04.10.2024Outclassed
Professor Sir Sedgwick Ivers paced around the room, lecturing passionately about the importance and complexity of taxes. He climbed the stairs to the lectern, standing on the raised platform that put him a sold three feet taller than he stood on the floo...
07:24 am - 15.09.2024I am Overcome
CW: prejudice, bad thing happening to children, abuse, slavery Soundtrack: "I am Overcome" by Live Nel had never thought she would ever see another ursan from her homeland ever again until one of them threw a femur through a portal into her kitche...
08:09 am - 16.06.2024I am Overcome
CW: prejudice, bad thing happening to children, abuse, slavery Soundtrack: "I am Overcome" by Live Nel had never thought she would ever see another ursan from her homeland ever again until one of them threw a femur through a portal into her kitche...
08:04 am - 16.06.2024A hope reversed
Content Warnings: grief, abuse, bad things happening to children. (Soundtrack in my head d as I write this one: "Fix You" by Coldplay) After the fire...after the factory went up in flames and too many machines blocked too many doors...after a...
06:15 am - 19.05.2024A hope reversed
Content Warnings: grief, abuse, bad things happening to children. (Soundtrack in my head d as I write this one: "Fix You" by Coldplay) After the fire...after the factory went up in flames and too many machines blocked too many doors...after a...
06:10 am - 19.05.2024A hope reversed
Content Warnings: grief, abuse, bad things happening to children. (Soundtrack in my head d as I write this one: "Fix You" by Coldplay) After the fire...after the factory went up in flames and too many machines blocked too many doors...after a...
06:07 am - 19.05.2024A hope reversed
Content Warnings: grief, abuse, bad things happening to children. (Soundtrack in my head d as I write this one: "Fix You" by Coldplay) After the fire...after the factory went up in flames and too many machines blocked too many doors...after a...
06:03 am - 19.05.2024Wasteland, Baby
It was supposed to be fun. An exciting tournament, no death on the line, in a new, beautiful place. Nel had strategized about how to stay in the shady part of the arena for the fight so that she could still see. Her opponent was a good sort. Then th...
10:37 pm - 29.04.2024Magic Berries and Numbered Days Saturday night Nel hurries to the Wayward Traveller after her deliveries, potion and magical berries in her pockets. She supplements the healer, giving the fighters berries to help them after each fight. She does her best to stay out of Marlene's way, but polar bears stand out in crowd. Marlene doesn't look happy that she's healed already. "Magic berries, huh? Cute. Let's see if you learned your lesson or I need to repeat it. You're subbing in the next fight." Nel knows better than to argue, setting her coat with its pockets full of berries and potions in the fighters' back room and comes back in time to step in to the ring. She is still stiff and sore, tired of hurting and being hurt, but she takes a breath, focusing on paying the rent and feeding the kids as she shakes her opponent's hand and squares off. She fights hard, in the moment, but each blow she gives and takes connecting to something else. Her left hook is a reminder of the money she's saving to help Gertrud apply to the Artificer's Guild. She takes an uppercut to the jaw but doesn't let it knock her down, remembering protecting Khemma when they were young in Ruskovich, how she couldn't fold, had to outlast the bullies. She lets lose a flurry of blows, imagining her opponent as Marlene and knowing she has to stay alive if she wants to get free. Her final blow is another punch with her left hand as she imagines wielding the Left Blade of Eosphorus against the Syndicate. The bugbear she's fighting goes down. She's breathing hard and heavy, not noticing the blood running down her face, except to wipe it out of her eyes. She catches Marlene's smile -- smug and triumphant-- and looks a away, running back to the bugbear and hand them several berries once the healer restores them to consciousness. Marlene comes over pats her cheek lightly, a gesture that would almost be affectionate if it weren't dripping with condescension. "Knew you just needed a little motivation. You've never been smart enough to chase the carrot, but the stick always works." Nel nods and looks down, a picture of submissiveness, but there is a fire growing inside of her and her left hand twitches, as if aching for a blade to strike a blow for Eosphorus. She promises herself that these days are numbered, and feels strength instead of shame.
03:22 am - 02.04.2023Broken
Wake up. Eat a too small meal of moldy bread or porridge. Break rocks until bones ached, muscles ripped, hands bled, hunger gnawed and thirst burned. Endure. Keep working. Keep an eye on the more sadistic prison guards and fellow prisoners. Protect ...
05:44 pm - 01.02.2023Spark
In the Warrens there is a small shop that sells produce that is close to turning. It's a ramshackle building that never smells quite fresh, but it's been cheerfully painted in brightly colored images of fruits and vegetables. The owner buys the items ch...
07:45 am - 28.01.2023Warmth
Nel came home Tuesday night with the food from the next day from the market. She did her best to take as little from the Syndicate for the school as possible, give them as little reason to interfere as possible. She knew they didn't need a reason, not r...
06:26 am - 25.01.2023The list of amazing people following the adventures of Nel.
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