Warmth

Nel came home Tuesday night with the food from the next day from the market. She did her best to take as little from the Syndicate for the school as possible, give them as little reason to interfere as possible. She knew they didn't need a reason, not really. But it still made her feel better, even if money was tight.
 
She came inside, greeting Khemma and the children who were still awake. She smiles and talks with them about the day as she washes the hogs head and puts it in the large kettle of salted water to cook on the stove for the next three hours. She sets the oats in another pots of cold water to soak overnight, then sits down, tucking the sleepy children in and telling stories about the dancing lights made when Sephira and Rhodena dance together.
 
As they drift off, she makes herself a cup of tea, listening to the simmering of the kettle and the sounds of Khemma and twelve children sleeping. They were such beautiful sounds--people she loved sleeping safely and peacefully, and food cooking to fill their bellies the next day.
 
She poured the tea and sat down, treasuring the moment. She remembers hearing lots of sounds of breathing at the orphanage, but it wasn't peaceful like this. Sleep was often fitful as they had huddled together, shivering in the cold, hunger gnawing at them. There was so sense of safety, just exhaustion.
 
But here? It was warm. The children were safe, loved, and full. Khemma was loved and full and as safe, at least, for the moment.
 
She knew this couldn't last forever. Someday the Syndicate would call in what she owed them for the school. And for a favor so huge, the price would be too. It would be a big job. Maybe taking another fall for someone else and going back to prison, leaving Khemma and the children again. Maybe something that would haunt her like the explosion or worse. More ghosts to follow her, putting peace out of reach.
 
But right now? Right now, all was quiet except for the simmering kettle, the peaceful breathing sounds. They were warm and safe. And her heart was more full than haunted. She thought of her loved ones, the sweet, intimate, quiet conversations with Peg and Muse, Bella's exuberance, Cardinal's earnest loving kindness, James' passion for life even while trapped, Kevan's tenderness, Nita's compassion, Mara's joyful care, Victor's kindliness hidden behind sad eyes, Aeos' warmth, Lady Orsei's courage and generosity, Lukas' generosity of spirt, Nevermore's protectiveness, Dona's courage, Servis' fearlessness, Ottilie's mercy, Schatzi's loyalty, Arinelle's faith, Igor's playfulness, Hayden's love of the creatures in the water, Maelie's calm protectiveness of Dona and Cardinal, even Vera's graciousness in spite of feeling insulted from someone she surely thought was beneath her.
 
She thought about Otto, Ebba, Maria, Emil, Frida, Karl, Erna, and Atur safe, warm, fed, loved, and learning with Mara and Basia. About Josiah's body and spirit nourished with Nita and Muse, who would help him grow into his destiny and love for nature. About Elsinore and how her face lit up when Cardinal taught her the violin. About Nimue learning healing from Bella. About Valentina and Lev safe and loved with their family. About the hope for good futures for each of them.
 
She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Her own future was frightening. But right now they were warm and peaceful. And it was enough.