Strahl's Journal, May 3rd

I suppose I’m writing now under rather a serendipitous turn of events. Reading back a bit, it appears my last entry was exactly a month ago in the time of the material plane. I have rediscovered this old book in my possessions left within my keep room, where I awoke from a great fight with a band of demons who assaulted Varis, Zenith (The newest member of the party), James and myself. A lot has happened since I last wrote, and while it only really has been a month, time operated differently while I was trapped on the celestial planes, an event that happened shortly after writing my last entry when I tried to commune with Lai.
 
Jack had fallen in combat with a vampire, and to this day I still miss him. A young man by the name of Zenith Jones popped up soon-after, and has seemingly filled Jack’s void to the others. But not to me. The tavern has been mostly successful, and we just took a venture into a jewel store, and headed north to locate an initial stock supply of rare gems. That’s when the demons attacked; Zenith and James were killed, and I was left scarred and bloodied on the floor. Varis, however, stayed true and slayed the demons in our wake. I owe my life to him, but it seems Zenith and James owed their deaths to me. When I awoke for a short time, I found my right eye was missing, and the pair had passed. Waking up now, I’ve been informed that Shaun managed to perform a ritual of rebirth on them, but I don’t know what scars they bear. I know I wish to keep mine, a reminder of the time I almost got my comrades killed, a phantom pain and burden I must bear.
 
The guilt is heavy, as it was I who refused to meet the enemies terms and ordered a call to arms defensive strike against them, leading to the bloodbath. It reminds me of the gnomish battlefields, and the souls lost on them. But somehow I survived, I lived and I will pay for it. Something is haunting me, like the guilt is truly the phantoms of the lost whispering their tales to me. The others think I am crazy.
 
Now that I’ve recovered this journal, hopefully I can continue to write, it seems to soothe the soul.