Bear

TWENTY ONE YEARS EARLIER
 
Alidove slipped into the alleyway and, after checking that no one was there, pulled out the hollowed-out brick that she and her best friend Berig used to store their coins in. The Sisters at the Merciful Hands Home for Orphans preached that children weren’t shrewd enough to possess money or other such precious belongings, so the girls’ and boys’ rooms in the convent were regularly stripped and searched. This brick was Alidove and Berig’s secret hiding place.
 
“Hurry!” Berig whined. “I’m hungry!”
 
Alidove stuck her tongue out at him without looking up. “Shut up, I’m counting!” They never had much, but every penny lifted from tourists’ pockets or earned from odd jobs was as good as gold to them. Once, they helped Old Nathanial smuggle some goods through an especially small and long section of the sewer — they had emerged, filthy, into a part of the city they’d never been before, where an extremely well-dressed elf had paid them a whole two silvers. That had given them treats for weeks; it had even been worth the return trip back through the smelly, cramped tunnel.
 
“Twelve copper. Didn’t we have fourteen yesterday?”
 
Berig tugged one of his huge ears, a tell-tale sign of nervous dishonesty. “Uh, pretty sure it was just twelve?”
 
“You troll!” Alidove shoved the copper pieces in his hands and replaced the brick in the wall. “What did you spend it on?”
 
“I couldn’t stop thinking about the baked apples at the Parisol!” He put his hands up to shield himself from the look Dove gave him. “Come on, I’m always still hungry after dinner, they never feed us enough!”
 
Dove shoved him against the wall, and he had the good grace to look sheepish. “Well now you owe me one for not sharing!”
 
“Uh, I owe you two.”
 
“Two what?”
 
Berig winced. “Two baked apples. It was late and they were closing up shop, so they gave me two for the price of one.”
 
“And you ate them both without even sharing.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“You’re the worst!”
 
“I know.”
 
As if on cue, his stomach growled. Dove rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Let’s go fix your dumb troll belly.”
 
The two children exited the alleyway and darted through the bustling crowds toward the market stalls. On busy days like this, they liked to play their game of chase, where whoever was in front would try to lose the other. As a dwarf and a halfling, they were both already quite small for children. They were very good at slipping through the crowds, although Alidove was much lighter on her feet than Berig was. This time he nearly managed to give her the slip, but she knew where he was headed — the biggest pastry stall. She caught him staring, drooling almost, at the giant honey buns. They didn’t actually buy them often — being on the more expensive side, it was easier to wait until dark and steal them. Thinking anxiously of the news she had to break today, she decided it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little extra on their favorite treats.
 
“Two of the honey buns, please?”
 
Shortly after, they were tucked into a little alley munching happily on the large, sticky pastries. It wasn’t long before Bear, despite a mouth full of food, couldn’t help but talk.
 
“I’ve decided I’m going to learn magic one day.”
 
Alidove scoffed.
 
“It’s true! August said I’m smart enough to learn since we caught on to thieves cant so fast. One day I’ll learn magic, and I’ll cast big spells and fight giant monsters all over Regencia, and my family will hear about it and findme and take me in. I’ll bet you I’m secretly related to the Bouldertons, just you wait and see.”
 
“You’re dreaming.” She rolled her eyes at this familiar mention of the Boulderton family fantasy, and tore another little piece off her honey bun.
 
“I’ll show up at their door turning rocks into butterflies or whatever, and they’ll say ‘Berig, you’re a natural, please can you come and live with us, dear cousin, now that we’ve found you?’ And I’ll say sure, but only after you see what it’s like where we don’t have money. I’ll show ‘em how easy it is to eat with just one fork! No stupid etiquette rules, just pure eating. And they’ll treat me to lamb and porkchops and stew filled with —“
 
“Bear, shut up.”
 
“No, I could win them over on the fork thing. All I’d have to say is —“
 
“Shadows!” Alidove hissed and pointed to where a Shadowcloak guard stood just a few yards away in the street, her back towards the alleyway they were in.
 
Immediately, Berig the Talkative became Berig the Silent. His face became deadly serious, and there was already a knife in his hand, the little one he’d bargained for during an underground thieves’ guild meeting of some sort. Alidove pulled out her own, an altered kitchen knife her mother had used all the way back when she worked in the Shadowby kitchens. Berig stepped back, flattening Alidove against the wall behind him with his thick arms. She hated when he did this, as if she couldn’t handle herself if the guard saw them in the alley. But Berig had always imagined himself the hero, and now wasn’t the time for arguing.
 
Alidove’s heart was pounding. At only twelve years old, her friend had already caught the attention of the guards, albeit only recently. He got a bit too greedy at the fruit carts a few weeks back, and somehow word must have gotten out that a little dwarven boy with mismatched eyes had sticky fingers. They’d had to run from a few different Shadowcloaks in the area since then, and very nearly got caught once. Alidove had seen what the kids looked like exiting the workhouses in the late evening, all covered in soot and dead in the eyes. She couldn’t imagine Berig, so boisterous and full of life, being arrested and sentenced to work there. Whatever they did to those kids inside, she knew his free spirit wouldn’t survive. As quietly as she could, she took a deep breath to steady herself, smelling the faint scent of lye on her friend’s clothes and the ever-present dirt in his hair. These familiar smells of childhood helped steady her. She put a comforting hand on Berig’s shoulder, willing him not to do anything brash. His body relaxed a bit, and he put his hand on hers to squeeze it back.
 
Miraculously, the guard stepped out of sight without once glancing toward them. The two children breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly feeling very exposed, they snuck deeper into the alleyway and resumed nibbling their pastries.
 
Berig shoved a last big bite into his mouth. After a moment, he said quietly, “You know, Toby said the Quickfingers don’t mind so much about the fruit stealing thing anymore. They said if the Shadows have been looking for me this whole time and I still haven’t been caught yet, then I gotta be pretty smart. I think they’re gonna let me join ‘em soon.”
 
It was starting. They were talking about the future. Alidove swallowed. “How soon?”
 
“Pretty soon. Once the Shadows forget about me and everything settles down.”
 
“Oh.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
They sat in quiet for a bit, not looking each other in the eye.
 
Bear broke the silence. “Then we can finally get out of Merciful Hands.”
 
“We?” Alidove asked, wondering what he knew about her news.
 
“Yeah. I told them you’re joining with me, of course.”
 
Alidove froze. “You told Toby that?”
 
“Yeah, I mean pretty much. Or I’m going to tell him. I’m working on it. Because obviously I’m not leaving Merciful Hands without you, Dove.”
 
Alidove met Berig’s eyes, the one blue and the one brown. “You’re not?”
 
“What?” Berig furrowed his brow. “Did you think I was gonna leave you there all by yourself?”
 
“Well… maybe.” It’s what had always happened. Her father, her mother, so naturally Berig would leave too. She had been betting on it.
 
“That’s crazy. I wouldn’t. You know that.”
 
Alidove shuffled uncomfortably. “Oh.”
 
“It’s always going to be you and me. The Quickfingers will see how quick you are and how good you are at stuff. They just gotta see you pick one lock and they’ll want you in –”
 
“I can’t, Bear.”
 
“You can, and you’re coming with me to the Bouldertons one day, too, or wherever I go. Always together. When we’re older, I’ll say we’re married and you’re a part of the family just as much as me, and we can spend our days fat and rich like the royals, making all the servants cook us the best treats –”
 
The mention of servants was too much. “Berig, I got the Girls’ Academy scholarship.”
 
Now, Berig was quiet. “The what?”
 
“The servant school? The school for girls to learn to become maids?” Alidove searched Berig’s face for any sort of recognition. “Sister Mary Evina talked to me about it and she helped me put my name in and they picked me for the scholarship program.”
 
“That thing the Sisters have been jabbering on about?” Berig asked incredulously. “You gotta be kidding.”
 
This was about the response she expected. But she carried on, “I’m not kidding. I’m gonna learn how to be a lady’s maid. Or a scullery maid, or a housemaid, or something.” Berig was still staring at her. “I found out this morning I got in. And nobody’s got to pay for it because the Frosts already paid for everything as a charity thing, and they must have liked me or recognized my name or something and got the school to accept me in.”
 
Berig’s jaw hardened. The Quickspell family name was not prestigious by any means, but everyone in the orphanage knew that Alidove’s dad had taught magic at the castle – or so Dove had been told. She’d never had the fortune of meeting him, what with him dying the day before she was born and all. But Berig hadn’t even found out who his dad was before his mom died, and that was a sore topic for him.
 
Wincing, Alidove carried on. “I didn’t want to do it without telling you first, but you know Sister Mary Evina. She’s old and mean and pushy! She wanted me to get it done fast so I could go ahead and go before the school year starts–”
 
“What? When?”
 
“Next month. The sixteenth, I think.”
 
“Dove!”
 
“We still have a whole month!”
 
“Just a month? We’re supposed to have forever!” Berig cried.
 
“We can! I’ll still be in the city, and when I get a good job I can –”
 
“ – You can spend all day dusting some hoity toity’s mantle and I’ll get to see you twice a year on your only days off.”
 
“No, it’s not like that all the time!”
 
“Alidove, you’re a halfling and an orphan, what kind of house do you think will want you?”
 
She bristled at that. “Any house I want, because I’ll be good at being a maid. I’ll make sure of it.”
 
“That’s not what I meant!”
 
“I don’t care, it was mean.”
 
“You know what’s mean? I’ve been working on Toby this whole time, trying to get you into a guild with me, and you’re going to go off and sell away everything you are to some aristocrat who won't even like you.”
 
“The Quickfingers don’t like you! They’re gross and mean, too.”
 
“They do too like me! And at least I’ll get to do stuff that actually matters!”
 
“Yeah? Like stealing stuff?”
 
“Like adventures. Like having fun. Like not working for some awful rich people.”
 
Alidove put her hands on her hips. “Being a maid is honorable work,” she said, parroting Sister Mary Evina’s words about the school.
 
“No it’s not.”
 
“Yeah huh. Everyone says so!”
 
“Who cares what everyone says if we’re not together.”
 
Alidove’s attitude withered away at that. She blinked away the tears she could feel forming in her eyes. “We still can be together.”
 
“Now you’re dreaming.”
 
Alidove felt miserable. “Bear, I don’t wanna live on the streets and hide and be scared of people forever. I just – I just want a safe home and a good job. I don’t want to be a criminal.” She took a long, shaky breath.
 
Now it was his turn to be offended. He turned away and crossed his arms. “You need to finish your bun.”
 
There was plenty left, but suddenly Alidove felt nauseous. “I’ll save it for later.”
 
“You eat like a bird.”
 
“Well,” Alidove muttered, “you eat like an animal.”
 
It felt like an attempt at a truce, their usual lines to each other. But something was still wrong. Their friendship felt broken, somehow.
 
“We still have a month,” Dove offered hopefully, as they stood up to go.
 
“A month to change your mind,” she heard Berig mumble to himself.
 
***
 
But he could not change her mind. She noticed him sneaking out without her more and more to meet up with Toby, the pimpled teenage half-elf whose little gang Berig wanted to join. She knew there was no way they’d let a ten year old girl join their ranks, no matter how much Berig talked her up. Berig himself was pushing it by trying to join at twelve. The Quickfingers were not a real guild by any means, but they took themselves as seriously as a gang of young street rats could. Even if they couldn’t calm him down like she could, they’d keep Berig from starving to death. He could find better groups as he got older. Alidove always knew she’d have to let him go sooner or later, as much as her heart ached to think of it. Berig was her best friend. And she would always be his, but she just couldn’t say no to this opportunity. A chance to do it all the right way and correct everything her mother messed up? He had to see what this meant to her. He had to know this was her best possible option.
 
They agreed to send messages through the hidden brick in the wall. Alidove even convinced Hilda, the other halfling girl in Merciful Hands, to place any mailed correspondence in the brick for her, should Alidove be unable to place letters in the brick on her own. Berig seemed resigned to it every time she brought it up, and would usually run off on his own afterwards, making some excuse, to hide his grief. She eventually learned to avoid the conversation altogether, but still, she felt like he was pulling away already.
 
The last night before she left, Alidove woke to a tap on the window just near her bed. She raised the pane, the one she kept greased up so as not to wake the other girls in the room when she snuck out.
 
It was Bear. It had been unusually long since she’d seen him last, a few days at least. His face was drawn tight and he couldn’t meet her gaze. Silently, Alidove pulled herself through the window and shut it behind her. Berig cleared his throat and kicked the ground. “One last look over the river together?”
 
Alidove nodded, trying to hide how happy she was that he was here.
 
They snuck through the dark streets to the secret tunnel that led out of the city. They emerged on the other side of the River Gate and perched themselves in their usual tree looking over the rushing waters.
 
Berig was abnormally quiet. With a glance at his face, Alidove saw tears carving a path down his dirty cheeks.
 
“I don’t want you to go, Dove.”
 
She looped her fingers through his and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. “I know.”
 
And that’s how they sat until the sun rose: hand in hand, leaning on each other, not saying a word.
 
When they arrived back at her window, Berig handed her a small bag. Within was a little chain with a seaglass charm hanging from it, and one slightly smushed baked apple treat. “It’s for the road,” he said apologetically. “I only got one, but I figured the necklace can make up for the other one I owe you.” She nodded and put the necklace on. Her eyes were finally threatening to spill over with tears, but she swallowed her grief back down.
 
“Wait.” She darted inside, ignoring the handful of orphan girls grumbling at her for rousing them. From her packed bag, she pulled out her mother’s little knife and ran back to the window. She held it out to Berig. “I wanna give you this. They’d probably just take it from me anyway.”
 
He picked it up, a sad, thoughtful look crossing his face. “I’ll hang on to it for you.” Then, a bit of his goofy, lopsided grin leaked onto his face. “Whatever snobby old hoity toities you end up working for… give them hell for me, will you?”
 
Dove smiled. “I’m sure I can find a way.”
 
 
***
 
The Academy was much stricter than the orphanage, and much more liable to punish even minor infractions. Alidove learned that sneaking out was nearly impossible, and so she saw Berig once every other month or so on the girls’ trips around town for special events. She always let him know when she’d be out and about in the city, and he always showed up, stealing her away for an hour or two. When she was hired on as a housemaid for the Frosts’, as well, the two friends tried to keep the same pattern: meeting briefly during her rare days off. They did write letters back and forth, and Alidove tried not to notice the word counts shrinking more and more.
 
 
The last time they saw each other, Dove was thirteen and Berig was fifteen. He had begun to grow into his stockiness a bit more, and proudly pointed out his whiskers to anyone who’d listen. Alidove herself remained slight, though she’d argue that she’d put on several inches.
 
On this last day, the two were killing time, tossing pebbles in the river from the bridge. Dove glanced up at him, his one blue and one brown eye, with some mysterious cut on his eyebrow just starting to heal into a bright pink scar. An ache unfolded in her heart at the sight of this cut. She used to know every story of his, where every little scrape had come from, because she’d always been right alongside him, earning bumps and scratches of her own. But now, familiar as he always would be, he seemed unknowable.
 
“—and you should have seen the look in her eye, Dove, once she realized we’d taken back her keys! I nearly blew my cover, I was laughing so hard. She spent ages looking for them. It was such a grand time, I wish you could have been there.” He tugged at his ear absentmindedly, staring off.
 
“If I’d been there, you wouldn’t have gotten the chance to brag about yourself to me through that whole story,” Alidove responded wryly.
 
“Nah, I’d still find a way to brag.” Berig looked down at her now, smiling to himself. “Any grand stories of your own to share, though? I’m tired of talking.”
 
Alidove rolled her eyes. “Yeah right.”
 
“No, truly. Tell me about you. How are those icy bastards treating you over there?”
 
“Be nice! They’re my employers.” Now Berig rolled his eyes. “No, they’re fine. Not much to talk about.” She thought of her early mornings starting fires, and her late nights cleaning those same fireplaces of their soot, and all of the repetitive tasks she did daily in between.
 
“Living the life of your dreams then, eh?”
 
“Just like I always wanted,” she sighed wearily. “But it’s good. It’s honorable work. Little Lord Latham is everywhere at this age, so thank goodness I’m not his nanny. He gets in my way enough as it is and I’m not in charge of him. And of course everyone is thrilled over Lord David’s engagement to the Shadowby Princess.”
 
“But what about you, Dove? How are you?”
 
She considered that for a moment. It wasn’t often she was asked this. There was that strange figure she saw the other night, smallish and floating around the corner… She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. Ghost stories had no effect on her in the bright sunlit day. She was sure it was nothing.
 
His face looked so expectant and warm, that lopsided smile of his crinkling his eyes. See? He still cared about her like he did when they were kids. And no matter how long they were apart, they always feel right back into a rhythm together. They would always be here for each other.
 
Alidove tugged habitually on the sea glass necklace she always wore around her neck, and answered him with honesty. “I’m good. Thank you for asking.”
 
***
 
It was six days later that Alidove found herself forced onto a ship to the northern islands, far away from Donlon, and far away from the only soul she’d ever loved. She hadn’t even gotten a chance to say goodbye.