Withheld Frustration

First Reverenday of Incandescent Moons, 570
 
Kasvaar rallied a small group o' us to meet at tha On The Road ta' greet a new member o' the Company that'be joinin' our ranks.
I didn't really know what to expect, but lo' and behold that damned demon was our new member.
Cybil, ta' damn inquisitor of Laelon was suppose' to be our new member? Kas' sure knows how to pick 'em.
Maybe the night woulda' gone better if I coulda actually vented muh furstration, but I had to be the one to swallow muh damn pride.
All the otha' hooligans started wantin' to pick a fight with 'er as well. That psychopath masqueradin' as an angel or some shit.
 
Ashe started tryna' play around, and Conrad damn near fled. Idiots showin' Cybil their weaknesses too damn early. Patrons know she's one to break 'em for it.
Kevin also lashed out, makin' me the only one left to be responsible for these misfits. I HATE actin' responsible. It ain't my thing, but someone had to do it.
And I just know these fools are gonna look down on me for it too. What I wouldn' a given to punch that snobby, condescending psychopath in the face for tryna' assert herself as our leader.
She'll never understand people. She completely lacks empathy now, and talks about our past without emotion.
It disgusts me to think someone like her could just "forgive herself". What the hell does that even mean?
 
Not much use thinking about it now anyway. Kas popped in just as Conrad tried to escape, presenting us with some sorta' job. I dunno what that man is plannin' but he wants us to find some turtle man and bring him in for questioning. Looks like we'll be leavin' early in the morning. Whadda wonderful day. The worst reunion of my life, having to show my new weakness to that monster and having to swallow my pride and play nice with it. Fuckin' fantastic.
 
First Metday of Incandescent Moons, 570
 
Yesterday we backtracked some ways to investigate some smoke in the forest, my choice. I really jus' wanted to make sure it wasn't anybody in distress. Maybe we'd run into a lil' farm and the farmer might have some grog for sale. We did find a farm, but whoever was there seemed to be out. Our lil' weasel, Ashe, invaded the man's home. I'm sure there was no ill intent behind it, if I'm bein' honest, I was a bit relieved afterwards. Ashe didn't seem to take anythin' but I couldn't just let her get away with sneakin' 'round. After deciding the man was just out for a hunt we left the place in peace. Unfortunately we couldn't get any booze though, dunno' how much longer I'll last without it.
 
I was stayin' up for the first watch of the night after followin' some sorta reptile tracks. Couldn't make 'em out for the life o' me but we tracked them upriver so I figured we'd be fine. I was startin' to get a bit antsy when I woke Conrad up for watch. I didn't think I was gonna be sleepin' tonight. I didn't even get the chance to shut muh' damn eyes before Conrad got attacked. I jumped outta the tent and let loose, I won't let anyone o' these people die on my watch. Not even Cybil, that creature can't die until it truly recognizes and respects the people it's slaughtered. The next thing I knew I lost myself again. I barely recognized what I was doin' until I nearly pulverized some Lizardfolk's head into the dirt. I acted fast to net the survivor up.
 
After the fightin' was over I buried the Lizardfolk under the trees, had some help from a stranger. One o' those Turtle Men, Toe... Doe... They call themselves I think. He introduced himself as Baka. Weird name, but nice enough fella'. We talked about his people a bit, turns out he actually personally knows the guy we're lookin' for. Least our leads didn't wind up empty. Man also gave me some Liquor. I hate this shit, and I hate livin' like this. But it's the only way I can sleep at night anymore. I need to buy some for the road next time we get the chance. Baka mentioned he'd lead us to his posse tomorrow, so I plan on wakin' up bright and early, especially after the bizarre talk I had with the Lizardfolk. Somethin' is wrong with him, like his mind just isn't right or somethin'.