Selene

“You know, I’ve seen you at this tavern so often and I still don’t know your name.”
Vivienne’s comment elicits the bubbly laugh she had come to look forward to hearing over the regular din of the tavern on busy nights, and long lashes fluttering at her playfully.
“Well, dear, you never asked. That’s usually the rule, isn’t it?”
“Right, right, I forget my manners sometimes in the presence of beautiful women.” Vivienne winks as she sets down the glass of wine the woman had ordered. “I’m Viv, what’s your name?”
“Hmmmm, I’m not sure I should tell you. How do I know you’re not some fey that’s going to steal me away in the middle of the night once you have my name?”
“Oh, I fully intend to steal you away, but I assure you I’m nothing fancier than a half-elf.”
The woman chuckles into her glass of wine, sapphire eyes roaming over Vivienne as if to see if she passes some unspoken test.
“Mm, at the very least you’re far more interesting to talk to than most of the people that have been trying to chat me up here. My name is Selene.”
“Selene,” Vivienne repeats, committing it to memory, “Well, Miss Selene, if you find yourself bored of the usual rowdy assholes, my shift ends at midnight. I’d be happy to invite you to somewhere more private for the evening.”
She could feel the blood pounding in anticipation in her ears, the pause from Selene giving her a rare moment of doubt.
“I’ll see you at midnight then, Viv.” Selene raises the glass to Vivienne and winks.
 
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Sunshine spills across raven curls and freckled skin as Selene grumbles sleepily from the pillow beside her. “Five more minutesssss…”
Vivienne chuckles and leans forward to kiss her forehead. “C’mon, rise and shine, sleepyhead.”
An arm emerges from under the covers and half-heartedly latches around Vivienne’s torso, trying to pull her back. “The outside is cold, come back to the warm place.”
“Cold? Selene, babe, it’s the middle of spring.”
“Frigid. Ice cold.”
“It’s sunny and beautiful, look out the window.”
“Positively deathly freezing.”
“You do this every time you stay over.”
“So one would think you’d be used to it by now, hm?” Selene finally cracks open an eye and gives a cheeky smirk. “You’re no fun, Viv.”
“Really? That’s not how you felt last ni– hey!” Her comment is cut short with a pillow to the face followed by a string of giggles. “Now you’ve done it, now this is war.”
Selene shrieks and tries to wriggle out of Vivienne’s grasp as she’s wrapped up in a blanket, the taller woman trying to lift her from the bed without dropping her. “Vivienne! Don’t you dare!”
“You’re so squirmy, stay still! I’m just going to plop you into the bathtub since you’re soooo cold.”
“Don’t. You. Dare!”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of your teeth chattering, gotta do somethin’ about that.”
Vivienne kicks open the door of the bathroom, hovering the still squirming Selene over the empty bathtub. She looks down at her with a raised eyebrow. “Are you warmed up yet?”
She’s met with a pout from perfect lips. “Yeah, yeah, you’ve ruined the fun.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you later. Did I tell you the news yet?”
Selene perks up, entirely forgetting her loss and suddenly all ears. “No, there’s news? What news? Wait, you let me be all sleepy when you’ve had news this whole time?!”
“Shhh, so loud right in my ear. Yes, I have news.” Vivienne smiles genuinely, though her excitement is more contained than the bundle of energy in her arms. “I…got a new job.”
Selene lets out a dainty gasp. “You did? That’s wonderful! Doing what, where at? I wanna know all the details!”
With her arms starting to get tired, Vivienne backtracks to the bed and plops Selene down onto it, taking a seat at the edge next to her. “Well, that’s kind of the tricky part…it’s all over the city, in a way.”
“Mhmmmm, doing what?”
A beat goes by where Vivienne considers telling her the truth. So much of her time with Selene thus far had been mostly devoid of lies, at least more than usual for her. She wasn’t entirely sure why. Probably something about the way those doe eyes coaxed only sweet words from Vivienne in a way that made her want to shield Selene from her sharpness.
“I’ll be working deliveries. You know those shipping facilities over at Cliffside? I’ll be helping with deliveries all the way to the upper city if they need me to. It pays well, better than the tavern.”
“So…that means I won’t see you around the tavern anymore?”
“Well, not as much anyway. I might still be able to work a couple of shifts.”
Selene hums as if mulling this over, curling a lock of her hair around her slender fingers. “I’ll miss seeing you there, but this sounds like a great opportunity, Viv! I’m happy for you. Maybe one day you’ll be on one of the ships, hm?”
Vivienne snorts. “I don’t know about that…”
“What, you’ve never wanted to sail? Feel the salty sea air on your face, smell the freedom of the waves?” Selene opens her arms wide and flops down on the bed dramatically, her curls bouncing into her face before she brushes them aside. “See new places, fight pirates?!”
The snort evolves into a curt, amused laugh. “I don’t know about the ‘delivery worker to sailor’ pipeline is so direct, babe. The freedom part, that does sound fun though. Not having to answer to anyone but the crew you trust.”
Selene grins up at Vivienne, turning over on her side to rest her head back on the pillow. “Someday, I’d like to sail. Maybe even be a pirate. Would you come with me, be my first mate?” She winks, earning another chuckle from Vivienne.
But for a moment, she does try to envision it. She had never seen a life for herself outside of the city, outside of Breland, away from her family, from her brother. For as beautiful and enrapturing as Selene is, she isn’t sure it’s enough to warrant the risk.
“Oh, I think we both know I’m not your first mate.”
“You know what I mean!”
She leaned over to press a kiss to Vivienne’s scarred cheek, wrapping her arms around her and the two women fell into the covers in a laughing heap. Vivienne might have protested more, but whatever kept sweet, innocent Selene from asking about details she couldn’t disclose made the following months easier to bear.
 
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The door silently clicks behind Vivienne, careful footfalls soft against the ground. She makes her way across the room to the bundle of blankets in the bed but to her surprise, it is otherwise empty.
“Hm…” she muses out loud to herself. This wasn’t the first time this month she came home to not see Selene hunkered into the plush pillows with the blankets tucked up to her chin, letting out little snores. At least she didn’t have to worry about Selene catching the lingering wisps of iron and grime on her that she hadn’t had time to clean off.
She had been able to sate the young bard’s curiosity with minimal details. General locations in the city, made up co-workers, mostly fabricated tales of her night shifts to conceal the fact that in actuality she had been honing her skills with daggers and lockpicks. It was getting increasingly difficult as she asked more intricate questions, some of which were met with annoyed and brief responses. Long days and longer nights were making Vivienne’s temper shorter.
Running wet hands through her hair to somewhat wash it, Vivienne’s lips press to a thin line. Why did she even care what Selene thinks or knows? It shouldn’t matter. She doesn’t need her approval to do what she wants, what she knows will benefit her family. Then why was there a tightness in her chest coming back to an empty apartment?
Vivienne meets the cold gaze of her reflection in the cracked mirror, combing her hair back to be somewhat presentable for her shift at the tavern. Her calloused fingertips brush over the fresh scar across her nose with a wince. Didn’t have anything to cover that with. She sighs and pulls on a clean shirt, gingerly stretching her bruised arm through the sleeve. The less anyone knew, the better.
 
---
 
The cycle continued for another handful of months; mornings at the tavern, nights at the syndicate, a complete gamble if she was coming home to a warm bed or an empty one. She learned to steel herself for the latter, convincing herself that it wouldn’t have mattered had it been anyone else, so she should ignore that little pang in her stomach. And besides, the time she did still get to spend with Selene was still fun, as if nothing had changed when clearly so much had.
Had she been a more insightful person, Vivienne may have spotted the little differences before it had been too late. The way Selene’s grumpy morning banter had waned, that the questions were replaced with defeated silence, fewer kisses, fewer little flirty songs sung under her breath as Selene helped Vivienne do her makeup. They had settled into this dance of almost strangers again, keeping each other at arm’s length, one to protect a truth and one to protect a heart.
And then the war ended.
Selene had burst into the tavern on the otherwise quiet morning, the bard a whirlwind of skirts and curls. She slammed her hands on the bar top in front of Vivienne, eyes wide and a smile spread across her rounded face. “The war! Is! Over! It’s over. V-Viv, it’s over. I can go home.”
The glass she had been polishing nearly slipped from Vivienne’s grasp and she set it down on the table to steady herself, processing Selene’s words.
“Really?”
“Really!”
The silence that hung between them was palpable. Selene practically vibrated with excitement while Vivienne tried to connect all the pieces in her head. She had forgotten that Sharn was not Selene’s home. The war pushed many people from their homes and she had been separated from her family, forced in different directions to escape.
“That’s…that’s great, Selene! I’m so happy for you. Surely it’ll take some time to secure passage, but, I mean. You’re really going home?”
Selene paused with a quizzical smile. “Of course I am.” She reached out to take one of Vivienne’s hands in hers, “You could come with me, if you want.”
“I…” Vivienne let out a sigh and squeezed Selene’s hand. She couldn’t. She couldn’t leave her family, everything she had already worked for, and for what? A pretty face? A pretty face with a warm smile that made her feel impervious, a voice that melted her worries away, a soft touch that made the world feel a little less harsh. Vivienne didn’t know what to do with that, with the feelings bubbling up in her throat as she tried to find the right words.
“You can’t.” Selene finished for her, the edge of disappointment in her tone nearly causing Vivienne to wince. “I understand, Viv. Sharn is your home, you have a life and people you care about here. Just…think on it, okay? I’m going to try to secure passage out as soon as I can but surely I won’t be the only one, so there’s still time. And if you don’t, well…don’t forget about me.”
“Forget you? Never.”
Selene had pressed her cheeks together and pulled her in for a kiss before rushing out of the tavern again, likely to try to make arrangements. As soon as the door closed behind her, Vivienne’s stomach dropped. A clean cut is always best, the voice of her mentor whispered in her mind, less messy.
That was the last shift she took at the tavern, and the last time she saw Selene. But every now and then Vivienne swears she hears her laugh on the wind through the sails, catches a glimpse of her curls rounding a corner, a phantom warmth in her hand. And each time that knife digs deeper into her chest. She didn’t have a name for it until it was too late.