Dirk Strider
Dirk Strider (a.k.a. timaeusTestified)
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Dirk is the author of every life on Amalgama.
He writes the story. It’s him. You’d better pass all life decisions by your God before you make a choice that doesn’t align with your character arc.
… That obviously isn’t true, don’t take what he says at face value. While he’d enjoy omnipotence, it’s outside of human capability. Lil’ Hal controls that forefront.
And if he were to ever achieve omnipotence, he’d use it for efficiency. He knows he’s a little controlling in practice, toward his friends. But it isn’t manipulative, they need guidance.
He’s often too prideful to admit when he’s wrong, and so very rarely says sorry. If he can weasle away with dismissive comments, then he feels content.
He does it all with good intentions. And maybe he can be selfish, but he would rather chop off his own head than do something to really hurt someone he cares about. (In theory.)
To sum it all up nicely, he is an intense friend. He cares a lot about the people in his life, even if he knows he shows it oddly. He blames it on his upbringing, mostly. That and he’s a socially awkward, inept piece of shit. And while he cares a lot, it’s better to keep everyone at armslength so they don’t see just how fucking mortifying he is to be around.
He’s introspective to his own detriment. Picking apart his own character flaws to the point where he can’t stand to see himself reflected in what he makes. (Metaphorically, and literally. What gave him the brilliant idea to make a reflection of his 13 year old brain?)
His tendency to want to think everything through carefully before taking action often makes him freeze up on the spot, but the unlimited power of a rampant copy of his own fuckin’ AI brain picks up the slack.
Oh, and he’s been told he’s a little morbid. Jokes of incoming death are commonplace - specifically of his own decapitation. He tries to keep himself in check. (edited)
Physical Description
Identifying Characteristics
Meticulously styled blond hair, freckles on his nose/cheeks and shoulders/back, orange eyes, Kamina shades. He needs his shades because unnatural eye colors are unnatural for good reason. (He gets migraines from light exposure.)
He got several piercings when he was around 17-19. Dolphin bites piercing, one piercing on the lobe, one upper lobe, and two on his helix. Both ears.
SBaHJ tattoo that he did himself just after the merge, on his right shoulder. Image artifacting and everything. No regrets.
Mental characteristics
Personal history
See Act. 6, up to (S) Jane: Enter.
During The Merge, Dirk spent most of his time fucking panicking. Though he’d never admit it.
He had no idea how Sburb was meant to go, but it definitely wasn’t Amalgama, and the fact that everything went south so fast was horrifying. To put it lightly.
His high-rise, once standing in the middle of an ocean, was suddenly on solid land. Everyone else seemed to adjust FINE, but for a dude used to being entirely isolated, everything was overwhelming to an intense degree.
He couldn’t sleep for a long time. The sounds were too much.
For something of a six month period after The Merge, it was pretty much impossible to get a hold of Dirk Strider. The Auto Responder handled all correspondence, with and without the knowledge of those trying to communicate with “The Real Guy.”
Over time, he overcame his depressive shut-in tendencies and let his friends pull him outside of his room. He still doesn’t go outside without a good reason, but he isn’t totally unreachable anymore.
Act. 6 Act. 6 Int. 5
He never talked to Dave. https://www.homestuck.com/story/7748
Without being forced, they never talked at all. Someone needs to lock them in a room together so they can make friends.
(S) Dirk: Synchronize.
He never confessed to Jake. https://www.homestuck.com/story/5244
As far as Dirk’s been concerned, romancing Jake was placed in the backburner.
Employment
Unemployed. Freelance puppet/robotic commissions for favors.
Accomplishments & Achievements
Katana combat. He could fillet a fucking swordfish without batting an eye. Probably also puppet Lil’ Cal without anyone noticing, his flash-step game is on point.
Technology, namely robotics and AI. He’s made so many at this point. Lil’ Seb, Brobot, Square Wave and Sawtooth…
Rapping, but he doesn't really talk about it.
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
Something about Amalgama is fundamentally wrong. This isn't the correct narrative. How can he get Sburb to function how it was meant to function? What is he capable of?
Likes & Dislikes
Relationships
Spouses
Siblings
Children
Legendary figure from his personal collection of Post-Scratch Earth media. Imagine a hero ensconced in human history, leading the masses with subliminal messages exposing the tyrannical alien figurehead of the time - much more fucked up than T4E (currently)(in his opinion)(his opinion is right)(doesn’t mean that won’t change, however)(can never trust trolls) - via shitty, slapstick movies under the name of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff
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