PM1 pt.25} YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS

twinArmageddons played by Kiwi, stupidIdiot played by SoperPlanet, caligulasAquarium played by Dodo, carcinoGeneticist played by Link, gallowsCalibrator played by Jiro, ingeniouspodcaster played by SoperPlanet, enviousCrow playes by Roj,
 
twinArmageddons [TA] has begun responding to memo
TA: ii thiink iill 2iit here and 2ee iif anythiing iintere2tiing goe2 on.
SI: heLLO!!
SI: hOws IT gOIng TA?
TA: iit2 goiing ii gue22
caligulasAquarium [CA] is no longer idle!
CA: wwell im at my hivve noww but it occurs to me ivve once more got no clue wwhen my guest wwill be arrivvin
CA: so i guess noww that im all ready an situated i got a bit more time to kill
CA: anythin interestin goin on here or should i not bother
carcinoGeneticist [CG] started responding to memo.
CG: NOTHING INTERESTING *EVER* HAPPENS HERE, SHITSQUID.
CG: IF YOU WANT SOMETHING *INTERESTING* TO HAPPEN, GO OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING. FUCK.
CG: DANCE WITH BUTTERFLIES. RIDE A BIKE. KISS MY ASS. ANYTHING BUT THIS. THIS PLACE SUCKS MOLTEN ASS.
TA: hey ed what2 up
TA: annnd hey kk
CG: HEY, TA. BEEN A WHILE. INSERT FURTHER FORMALITIES HERE.
SI: I ThInk sOmeThIng InTeResTIng aLwaYs haPPens heRe, IT JusT Takes TIme
TA: lol formaliitiie2 kk the fuck you on
CA: hey wwhats up
CA: seriously thats the approach youre goin for here
CA: wwell wwhatevver i cant expect a mustardblood to havve any sense a howw to greet their betters
CA: at least seein kar here again is a pleasant surprise
CA: for the record i knoww me bein around is interestin enough but i wwas more referin to factors unrelated to myself here
SI: ThaT was quITe saRCasTIC CG
SI: hey CA, CaLLIng sOmeOne a musTaRd BLOOd Is quITe Rude
TA: ah, ed and all of your ca2te2m
TA: glad two 2ee you are your2elf
CG: ERIDAN, YOU BEING AROUND IS "INTERESTING" IN THE SENSE THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO BREAK MY OWN LEGS ON OCCASION.
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL TALKING DOWN ON SOL FOR HIS CASTE AFTER ALL THESE SWEEPS. COME *ON*, DUDE.
CG: DON'T FUCKING "LOL" AT MY IMPLIED FORMALITIES, GLOBESCRATCH. I WAS JUST, BEING NICE. FOR ONCE.
CG: BUT YOU WENT AND MADE ME REGRET IT. SO I'M DONE BEING NICE NOW. FUCK YOU, SUCK MY ASS.
gallowaCalibrator [GC] has started responding to the memo.
GC: H1 >;]
CG: OH. HEY, TZ. HOW'S IT GOING?
TA: hey tz
GC: SUP K4RK4T
GC: 1TS GO1NG GOOD 1 GU3SS WH4TS UP W1TH YOU
GC: OH H3Y SOLLUX
TA: and kk2 mad, look dude ju2t dont throw a hii22y fiit iight.
SI: Ca's name Is eRIden? ThaT's .... a PReTTY nICe name!
CA: oh come on kar dont get your knickers in a twwist about this howw many times i got to explain that this is the wway its supposed to be
CA: landdwwellers would do wwell to showw some basic respect if nothin else wwhen someone a royal pedigree such as myself happens upon their vvicinity
CA: especially ones that happen to be so loww on the totem pole as captor here
CA: really its kind a ridiculous here howw much evveryones faith in the system eroded just because a couple a planets decided to mash together but im not changin just because a some celestial smackdowwn
IngeniousPodcaster began responding to the memo
CG: FUCK YOU, I'M NOT MAD, YOU BLOB OF RANCOROUS BULGE PUS. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
CG: NOTHING IS UP WITH ME, TEREZI. IF SOMETHING WAS "UP", I WOULDN'T BE SUBJECTING MYSELF TO THIS HELL. AGAIN.
CG: ERIDAN. WE ARE *NOT* HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. NOT NOW, NOT HERE.
TA: look can we plea2e ju2t leave the topiic alone thii2 argument never fuckiing end2 well
IP: FInally someone I can agree wIth joIns thIs memo
TA: fuckiing hell
IP: CA, dont let these "none beIlIVers" shame you for dIsPensIng wIsdom aPun theIr undeserVIng Faces
TA: ii offiiciially hate iit here
GC: WHO DO3SNT
CG: WELCOME TO THE CLUB, JACKASS.
TA: at lea2t 2ome of you are tolerable lol
CG: WRONG AGAIN.
CG: REALLY KNOCKING IT OUT OF THE PARK WITH THESE IVELY INCORRECT STATEMENTS, SOLLUX.
CG: WE ALL SUCK. TO THE NTH FUCKING DEGREE.
CA: then by all means keep your false ideals to yourself i got no reason to listen to this asinine bs anywways
CA: sides if you really wwanted to avvoid incurrin my wwrath here youd followw at least some a the basic protocol
CA: you dont havve to go beggin at my feet or anythin but at the very least havve a spec a formality in youre greetin instead a just sayin sup
CA: i wwas already doin that i dont need to be told wwhat to do by some rusty but thanks for the backin i guess
CA: wwell wwhatevver if you lot are not gonna hear it then theres no point in tryin to preach to deaf ears
CA: might as well establish a truce or somethin in the interest a avvoidin the same circular arguments as alwways evven im gettin sick a em
IP: lIke you should, TA. You shouldnt be anywhere that doesnt fill you with Immense dIsComFort,
IP: yes, suPerior. Sorry suPerIor
TA: fiine ed you want a fuckiing greetiing,
TA: welcome two the fuckiing 2hiit 2how your hiighne22 iit2 2o looooveely two 2ee you here, ii'm 2o glad you poped your fii2hy face iin
IP: now your on the rIght Path to retrIbutIon In the eyes of the mIrthful messIah
CG: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, SOLLUX.
CG: ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS AGREE TO HIS BULLSHIT "TRUCE".
CG: THEN HE'D CUT THE CRAP, AND WE COULD GET BACK TO BITING OUT EACH OTHER'S SHOUT TUNNELS AS USUAL.
CG: BUT *NO*. OF FUCKING *COURSE* YOU HAD TO PISS VOLATILE FUEL ONTO THE FLAMES. THANKS, ASSWIPE.
TA: you are very welcome kk
IP: oh theres my moraIl, got too go!!
CA: its wwonderful to see you as wwell you nook breathed dirt eatin pissblood
CA: see noww that wwasnt so hard noww wwas it all you got to do is actually try for once and you might actually start makin some headwway here
CA: course its goin to take a lot more then sarcasm laden can a lies but at least seein you call me your highness is bringin me some form a satisfactions
GC: WH4T 4M 1 T4ST1NG R1GHT NOW
TA: good gog
CG: UGH. FUCK YOU ALL. I AM *NOT* IN THE MOOD FOR THIS HOOFBEASTSHIT RIGHT NOW.
CG: TEREZI, ARE YOU BUSY?
GC: NOT R34LLY
GC: WHY
CG: WELL.
CG: MAYBE WE COULD LIKE, YOU KNOW.
CA: are you tryin to do wwhat i think youre doin kar
CG: WHAT?
CG: MAYBE? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE THINKING, DUDE.
TA: dude that wa2 not 2mooth at fuckiing all
CG: ???
CG: OH! OH, FUCK, JEGUS NO. NO NO NO.
CG: I WAS JUST ASKING TO LIKE, HANG OUT, OR SOMETHING.
CG: BUT, THE PHRASE "HANG OUT" IMPLIES THAT WE LIKE, GO *OUT*. I JUST WANTED TO LIKE, MEET HER IN HER HIVE AND SOMETHING. TO, YOU KNOW.
CG: TALK. AND STUFF.
GC: OH MY FUCK1NG GOD
GC: Y34H W3 C4N H4NG OUT
CG: SEE? THAT WASN'T SO HARD.
CG: *SHE* GETS IT.
CG: YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS. TRYING TO MAKE *ME* LOOK BAD. UGH.
CA: hate to agree with captor here but i havve to say kar youre about as slick as a mountainside right noww
CA: evven if youre just tryin to ask her for a chat you got to do that sort a thing with a bit more style an all
CA: wwould think all those movvies you wwatch wwould a imparted some information in your pan on goin about this but i suppose not evveryone learns that wway
TA: ed you agree wiith me all the tiime
enviousCrow [EC] started responding to memo.
CA: pssht wwhatevver you get my point
CG: MOUNTAINSIDES CAN BE SLICK. EVER HEAR OF AN *AVALANCHE*, DUMPASS? GOG.
CG: LOOK, YOU'RE REALLY MISINTERPRETING MY MOTIVES HERE. I SPOKE TO HER YESTERDAY ABOUT HANGING OUT, SO THE FORMALITIES ARE OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW.
CG: LIKE, SERIOUSLY, THEY ARE *SO* OUT THE WINDOW RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN'T EVEN *SEE* THEM FROM THE WINDOW ANY MORE.
CG: REGARDLESS.
CG: I, LIKE, IF I *WAS* MAKING A MOVE, WHICH I'M NOT, I WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT SMOOTHER ABOUT IT. I AM VERY SMOOTH. I AM FUCKING SANDED, STEEL WOOLED, AND POLISHED.
EC: What the ever-loving fuck did I just get myself into?
EC: Don’t answer that.
GC: SO 4NYW4YS, K4RK4T
GC: WH3R3 4R3 W3 GONN4 H4NG OUT
CG: WELL, ANYWHERE, REALLY.
CG: THOUGH, I KINDA LOOK LIKE SHIT RIGHT NOW. SO MAYBE SOMEWHERE PRIVATE.
CG: CAN I COME OVER?
CG: TO YOUR HIVE, I MEAN.
CG: I WON'T MAKE ANY MOVES ON YOUR TREE, I PROMISE. I'M NOT A CERTAIN AS-OF-YET-UNNAMED VIOLETBLOOD.
GC: Y34H YOU C4N COM3 OV3R
GC: YOUR3 NOT B4NN3D 4NYMOR3
GC: UNL1K3 S41D UNN4M3D V1OL3TBLOOD
CG: GOD.
EC: I hope you know that I’m judging every single one of you.
CG: I SHUDDER JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.
CG: YOUR POOR, POOR TREE. THEY REALLY DIDN'T DESERVE THAT.
CG: BUT, WHAT'S DONE IS DONE, I GUESS. NOT MUCH USE DWELLING ON IT NOW.
CG: ALL WE CAN DO IS LEARN FROM *SOMEBODY*'S MISTAKES, AND MAKE SURE IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
TA: god ed 2tiill on the fuckiing tree
TA: you really need two get over that
CA: oh my gog i look awway for twwo seconds and youre talkin about this tree nonsense
CA: seriously wwhered this evven come from i barely evver evven see rezi in person so wwhy did you all get the idea i got a redrom crush for her hivve
CA: it doesnt evven make any sense an its not funny either so wwhats the joke here
CA: startin to think evveryones pan has just collectivvely eroded to the point that literally anythin could be passed off as a runnin gag
CA: literally anythin and youd all be laughin an cryin like a bunch a lunes
CG: OKAY, WELL, I *TRIED* TO KEEP YOUR IDENTITY HIDDEN THERE, DUDE.
CG: BUT YOU WENT AND OUTED YOURSELF, AGAIN.
CG: I GUESS AT THIS POINT YOU'RE PROUD OF IT OR SOMETHING?
CG: I MEAN, GOOD ON YOU, I GUESS. DON'T LET ME GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR LOVE.
CG: JUST, MAYBE LAY OFF THE ROOT FONDLING A LITTLE. IT'S KINDA GROSS.
TA: dude we are con2erned,
TA: you have a lot of ii22ue2 were ju2t tryiing two help
CA: im not PROUD a it are you evven readin the contents a my messages
CA: wwhy in gogs name wwould i be strokin the roots a rezis hivve its a fuckin tree i dont wwant anythin to do wwith it
CA: look wwhat if i start accusin you all a meaningless slander then wwhat are you goin to do
CA: hey guys i hear kars been pinin for a blackrom wwith the left wwall a neps cavve
CA: all hes thinkin about nowwadays is gettin in passionate shoutin matches wwith its chiseled rock face
TA: okay look, we know well get two that
TA: but riight now thii2 ii2 about you
GC: OH MY GOD
GC: K4RK4T X N3P3T4S C4V3
CG: COME ON, GUYS. AT LEAST TREERIDAN IS BASED IN FACT. HE LITERALLY *JUST* MADE THAT UP OFF OF THE TOP OF HIS PAN. IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.
CG: EITHER WAY, EVEN IF I *WAS* IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF HER CAVE WALLS, AT LEAST THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF SEX APPEAL.
CG: LIKE, THEY'VE GOT PICTURES OF ME ON THEM, OCCASIONALLY. THAT'S PRETTY ATTRACTIVE.
CG: WHAT DOES A TREE HAVE? SPLINTERS? BUGS? (NO OFFENCE, TEREZI.)
TA: 2omeone get ac two au2piice
TA: but ii mean kk ha2 a poiint ed tree2 are a biit unatractiive
GC: NO TH3R3S 4 LOT OF SPL1NT3RS 4ND BUGS TH4TS PR3TTY 4CCUR4T3
CA: an howw is me wwantin to stick my bulge in a stack a splinters any more sensical then you wantin to press your protein chute to a wall a painted rocks
CA: neither a those things make any sense an thats exactly my point its completely stupid an theres no humor to be derivved from it
CA: "treeidan" makes evven less sense by your owwn admission since youre sayin yourself theres no reason for anyone to find a hivve like that attractivve
CA: doesnt evven look that good and the wwhole things probably covvered in enough chalk powwder to kill a hoofbeast
TA: ii mean your 2uper fuckiing de2perate and
CG: WHAT? DUDE, THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT YOU CONSISTENTLY MAKING MOVES ON TEREZI'S TREE.
CG: OH! OKAY, I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.
CG: YOU'RE TRYING TO PASS YOUR CRUSH OFF AS A JOKE, TO TRY AND DEFLECT THE TRUTH.
CG: YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S FAIR. IF I PLAYED ALONG WITH THAT, WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR CONFLICTED ROMANTIC FEELINGS?
 

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