A Bridge Too Far?
Bathala Beacon - June 5, 2025
A multiple-car collision rocked the intercity bridge yesterday as an NHS blood and transplant van careered into an oncoming lorry and crashed into a major support beam, leading to as-yet-untold damages and injuries, but as always, that's not the whole story.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for picking up today's issue of the Bathala Beacon. As always, your erstwhile crusader for truth, justice and making evildoers pay has been out on the streets, pounding the pavement and scrutinising the newest heroes to patrol our fine city streets. I just so happened to be having a coffee in Bartleby's Coffee shop when a van screeched past us, everybody's "favourite" creature of the night, Mercy, in hot pursuit.
An eye witness would later tell me that he saw the aforementioned "hero" force his fist through the van's windshield, possibly in an attempt to get at the blood products inside, and steer the van between two cars before dismounting and allowing it to plow headlong into a tanker truck. The motives of the enigmatic vampire are as yet a mystery, but shortly after I arrived at the scene, I was able to ask him a few questions.
Between bouts of heroic hullabaloo, I asked Mercy what happened, hoping to give as fair and impartial a chance as I could to such a creature, but after telling me that he no longer robbed cradles, he was pulled away by his teammate (and potential lover?) Pagan. Of course undeterred, I stuck around to see how things would pan out, but once I saw the aforementioned asking a literal street-rat who it worked for, I knew that I had had just about as much of these "heroes" as I could stomach.
Turning back to the unfolding situation, I was happy to see the city's finest first responders in action, setting up triage and helping those in need, but I was also astonished to make the first sighting of a new and mysterious hero! Looking much like the invisible man, in bandages and a suit, the new hero seemed instrumental in getting people to safety, making a point to catch a falling support beam as it fell towards a young couple!
Unfortunately Bathala City's newest defender seemed to shy away from the press, preferring to live in anonymity as he keeps us safe, a level of humility I don't see often among this newer caste of heroes. Fortunately for us though, I'm sure the Bombastic Bandage-Man will prove himself to be a fine addition to the city's ever-growing roster of Heroes, and we'll see plenty more of him in the weeks to come.
So, what can I say, dear readers? One hero attacking a government vehicle, another suffering some sort of mental health crisis and a third taking the spotlight. I would usually be quick to decry such theatrics but, after such a dramatic event resulted in a grand-total of zero casualties, I am forced to admit that the trio did a commendable job during the rescue effort and, while I still very much worry about their suitability for the job, I'll say that I do feel a little safer having seen this display. But don't think I've gone soft on them folks. As always, I'll be here keeping an eye out for the good of all our fine citizens so, until next time, so long.
[Article by Michelle Van Quinn.]
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