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Andro "You can't just make Morgan Freeman one of your characters" Jonsun

Yes I bloody well can.

It's the 2400s and Jeff the insanely intelligent AI has massively advanced technology, including in travel. This means that colonies that normally took decades to get to, even when travelling 12.6x faster than light like the CHG's ships were beforehand, now only took a few months to travel to.

Before now, almost all of humanity was concentrated around a fairly small area within the empire of the species due to the travel limitations. Most planets outside this were inhabited by the descendants of shiploads of colonisers taken from the same cities before the CHG itself even came to be. Them coming from the same cities, especially the overpopulated ones, results in a lack of genetic diversity (sweet home Alabama) and those living there having their own culture that has developed, almost completely cut off from the rest of humanity, on their colonies.

Now, however, people from the central CHG were coming into these outter colonies, where the jaws of the locals were dropping when they learned that not all humans are of the same ethnicity, culture and religion. Having been practically autonomous, often killing those among themselves who questioned their cultural norms, until then, then losing said autonomy by being told "no you can't lynch someone because they refuse to wear a hat", and feeling the presence of people who, more often than not, didn't conform to their cultures (such as the heretics who eat with 2 chopsticks rather than a chopstick and spoon), they did some... things.

And by things I mean lynchings, firebombing of houses, race riots and so on. As an added bonus, the locals were already established as local judges, guy-that-picks-juries-es and so on and this allowed the perpetrators of these acts to either go unpunished or receive very minor punishments considering their actions. In many cases, colonists reacted in kind and lots of self-contained race wars happened across the outer planets.

Politicians did a mixture of the following: ignore it because the locals of these outer colonies, who could now actually partake in elections, actually made up quite a bit of the population; derail onto other things cos they want them votes; promise to stop the violence or call it out as wrong but then do jack-diddly-squat or just in general not actually do anything to help the situation.

Andro "You can't just make Morgan Freeman one of your characters" Jonsun (enter the loop), however, entered politics as a very vocal individual and personally put his life at risk, getting shot on 7 different occasions and beaten, stabbed, thrown from a building and more. Not only did the madlad survive but he kept at trying to convince people with his smoothing Morgan Freeman voice to stop killing one another and, even if it probably halved his lifespan, he managed to bring an end to the violence by reminding everyone that the people being lynched and assaulted were people.

Physical Description

General Physical Condition

He's... uhh... he's been through a lot.

Facial Features

Morgan freeman but with giant scars.

Mental characteristics

Personal history

His mother died giving birth to him and his low-functioning-autistic twin brother and his father left 2 months later. He and his brother were raised by their grandparents, who treated his brother with disdain for his condition. This motivated him to take his brother, who turned out to be a brilliant pianist, with him when he joined a roaming instrumental (this was rare due to all the technologically developed music of the time) band that traveled throughout the central CHG, especially the newly-forming The Terra Ring. Despite this, he quickly found that those he was in a band with were extremely snobby and often bullied his brother, motivating him to pull his brother (who had mixed feelings on this) and himself out of the band and for them to go as their own band, taking on guest musicians and new members wherever they went until, when Mor- Andrew - returned to his grandparents, letting his brother stay in the new band that, this time, consisted of nice people that wouldn't bully him.

Stumbling into so many different cultures and interacting with so many kind people - even if they were a minority - helped shape him into someone who believed in kindness and equality.

He got into politics rather accidentally due to a degree of fame he had for his travels. When asked about his life and philosophies, he was able to sway hearts and, whenever asked about tumultuous topics, he pulled the utter pro-gamer move of "just don't be a dick".

When he learned of what was happening in the Outter Worlds of the CHG, he immediately went over there to try and stop the violence. He'd walk right into riots, give speeches while surrounded on all sides by people threatening to kill him and so much more to convince people not to kill one another. And, bit by bit, it worked.

Gender Identity

Dude bro.

Sexuality

Into the ladies. Had 3 children with his wife, Clara Jonsun.

Education

His grandparents always favoured him over his brother and so actively flung him into as much music as possible. He also had a pretty good education at Jonno's School for Children (as you can tell, I'm extremely inventive with names).

Employment

Musician followed by having the costs of food and cheap hotel rooms covered by charitable organizations that were opposed to the violence in the Outter Worlds.

Accomplishments & Achievements

Saved hundreds of thousands if not millions of lives through his actions.

Failures & Embarrassments

Letting the members of his first band bully his brother for so long. Believes he could've stopped the violence sooner and thus saved more lives if he'd tried harder.

Mental Trauma

He's been shot on 7 different occasions and had rocks/bricks thrown at him on many others. He's been beaten, stabbed and on one occasion survived being flung from a building.

Intellectual Characteristics

Extremely intelligent and a master of language.

Morality & Philosophy

If it harms more than it helps, don't do it.

Personality Characteristics

Motivation

Wants people to be as happy and well-off as possible and believes the way to that is helping others but then pulls the ultimate macro move by making others be kinder as well as himself being kind for ultimate improvement.

Savvies & Ineptitudes

Well he's not the best at anything physical with some of those little bullets still stuck in him.

Likes & Dislikes

Is allergic to most spices but didn't know that until he almost died in a "spice challenge competition" video in which he and several [YT-equivalent] celebrities saw who could handle the spice. He did this for fun and almost died. As he was taken out he decided to, on camera, state the legendary words:

"These might be my last words. Therefore, the secret to my smooth voice is-" *pretends to already be dead, whilst knowing he might actually die, as he's taken away by emergency medical services*.

Aside from that he really likes sugary foods, puzzles, reading, old anime "but not that isekai/harem trash. I do wonder what went through the brains of the people of the 21st and 22nd centuries in that collection of islands that made them make that stuff. Vinland saga's some cool stuff it's like watching a documentary in a documentary but with animated superhuman vikings and a revenge plot it's a shame they had to end it after the 6th season", and grand strategy video-games (although this is something he keeps secret because there are people convinced that grand-strategy video-games could enable people to lead rebellions... if that were true we'd all be bowing down to Emperor Aspec).

Virtues & Personality perks

Very kind and good at bringing about empathy between people.

Vices & Personality flaws

Acquired himself a lovely little secret ketamine addiction when he used it as a painkiller after all those times he got shot (just to clarify getting shot is painful AF).

Hygiene

Has that "I don't wanna shower the water is my enemy" -> "no dry land is the enemy I will never leave you water" thing but does manage to drag himself through the hardest parts of a shower through sheer willpower.

Social

Contacts & Relations

He's friends with tonnes of other cool people and pretends not to want to strangle less cool but influential/powerful individuals for the sake of making things happen.

Family Ties

He and his brother often hang out and he still talks to his grandparents, who dislike him not advocating for the extermination of the planetary locals but "make do" with the lack of deaths to colonists that resulted from his actions.

Religious Views

Is an atheist but does not mention it unless someone specifically asks him.

Social Aptitude

Extremely good at socialising: so good he stopped lynchings and race riots.

Hobbies & Pets

Has had 3 dogs and a cat that all died at above-average ages.

Speech

*Morgan Freeman activates.*

Wealth & Financial state

"Damn, I sure wish I had more money. Maybe if I gave less than 99.5% of it to charity..."
Current Location
Honorary & Occupational Titles
Has turned down numerous knighthoods from the British and Finnish royal families and never ran as a candidate in anything other than for meme purposes as, once the lynchings are stopped, the guy's actually quite the memer.

Due to this he has numerous meme-related titles that were just made up by people on the internet that nobody today would get but trust me they're funny at the time.
Life
2397 CurlyWurly 2481 CurlyWurly 84 years old
Circumstances of Birth
His mother died giving birth to him and his autistic twin brother 2 months before his father left. He and his brother were raised by their grandparents.
Circumstances of Death
Despite the awesomeness of 2400s medicine, getting shot on 7 different occasions, as well as suffering other violence, was the cause of his lung collapse decades after bringing the violence to a halt.
Birthplace
Children
Current Residence
Venus
Gender
Male
Eyes
He's Morgan Freeman
Hair
Starts off black but there's this thing called aging and it sucks.
Skin Tone/Pigmentation
Morgan Freeman: black with freckles. He gets another one for every 1,000,000 people he brings wisdom to.
Height
1.8 m
Quotes & Catchphrases
"Kindness has no culture, religion or race. Therefore we should not limit our acts of kindness to any culture, religion or race."
Aligned Organization
CHG
Known Languages
Anglo-French
Character Prototype
My stuff will probably never become movies or shows but if they do and Morgan Freeman has managed to sooth death to the point of not hurting him for that long then you know who's playing this guy.

Comments

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Sep 28, 2019 16:18 by Jimmy Shrekson

Morgan Freeman actually used to be a god but gave that power to Shaggy when it became clear that Shaggy would only use the power for good. Prove me wrong.

Sep 30, 2019 13:20 by Brickosaur Builder of Worlds

That cover image paired with the title is PEAK humor. Subscribed the moment I saw your name -- I'd triple subscribe if I could!

Sep 30, 2019 19:50 by Jimmy Shrekson

Thankyer! Just remember to hail Shaggy, Supreme Leader of the Multiverse!

Oct 2, 2019 10:14

I was so thorougly confused when I first saw the article image, and then the title. Now having read it.... honestly good man I applaud you. What I have read has left me wondering if i have accidentally taken some drugs, and in the best way. Honestly with so many entries tackling serious topics and ideas, it was very nice to read something much ore lighthearted. Praise Shaggy

Oct 2, 2019 17:13 by Jimmy Shrekson

Praise Shaggy indeed, the Great Provider of Scooby Snacks and tamer of the Terrible Scoob.