Survey of the Makeyan Archipelago
The Journey
Emmara Nalu sailed from Oramas in 7 BGE with a crew of ten. Beginning with the northernmost island of Haluma, the Wailing Gull visited and mapped every island in the archipelago over the course of five years. After completing the map at the southernmost island of Rulias, the Wailing Gull returned to her home port of Oramas. Over the course of the journey, Emmara Nalu witnessed the aftermath of several brutal pirate raids on the smaller islands of the archipelago, and was deeply moved by the devestation. Inspired by the unity of the three islands of Nofiso, she sought to unite the Makeyan islands under one banner to better defend against such raids and improve their trading prospects. The Wailing Gull made port at every island on the return trip to Oramas so Emmara Nalu could begin advocating for unity. One year after the completion of the Survey, Emmara Nalu founded the Guild, which governs and protects the Makeyan archipelago to this day.Remove these ads. Join the Worldbuilders Guild
While i wouldnt say that this is a bad article, it does need more improving. First of all though i all talk about what you did good about the article. You manage to document the journey of the crew extremely well. The way you write and describe each entry in the journal makes it very interesting to read! The thing here is that there isnt much meat to the article. What was the social and cultural impact of this voyage? What is the legacy of this journal? Additionally, you could throw in some quotes there to make it look more interesting! I am sorry if i came off as rude though, this article was not bad at all! Just hammer it a bit more and it will be fine! Congrats!
Thank you for the feedback, friend. I appreciate it. I'm not sure how many more ways I can express "this document is the reason the islands united under one government", but I'll take another look and see if there's anything I can do. I'm skirting close to the word count at this point.