Session 25: Stop Trying to See My Weiner Tork

General Summary

The session began early morning after midnight on Caldra 16, 2597. The party fought and easily incapacitated Tork. With him free from the curse and the necromancer no where to be seen, the party stayed the night, found 15,000gp remaining, freed two remaining halfling slaves, and then ensured all the minotaurs remained dead after 24 hours had passed. With this they set out for Skormp on the morning of Caldra 18, 2597.

After a 14 day trip, they arrived at Skormp in the Squalor District before proceeding to the Great Market (morning of Caldra 30, 2597). In the Great Market they met several different people including Cornelius the Tailor (a dwarf Wearing Black "X" of Leather Top and Black Leather Shorts who Licked his Lips a Lot). Cornelius sold Rodan an outfit that will surely include epaulettes. Tordo the pink half-orc sold the party robes of eyes, robes of snakes, belts of giant strength, and a coin storing ring. Yor the frizzy haired nasally gnome sold the party potions of greater healing and tried selling them Pep-Z but was instead by Atticus to mix up Pilk Goes Wild. And finally Soarin sold the party an assortment of bags of holding (one for Alena Birch, one for Tork, one for Zirk, and one for Kale which were tree themed, orange, purple, and gray fanny pack respectively). With that the party exited the maze of the Great Market that definitely doesn't sell maps and is completely convoluted to cross. Tork and Zirk decided to go off to probably make Zirk a housewife and that ended the session around midday on Caldra 30, 2597.

Rejected Session Names

See, I Don't Talk to People, I Feel Great

I'll Always Take the Oldest Children

You're Thinking of Satan

This is a PG-13 Place

This is a Christian Minecraft Server

Ava-Fucking-Cado

That'll Hurt

Can't Even Tell It Is a Minotaur

It's So Tiny

- Good Job

Shoot Tork in the Knee

- I Am Useless - Take an Arrow to the Knee

I Hate You

We Are Not Interested In Your Mating Ritual

Tork the Abusive Husband

The Other Knee

What is So Funny?

Boxed Up

Tie Him Up

Brady Feels Attacked by Tiffany

Everybody Hold Hands in a Circle

Zirk's My Boyfriend

Am I Allowed to Be On My Hands and Knees?

Tork Will Always Take More

Everybody Was Going to be Fucked

Next Time We'll Slit Your Throat

Could Use Some Good Beef

Checking Out Those Crypts

Find Him Some Other Day

Do We Need to Find Him?

He Helped Us, Do We Need to Track Him Down?

I Will Kill Him One Day, Maybe Not Today

Checking the Bodies for Traps

Checking the Gold for Gold Value

Telling Them to Come Get It Like the Hogs Its Feeding Time

He Embraces You

Tork Fully Accepts It

Atticus Takes a Piss

Wren Is Going on a Slave Hunt

Very Loud Piss

Didn't Hear the Screams

Two Halflings Loosed

Nobody Else In This Whole Place

Makeshift Golden Flail

I Would Like to Find a Reputable Bank

The "Death Room"

Fade to Black for the Evening a.k.a. We Fucking

Is This a Trauma Bond Relationship?

Corner Nap

Welcome TO LEVEL 8!

Welcome to the Shitshow

Even Higher Perception

Kale IS OMNICIENT

Kale is Like an Owl, So Tall He Sees Everything

Tork Will "Level Up" Inside Zirk

Tork is Quite Horny

Casually Use the Term Raw Dog at Work

Comprehension is Everything

Raw Doggin'

Doing the d8

Battleship With Your Holes

We Broke the Curse Kind Of

Mrs. Jenkins is a Vampire

Shrine Token to Return

Rodan is Stroking Out

Which One Did We Do a Jailbreak In?

It Didn't Until You Gave the DM the Idea

Having Fun in Skormp

How Much in the Pizza Fund?

I Think We Have You Covered on the Money Queen

Tork Can Pay for Things for Zirk Now

Zirk the Homemaker

Nice Try, But We're Not the Ones You Want to Try This To

A Paint Caravan

That's Not Going Anywhere

Pitons?

Ghetto Bouquet

Rabid Gnomes

Could Be A Squatch

Exploding It

Bag of Cast Iron

Shopping Episode

So Much Stuff

You Can Find It Here

I Wouldn't Ask a Dwarf

An Honest Man, or Whatever You Call It

Cunning and Sly Criminal with Respectable Businessman

Flaunt My Wealth Not in a Gaudy Way

I Want it to Scream "Rob Me"

Epaulettes

You Don't Know the Speed of this Place

Oral Tradition: If You Write It Down, You Lose the Pleasure

You Fell Kind of Short

Laugh Again?

Dam

Snake Bag

Arm Candy

Pilk Goes Wild

Everywhere Is Wheelchair Accessible If You Have Friends

Fanny Needs

Oh God is He Breaking Up With Him

He Wants to be a Housewife

Zirk Wants to Be a Housewife

Come Back and Cum Back

Just Stop

Tork Will Miss You the Most: It's Going to Be Like a Weekend...

I Want to Hear a Joke

Walking in the Opposite Direction

I Slept Like a Log Last Night: Woke Up in the Fireplace

Report Date

06 Jul 2023