Session 38: Adventuring Allows Tax Evasion Quite Easily

General Summary

  The session begins around 10AM on HearthWarmth 11, 2597 on the deck of the Absolute Majesty II docked in Skormp. Rodan Spice has gone to ground to find his brother Cesantar Spice as he is arriving back into the city that day. Tork bridged the subject with the party of having Zirk join them on the ship and their adventures for an extra set of hands. Everyone is in agreement, so Tork goes off to get Zirk. While this is happening Kale runs an errand to buy a spell component and Atticus fills in the party on King Jorip's reign and its issues such as the riots in The Squalor in Skormp as wealth is continued to be pulled away from the masses.
  While waiting on Tork and Kale to return, Atticus spars with Alena Birch and Wren spars with Jandar. During the fight Atticus telepathically told Jandar to shoot Alena Birch with the gun which hesitantly Jandar complied with. Atticus explained it was a lesson to never expect a 1:1 fight to be only 1:1 and offered Alena Birch both a healing potion and a free hit on him later. Training continued until the rest of the Joint Operations LLC (minus Rodan Spice) returned back. Tork announced Zirk had agreed to join them and blushing, Tork proposed to Zirk with a belt of Hill Giant strength on the Absolute Majesty II. Zirk accepted and they embraced and kissed to generally happy thoughts from the rest of the group.
  Zirk left to go finish up some business around town next (promising to return to the ship in the evening) while Wren had the idea to return to Artemis' temple to talk to the plants there about the robbery of the relic bow. In Artemis' temple within the God's footstool, they managed to gather from the plants how one of the voices during the robbery of the estuary was familiar within the temple. The plants noted (among other less seemly comments) they had last heard it telling the party to search the Squalor. When the priestess returned to the temple, they asked about who the person was that had given them the tip last time they were in the temple. The priestess consulted her records and noted it was a man named Hilaf Loroun. She thought he was likely wealthy, attended regularly and gave regularly, and had been attending the temple the entire 8 months she had been stationed here in Skormp. With this information, Atticus consulted his beggar spy network. They informed him Hilaf Loroun was a minor noble of the Loroun family, the second son, and the family resided in an estate on the Western side of the Ward of Nobility near the Outer Wall for the Ward. With this information, Kale was able to scry on Hilaf Loroun. He saw him in an embroidered (HL) blue suit with brass buttons, sitting in a high back chair in a stone room, sipping hot tea (refilled by a servant) in front of a giant fireplace with books on another wall. The entire time he was reading a book entitled "Nobility and Presentation".
  With this information, the party managed to detect (thanks to Kale's magical ability) where the estate was. They found it to be a brick estate, about 250 feet on any given side and surrounded entirely by a 20' tall brick wall with a large wooden double door at the front. The main building of the estate was two stories of brick with windows around it and curtains drawn in all of them. A few chimney's puffed smoke while the smaller brick buildings on the grounds (servants or guest quarters perhaps) were still. Tork knocked on the front door of the estate as Atticus went invisible. Tork tried to talk their way in with Alena Birch's help, but the steward who answered insisted they were sitting down to dinner. With this the party gave him the information that Hilaf Loroun should call upon them at the Absolute Majesty II in the Southern Harbor where Alena Birch and Tork had questions for him. At the end of this exchange, as the gate was closing on the estate, Atticus managed to get inside and reup his invisibility without being seen to his knowledge (except by Kale).
  Once the steward was back inside, Atticus removed the cross brace from the door and the rest of the party snuck in with Wren magically aiding their sneaking while Alena Birch turned into an Owl via Tork's wand of polymorph and Kale transformed with his own magic into a raven. The party then made their way to the front door where Kale and Muninn circled overhead watching and Alena Birch as an owl perched on a nearby window to listen in on dinner conversation.
  Alena Birch heard generally a father, two sons, and a daughter, discussing the upcoming gala of King Jorip as well as trade deals that would set their family for the future. While this was happening, Atticus daringly picked the front door, snuck into the main hallway (three doors on either side, a staircase at the end going upstairs, and a door opposite of where Atticus entered as well. Hearing the dinner sounds from the first door on the left, Atticus burst the door open and ran inside to a corner where he didn't seem to be detected while invisible. The conversation continued with the same drivel until Atticus decided to do something about it. He snuck behind the ruddy and larger older brother's chair, disguised himself as Roland Spice, and then after everyone got a look at him, cast a magical darkness. In the darkness he crudely cut the symbol of the The Oasis Society (guild) into the elder son's cheek and crashed through the window to leave. With this, the party made their way back to the Absolute Majesty II around 8PM on HearthWarmth 11, 2597. The next day they would await their summons for an audience with King Jorip only two days before the King's Gala on HearthWarmth 14, 2597.  

Rejected Session Names

  • Inconsiderate to Masturbate at 5:55
  • Hang On, I Need to Chug This
  • Smoke It With Some Cherry Wood
  • Don't Tell Atticus, It's Cannibalism
  • Cherry Smoker
  • Shit in the Corner with a Bucket
  • Perfect Comedic Timing
  • He Doesn't Have Disposable Thumbs
  • Working On How to Kill a God
  • 10AM? I'm Drunk
  • Natural State of Drunk?
  • Normally Sober, Maybe a Little Buzzed
  • High Off Magic
  • RCAN is My Supplier
  • It's Winter Here?
  • Fireball to Save Cameel?
  • Two Cannons on This Bitch
  • Most Importantly, The Short Sword
  • ...No One Else Is Paying Taxes Right?
  • RCAN Is Paying Your Taxes?
  • Benefactor is Paying
  • No Eye, No Hand Tiara Combo
  • Tork, You're a Little To Big For Me
  • Kale Is The Perfect Size
  • You Asked Him to Shoot Alena?
  • Bumping Uglies and Reduce That Size
  • Nervous of Alena
  • A strong 6. Like a 6.4
  • Skip Cut Scene, Skip Cut Scene, Skip Cut Scene
  • A Third Workout
  • Jandar Didn't Kill Himself
  • Lost That Bet
  • Side Bets In Game?
  • One Life Debt and One Favor
  • One Life Debt is a Write Off
  • It's About Noonish, Anyone Want to Go For a Drink?
  • Are You Finally Getting Married
  • Describe Tork Blushing
  • Anime Tork
  • Still Can't Call Him Your Husband Yet
  • That's Disgusting, Congratulations
  • Really Glad We Decided to Live Communally
  • Have to Kill a Deity, Bye Love!
  • Lesser Deity, Lesser!
  • Go Ask Plants for Questions
  • A Roadie or a Walkabout
  • One for the Road
  • What's His Face (3 Hours Post Rodan)
  • I Did Get Shot
  • Gold and Fear By Loyalty
  • Do You Think Plants Will Lie?
  • Maybe Don't Smoke in the Temple?
  • Let Me Be the First
  • Zone of Plant Honesty
  • Filthy Humans That Can't Even Photosynthesize
  • In Distress Because
  • Sometimes I Like Not Gentle
  • Fog Machines
  • Plants Are Kinky
  • One For Each of Us?
  • Be Careful With The Bow
  • I've Got Some Good Quotes
  • Pancake On a Wednesday BRO?
  • Smell Your Sweaty Ass
  • No Baths This Campaign
  • Tork Went Swimming Once
  • Sharkale & Shork
  • Are Plants Creatures?
  • Tork is Not Going to Take a Piss
  • Plants Are Creatures, But No Vaginas or Assholes
  • Theft?
  • Borrow the Plant Pet
  • Anything is a Creature If You Try Hard Enough
  • It Can't Hurt
  • Tork Is Also Here
  • It Gets Gross Quick
  • The City is Gross
  • Always Attack When Someone Doesn't Expect It
  • Tork's Biggest Weapon
  • Aren't All the Trees the Same?
  • Ask Every Single Tree If It is a Plant?
  • That's Quite Perceptive
  • Munin's New Catchphrase: Erotic Roleplay
  • Surely No One Has Fires in Winter in Skormp
  • I'm Not Terrible at These
  • Locating His Clothing
  • Clothing Swap?
  • Weird Things Have Happened
  • Nobles Who Launder Money?
  • Game Plan?
  • I'm A Man of Many Talents
  • We Could... Just Ask to See Him...
  • Steward Does Not Want to Be Your Friend
  • Atticus Is In Deep
  • Sneak Sneak Sneak
  • Raven?
  • Owlena
  • Doppler Raven System
  • Fat Traitor's Cheek
  • Report Date
    19 Oct 2023

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