Session 73: I've Killed a Lot of Squirrels in the War
General Summary
The session began in the Ancient Forest of Silan where the party would be deciding their next move. This began the session, just before midnight on BranchForth 23, 2597. Questions began bubbling up about if they should go back to the benefactor. Rodan Spice suggested just walking in or trying to have an open dialogue. Other ideas were thrown around like trying make a replica of the piece of the alter of the titans they had or hiding their piece in their interdimensional room. No permanent idea was settled on, but the party decided to make camp for the night and Rodan Spice sent a message to the MotherWhore via Alena Birch:
Message to the Mother Whore
With this, Rodan Spice suggested they needed to go help her the next day in Gorsac and it was agreed to do so. During the nightly watches, everything went smoothly and Tork tried talking with animals to learn he could! He gained two squirrel companions named Thomas & Jeffery. They were extremely agressive about killing for food or doing whatever they could to get nuts and berries. With this the party awoke and headed through a tree via Kale's spell to Gorsac.
Arriving in Gorsac, the city was in shambles. The market was destroyed and there were dead people under many of the destroyed shops. Rodan Spice took off for Absolute Pleasantries and the party followed. They found it slightly burnt and with the door kicked in. Inside they found several dead bodies of both patrons and employees as well as a rakshasa who stabbed Rodan Spice while pertending to be a gentleman caller. The party attacked it but it managed to plane shift away. Among all of this, they did not find Samantha.
Alena Birch sent a message to her asking about her whereabouts:
As there was no reply, they continued to search and found a trapdoor under a bed. Atticus managed to open it with a loud knocking spell and down below they found a chest. Tork opened it and was shot by a dart which knocked him unconcious. The chest contained the profits of the Absolute Pleasantries, 45,000GP (which the party took for their pizza party fund). With this, they followed the tunnel the chest was within, going past other ladders and trapdoors until they reached the end of the tunnel under the Midal Inn. The inn was destroyed and Silverback Olasin the deskkeeper was dead. Kale and Alena Birch noticed an invisible ship sitting on top of the building, the formerly floating hideout of The Copper Claw. Going inside through a porthole and with Tork waking, they found Yowis who had Samantha and some other business partners of the claw injured but resting in the ship. Samantha and Rodan Spice reconnected briefly (talking about their mutual love of money and how to get more of it after the world was saved) and from the vantage point of the ship they could see the standard boats in the harbor were destroyed or sunk and the entire docks district was burnt to the ground. At the request of Yowis, they took the refugees to Foun as Gorsac was sacked and there is essentially no one left alive. Before leaving however, they stopped in at the only standing structure, a Gmail's Message Service.
At Gmail's Message Service Yowis sent a message and Jandar sent one to his mom. Eventually Tork sent one and Rodan Spice sent several which he later revealed to the party contained the following:
Arrving in Foun, Yowis took the refugees including Samantha to The Copper Claw outpost in the city while the party went about some errands. Tork purchased some pet supplies at a magic shop for 4500GP (a magical pet carrying backpack - modified bag of holding with an atmospehere, and accessories like a never ending berry tree, nut dispenser, and Gu'us Empire Ninja Warrior equipment). Rodan Spice and Kale bought supplies for various rituals (mainly reincarnation) and Wren also purchased some assorted goods. While on the errands, the party did notice a flyer on a back alley wall for a play that advertised:
Knowing this had to involve Cameel, the party bought tickets and went to see the show. It featured a human man named Dodan Lice and a badly built costume of a donkey. The dialogue was horrendous and the play depicted the Camel and Dodan Spice having relations. It also included the Camel praising Kale as a god and a giver of life and compassion. At the end of the play Cameel came out as the writer/producer and had an exchange with the party. There were suggestions given from some for a second play, Rodan Spice told him it was horrible and false, and Kale gave him 300GP to do a bigger production on the next one to pursue his dream. Additionally, Cameel revealed he prayed to Kale every night and Kale said he already knew. With this the party left as it was becoming dusk and found an inn where they slept the night. This ended the session, in the morning as they left an inn in Foun on BranchForth 25, 2597 heading to the The Copper Claw in Graytown.
Knee First Into a Grave
Cup of Fresh Coffee
Still Premarital Coaching
Weed Gummies for Dogs
So Your Dog Got High
"Hi" "No I'm Not"
Psychiatrist
I Can Only See Like 10' In Front of Me
Don't Ever Call Me a Gnome
The God's Don't Have Better Perception Than Kale
Relatively Easy Piece Retrieval
Rodan Doesn't Value His Life Anymore
Any Way to Replicate This Item
How Long Do Halflings Live?
Help Gather Some Supplies
Go to Gorsac?
Rodan is 1/8th of a Person
Rodan Spice Isn't a Person
Don't Start the Sentence With Bitch
She's Not a Classy Woman
Are Tork & Zirk Married?
We Definitely Have to Go Back to Gorsac or Wherever
Kale Likes Dirt
I Have A Yearning to Dig a Burrow
I Have Wood You Can Climb
About 700 Trees West of Here
Since the Friendly Fire
What the Fuck's a Pineapple
We're Team Chipmunk
You All Arouse & Rise for the Day
Wake Up in a Cold Sweat, Damnit!
Shut Up & Drink This
This is the session where it all finally falls apart
Thomas Is Not Racist, Jeffery is Very Racist
You're like, the evil neighbor watch
Rodan Goes Backwards Through Puberty
30s of Pure Agony Every Day,
I Have to Get Drunk as Soon as I Get Up Every Day?
Tork is a Squirrel Pimp Now
This is How We Got Jandar...
You Don't See All the Bodies
I Want to Die & That Wasn't Even a Really Good Hit
She Was Alive 12 Hours Ago
Tork Is Trying to Loot Our Own Establishment
You Up?
Guys, We Gotta Move the Bed
I'm Not Opening That Trapdoor
We Are Opening No More Chests
I'd Just Be Stealing From Our Business
Can't Retire If the World is Ending
Buy a New World
Find a World Where Halflings are Normal Sized
Invisible to the Naked Eye, There is a Ship On Top of the Building
I Thought I Was Going Crazy
Tork Rode a Boat in the Sky
Tork Got Head Here
Tork Got a Pet Here
Well, I'll be Damned
The Fate of the World Better Have a Good Return Rate
I Think I Never Even Met That Tree
That Tree is Just Getting Absolutely Wrecked
Gu'us Empire Ninja Warrior Set
We're Never Going to See Thomas or Jeffery Again
Turning the Nut Lever
Dropping $4500 on Squirrels
THICC Squirrels
Go Try to Check Out a Play
Dodan Lice
You're the Deity I Pray To
Kale Is An Investor
Golden Claw Might Have More Answers
Message to the Mother Whore
We have encountered trouble. I have been transformed into lowly halfling. I understand if you never want to see me again. All the best, Rodan.
Rodan, it is so good to hear from you. I feared the worst. I am in trouble. But alive is good enough for now, even if barely. Samantha.
With this, Rodan Spice suggested they needed to go help her the next day in Gorsac and it was agreed to do so. During the nightly watches, everything went smoothly and Tork tried talking with animals to learn he could! He gained two squirrel companions named Thomas & Jeffery. They were extremely agressive about killing for food or doing whatever they could to get nuts and berries. With this the party awoke and headed through a tree via Kale's spell to Gorsac.
Arriving in Gorsac, the city was in shambles. The market was destroyed and there were dead people under many of the destroyed shops. Rodan Spice took off for Absolute Pleasantries and the party followed. They found it slightly burnt and with the door kicked in. Inside they found several dead bodies of both patrons and employees as well as a rakshasa who stabbed Rodan Spice while pertending to be a gentleman caller. The party attacked it but it managed to plane shift away. Among all of this, they did not find Samantha.
Alena Birch sent a message to her asking about her whereabouts:
Samantha, we are in Absolute Pleasantries and see the devastation. Where are you? Alena on behalf of Rodan
As there was no reply, they continued to search and found a trapdoor under a bed. Atticus managed to open it with a loud knocking spell and down below they found a chest. Tork opened it and was shot by a dart which knocked him unconcious. The chest contained the profits of the Absolute Pleasantries, 45,000GP (which the party took for their pizza party fund). With this, they followed the tunnel the chest was within, going past other ladders and trapdoors until they reached the end of the tunnel under the Midal Inn. The inn was destroyed and Silverback Olasin the deskkeeper was dead. Kale and Alena Birch noticed an invisible ship sitting on top of the building, the formerly floating hideout of The Copper Claw. Going inside through a porthole and with Tork waking, they found Yowis who had Samantha and some other business partners of the claw injured but resting in the ship. Samantha and Rodan Spice reconnected briefly (talking about their mutual love of money and how to get more of it after the world was saved) and from the vantage point of the ship they could see the standard boats in the harbor were destroyed or sunk and the entire docks district was burnt to the ground. At the request of Yowis, they took the refugees to Foun as Gorsac was sacked and there is essentially no one left alive. Before leaving however, they stopped in at the only standing structure, a Gmail's Message Service.
At Gmail's Message Service Yowis sent a message and Jandar sent one to his mom. Eventually Tork sent one and Rodan Spice sent several which he later revealed to the party contained the following:
To: Charles Atticus Fitzgerald I believe you are in the business of exchanging things for servitude. There is not much I wouldn't do to become a human again. I await your reply.
I am always interested in acquiring additional servants. I can certainly make that happen. Who is this?
Rodan Spice.
I will make you human in exchange for your reporting on CAF III and other tasks as I deem fit. Do you agree?
Ugh. No. FUCK YOU.
Arrving in Foun, Yowis took the refugees including Samantha to The Copper Claw outpost in the city while the party went about some errands. Tork purchased some pet supplies at a magic shop for 4500GP (a magical pet carrying backpack - modified bag of holding with an atmospehere, and accessories like a never ending berry tree, nut dispenser, and Gu'us Empire Ninja Warrior equipment). Rodan Spice and Kale bought supplies for various rituals (mainly reincarnation) and Wren also purchased some assorted goods. While on the errands, the party did notice a flyer on a back alley wall for a play that advertised:
Romance, Lust, and Sexual Tension. The Camel & The Man.
Knowing this had to involve Cameel, the party bought tickets and went to see the show. It featured a human man named Dodan Lice and a badly built costume of a donkey. The dialogue was horrendous and the play depicted the Camel and Dodan Spice having relations. It also included the Camel praising Kale as a god and a giver of life and compassion. At the end of the play Cameel came out as the writer/producer and had an exchange with the party. There were suggestions given from some for a second play, Rodan Spice told him it was horrible and false, and Kale gave him 300GP to do a bigger production on the next one to pursue his dream. Additionally, Cameel revealed he prayed to Kale every night and Kale said he already knew. With this the party left as it was becoming dusk and found an inn where they slept the night. This ended the session, in the morning as they left an inn in Foun on BranchForth 25, 2597 heading to the The Copper Claw in Graytown.
Rejected Session Names
Report Date
18 Jul 2024
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