Session 80: Using the Foreskin is Generally Not a Good Idea

General Summary

The session then began on BranchForth 27, 2597 around 11AM in The Poisar Alliance on its East Coast in the home of the Benefactor following the his death and that of Joint Operations LLC's druid reinforcements.
Following Atticus' lead, the party first went to investigate a door he had been forbidden from entering when he was growing up. Rodan Spice found a pizza cutter like tool on the way and opened the locked door. Behind it was an ethereal mirror that slowly revealed a twisted version of the viewer and attempted to grab and pull them in by their shadow. This happened to Atticus, Kale, and Tork though all three wrenched their way away. Tork also threw Jandar the Rock Gnome into the mirror and Jandar the Rock Gnome also used his lightning gun to attempt to shoot the mirror (shooting Kale first, a wall second, and the mirror which absorbed it third). Tork eventually took it off the wall and took it with them (revealing a standard brick wall behind it).
Searching the kitchen, Rodan Spice got sloppy drunk and was healed from his drunkness by Alena Birch, thanking her with immediate projectile vomit. In the library, Tork rolled back the area rug to reveal a hidden compartment. Alena Birch dispelled the magic on it, finding a small compartment with a black leather book, a black quill, and a rectangular lockbox. The lockbox transported Rodan Spice away and when he came back claimed to have been covered in worms. Within the lockbox was 20,000 Platinum Pieces. Atticus read from an earmarked page within the black book, a clue to the remaining pieces of the altar of the titans:

Hidden in the south, Below the trees, In the ground, Remain the keys.
In the north, Under the moon, all that city, is out of tune.

They began thinking of how they would learn more, potentially asking the dragon headmaster of Lorehold College what he knows? Atticus was certain the second clue had to do with the Mage's Death and they were unsure with the second. To try to get more answers, he began a ritual to contact Silvanus. He did this via a spell and managed to ask him five questions. From these he learned that Silvanus is aware of him, knows how to use the altar of the titans in one way, and doesn't know where the pieces of the altar are. At the same time, Atticus learned Silvanus is aware Atticus wants to be dangerous.
While this was ongoing, after deciding against taking all the books, Tork tried juggling some looted swords he found. The smaller ones went well, but he lost control with the greatswords and impaled Kale's thigh. Tork also briefly insulted Wren which brought Ariata to hit Tork on the head as well as Muninn. The party, having searched the whole house, decided to go camp under magical protection in the woods for the night. Atticus cast his protective spells and those of the party who slept slept until the rays of dawn the next morning. This ended the session on BranchForth 28, 2597 around 6AM in The Poisar Alliance on its East Coast in the forest of the Benefactor's estate.

Rejected Session Names

Rodan the Dark Spice

I'm a Black Man Now

9/11

He Hates the Elderly

Kale Has a Shot

Maybe We'll Stumble Upon Valuables

Our Marriage is Beyond Life & Death

Our House

Probably Not Truly Dead...

Oberon Has a Personality

Damnit, Fuckin' Books Everywhere

It's Pretty Easy to Grab a Brain

Kale Ate a Human Brain Once

Eating a Dog or Gnome Is Bad Enough

They're Eating the Dogs in Skormp

Jandar Will Check the Chamber Pot

Pizza Cutter

We Have to Cut Off a Finger, He Won't Like That

Holding Hands with Kale

Do I Let This Happen?

Kale Doesn't Believe in Morality

Sold My Soul to a Guy for a Couple of Rods

I Just Needed Your Body

We Don't Want You Here, We Don't Like You

Got to Go Out to the Bar

Dry Dimension

Shooting Kale in the Back

Better Not Be Beef

Bag of Meat

Tastes Like Elf

I've Tasted Elf

Atticus is a Generous Lover

Throw Jandar Into a Mirror

I'm Ready to Move On From the Mirror

Investigating the Wall

Me and My Sister Wife Investigate a Brick Wall

Elvish Stone Masons, 200-300 Years Ago

I Want to Be a Joint Millionaire!

Put Here When Punished

The Gallon Challenge

Sloppier By the Second

That One is My Bad...

Projectile Vomiting on Rodan

Yes, They Do Poop

$35 At the Shelter for a New One

WORMS! THEY'RE ALL OVER ME!

Jandar: The Gnome with the Giant Dome

Can Tork Join Pornography

Pornography is Similar to Cartography

I Can't Function Without My Spells

It's a Bit Racist to Assume All Trees Know Each Other

Which God Should I Contact?

Cold Calling Wren's Dad

Kale is On All Fours, Crawling Away

Plant a Great Sword Into My Thigh

One DND is Bullshit

Are You Asking Me to Marry You...

Am I the Rebound, I'll Take It

I Use Magic Now as of A Couple of Hours Ago

Offensive Racial Magic

Tapped Yet?

Taste the Dark Spice

Booty Hole

You'd Be Surprised What a Mage Hand Can Do to a Prostate

Report Date

12 Sep 2024