Goblet Army
"...The more the Tavern runs out of Goblets, the Bigger the Goblet Army gets..."
The Goblet Army is a collection of drinking vessels that sits proudly next to Bilge’s Stove, in Norfwood Cave and belongs to the Goblins of Norfwood.
Most of the Goblets in the Army are manufactured in Uglub's Armoury.
The Armoury makes them constantly (when they are not making arms and armour and other artistic creations) as the Pit 'N' Swet Tavern always seems to be running out of Goblets.
Recruiting the Goblet Army
The more the Tavern runs out of Goblets, the Bigger the Goblet Army gets. It goes like this…
Goblins, like many creatures, enjoy a good drink almost as much as they enjoy a good tale, and favourite time to quench their thirst is while singing a
good marching song on the way home from the Tavern.So, the Goblins will sometimes take a goblet from the Tavern, and carry it back to Norfwood Cave, enjoying a drink and a song.
Once back home, the goblet will be recruited into the Goblet Army next to Bilge’s Stove and will then be used by the Goblins until whatever is put into it no longer tastes very nice and the contents are cast into the 'Sump' (see the article on Norfwood Cave
(Note that although most people will enjoy hundreds of different varieties of drink (tea, coffee, hot chocolate, wine, beer, spirits, oh dear, the list is ENDLESS ..) Goblins enjoy different SIZES of drink rather than what it is actually IN the drinking vessel.)
A type of Treasure
The Goblet Army is forever growing and changing in size and quantity.
Many unwary visitors to Norfwood Cave might mistake the Army for a chest of treasure (and the Goblins would probably agree with that assessment) but are often disappointed when confronted with a pile of goblets of varying sizes and in varying states of cleanliness.
Trade opportunities
Eventually, the goblets start to oxidise and pretty much everything put in them tastes nasty and bitter.
When this happens the goblins get Big Dave to crush the offending pewter goblets into little ingots and then GRiNdaL trades them with Dalad and the dwarves, usually in return for new pots, pan and kitchen equipment for Bilge.
Why a goblet army?
It is also called the Goblet Army for 2 reasons.
The first is because there are a lot of them - enough for a small army.
The second is because the size of the drinking vessel indicates ‘rank’ within the army:
- Generals are rare and huge.
- Only a few Goblins can ever handle a ‘General’ of Grog (and most will need a lie down afterwards). A ‘Boss’ Goblet is considered a big and hearty drink, best enjoyed on special occasions.
- A ‘Sarge’ is just a large
- A ‘Grunt’ is the usual size of cup enjoyed by all, most of the time.
Comments