S40-004: No Tragedies Today
General Summary
Mission Date: 10/20/1993
Mission Goal: To investigate rumors regarding the transaction of a supernatural object between University of Colorado Boulder and Marshall, Carter & Dark
Incidents: Agent Marino was nearly suffocated by a theater kid under the influence of SCP-701, but no casualties were reported during the investigation/apprehension of this entity. All instances of SCP-701 were confiscated, the performance of the Hanged King's Tragedy was cancelled, and all members of the stage production were provided with mid-level amnestics and strongly urged to switch majors.
Mission Goal: To investigate rumors regarding the transaction of a supernatural object between University of Colorado Boulder and Marshall, Carter & Dark
Incidents: Agent Marino was nearly suffocated by a theater kid under the influence of SCP-701, but no casualties were reported during the investigation/apprehension of this entity. All instances of SCP-701 were confiscated, the performance of the Hanged King's Tragedy was cancelled, and all members of the stage production were provided with mid-level amnestics and strongly urged to switch majors.
THE FOLLOWING IS THE TRANSCRIPT OF A CONVERSATION BETWEEN
SCP SITE 40 DIRECTOR SIMON PEÑA AND HIS SECRETARY MAYA █████ RECORDED ON OCTOBER 22, 3:39 P.M.:
Simon: One of the greatest successes in Site 40's history, and we don't even get to hold onto any trophies!
Maya: Director, part of your promotion to the position of Site Director included training material regarding how all instances of SCP-701 will be stored and contained at Site-██.
Simon: But we couldn't even keep a single playbill! Imagine having a copy of The Hanged King's Tragedy just hanging in my office!
Maya: It would no doubt look quite impressive, however it would be in violation of all containment protocals regarding the entity.
Simon: Fine, fine, at least we get the bragging rights of the first Foundation Site to successfully neutralize an instance of SCP-701. Seriously, a zero percent fatality rate during the initial investigation AND zero fatalities during the Team "██████" raid! This is the year's most successful mission to date, what can we do to capitalize on this success?
Maya: Pursue more instances of SCP-701, potentially eliminating them from all at-risk locations in North America?
Simon: Very funny, █████, you know what I mean! If we can handle some copies of an evil play, what else should we be facing off against?
Maya: Perhaps we should face off against our Site's painfully high mortality rates? Regardless of whether we're fighting SCP-701 or 682, we should have more systems in place to reduce casualties to the lowest levels possible given our line of work.
Simon: Yeah, but we can do that by expanding our base of operations or gaining clearance to higher-security tech. I want to find out why we have so many satellites focused on Jupiter!
Maya: Yes sir, I have notes dating back to '88 about your regional ambitions. In the meantime we must continue to improve mortality rates, successfully contain the Keter-class entities currently in our possession, and collect as much information as possible from our imprisoned liason from Marshall, Carter, & Dark.
Simon: At the very least this should be enough to get us another SCP we can drink from. Any updates from that Nicole girl?
Maya: She'll recover comfortably at our on-site facilities, she's shaken but she should still prove effective on future missions.
Simon: Put her at the top of the rotation, we only have her for a year before she returns to Duke so I want to make sure we make the most of her while we have her. Any thoughts on the other Odd Couple agents?
Maya: Agents Kramer and Mullen were both visibly intoxicated by the end of the mission, perhaps still grappling with the trauma from the Rio Grande incident less than two weeks prior. Agent Daly worked surprisingly well under pressure, cutting Agent Marino free from the Hanged King's noose despite the threat of potential decapitation with her machete.
Simon: Aimee's the kind of agent that'll have a long career here at the Foundation, scrappy enough to make sure they're always the first to escape a nasty situation. Put her in high rotation as well, if our mission mortality rates refuse to go down we'll need at least one survivor to report back to Site 40.
Maya: Very well, I'll update you on any breakthrough discoveries from their psychological counseling sessions.
Simon: I'll be looking forward to it! Just make sure there's a cup of black coffee waiting next to that folder too.
[CONVERSATION ENDS WITH SECRETARY MAYA █████ LEAVING SIMON'S OFFICE, EMITTING A DETECTIBLE SIGH UPON CLOSING THE DIRECTOR'S OFFICE DOOR]
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