Bridges of Falport
Bridge of Dangling Participles - many years ago this bridge was adorned with boards on which the genitals of rapists, rapers, ravishers, and defilers (all these being nuances of the same crime, all with the same punishment) were nailed - on occasion, the offending members were first removed from the offender prior to aforementioned bridge adornment. The boards were displayed as a warning to sexual predators, in the unlikely event that the screams of those not separated from their genitals did not make the point clear.
The name for this bridge that connects the western and central portions of the Soggybottom ward over the Old Bariatric river comes from a misunderstanding of what a "participle” was...the preceding "dangling" seeming to suggest something other than grammar.
Bridge of the Cunning Linguist - spanning Old Bariatric between Trenchtown and Fist Island, the Bridge of the Cunning Linguist was one of two bridges built to connect Trenchtown to Rock Bottom via Fist Island and the Friendship Bridge.
Bridge of the Six - connecting the two halves of Trenchtown over the Ursine Stream, this bridge was built after the bridge it replaced was stolen. This bridge was named for the Magnificent Six - a home-grown band of heroic adventurers known across the continent for their acts of bravery.
Bridge of the Temple of the Temple of the One True Gods - this bridge connects the Temple of the Temple of the One True Gods to Falport's Upper District over the western half of St. Ignatius' Water. As the average Falportian finds the name of this unimaginatively-named bridge a bit long for common use, they find "the fuckin' bridge to the fuckin' temple what has all them posh-churchy fuckers init" more agreeable.
Flooded Bridge - at the time this bridge was built it was known as the Dock Bridge, as it connected the eastern and central portions of Soggybottom (over the Golden Stream, Ursine Stream) near the Soggybottom Docks. Over time, the slow subsidence of the Soggybottom ward resulted in it being known as the Low Bridge, and later the Sinking Bridge. The bridge is now known as the Flooded Bridge owing to it being slow close to the surface of the Ursine Stream that during periods of heavy rain it is possible to cross the bridge and appear to be walking across the surface of the Ursine (assuming the current isn't too strong).
Friendship Bridge (Destroyed) - The Friendship Bridge was one of two bridges, the Bridge of the Cunning Linguist being the other, built to connect Trenchtown and Rock Bottom via the Fist Island. Shortly after its completion, the wooden Friendship Bridge "caught fire" and collapsed into Old Bariatric; shortly thereafter, the bridge was rebuilt and, once again, it burned an collapsed into Old Bariatric. A third time the Friendship Bridge was rebuilt (this time out of stone) and, inexplicably it burned and collapsed into the river. Funds were allocated to rebuild the bridge that was obviously unwanted by some very determined individual or individuals, but those funds were diverted to a more viable project (painting the inside of the High Ward's sewer system).
Golden Bridge (Stolen) - this bridge was built to cross the Golden Stream (now the Ursine Stream) in Trenchtown. One evening the bridge was stolen and a ransom note was left demanding a large sum of coin for the "safe return" of the bridge. Unfortunately for the bridgenappers, the sum demanded for the return of the bridge was far greater than the cost of rebuilding the bridge, and the bridge was rebuilt and named the Bridge of the Six.
Noble Bridge - the Noble Bridge crosses the Deep Rock River immediately outside the Griffon Gate to the High Ward. The residents of the High Ward demanded the name to reflect the status of their particular ward, while the remainder of Falport saw this as a reflection of the High Ward's disconnection from reality.
The name for this bridge that connects the western and central portions of the Soggybottom ward over the Old Bariatric river comes from a misunderstanding of what a "participle” was...the preceding "dangling" seeming to suggest something other than grammar.
Bridge of the Cunning Linguist - spanning Old Bariatric between Trenchtown and Fist Island, the Bridge of the Cunning Linguist was one of two bridges built to connect Trenchtown to Rock Bottom via Fist Island and the Friendship Bridge.
Bridge of the Six - connecting the two halves of Trenchtown over the Ursine Stream, this bridge was built after the bridge it replaced was stolen. This bridge was named for the Magnificent Six - a home-grown band of heroic adventurers known across the continent for their acts of bravery.
Bridge of the Temple of the Temple of the One True Gods - this bridge connects the Temple of the Temple of the One True Gods to Falport's Upper District over the western half of St. Ignatius' Water. As the average Falportian finds the name of this unimaginatively-named bridge a bit long for common use, they find "the fuckin' bridge to the fuckin' temple what has all them posh-churchy fuckers init" more agreeable.
Flooded Bridge - at the time this bridge was built it was known as the Dock Bridge, as it connected the eastern and central portions of Soggybottom (over the Golden Stream, Ursine Stream) near the Soggybottom Docks. Over time, the slow subsidence of the Soggybottom ward resulted in it being known as the Low Bridge, and later the Sinking Bridge. The bridge is now known as the Flooded Bridge owing to it being slow close to the surface of the Ursine Stream that during periods of heavy rain it is possible to cross the bridge and appear to be walking across the surface of the Ursine (assuming the current isn't too strong).
Friendship Bridge (Destroyed) - The Friendship Bridge was one of two bridges, the Bridge of the Cunning Linguist being the other, built to connect Trenchtown and Rock Bottom via the Fist Island. Shortly after its completion, the wooden Friendship Bridge "caught fire" and collapsed into Old Bariatric; shortly thereafter, the bridge was rebuilt and, once again, it burned an collapsed into Old Bariatric. A third time the Friendship Bridge was rebuilt (this time out of stone) and, inexplicably it burned and collapsed into the river. Funds were allocated to rebuild the bridge that was obviously unwanted by some very determined individual or individuals, but those funds were diverted to a more viable project (painting the inside of the High Ward's sewer system).
Golden Bridge (Stolen) - this bridge was built to cross the Golden Stream (now the Ursine Stream) in Trenchtown. One evening the bridge was stolen and a ransom note was left demanding a large sum of coin for the "safe return" of the bridge. Unfortunately for the bridgenappers, the sum demanded for the return of the bridge was far greater than the cost of rebuilding the bridge, and the bridge was rebuilt and named the Bridge of the Six.
Noble Bridge - the Noble Bridge crosses the Deep Rock River immediately outside the Griffon Gate to the High Ward. The residents of the High Ward demanded the name to reflect the status of their particular ward, while the remainder of Falport saw this as a reflection of the High Ward's disconnection from reality.
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