Pathless
I am done. I am completely, utterly done. I wander in the dark, and I have no path.
This wild chase around the continent, this constant vigilance. Assassins, both us and against us. My mind, still completely shattered, my connection to the my people severed.
And now this.
I wanted to believe it so badly. I have for several years now. A goddess, a good goddess, capable of slaying demon lords. Imagine the possibilities. The potential. So much suffering that we would be able to alleviate, to negate, to prevent entirely. Too good to be fucking true. Of course.
"The Redeemer Queen" Varkallin said. "She wants to be the protector of exiles, goddess of artists, and shed her past". How naïve I was. Trusting a demon to become good? It goes against every single thing anyone is ever told as a child. But yeah, sure Jacquie. This one is good, because it sounds nice.
Ten years. Ten years wasted. It is no long time, but all that I have done in her service. The people I've sheltered. The inconsistencies I've turned a blind eye to. A literal succubus being planted in connection to the Akkonian court on her bidding by me. My non-descript answers to a group of people who I've been in the deepest of troubles with. All the while adamant in my faith. This will pass. She will be known as the Redeemer Queen to all, and she will take her rightful place in the pantheon. If I just push further. If I just hold fast to her. I will lie to my parents, that they do not find out and be worried. They will understand in the end. MORON. IDIOT. HOW COULD I BE SO DUMB?
She asked me to betray Izdubar. When he would be located in Rankarrus, I was to make sure he did not find a way out. He would be stuck forever. "A fitting end" she said.
That is not the belief of a good goddess. That is not the a stance of a goddess adamant on ending demon lords for the good of the world, or the protector of exiles. Izdubar IS a fucking exile. This was the bidding of a demon lord of subversion and betrayal, and she demanded of me, her loyal follower, to do this or to stop leeching from her powers. I am not a follower of a fucking demon. I am not a cleric of subversion and betrayal, I won't stand for this. She can keep her dirty magic. She can keep her schemes, her subterfuge, her backhanded business and her whoring. I'm done being taken for granted.
I will leave her behind me. I will use her powers one last time to warn Izdubar. Fitting use for her magic at least. Protecting the exile. She won't be the one severing her magic from me. Fuck that. I choose my own way, I will cut it myself. I will find someone more worthy of my service, that will help me put an end to the Karapanate and whatever the fuck they are planning to do with the yellow books. If that so takes days or weeks, I do not care.
I've come to realize that beauty is for the vain, the easily charmed and the optimists. The world is beautiful, but it can never be beauty alone that eradicates what is corrupt and broken.
I retract my earlier statement. I am not pathless. I have a path. I just need the right power to give me a light.
I hope Nocticula chokes on Vyriavaxus' dick.
Jacqualine's Journal Ordered oldest to newest
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Developments
17 Nov 2022 03:49:11
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Send help
21 Dec 2023 05:01:15
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The Journal Entry’s title
30 Jan 2024 04:46:23
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Pathless
30 Jan 2024 04:46:26
17 Nov 2022 03:49:11
21 Dec 2023 05:01:15
30 Jan 2024 04:46:23
30 Jan 2024 04:46:26
The major events and journals in Jacqualine's history, from the beginning to today.
Session XLV
09:03 pm - 24.09.2024Session XLV
09:02 pm - 24.09.2024Session XLIV
10:50 pm - 11.07.2024Session XLIV
10:50 pm - 11.07.2024Session XLIII
10:08 pm - 19.06.2024Session XLIII
05:31 pm - 19.06.2024Session XLII: Operation Blazing Night
09:35 pm - 13.06.2024Session XLII: Operation Blazing Night
09:35 pm - 13.06.2024Session XLI
09:26 pm - 26.03.2024Session XLI
04:55 pm - 26.03.2024Session XL
01:18 am - 20.03.2024Session XL
04:52 pm - 14.03.2024Session XXXIX
09:44 pm - 03.03.2024Session XXXIX
04:26 pm - 03.03.2024Session XXXVIII
10:03 pm - 15.02.2024Session XXXVIII
05:39 pm - 15.02.2024Session XXXVII
09:47 pm - 07.01.2024Session XXXVII
03:38 pm - 07.01.2024Session XXXVI
10:20 pm - 21.12.2023Session XXXVI
04:40 pm - 21.12.2023Session XXXV
10:05 pm - 11.12.2023Session XXXV
05:06 pm - 11.12.2023Session XXXIV
08:40 pm - 30.11.2023Session XXXIV
04:49 pm - 30.11.2023Session XXXIII
08:57 pm - 11.11.2023Session XXXIII
04:45 pm - 11.11.2023Session XXXII
08:01 pm - 24.10.2023Session XXXII
03:59 pm - 24.10.2023Session XXXI
07:51 pm - 12.10.2023Session XXXI
07:51 pm - 12.10.2023Session XXX
08:10 pm - 05.10.2023Session XXX
04:10 pm - 05.10.2023Session XXIX
08:34 pm - 24.09.2023Session XXIX
12:43 pm - 24.09.2023Session XXVIII
07:57 pm - 12.09.2023Session XXVIII
01:41 pm - 12.09.2023Session XXVII
08:31 pm - 27.08.2023Session XXVII
11:16 am - 27.08.2023Session XXVI
09:11 pm - 13.07.2023Session XXVI
09:11 pm - 13.07.2023Session XXV
09:52 pm - 05.07.2023Session XXV
03:56 pm - 05.07.2023Session XXIV: Nightgaol's Nightmare
09:43 pm - 29.06.2023Session XXIV: Nightgaol's Nightmare
03:05 pm - 29.06.2023Session XXIII
08:57 pm - 27.06.2023Session XXIII
04:47 pm - 27.06.2023Session XXII
08:53 pm - 04.06.2023Session XXII
01:03 pm - 04.06.2023Session XXI
09:14 pm - 25.05.2023Session XXI
02:10 pm - 25.05.2023Session XX
06:06 pm - 18.05.2023Session XX
11:25 am - 18.05.2023Session XIX
09:19 pm - 07.05.2023Session XIX
01:46 pm - 07.05.2023Session XVIII
08:23 pm - 23.04.2023Session XVIII
02:55 pm - 23.04.2023Session XVII: Code of the Army
09:12 pm - 11.04.2023Session XVII: Code of the Army
04:51 pm - 11.04.2023Session XVI: Eye of the Storm
08:00 pm - 26.03.2023Session XVI: Eye of the Storm
06:37 pm - 26.03.2023Session XV
11:53 pm - 16.03.2023Session XV
04:03 pm - 16.03.2023Session XIII
08:38 pm - 20.02.2023Session XIII
05:12 pm - 20.02.2023Session XII: Ex Malo Bonum
09:38 pm - 13.02.2023Session XII: Ex Malo Bonum
05:29 pm - 13.02.2023Session XI
11:08 pm - 31.01.2023Session XI
11:08 pm - 31.01.2023Session XI
06:26 pm - 31.01.2023Session X
10:48 pm - 17.01.2023Session X
05:15 pm - 17.01.2023Session IX: Service in Eternity
10:28 pm - 08.01.2023Session IX: Service in Eternity
05:32 pm - 08.01.2023Session VIII
08:57 am - 09.12.2022Session VIII
05:42 pm - 08.12.2022Session VII:
10:41 pm - 24.11.2022Session VII:
10:41 pm - 24.11.2022Session VII:
04:14 pm - 24.11.2022Session VI:
12:05 am - 18.11.2022Session VI:
12:05 am - 18.11.2022Developments
I am at a lack for words. To simply write sigh, would be an understatement of my current state of mind. Invited by the High Judge (etc. etc. etc.), I found myself in Akkur. The dwellings of men are quaint, to be sure, but this large a gathering of this ...
03:46 pm - 17.11.2022Session V:
09:38 pm - 10.11.2022Session V:
04:53 pm - 10.11.2022Session IV: Twilight Advocates
09:25 pm - 03.11.2022Session IV: Twilight Advocates
06:51 pm - 03.11.2022Session III: Shadow Ascendant
08:21 pm - 30.10.2022Session III: Shadow Ascendant
04:21 pm - 30.10.2022Session II:
11:39 am - 19.10.2022Session II:
11:39 am - 19.10.2022Session I: Ambush!
09:54 pm - 11.10.2022Session I: Ambush!
09:54 pm - 11.10.2022The list of amazing people following the adventures of Jacqualine.
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