Boat - 25th of Arborus, 1485

We’ve been on this boat for too long. It is of a comfort to be with Grimmauldus and Inara again, not to mention Dekar, but I have never particularly liked travel by water.
 
I never let it on to the others – it is weakness – but the only reason I did as well as I did in our earlier ventures was due to worrying about other things. That and doodles. I miss Damien and Doodles though. But I understand, Damien has lands to run and should things sour I know I have a place with him. And Garrick.
 
I deeply miss Garrick. A part of me is glad that he never saw me with Dekar. He would laugh himself silly and make many ribald jokes at us I am sure.
 
I can’t help it though. Dekar makes me smile. Not one of my mask smiles either. Sometimes with him I feel so young and alive.
 
It doesn’t help that my beloved trains as much as he does. Even as I write this he practices with Meriwald on deck.
 
Perhaps I should stop staring. We’ve already broken the bed in our quarters and I dread asking Inara to help me magically repair anything from our…alone time.
 
Maybe I should remind Meriwald that I understand elvish? And that Dekar does too?
 
Nevermind, it is more amusing this way anyway.
 
Grimmauldus says that we will arrive near his homeland soon. Praise be to the Blood Lord, I am half starved. Rats don’t sustain one for long.
 
A part of me wonders if I should be worried that the hunger remains.
A part of me does not care. It is hard to combat over a decade of lassitude and numbness. Sometimes I care not to be alive at all. But then my friends – and Dekar – remind me that I am becoming something new something different.
 
I wonder what I will be when this journey ends?
 
A gnome is staring at us. There is an odd sort of movement in their clothes. Perhaps they have an animal companion. It is of no matter to me.
 
I keep watch.