I was a bit confused as to what a Hafla was. From what Grimmauldus explained it was some sort of revel. I still am not entirely comfortable with these sorts of events.
I always feel on edge at them. Perhaps it has to do with my background of being raised as a shaper of politics. I was intended to be a temptress, a swayer of politics using my youth and beauty and power. To spread the influence of the blood lord to all.
Now that I don’t necessarily have that purpose I am more easily able to recognize my feelings of discomfort in crowds. I don’t like them. But my friends and love are here so I shall focus on them instead of my own unease.
I think some of my unease truly stems from my lack of purpose now. I don’t know what I truly want anymore apart from information. I know I still believe the tenets of the blood lords faith but do I follow him anymore? I wonder sometimes as I find myself wondering more and more often about the dreams Grimmauldus spoke of me and the discovered knowledge of something being put into me. I don’t really know where I stand anymore in terms of purpose, particularly now knowing for certain that Dekar plans to destroy the blood lord. Everything is confusing and nothing that used to make sense does anymore.
And I am hungry again….