Gone Fishing

Truth be told… I don't really enjoy the act of fishing. I like eating the fish I catch and I go fishing pretty often… but the act of fishing isn't fun to me.
 
Tossing a line and sitting idle for however long it takes some fish to notice your bait is not a thrilling activity. It's pretty unlikely you are going to catch anything significant off a small pier anyway.
 
I've seen several boats along the docks willing to sell their services for deep sea fishing where you can catch the big impressive fish… but that's more a thing for tourists who want to pay for the experience. That being said, Teremun might enjoy it, mostly because by the end he would be practically garunteed a large fish to cook.
 
I don't go fishing for the love of doing it. I go fishing because it's a good way to pass the time and think. A chance to get away from the Lodge and stew in my own thoughts for a bit. The others held little interest in the activity. Down by the docks there was little chance Pari might encounter wildlife she hadn't already seen, drawn, and studied. Vurak, as always, had tinkering to do and projects to work on. Teremun was usually satisfied with whatever fish I might bring, so felt little need to go himself. Noct would join me occasionally, but rarely fished.
 
Whenever Noct did join, we would usually just chat or Noct would watch the scenery and the open ocean for inspiration. Although, knowing Noct, they may be a little more interested in the activity if I went fishing at night rather than in the day.
 
.for now, I was alone. Today the pier was mostly empty and quiet. Perfect for me to find a nice spot to settle down and cast my line out into the water.
 
As I watched the gently lapping waves, I took a moment to let my mind wander as I considered my brief time in Qesir.
 
The few days I had spent here had been more dramatic and intense than anything I had experienced in the six months that Noct and I traveled. The Black Fang, That Monster in Bailah, the infinite mysteries of the Shar, and my strange new companions.
 
It was a lot to take in.
 
Sure, the entire crux of the new direction I set for my life was to do something Heroic and have the name Bellamy Bashira earn its place in history. I had expected danger and drama… but expecting something like that is very different to experiencing it.
 
It was times like this when doubt sinks in, as it often does. Could I do what I had planned? Should I be even trying?
 
Others had been quick to point out that they thought my goal carried a distinct amount of foolishness and arrogance… they were perhaps right about it being foolish. Noct was very much my enabler, despite how foolish a concept it was.
 
As much as I was rising to the challenges being thrown before me, I wasn't entirely sure if I could continue to new the rising escalation.
 
Hell, moreso than just the rising challenge, did i deserve the chance to be doing any of this? A new form of doubt had been eating at me since we reached Qesir. The weight of the story I was trying to tell was starting to press on my shoulders as I realized just how difficult it would be to maintain. Image and identity were fragile things in my hands and the past was more then willing to knock them away from me.
 
Could i actually succeed my goal as intended? Did I actually want to? Did some part of me crave the release of failure and discovery?
 
It was no surprise that it was beginning to weigh on me.a journey that started on impulse, a knee-jerk reaction from my life being turned upside down. In many ways my journey had only just begun, yet it had already been six months. That's a lot of time to think about something.
 
I still did want to do better, to be better, To earn the chance I was given but the mere act of standing here and calling myself-
 
Hmm? Oh.
 
A fish was nibbling the line