8th Rekindling, 9048

Scipio... I'm so sorry young one. I wish I could trade your life for mine. We arrived too late to save the boy and Linthea unleashed some sort of death spell on a new companion of ours named Sylivar. He fell to the ground dead, instantly. I tried to talk things out with Linthea but she drove me into a rage when she mentioned casually killing us all and bringing us back later. I don't want to come back again. Death didn't curse me, rebirth did. And I won't see these people die before me. I owe them that much. I can't believe how easy it is to manipulate me, either. I found myself charmed by Linthea by some means and let slip Xilmoira's precious secrets... I wish she would just knock me into the dirt than threaten me. Don't I deserve that? Hasn't she earned that? What an ugly day, but I guess I found a new sword so I'm sure that'll make me feel better.
How do I ever make things right with Xilmoira? How can I make Walker trust me to get him to open up? How do I tell Throden it's her sister's choice to come back to life? How do we rebuild the life Milos had in his hometown after it was lost? Eldath, I beg of you for answers. I can't keep journaling my pain into these pages, it's only making me feel worse. I need to find the hope that I know is hidden amongst us.