Why do I even try. And why do I insist on regurgitating my failures into this journal, as if I were to learn something from them. I thought maybe I could save us from arrest and also learn more about the Didacy/Consulate relations in one fell swoop but it only got us deeper into the mud. Roleplaying used to come naturally to me back when it was part of my job, but this new life is just a constant stream of stress and guilt. The worst part is that I love these people, but I continue to hurt them.
None of that compares to the new truth I now bear. My rebirth was no miracle. I wish I could speak more on this. Strange forces are at work and I'm very tired and empty. Praying for a better dawn ahead- these people deserve it.