3/31/2021 Ol’ dirty Tina done put out the call

3/31/2021 Ol’ dirty Tina done put out the call
 
LeRoy, Igor, Ruby, Beadle, and Eileen respond to a letter sent by LeRoy’s grandmother Ol’ Dirty Tina “Listen y’all, ol’ dirty Tina done put out the call for the kinfolk to skitter back to the holler. And if Granny is putting out the call, you know I gotta get back there faster than green grass through a goose. It’s those Hatfields up to no good again. They done killed off half the green in the holler, and if anything is going to put a burr under Granny Tina’s saddle, that’d be it. Anyone interested in kicking those egg-suckin’ Hatfields back to where they belong? Who’s with me? Let’s do it for Granny Tina.”
 
As they head towards the scrublands the start to see the trees are dried up, dying or burned. Once they make it to Ol dirty Tina’s hut they see the 60’ surrounding the hut is still lush and vibrant. Tina invites the group in and offers cookies and strange but strong tea. She goes on to explain her suspicion of the Hatfields and their nightly rituals around a black tree in the woods on the other side of the yellow creek. Fucking Hatfields…
 
In order to cross the creek it is decided that LeRoy needs to be disguised to not be seen as a McCoy. A short montage later with the aid of Eileen’s makeup and Igor’s Cloak of many Fashions LeRoy is turned into a pretty lady who is definitely not a McCoy. They head off over the creek to investigate the black tree. Coming upon a black twisted and gnarled tree they see 3 elves chanting and dancing around it, one is holding a headless chicken. LeRoy has a hard time hearing but hears familiar prayers to Corellon. Eileen addresses the group posing as a lost traveler looking for town. The elves decide to help her by giving her beer and teaching her to sing free bird. She learns that they believe the McCoys are responsible for the dying woods and have been doing ancient prayers at the tree to slow the decay. A short conversation about decay, moonshine, and weed follows. They receive instructions on how to find their way back to town using the units of measure bph (beers per hour) and verses of freebird and head on in search of the corruption. They find themselves at the ruins where the lizardgoatbatpig who was killing horses at the broken nail ranch was hiding out. There are now 5 orcs who have been excavating the ruins with a Human woman shouting orders at them. Combat ensues…. As the combat continues the woman knows Eileen, the party knocks her unconscious and takes her as a prisoner for later questioning. The party attempts to question her but it is short lived before she convulses, foams at the mouth, bleeds from the ears and dies.
 
They decide to head into the hole where they encounter 3 orcs and a giant human man who turns into a wareboar. Combat ensues…. They emerge victorious. They find the altar has been robbed of its orb, Returning to the corpse of the wearboar they find the orb in his cloak. Beadle uses his mage hand to return the orb to the altar. It showers the room in a glowing green light causing the parties hair to grow slightly.