Yuja

What do I do, Yvelda?
 
What do I do?
 
They're destroying it. Burning it. Artemis, his home, they're
 
I can't. I couldn't. They were my people. They still are my people.
 
Aren't they, Yvelda?
 
I'm not sure if I can. If I even could. The thought of it, raising a weapon against a fellow Qyxpahrgh dragonborn, seeing the pain and the hurt and the betrayal.
 
Rather, would they even care?
 
Would they even look me in the eye and acknowledge me as one of their own? The naive scalesworn who never even passed into adulthood. The failure of a scalesworn who could never earn a place in his keep.
 
At that point, I imagine it'd just be like putting down a dog.
 
It hurts, Yvelda. Everything is screaming at me, and quite honestly, I want to scream back. I think you'd find this a little funny, but I can barely even manage to write this out. This is probably the worst my handwriting's ever gotten, haha.
 
... I know what I have to do. I know the only way is by combat. They'll never leave of their own volition, never back down from a fight they know they can win.
 
But every instinct, every nerve I have in my body feels like it's trying to rebel against me.
 
I'm shaking right now, Yvelda. Did I mention that? That's why my handwriting is so terrible, hah...
 
I can't stop thinking about it. About what would happen if I were to raise a claw against another Qyxpahrgh dragon. I've seen it so many times before, seen others fight and claw and kill with such ease. I know how to do it. I know I have to do it. But when I think of it, think of myself as the attacker, I just
 
If I were still home, I wouldn't even be able to write this. If anyone were to find out about these thoughts, I would've been booted out of the clan before I even made my case. Not that we get to make our case often, mind you. Disloyalty is the one crime they cannot permit. Not against others of your kind.
 
Never against others of your own kind.
 
I'd be a traitor. I'd be breaking a tenet of the clan.
 
I wish you were here. I wish you could help me. I can almost hear your voice, trying to guide me the best you can, but.
 
But.
 
You aren't here.
 
You haven't been here for a long time.
 
And you can't help me. Not with this.
 
I've spent too long running away from things.
 
They can brand me a traitor. They can brand me a coward. But they can't hurt my friend and get away with it.