GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK

BASTARD!!!!!!!! I'LL STRIP THE FLESH FROM HIS BONES. I'LL TURN HIS SKIN INTO LEATHER. DAMN HIM DAMN HIM DAMN HIM. I NEED IT. I NEED IT BACK, I HAVE TO HAVE IT. I'LL RAIZE THAT MISERABLE LITTLE HAMLET. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? I WILL RIP HIS SOUL INTO PIECES AND SCATTER THEM ACROSS ALL THE PLANES. One of the cops took one of those discs of energy I was studying :((((((((((( I think he's trying to extort me to do an errand for him. If I drop off this silly little message for him then he said he was going to give only one back! I need it for research. GIVE IT BACK GIVE IT BACK, DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.
 
When I was studying last night I found a new page in my spellbook.... It was dated for just 8 months ago. How is that possible? I know everything that was in that book. I've memorized every page, know the feel of all of the indentations made by the quill when it was written. How??? HOW???? WHY ARE YOU TAUNTING ME. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? PLEASE PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR MIND. LET ME CRACK OPEN YOUR SKULL AND SEE WHATS IN THERE. PLEASE FATHER, PLEASE SHOW ME WHAT YOU WANT. PLEASE, PLEASE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO LEARN FROM YOU, PLEASE I WORKED SO HARD TO PLEASE YOU. PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO--,,,,,, DAMN YOU, MY WRETCHED TORMENTOR. MY CREATOR, MY DESTROYER. I WANT TO CUT YOU AND SEE MY BLOOD RUN FROM YOUR VEINS. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO KNOW. YOU ARE LESS THAN THE GROUND I WALK ON.. My souls ache to unravel this mystery.
 
Got into a bar fight. Was fun, but Deimos was mean to me because I almost killed someone. (Lame). Deimos is a pain in the ass. He hates me, which I don't really understand?? But he was sort of neutral to me when I was studying last night. He seems interested in my work. THE WRETCHED FALLEN ANGEL HAS BECOME A MALIGNANT DEVIL. I guess he's probably still upset about the Arhtist thing. Still trying to come to terms about feeling remorse about it. I think I've started to understand the basics. I struggle though, because it was such a kind death??? and dear old dad only killed one of us, so thats really good! He even spared most of the lesser beings :)) Oh wait. I think that's not something to be grateful about. Hmmmm remorse is tricky. Okay okay so, I am sad and remorseful that Arhtist died because it's sad and even though he got an easy death, it's still sad because he had a life and friends and family, and I care because all life is important (?). and my dad is evil because.... he kills people? no... can't just be that, lots of people kill people. Because he... experiments on people?? How is the research going to get done?? No, no. Experimenting on people is bad. Remember the pain, remember what they did. SWEET MOURNING LAMB, PROMISED TO ME BY A MAN WHO CAN ONLY FEEL HATRED AND CONTEMPT TOWARDS YOU
 
Anyway, Deimos stabbed me with a spear :( bitch. I think Cass and the others like me tho ::DDDDDD))))) :D :)))))))) I wanna talk to Deimos. Maybe if I just talk to him I can understand why he hates me so much. I know he hates undead, but I still have SOME pieces of my soul. The little gods he used to serve couldn't even save my entire soul from the wrath of the funny little man. Maybe he'll like me more if he knows I am trying to learn how to be a compassionate person again.
 
Apparently it's weird that I hear my little soul guides in my head :) I like it best when momma comes and talks to me for a while. She's much nicer than daddy or the funny man....
 
On a cart to Pentarae!!!!!!!!!11!!!! exciting :DDDDDDDDDDDDD