Falling into Temptation

The temptation was too great to not resist. On our way from the Wizards of Wine, we were escorting the wine shipment to Kresk. At the cross-roads Strahd was waiting for us. Goddess, this vampire is relentless in his pursuit of Ireena!
 
Unfortunately Ireena was having trouble resisting Strahd. Luckily, I was able to interfere by casting a protection spell on her and blocking Strahd's way to her.
 
While we were able to put up a decent fight, I knew it was futile since we were all starting run on empty, especially spells. Suddenly I once again heard the voice from my dreams.
 
For some reason, the voice was warm and welcoming. She kept saying, 'Welcome Home' and said that I could have the power to defeat Strahd. All I had to do was accept.
 
The power and knowledge to destroy Strahd at my fingertips. Such a tantalizing offer. Along with the possibility to protect all my charges including the children… How can I say no to that? Isn't that what a mother would do?
 
When the power surged through me, it felt new and also like welcoming an old friend. Such a strange feeling. The voice, no that wasn't right, Keres told me to ask Blix about the missing pages. I did not have time at the moment as we were not finished with fighting Strahd.
 
Afterwards, while we were taking a quick break I had time to take in the changes. The changes are strange. I seem to have no eyes when I am like this, but I am able to see so much more this way. Strange… I also now have six fingers on each hand. Again very strange. I'll need to figure out what they help with. I seem to have also developed some streaks of white hair. I actually do like this look.
 
Though the one that disturbed me the most was that I was not able to connect with Rose or Thorn. My mind was quiet. While this was a bit of a relief, I wasn't sure if accepting this power was hurting the children.
 
After an hour of rest I was back to how I was before. I also took that time to talk to Blix about what was happening and about the lost pages. This brought on a story about my past. My parents were not my birth parents and I was gifted a book that I could only read.
 
Out of fear, my parents burned the book. But I went mad by it's destruction and killed more than 50 people! My master was able to stop me, but he then modified my memory of the whole thing. It makes no sense to me, what happened?
 
But Blix showed me the pages. I remembered them. I ended up filling up the book with spells and the story of Keres. I wondered what else I wrote in the book. I now have an urge to start rewriting the book. I need to remember and figure out if this will help me defeat Strahd. I need to know what is happening to me!