Dead Men Tell No Tales
General Summary
Contestants:
Shiro Captain Croaker Gaddafi Duck - deceased WallaceMission Briefing:
Future Club has instructed you to intercept and destroy the enormous troop carrier sent by The Gerrean Covenant on its way to. You will be teleported in by Long Range Teleporter Beam and you will have to make your own exit strategy. Account: Gaddafi Duck was beamed into the bathrooms of the carrier. Shiro was beamed successfully into the infirmary and quickly dispatched the medic there. Wallace and Captain Croaker beamed onto one of the two escort frigates. Croaker into the cockpit and Wallace into the main part of the ship. Croaker took the pilot hostage and made his way into the main room. The three soldiers there, distracted by Wallace, were taken by surprise as Captain Croaker opened fire with his energy rifle, vaporising the head of one of the three. Wallace then took out his handgun and blew the brains out of another. The third soldier gave himself up, letting go of his weapons and raising his hands. Gaddafi Duck noticed the presence of a soldier in one of the bathroom cubicles. He gathered up some toilet paper and blocked the bathroom's one sink, then proceeding to turn on the taps. The water quickly rose and spilled out of the sink onto the floor. Shiro noticed an access door at the end of the Infirmary and made his way into the reactor's systems. He unsheathed his katana and began to slice as much of the system as he could on his way to the generator. Wallace placed himself between the frigate's shuttle and the crew that was attempting to escape. He and Croaker ferried the remaining crew together in one place and began to try and convince the pilot to crash the frigate into the main ship. Croaker urged them all to get into the cockpit, which they hastily did. Immediately, the pilot slammed the heavy door shut, seperating them from the two contestants. Gaddafi Duck attempted to get a peek at his bathroom companion. He caught a glimpse of the Hizard soldier's anatomy that would be traumatic for anyone. But it confirmed that Duck's unluck field was working. The soldier had peed himself. As he got up and made his way out of the cubicle, he spotted the Duck waiting for him. Initially confused, he went to his colleague in the data entry room to ask him if he knew why there was a Duck in the bathroom. Shiro continued to destroy the piping. He made his way to the generator and turned it off immediately. The entire reactor shut off. Faced with this new problem, Wallace and Croaker attempted to intimidate the crew into opening the door. The crew, feeling quite safe behind their big door, did not respond. The contestants boarded the shuttle and lined it up with the door. Unfortunately, the exact mechanisms of the shuttle were unfamiliar to Croaker, and he crashed into the hull, wedging the shuttle into it. Shiro took position in the piping and waited. The Duck followed the nearby soldiers as they made their way to the access hatch. Two soldiers and three engineers. He waddled straight past them and into the tunnels. Shiro noticed through the small windows in the reactor that the second escort frigate was swapping to the other side of the ship. On the frigate, Wallace asked Croaker to remove one of the power cells from one of the frigate's reactors. He placed it by the door to the cockpit and fired. The explosion tore the cockpit apart. As the rest of the ship was beginning to catch fire violently, the two ran to the shuttle and attempted to make their escape. Wallace proved a better driver than Croaker and they escaped the burning shell as the second frigate came into view. One of the Hizard soldiers entered the access tunnel. What welcomed him was a hail of bullets from Duck's submachine guns, tearing him apart. Shiro and Gaddafi waited inside the tunnel for more soldiers, but none dared enter. Wallace and Croaker shut off all systems in the shuttle and waited until the Frigate turned away. Wallace's competent driving allowed them to land into the shuttle bay in the large carrier ship. There, they met Ben, a young technician, who Croaker promptly took hostage. Ben attempted to negotiate his freedom by mentionning his disabled sister, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Wallace, in a stroke of genius, made Ben strip and put on his clothes. Croaker then pushed Ben out of the airlock, watching as the man's naked body froze and broke into pieces in the vaccum of space. Gaddafi Duck, tired of waiting, waddled out of the room. Confused by the sight, the soldiers did not pay attention as Shiro entered his Titan form, properly destroying what remained of the access tunnel in the process. He broke his way out into the infirmary, where he crushed one of the soldiers' skulls. With this distraction, Gaddafi Duck waddled further outside of the infirmary. Now dressed as Ben, Wallace let Croaker take him hostage and they entered the main corridor through the airlock, asking to talk to the commanders. The guards by the bridge were taken aback. Wallace appealed to their humanity and mentionned Ben's disabled sister. Luckily, the guard had real trouble with faces, but remembered that story. He called to the commanders. The human commander came out, and the two guards aimed their guns at Croaker. A door to the left of Croaker opened and one of the security androids began to stumble out of the room. Croaker took his shot and ripped half of the commander apart. He stumbled back inside. Wallace broke himself in two and formed two Wallaces. The two soldiers fired, but in the chaos missed their shots. The Wallaces rushed into the workshop, ignoring the soldiers, and assaulted the technicians. They killed one swiftly, but the other seemed to be a better fighter. Croaker found himself facing the Hizard commander, who fired an electric bolt at him, getting through his armor and shocking him. Shiro ripped the second soldier to pieces. He grabbed the operating table in the infirmary and tried to block the stairs. Not quite used to his large hands yet, the door slipped and slid down the stairs. It tripped the soldiers coming up on its way down, one of them snapping his neck in his fall. Croaker, in a dire position, retreated into a side room as more shots hit left and right. Gaddafi Duck took position on the other side of the corridor and waited. The two guards took positions and began to fire at Shiro, wounding him. The security android was also on its way to the titan. As Shiro's healing was about to be overwhelmed, with a simple "Quack", he opened fire. He slaughtered both soldiers and heavily damaged the android. Croaker took position and fired on one of the soldiers coming up from the stairs, but his gun jammed and exploded in his hand, ripping a part of his armor and burning him badly. The soldier fired at him, and hit Croaker. Seeing red, Croaker froggily leapt on him, shield first, and the Hizard's neck snapped under the hit. One of the Wallaces entered the other reactor's access tunnel and made his way to the generator. The other continued to fight the technician, a task that was proving harder than planned. As the first wallace turned the reactor offline, the second finally killed the technician by glocking him in the face. With the rifle he stole from the Hizard soldier, Croaker shot the security android in the back. Clearly on its last legs, it stumbled on ahead to take Duck. But the feathery fiend opened fire and finished him off. The Android clanked loudly on the floor and the Duck quacked in victory. Shiro continued fighting the soldiers, healing as best he could between kills. Meanwhile, the Kurk commander exited the bridge, escorted by a couple of crew members. Spotting the duck, he opened fire, reducing the feathery thing into a mess of blood and guts. The Wallaces reunited in the tunnels and morphed back into a single Wallace. Croaker made his way into the cargo bay, narrowly avoiding the second seurity android, and began to look for a better weapon. Finding four frag grenades, he tossed one towards the Ranger commander and the crew members. The commander narrowly escaped the blast, while the other two crew members perished in the explosion. The Ranger commander, rather pleased with his escape, did not react in time as Shiro picked him up and bit his head clean off. Wallace entered the cargo room and joined Croaker. Together, as they ran circles around the security android, they opened each crate, gathering an energy lance and several plasma grenades. The slow android simply never caught up before Croaker tossed a plasma grenade at it, blowing it to pieces. In the meantime, Shiro ripped the stairs apart to slow the soldiers' ascent. The Hizard Commander began to attack Shiro with electric blasts. Wallace offered up some clay and Croaker made one large grenade out of the three he had left. He attempted to throw them towards the bridge, but they slipped from his hands and fell on the floor. The explosion almost took Croaker and the Hizard commander, but both are tough creatures. Unimpressed, Shiro picked up the last remaining commander by the legs and ripped him in two. With no functionning reactors and the commanders dead, there was not much left to do. Wallace and Croaker made their way to the bridge while most of the remaining crew ran away from them. Shiro, exhausted, turned a corner and turned back into his human form as more soldiers came up. A soldier followed him, but mistook him for a crew member, which Shiro used to his advantage and sliced him in two. Wallace identified the self destruction sequence and began inputing it. Meanwhile, Croaker killed another soldier and made his way back towards the shuttle bay. Meeting up with Shiro, they stopped the fleeing crew from going through to the escape shuttles. There was however, the matter of the access code. Croaker returned to his usual method and took a hostage, who gladly offered up the code in exchange for safety. Wallace finished inputting the self destruct sequence. A cowering crew member, upon understand what Wallace was doing, tackled him to the ground and attempted to take his head off. Wallace let him. With a grin on his detached head, Wallace lifted his gun and shot him. The crewman jumped off him, dodging out of the way. Shiro, concerned about his fellow contestant, strode towards the bridge, slicing another soldier on the way. Croaker took his hostage with him into the shuttle bay and selected the shuttle. He stood there and waited for his colleagues. As Wallace disposed of his opponent, he had lost a large amount of clay. He turned himself into two small Wallaces and began to run towards the shuttles. One of the Wallaces, carrying the glock, fired at the soldiers. The recoil took him off his feet and the shot went wide. Shiro fought another soldier before disengaging and making his way back to the shuttle bay. The unarmed Wallace made his way into the shuttle with Croaker, Shiro and the hostage while his second half fired again, the recoil sending him splattering on a wall. With Wallace's expert driving, the shuttle made its way out of the large carrier and far enough as it exploded into a million pieces and thousands of corpses.Consequences:
A Gerrean Covenant War Chariot, containing two thousand soldiers, lost. A Gerrean Frigate lost.
Report Date
10 Jan 2023
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