Session 26: Kale The Parrot a.k.a. I Give Halflings About An Eighth of My Memory Capacity, So No I Don't Remember You

General Summary

The session began midday on Caldra 30, 2597. The party made their way to Puff's and Brew's in the Residential District within Skormp. While there a young ginger haired barkeep took their orders for the most expensive alcohol available which at 3gp was Fizzy Pink Wizards Brew. Rodan Spice and Kale both took shots and were followed by Atticus. Alena Birch had an ale. Following this, Rodan Spice looked for a shady contact who he could reach out to about being back in town and have the word passed on to Rom Laren "The Raven". Finding no one, the party headed to Gmail's Message Service where Rodan Spice sent a message to Rom Laren "The Raven". The exchange went as follows:

Rodan: Rodan Spice is back in town.

Rom: Help Required. Sticky Situation. Meet at the Old Spot.

Rodan: Can I Bring My Friends?

Rom: Can They Be Trusted?

The party then left Gmail's Message Service and headed to their old spot which Rodan Spice remembered as being outside of his father's house. To get there the party had to enter Skormp's Ward of Nobility. Rodan Spice paid a guard 15gp (under duress) to do so and they were ushered into the Ward of Nobility. They waited outside of Rodan Spice's Father's home for nearly an hour, but Kale noticed some noble women staring at a poster and pointing at them. Upon investigating, the party discovered a wanted poster for 5,000gp by order of King Jorip for information about the Necromancer Kwrot or his accomplices who helped him escape prison in Felhelm (with their rough descriptions). At this, Kale disguised himself as a green teifling and when the party was shortly stopped by some guards, they were immediately allowed to proceed on their way.

With this encounter out of the way, the party headed to the lavish Cloud and Stars Inn. They decided to spend the night and two blue teiflings checked them in after letting them know of the cost of 200gp/night for their stay in room 303 which featured a card that is waved over the number plate to cause the walls to simply open into a door. Turning in early so they could go to the meeting spot at dark this time, the party slept until just after midnight at which they headed back out, this time with Kale as a parrot while Atticus was invisible once again. While waiting at this spot, Kale began parroting back phrases from the party until a halfling arrived to talk to Rodan Spice. One of the servants from Rodan Spice's childhood home, he was wanting to know what Rodan Spice was doing there. Rodan Spice dismissed him without giving any information. After a bit longer of waiting, Rodan Spice heard a voice in his head.

Trust No One

As Rodan Spice relayed this information to the party, they decided to head back to the Cloud and Stars Inn but Atticus remained behind. While Atticus was waiting and still invisible, he also received a message:

You might be one of them, but if you're not, trust no one

Once they all arrived back in the room, a discussion ensued about the meaning of the messages. Midway through the conversation, Rodan Spice received another message from Rom Laren "The Raven" saying:

"They are coming for us all, beware The Pact of the D..<scream>."

As the party grew worried about this message, a new one came to Rodan Spice:

Rom: "I was wrong before, it was a misunderstanding. They merely were recruiting me for an operation. I can't tell you more, I'm going undercover."

Rodan: "Who dis?"

Rom: "We don't have time for your games, you're not a child anymore Rodan"

Rodan: "What should we do?"

Rom: "Same as always. Take money, don't give it back."

A bit frustrated at the lack of mystery, the party decided to split into different activities for the evening. Wren decided to read her book on Owenak as well as Atticus's book on curses. Alena Birch spent time communing and getting closer to Artemis. Atticus went out and spent 200gp/month to recruit 16 beggars and destitute to act as an information network of sorts for him within Skormp. Rodan Spice went down to gamble and played over-under with Kale on his shoulder as a parrot. Kale repeated many things as a parrot that greatly worried the dealer at the table. When leaving the gambling area, Kale noticed Elo, a member of his coven sitting at a table and nursing a beverage. Kale left him for the time being and proceeded back upstairs with Rodan Spice. Back with the rest of the party, it was decided that the tentative plan for the time being was for Rodan Spice to read his book he got from the Library of Ta'jat ("The Art of Illusion: Mastering the Mysteries of Deception") and the party to wait the few days until their garments were ready back at the Great Market in Skormp. Kale went downstairs at this point early in the dawn hours of BriskWind 1, 2597 to talk with Elo.

Elo told Kale that he had left the coven because of all that was happening. Evidently the trees were all getting weird in the coven and starting to talk about the stars. This made Kale's adoptive elven father Athelas upset and he banned speaking to the trees. Upon probing further, Elo remembered the Barkly had begun talking about Kale in relation to stars right before the banning of conversation with the trees. At that point, Elo had left the coven because it no longer was something of which he wished to remain a part. Kale thanked him for his time and went back up to join the rest of the party.

With this, Kale and the others drifted off to sleep later that evening, and upon doing so, Kale had a dream of his Uncle Barkly. He dreamed about Barkly telling Kale he had important information for him, and he must return to the coven soon to save Barkly so he could relay the information to Kale. He acknowledged they had long been wrong in the coven about the nature of the world and that they only saw half the picture by excluding the stars. He knew Kale had been right first. With more urging to get home before Barkly was cut down and burned for his heresy, the dream ended. The next morning Kale told the party about it. They were a bit wary at first, especially Rodan Spice as they would be traveling over ten days to save a tree from being cut down. However, Rodan Spice relented and along with Atticus being interested in a possible connection to the moon, they decided to put the brakes on plans to rob Rodan Spice's father's house for the time being. They checked out of the Cloud and Stars Inn by putting their bill on Roland Spice's tab after Rodan Spice claimed to be his brother Cesantar Spice.

The party then picked up Tork and after he said good-bye to Zirk, they headed off for the docks outside the city walls on the morning of BriskWind 3, 2597. They found a captain who would take them to The Ancient Forest of Apuln (inside which Kale said Nwyfre was located) for 50gp/each. With their fare paid, the party set sail upon the river to save a tree. The next session will begin on BriskWind 3, 2597 a bit before midday.

Rejected Session Names

Twenty Five Year Olds

Get Your Asses In Here

Get Up In It

5

Taverns Surely

First Order of Business, Day Drinking

Rodan Spice is Back In Town

Does Anyone Else Feel Funny

Better Not Be Archie

Ponzi-tively Fantastic Deal

Virgin Land

Vampire Plague

100,000 Under the Name of Tork

1 Copper Piece to Get the Fuck Out of My Face

No Outside Drinks

Kale Knows Everything

10,397 Hairs On Your Head

Both a Better and Seedier Part of Town

Contact Some Old Friends

Rodan Spice Has Many Friends... Only in Skormp

I Don't Recall Any Debt

Rodan Spice is Back in Town

Wrapped Up In Shit

I Don't Want My Dad to Know I'm Here

How Many Siblings

Are We Retired Now?

No Better to Place to Spend Money Than Skormp

Rodan Is Back

Rodan Is Back: Don't Tell Dad

I Don't Think He Is Going to Tell My Dad

Father Not Your Daddy

We're Supposed to Meet My Friend Outside My Dad's House

Can Kale Stop In To Say Hi

Business

Bribing Some Guards

Lack of New Suit Problems

Pulling My Hood Down Really Far

Standing There Looking Out of Place

He'll Know I'm Here

Dignity You Just Pissed Away

If You Find a Book, I'm Probably Trapped Inside It

An Hour Is a Perfectly Acceptable Time for Performance Kale

My Dad is a Boring Piece of Shit

Who is Atticus' Daddy

Atticus Was Beat Every Night That Grades Weren't That Good

Atticus Turned Out Just Fine

I'm Always With Kale

That Could Be Anyone One This Wanted Poster

I Was Seen Entering, Not Committing The Act

Go To Your Father

My Real Dad

How Many Dad's Do You Have

Stop Prying, I Don't Ask You About Your Personal Life

Think Out Loud With Your Mouth

Right Out of Your Mouth

Non-Kale Kale

Mine's a Racial Thing, You Can't Make Fun of That

You Think I'm Afraid to make Fun of a Racial Thing

Discretion Is Always A Service We Provide

My Name is Greg Martin

I'm Gillian

That Ballad - Tell Your Betrothed I'm a Vegetarian and I'm Not Afraid of Him

Where's Bull and Cameel?

Cameel... We'll Have to Pay For That

I Sure As Hell Don't Give Him Water

Cigarettes Catching Up

Rent a Servant: A Sexual Thing?

If They're Paid Enough It Will Be

I Will Go to the Casino Another Time

Atticus Has Got to Piss Before

Can I Brush My Teeth First?

I Guess This is Morning

If You Have Cookies

I Don't Remember The Help

Kale, What Do You Think?

Kale is a Parrot

It's Sketchy, There are Halflings Out and About

In a Hallway in My Dad's House

Street Interrogation

I Really Think You Should Skedaddle

Did Your Other Person Tell My Parents We Were Standing Outside

Is Atticus Fucking With Us?

The Parrot Work Was Incredible

I Always Watch You Guys

I'm Still Hearing Voices

Beware the Pact of the D

A Sticky Situation

Best Case Scenario: Weird Sex Party

In General, Ominously, They're Coming

Roll Me an Impending Doom Check

Wasn't That He Was Dying, Just In Danger or Being Tortured

Back to Nothing to Do

I'm Disappointed

Well, Gotta Go Run Some Errands

Typical Rodan, Gambling Away His Father's Money

We Could Steal From My Parents

Let's Rob My Parents House

Do Not Kill My Father

Real Rebellious Angsty Teen

I Don't Want My Fathers Money Unless I Steal It

I Swear to God Rodan

There's No Time Better Than the Middle of the Night

Steal From Rich People

Now I Just Want a Parrot Character

Ignore My Parrot

I Won't Get Anything If You Kill Him

Doesn't Seem to Have Been a Planned Kidnapped and Torturing

Daddy

Shadiest Part of Town

No Place Like Home

Tell Me About Your Dad

I Tried to Swear Off Doing Random Crimes

Experience to Rethink Our Lives

Rodan Spice: Less Random Crime Guy

Crime Against the Rich Isn't Crime, It is Task

Kale the 8-Ball Parrot

Doing Some Bullshit

Weird Guy From My Coven

I Personally Know the Author

Did I Mention I Went to Lorehold College?

Sherlock Holmes: That Autistic Detective

I Just Want to Rob Someone Rich

If Kale Agrees to Help Me Rob A Rich Person

Down to Rob My Father

Robbing Father is Inheritance

Half to Poor People

25% to the Poor or Whatever, 25% to Help Injured Animals

Wren Starts: People for Ethical Treatment of Animals

No One Like PETA

Tax Write-off Donating to Church?

I'm In It for the Thrill

I'm Going to Stare at the Wall for 72 Hours

Kale Was Right

Stars Tell Us There Was Impending Doom Coming... Which I Forgot About That... I Should Get Back On That

Sometimes I See the Moon Before I Fall Asleep

Wasn't Artemis Goddess of the Moon...

My Theory Is, You Know the World is a Hollow Cylinder, Right?

Could Be Right, Also Could Be Really Wrong

Could It Be Because You Were Beaten as A Child?

The Cycle Still Shifts

About to Dedicate My Life's Research to the No Moon Thing

Kale Can Teach A Lot About Astrology

I Just Assumed You Were a Tree Druid

Technically I'm Betrothed to an Elm Tree

Idea Share

Kale is a Perceiving God

Better Watch Out, Atticus

That's Called Fore skinning?

My Uncle, He's a Tree, I Nearly Burnt Down

Your Uncle The Tree is In Trouble, He's About to be Deforested?

You Aren't a Tree?

He's Not My Blood Uncle

I'm Worried Your Uncle is a Tree About to Be Chopped Down

My Uncle is a Person

Trees Are People Too

"I Wouldn't Go That Far" ~Kale

Lots of Humanoids Aren't People

Are We Saving Your Uncle Barkley Or Getting Information?

Getting the Information is More Important than Saving Him

Has to Do With The Moon

I'm In

Let's Go Keep a Tree 10 Days Away From Getting Cut Down

I'm Talinka, After the Operation

That Town is 100% Vampires

DeSantos Spice, The Third Brother

Mr. DeSantis

Report Date

13 Jul 2023