Session 65: We're In the Guild Now, Officiate Our Wedding
General Summary
The session began on BloomingRoot 15, 2597 in the morning at the Spice Family Estate in Skormp following the conclusion of the 1st Annual Spice Family Gladiator Games. The party went around a number of errands as Rodan Spice bought a Gambler's Rapier (later named the Majestic Absolute) and Boots of Speed. Tork purchased a used Manuscript of Fitness, Kale purchased a tome to increase his wisdom, and Alena Birch purchased flame and exploding arrows. In addition to this, Tork sent a message to his father:
With their errands complete, Cesantar Spice was sent to find Pikeman (Rocks) as a possible assassin for the king. He unfortunately reported back that Pikeman (Rocks) had been killed after passing out from drinking with his 50k winnings from the Gladiator games on him in the squalor. At the same time, Atticus was getting reports some of his informants were going missing and that the Squalor was being armed while also about ready to burst with anger. With Rom Laren "The Raven" covering the rumors around the bombings, Joint Operations LLC focused on how to assassinate the king. After much discussion and the entertaining of asking him to officiate Tork and Zirk's wedding, they decided to approach the The Oasis Society of which they were now a part with a proposition for making more money - they set the time and date for the arrival of the fleet from the Gu'us Empire, BranchForth 13, 2597.
On the misting midday of BranchForth 13, 2597, the party arrived at King Jorip's palace, walking across the quarter mile plaza to the rising palace and found a large table in the grand hall, but otherwise a completely deserted room. Eventually King Jorip came out without guards or an entourage, and spoke just to the party while safe inside the palace's antimagic field. Joint Operations LLC pitched him on taking over the Gu'us Empire for the The Oasis Society, and eventually when hearing the sounds of battle outside, attacked the king! Both Tork and Rodan Spice struck, causing the skin to slough off and reveal a black devil underneath. The King claimed they had made him like this by using his soul in exchange for information (at least according to his superiors). He also claimed to have died and came back and that death was not binding for him. He attempted to use a scroll on the party, but was unsuccessful as Tork knocked it from his grasp with Atticus retrieving it. After the party laid into him with attacks, he became upset that he had other things he was supposed to do that day, but said 'Fuck it', and summoned a meteor storm on top of them.
The meteors knocked out Kale, Wren, and Atticus as the devil King Jorip was 'killed'. After healing the downed members, the party took off outside to see the skyline of Skormp in flame with meteors raining down at various points every 30 seconds or so. As they made their way back to the Spice Family Estate, they found bodies strewn about and devils and demons running amuck in the streets. The Spice family estate was in flames, and Tork managed to go inside and retrieve the extra-planar portal which contained Jandar, Cesantar Spice, and Zirk while unfortunately discovering the body of Joanna Spice outside of it. A group of devils saw the party in the estate courtyard and started to advance as Wren opened a tree portal to her home of Bloomhaven. Running through the portal, they saw a meteor crash through the Spice Family Estate and the bright white of the tree being destroyed as well as the portal collapsed. Standing on the other side in a greening plaza, the party had escaped... for now. This ended the session on BranchForth 13, 2597 around mid-afternoon.
It Would Have Been Funnier If You Were Naked
Quality Relationship Time
Don't Do Other People's Jobs
Set Out What Laundry You Want
950,000 GP, 2 Goblets, & a Brothel
Perhaps an Opal, But Weird
Look Up at Kale
Piss the Potty Fund
Bachelor Party
Tax Implications
Orcs Don't Pay Taxes
Jandar Only Pays Half Taxes
Gambler's Curse
Have You Tried Journaling?
MotherWhore IS NOT 2 Halflings in a Trench Coat
The Majestic Absolute
Anyone Want to Bomb Some Places?
So, Assassinating the King
Very Costly to Assassinate a King
Fucking Psycho
Whale Kale
Did You Say Bust?
Slapping Your Own Mother
Equal Rights, Equal Fights
Glad We Could Talk
Half a Barrel of Ale In About An Hour...
My Dad Is a Massive Jerk
Elf Pool
Do We Have to Kill the King?
Arrested or Beheaded
Tork's Wedding as Bait?
Tork Didn't Think of Out
No Guarantee We'll All Survive
Treason, Terrorism, Assassination
Kale Will Be the Last to Die
Little Extra
Haven't Even Been to a Meeting
You All Get SWAG
Double Double Agents?
Fake Wedding Might Be Canceled
With Zirk, Everyday is a Bachelor Party
I Have an Ace of Spades, But It's In My Butt
Bad Feeling About This
"Trade Policies" Within the Gu'us Empire
We'll Take Care of That When It Pops Up
In Kale We Trust
Just Ask Him to Die?
Did Atticus Create a Serial Killer
Yeah It Was Part of the Plan...
Someone Sees More...
Kind of a Double Agent Situation
Kale Stares Blankly at the Wall
That Was a Close One Guys...
Bombs Across the Entire City
Take His Face & Wear It
Hell's Probably Invading, The Doom Has Come
Devils & Demons
I Think We Might Be Fucked
Find a Tree & Leaf
That Wasn't Real Fire, It Was Something Different
Cesentar is a Useful Idiot
Defeat the Entirety of Hell
Emperor of the World Rodan
Tork would like to ask Tork Father's if Tork can come back home to get married. Tork made friends. Love tork
You are welcome home whenever you please, as well as your betrothed.Rodan Spice also had a less than cordial conversation with his mother Joanna Spice which included mutual hitting. Rodan Spice also sent off a ruby necklace to Samantha (the MotherWhore).
With their errands complete, Cesantar Spice was sent to find Pikeman (Rocks) as a possible assassin for the king. He unfortunately reported back that Pikeman (Rocks) had been killed after passing out from drinking with his 50k winnings from the Gladiator games on him in the squalor. At the same time, Atticus was getting reports some of his informants were going missing and that the Squalor was being armed while also about ready to burst with anger. With Rom Laren "The Raven" covering the rumors around the bombings, Joint Operations LLC focused on how to assassinate the king. After much discussion and the entertaining of asking him to officiate Tork and Zirk's wedding, they decided to approach the The Oasis Society of which they were now a part with a proposition for making more money - they set the time and date for the arrival of the fleet from the Gu'us Empire, BranchForth 13, 2597.
On the misting midday of BranchForth 13, 2597, the party arrived at King Jorip's palace, walking across the quarter mile plaza to the rising palace and found a large table in the grand hall, but otherwise a completely deserted room. Eventually King Jorip came out without guards or an entourage, and spoke just to the party while safe inside the palace's antimagic field. Joint Operations LLC pitched him on taking over the Gu'us Empire for the The Oasis Society, and eventually when hearing the sounds of battle outside, attacked the king! Both Tork and Rodan Spice struck, causing the skin to slough off and reveal a black devil underneath. The King claimed they had made him like this by using his soul in exchange for information (at least according to his superiors). He also claimed to have died and came back and that death was not binding for him. He attempted to use a scroll on the party, but was unsuccessful as Tork knocked it from his grasp with Atticus retrieving it. After the party laid into him with attacks, he became upset that he had other things he was supposed to do that day, but said 'Fuck it', and summoned a meteor storm on top of them.
The meteors knocked out Kale, Wren, and Atticus as the devil King Jorip was 'killed'. After healing the downed members, the party took off outside to see the skyline of Skormp in flame with meteors raining down at various points every 30 seconds or so. As they made their way back to the Spice Family Estate, they found bodies strewn about and devils and demons running amuck in the streets. The Spice family estate was in flames, and Tork managed to go inside and retrieve the extra-planar portal which contained Jandar, Cesantar Spice, and Zirk while unfortunately discovering the body of Joanna Spice outside of it. A group of devils saw the party in the estate courtyard and started to advance as Wren opened a tree portal to her home of Bloomhaven. Running through the portal, they saw a meteor crash through the Spice Family Estate and the bright white of the tree being destroyed as well as the portal collapsed. Standing on the other side in a greening plaza, the party had escaped... for now. This ended the session on BranchForth 13, 2597 around mid-afternoon.
Rejected Session Names
Report Date
23 May 2024
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